Lights, Camera, Heartbreak
by Silviael
Summary: 88000 reads:Katie's been cast as Bella, but it isn't quite the easy fix to life she had imagined. It's becoming too tempting to forget who Katie Miller is and get lost in a mix of Bella and stereotypical movie star: it's lucky Henry, her anchor, is there.
1. Organized Chaos

**AN: This is not intended to be realistic in the slightest. I have no idea what a movie audition is like, don't take me at my word. Anything I put in is probably for story purposes. With that said, I thought this might be cute. Yes, there will be romance. Disclaimer: My IQ is nowhere near Stephenie Meyer's, nor do I conceive dreamy vampires in my sleep at night. Therefore I do not claim to be Stephenie Meyer. I do not own Twilight or Stephenie Meyer.**

**Quote of the Chapter: When things get insane, poke the author of the story.**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter One: Organized Chaos

Yes, there was screaming. Yes, there were copies of Twilight being waved in the air. Yes, we were all there for one thing: to audition for the Twilight movie.

Harassed-looking officials dodged around, voices hoarse by now, asking all the people to form a line. _Good luck with that. _Admittedly, about seventy-five percent of those people were girls. Not a one of them would move. Finally, Stephenie Meyer herself got two security officers to lift her up and yelled into the megaphone,

"Anyone who forms a line ASAP gets a free hug from Henry Cavill!"

All the girls jumped into a line, military-style, and there was blessed _silence _until a male member of the species yelled back,

"I don't want a hug from whatshisface, I want Pamela Anderson!"

Everyone groaned. Stephenie sighed. "I'll work on it. Please get in line."

Staff members gratefully moved down the two liens (guys and girls) handing out applications and pencils. I dug frantically through my purse for my headshot and three-quarter body shot. I didn't even know who I was auditioning for. My friend Anna had dragged me along at the last minute. I complained at the time; it seemed like a waste of good money and summer days. Now, though, I felt my heart beating faster. It felt like anything was possible.

Or maybe it was just my Frappucino's sugar and caffeine pumping through my system.

Either way I was revved up.

Then I got an application and my stomach plummeted. Previous experience? Specific, work-based talents? Agent? I felt slightly sick. I was way, way out of my league.

I looked around and saw similar thoughts on others' expressions; only a few were actually writing. Impulsively I reached out and touched my worn book, its pages falling out of the spine. Its familiar touch reassured me. They'd said no experience was necessary, right? No worries then. On with the show.

I started writing.

Name: Katie Lee Miller

Age: 15

Birthdate: 12/26/91

Height: 5'2"

I saw everyone else scribbling, too, and chewed the end of my pencil thoughtfully. I tried to look back over what I'd written so far with a casting director's point of view.

It was boring, I saw. It was easy to bypass.

I erased carefully and started over.

Name: Katie Lee Miller

Age: 15 (woot?)

Birthdate: The day after Christmas, 1991

Height: 5'2" (not short, fun-sized!)

I read it again and nodded. It wasn't professional, maybe it would come across as immature. But hey, it was unique. If I was going to go out (which was likely) I was going to go out with a bang.

Anna looked over at my paper- hers was already halfway finished, naturally- and gasped. "What are you doing?" she squeaked. I grinned.

"Oh, nothing." She was worried, but shrugged. She knew me better than to try to persuade me otherwise.

I'd had little experience, just five local plays. Still, I had some, I thought- trying to be optimistic. I grinned again fifteen minutes later, setting down my pencil with a pleased smirk. Good or bad, I wouldn't be forgotten.

I'd read on Mrs. Meyer's site that, to her surprise, they were letting her help with the first big round of casting. She walked down the row of girls, putting stickers on them. Blue was Bella, pink was Alice, and purple was Rosalie. Most of the girls above 5'5" automatically got Rosalie, regardless of hair color.

My heart pounded as she approached us. This was the author of Twilight, close enough to touch! I'd have to try to get an autograph later.

She sized Anna up quickly- there wasn't much to size. Anna was even shorter than me (4'8"), and she was a senior. Anna got a pink sticker- Alice. I'd expected as much. She would make a great Alice, I thought hopefully.

My turn.

Mrs. Meyer looked at me and handed me a blue sticker. Bella? Really? I felt like dancing. Bella! She thought I looked like Bella!

Well, more than I do Rosalie or Alice, I amended, trying not to put my head too far in the clouds.

Anna hugged me. "I hope we get to do an audition together," she said excitedly. "Oh, I'm so happy!"

I smiled and laughed at her exuberance. Yep, she'd make a perfect Alice. "Me, too," I said.

Once Mrs. Meyer had finished stickering the girls and started over to the boys, officials sorted us into three different lines temporarily, according to our colors. I grasped my application and pictures with sweaty hands, feeling a blush rise in my cheeks as I stapled my pictures to the paper and handed both in to the lady sitting at the table. She nodded briskly and peered at me through wire-rimmed glasses, handing me a light stack of paper.

"Half an hour before you're called back," she said with a welcoming smile, giving me a pin to wear. It was blue, and had a number on it: I was Bella number three hundred and two. _Um. Wow. _"When your number is called please report to door three." She pointed out a door on the left side of the theater.

I went back to my stuff, where Anna was already sitting. We'd promised not to look at our papers before we were together again, and she was nearly bouncing up and down on the ground. I felt my stomach do a jig. What scene had I gotten? I couldn't believe I was about to take a look at the Twilight script. Even if I got no farther than the first round, I still was one of the first people in the world to see this writing.

"Can I open mine first?" Anna asked hopefully, looking at me with her big blue eyes. She didn't look much like Alice, hair-and-skin-wise; she had dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, with tanned skin. I shook back unease. Her face and attitude were great for Alice, I thought firmly. And she'd been dancing all her life, so her step was very graceful. It would be fine.

"Sure," I responded. She'd been waiting longer, after all. She grabbed my hand and inhaled as she flipped over her script and looked at the scene, scrutinizing it.

"Who're you reading with?" I asked, breath held.

She smiled up at me, her teeth flashing. "Bella and Jasper. It's one of the hotel room scenes in Phoenix."

I felt that knot in my stomach come back. "Wouldn't it be awesome if I was reading Bella with you?"

She bounced. She'd get dizzy if she kept this up. "Look, look, look!" She prodded, swinging my hand back and forth. I chortled.

"All right, calm down," I said, trying to pretend I wasn't as excited as her. I took hold of the paper edge and flipped it over so fast I got a paper cut. "Ow," I muttered. "I guess Bella's rubbing off on me."

Anna glared at me full force. "Look at the stupid paper." I smiled and peered down, heart going _thud-thud, thud-thud. _

Oh no.

I had the meadow scene. With Edward.

Crap.

Don't get me wrong, that's one of my favorite scenes in the entire book. It's beautiful. But it's also pretty emotionally intense, and would involve being… close… to a guy that I'd never seen before in my life.

Anna ripped the paper away from me in irritation. "Katie…" she growled, looking closer. She squealed, waving it around. "Aww! You get to audition with an Edward!"

"Anna, put it down," I muttered, blushing hotly. "Please." People were turning to stare and see what was going on. "Anna?"

She crossed her arms. "Oh, fine. You're no fun." She perked up again instantly. "Let's practice our lines!"

I grimaced. "All right. I'll read Bella and Jasper for you."

Her eyes narrowed to slits. "Oh, no you don't. You're auditioning before me; I'm not going in for another hour. Let's practice."

I flushed. "Um, okay. Sure."

**AN: I love rolling chairs. I had a rolling-chair race with someone in second block today. If you get bored during class, scoot around on a rolly chair. Haha. Random I know, but it's good advice :)**

**--Silviael**


	2. Magnetic

**AN: Thanks for the reviews. I'm getting back into the writing now that Christmas fury is almost over, so I should be updating more frequently. Note to Ms. Jessica: Haha, your brother's in this chapter. Wouldn't he make a good Jasper if he was taller?**

**Disclaimer: Ladidah. I will swear a Girl Scout oath. I, Silviael Araceli (doesn't that sound pretty?) swear that I own not Twilight, New Moon, or Henry Cavill. Sadly.**

**Quote of the Chapter: Dear Heart, I met a boy today: prepare to shatter.**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Two: Magnetic

My palms sweated and I rubbed them anxiously against my slippery black skirt. I felt so overdressed. The majority of the others in my twenty-girl group were wearing jeans and a T-shirt, generally with some Twilight-related item printed on the shirt. I was wearing my knee-length handkerchief-hem skirt and a dark green sweater. I'd tried not to dress like Bella. I'd wanted to come across as my own person, and impress the casting directors with my acting alone. Now I wished I could revise that decision.

I was pleased to see that the directors were keeping an open mind. Several blondes and redheads were here to audition for Bella. I guessed they were casting more by face and build than hair and eye color.

A tall man came in and there was instant silence. "Hello," he said. I saw several friends swinging each others' hands back and forth nervously. I wished Anna was there with me. She'd wished me luck, and that was all she could do.

"I'm Simon Ride, one of the casting directors with Twilight," he said with a genial smile. "All of you here are ready to audition for Bella, correct?" We nodded, some more fervently than others. "Then let's get the show on the road. When I call your number please step forward and tell me your name, age, city, and state."

I was second in my group, I realized; three hundred and one to three hundred and twenty. Go me.

"Number three-oh-one," Simon said with another white smile, and a taller girl with mouse brown hair stepped forward.

"Jenna Fisher," she said quietly and quickly. "I'm nineteen, from Detroit, Michigan." She hastily got back in line.

"Number three-oh-two," he said, making a note on Jenna's paper before shuffling over to mine.

"Katie Miller," I said firmly but not overbearingly- I hoped. "I'm fifteen from Charleston, West Virginia."

My nerves settled into a dull thrum as I took my place again. It felt good to blend back in.

I pitied several girls who spoke so quietly I couldn't hear, or so quickly that I couldn't understand them. I noticed that Simon made a much shorter notation on theirs. Maybe writing "no" or "quiet"? I wondered what he wrote about me. Curiosity killed the cat.

He nodded at the end of the group. "Thank you," he said, seeming distracted. "You'll be sent for in groups of five momentarily." He exited the way he came in and my body tingled. This was where we'd get to act, I was sure. I read over my lines again- by now I didn't need the script. I couldn't act as well as some people but I was very good at memorizing.

"What scene do you have?" A girl asked, sitting next to me. I distantly remembered that she was one of the better speakers- Gabrielle, I thought. She had dark brown ringlets and melting brown eyes. Other than her tan skin she looked like a very good Bella.

"The meadow," I replied. She sighed enviously.

"Lucky," she said. "I just have a monologue from the beginning of the book, when Bella moves to Forks. Not that interesting."

I smiled. "I'm sure you'll do really well." She had dimples when she grinned. I felt a pang of envy. She was so pretty, in a Plain Jane way. So… Bella.

She was also in my group, as number three hundred and five. When we were called into the adjoining room she squeezed my arm.

We walked through the door and into a giant auditorium.

"Oh my gosh," I said in amazement. Did we really need all this grandeur for ten auditionees?

For there were five boys there waiting. By their stickers I saw two Edwards, an Emmett, a Carlisle, and a Jasper. Oh, boy.

"First," he called.

I didn't envy Jenna as she walked up onstage with the wannabe Jasper. Her hands shook on her script, but still she raised her eyes and looked at the directors. "Good," said the female we hadn't met. "Everyone, I'm Pam Batchelder and this is Simon Ride. We're the two casting directors of Twilight. Thank you all for being here today."

I licked my lips nervously.

"When we call your scene number," Pam continued, "please come onstage as these two have done. We'll ask you a few questions and then indicate for you to begin your scene. Before you start does anyone have a problem with being videotaped?" Wait. What? "It helps us remember you," she clarified. "The tape will not be distributed or abused, only viewed to help us make casting decisions. If one of you wishes for the camera to be turned off during your audition, tell us and we'll be happy to oblige- but we warn you, it will hurt your chances of being remembered."

No one said a word. I wasn't photogenic, I thought worriedly. Oh well. I'd live. "All right," Simon took over. "Jenna Fisher, correct?" The aspiring Bella nodded, looking like a bobblehead. "Nick Mason?" The blond smiled, seeming laid-back.

He was a little short for Jasper, but otherwise looked pretty good. Long blond hair, somewhere around nineteen or twenty I'd guess, with a lean build and easy smile. Hm.

Simon asked a few questions of each, writing down more notes. The questions were trivial about themselves and their characters. I saw how the pair of actors relaxed as they went along and realized that that was the real purpose behind the questions- to get the auditionees accustomed to the stage before putting them on the spot.

Pam spoke again. "Thank you. Now if you'll bring out your scripts, Nick will be reading Jasper, Jenna will read Bella, and I'll read Alice."

It was the hotel room scene- the one Anna got, I thought. Just thinking of Anna brought a wave of reassurance across me.

The camera rolled and the actors began.

I watched, trying to look at the pair with a casting director's eye. Jenna was too quiet, too fidgety, I thought. Bella was shy but not quite that self-conscious, not in this scene. She was supposed to be claustrophobic, biting-nails nervous, not they're-all-going-to-laugh-at-me nervous.

Nick did a credible job as Jasper, I saw with approval. He had a kind of dangerous languor that suited the character.

"Thank you," Simon said, writing more on their sheets before setting them aside. "You may sit back down. Scene two."

That was me.

Oh, boy.

I took a deep breath, grasped my script, and walked up the stairs to the stage. Unfortunately, I tripped on the top one. Oops. I saw with chagrin that the red light was still blinking on the camera. Crap, that was on film!

I blushed as I came to center stage. A gum-chewing boy with acne sauntered near me, ragged script dangling from two fingers. This was Edward?!

Ew.

"Katie Miller," Simon said, checking with me. I gave him a cheery thumbs-up and he smiled. "Joey Harmon." The boy cocked an eyebrow, smacking his gum. "Er, yes, if you could please remove your gum." An aide came with a trash can and the boy grudgingly spit out the wad of white in his mouth.

"What's your favorite color?" Simon asked.

My mouth twitched. Well, that was a life-changing question. "Dark green," I answered.

"Black," said Joey, trying to blow a bubble in his gum before remembering he had none.

"What do you think your character's best attribute is, that you want to portray them?" Simon asked.

Joey answered first this time, winking at Simon. "He's hot." I tried to cover my horror. Out of all the Edwards, I had to get a gay one? (AN: I have nothing against gays. Just the thought of Edward being gay, though… Sorry, back to the story.)

Simon flinched a little. "And you, Katie?"

I thought. "I like how Bella is so dry," I said. "She's so quiet in front of everyone, but in her own mind she's so sarcastic. I loved her narrating voice."

He nodded, making a note. I wondered if he had to carry an entire pack of pencils with him. Maybe if I got cast, I thought with a mental chortle, I'd buy him mechanical pencils and lead for Christmas.

Yeah, if.

"You may begin when you're ready," Pam called, and I took another breath before beginning.

I imagined that it wasn't Joey in front of me. It was Edward, the Edward of my dreams. I had to pretend that this was real. That I was Bella. And I could, amazingly, feel myself becoming Bella. Every girl identified with some part of the narrator, I thought with feeling. They just had to show that.

Thank God Simon cut us off about two seconds before Joey was supposed to lean in and kiss me.

"Thank you," he said absently, writing. No, I should get him a pack of multi-colored thin Sharpies. Make life interesting. Of course, that was all assuming I'd get past the first round of casting- from the carefully neutral look on Pam's face, I didn't think I'd done so hot. "You may sit down."

I wasn't impressed by any of the Bellas but Gabrielle. She was good, I thought sadly. Very good. She commanded the stage during her monologue, gesturing and making faces. She must've taken classes.

"All right," Pam said after everyone was seated. "After we've finished the initial auditions here, we'll communicate to the people we want to call back by phone or email, depending on the preference you wrote on your application." She looked at us gravely. "I'm sorry, but we will only be calling back one fourth of those who audition. It's good to hope, but don't expect a call. There is very heavy competition for each role. Thank you for coming, and we hope to see you in a month or so."

No pressure or anything, I muttered in my mind. That was a cheery little speech. Still, I had to give her credit for being honest. Most of us wouldn't get callbacks; maybe none of us in my entire group of Bellas would.

"You did a good job," I told Gabrielle with a smile. She shook her head.

"You were awesome," she said, and she sounded sincere. "Considering what you were working with…" we both winced…. "That was unbelievable." We exchanged emails and parted. I headed down the hall back to Anna. I tripped on thin air and scattered my things.

I smelled a man's cologne as a figure bent down to help me. "Oops," I murmured, blushing red. "I'm a klutz, sorry."

"Not a problem," Henry Cavill said, and we stood up at the same time. Amazingly, I managed to not bump heads with him. I mentally congratulated myself. That was more poise than usual. "I'm Henry."

"Katie," I said tentatively, shaking hands with him. For some reason I couldn't take my eyes off his. "Are… are you auditioning?"

"I guess so," he said, pointing to his sticker. Oh. Double oops. He laughed. "And you're a Bella?"

"Not for long," I said wryly. "I just finished."

He shrugged. "I'm sure you did well," he said with a dazzling smile. I blinked. Um, wow. Someone called from the audition room and, my face heating up, I realized that he was supposed to be auditioning- a private audition. He was a special case, obviously.

"Good luck," I stammered out. "Thanks."

He handed me the last item I'd dropped. "You're welcome. Be careful," he said with a grin. "Lots of air to trip over around here."

"I'd noticed," I said, dry. "Thanks… again."

"You're welcome… again," he said, still looking at me, that heartbreaking smile curving his sculpted face. On impulse he pulled out a card.

"If we both get callbacks," he said, handing it to me, "We ought to practice lines together."

"That… would be great," I whispered, eyes locked onto his. He pressed the paper into my hand, his touch making my nerves tingle, and then walked into the auditorium.

I hadn't even thought to ask for an autograph.


	3. Calls and Callbacks

**AN: Happy New Year! I'll be posting tons this week- at least one chapter on all my stories. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, put the story on alert, or favorited it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own movies, don't own movie casts, but most of all I don't own Twilight or New Moon.**

**Quote of the Chapter: There's a fire in your eyes, and I hope you let it burn. There's a scream in your voice, and I hope you will be heard.**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Three: Calls and Callbacks

I went downstairs again, checking my email. Nothing.

I'd pretty much given up hope by now- after all, it had been three months. I hadn't ever thought I'd get a callback, I told myself. But it was a lie. I hadn't expected one, but I'd hoped for it, and every time I thought about the auditions a little knot formed in my stomach, sinking down to nestle on the prickly edges of my nerves. I remembered Henry Cavill's cologne. I still couldn't believe I had his business card.

That little white piece of thick paper was worn by now. When I was bored I would take it out and run my fingers over the formerly crisp edges, my skin tingling from its familiar texture.

I wished, as I had dozens if not hundreds of times before, that I could work up the guts to use that phone number, or at least the email. I remembered all too well that I was supposed to contact him if I got a callback. What if I didn't? It was unlikely at this point, wasn't it? Would it be annoying… childish, even… to try to still talk to him?

I was driving myself crazy. That's just the way I was. If I couldn't change something I worried constantly about the possible outcomes of it, wondering how it would all turn out. This equation had plenty of variables.

I wrote another chapter on the story I'm writing and checked the clock- it was almost nine-thirty at night, and I still had to shower before bed. I sighed. I couldn't deceive myself. I'd been spending a lot more time on the computer lately, hoping to see an email from Simon Ride or Pam Batchelder. It wasn't going to happen, but the hope was one of those instinctive things. I couldn't help that little bubble in my chest that burst every time I saw an empty inbox.

I sighed and checked my email one more time- nothing. Always nothing. I signed off and headed upstairs.

It was the last time I'd check that email, I promised myself. A few weeks ago I'd started a new email so I wouldn't keep hoping, but I couldn't bring myself to delete that email account. It was my only chance.

Anna hadn't gotten a callback either, I consoled myself, and she was a brilliant Alice. Maybe the auditions were taking longer than expected, and I still might get a message.

And maybe tomorrow I would wake up as the long-lost heir to the throne of Neverland.

I showered and went to bed early. I couldn't stand any more disappointment today.

The next day when I got home from school, I deleted the email account. My finger shook on the mouse as I clicked to confirm the choice. There was no going back, I thought as I threw my script in the trash. I had to move on. I'd see the movie when it came out and the Bella Swan in it would be much better than I would be.

The phone rang. My heart raced, as it always did. I knew it wouldn't be Henry Cavill- how could it be, when he didn't have my card?- but my heart betrayed me every time. Apparently it still believed in miracles.

I waited three rings for my mom to pick it up. She yelled down from the couch, "Katie, get the phone!" Great.

I reached up behind me lazily. "Hello?"

"Hi, is Katie Miller there?"

"Speaking," I said, sitting up straighter in the computer chair. I didn't recognize the man's voice.

"This is Simon Ride, from Twilight," he said. My stomach instantly decided to have dragonflies fluttering around in it. They were pointier than butterflies.

"Um. Nice to talk to you. Again." I floundered, scrabbling for coherent conversation. It wasn't one of my talents at my best, and it was a definite hindrance at worst.

"Yes, you too. Listen, we've been trying to get in touch with you for a few weeks now, but your email seems to repel ours. It's one of those mailer-daemon things." (AN: I HATE MAILER DAEMON. Thank you.) "So it's kind of short notice, but Pam and I would like to have you in for a callback next week with a group."

Callback? Yes, yes, yes yes yes! Wait. Next week. During school. Oh, _crap_. "I… don't know," I said, a rock lodged in my throat. "I really would like to come, Mr. Ride, but I have school. And New York's a ten-hour drive without any stops."

"I know," he said, tone way too chipper for someone under as much mental stress as he was under at the moment. "That's why we're bringing this set of callbacks to Columbus. We have several different sites- New York, LA, Houston, Miami, and Columbus. I understand it's still not convenient, exactly, but it's only a three-hour drive, and it's on a Saturday morning so you wouldn't have to miss school."

I inhaled. My parents probably wouldn't go for this, but I had a chance now. I wasn't about to let it go. "Well," I said, trying to contain the excitement in my voice. "I think I can do that, but I'll have to check with my parents…"

"Excellent," said Simon briskly. "I'll have a script airmailed to your address. Is it still 2906 Macon Street?"

"Yes," I said, head whirling. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few things…"

"Oh. Yes. Of course. I'll see you next Saturday, then, hopefully?"

"Hopefully," he agreed. He said goodbye and hung up, leaving me staring at the phone in astonishment.

I got a callback.

I swallowed. I could now legally call Henry Cavill. Oh, my.

I decided that I'd wait until I got the script, so I wouldn't be stuck with nothing to talk with him about. After all, he'd wanted to read lines. And I was certain he'd gotten a callback. How could he not?

I called Anna. "Guess what?" I said, attempting to sound halfway sane.

I raced home on Monday and tore open the script. It was here! I looked at the sheets of white paper- four pages in all- and sat down slowly, before my knees gave out. I looked at the card on the table in front of me.

Hoo, boy, I was crazy.

"Hello?" I said, nervous. "Is Mr. Cavill there?"

"This is he," said a strong British baritone voice. "May I ask who's calling?"

"Um," I said, my face heating up. This was way easier in plan form than in reality. "This is Katie Miller." Silence. "I… I met you at the auditions for Twilight. You said if we got callbacks we should read together."

There were another few seconds of awkward, heart-pounding silence, then I heard, "Oh, I remember! You tripped on air."

"That would be me," I admitted with a small laugh. "I'm very talented at that."

"I assume you got a callback, then?" he said.

"Yes. I'm pretty sure you did," I replied.

"I did. Were you wanting to read over the script?"

"Whenever, you know… just… whenever's convenient for you," I finished lamely. Yep, I was crazy. I had just willingly sacrificed my dignity. I couldn't act to save my life, yet I was asking to practice lines with an incredible, professional actor. I was going to die.

But that's okay, because right then I was in heaven.

"Right now is all right," said Henry. "I'm on a break between projects. Which audition are you going to?"

"The one in Columbus," I said, scanning the pages of information in front of me- seven in the morning at the COSI center.

Hey, I could learn about science while I was waiting for my turn to audition.

"Me, too," he said. "It was that or LA, and LA is way too crowded these days. Columbus isn't that bad."

My stomach flip-flopped. I would get to meet him again! And this time I was going to get an autograph- just in case, you know, the only place I ever saw him after that was on the big screen.

**AN: This was mainly a bridge chapter. The next one is the first time Henry and Katie audition together… I'm looking forward to it, haha. Thanks for reading!**


	4. A Certain Charisma

**AN: Thanks for all the awesome reviews! This story is my most popular out of the all the others, even Blush, so I'm surprised and pleased ;) I appreciate every review, every favorite, every alert that I get. **

**Disclaimer: Bored. Bluh.**

**Quote of the Chapter: This could be the start of something new; it feels so right to be here with you. (Ha, ha. High School Musical. Bow before its extremely annoying perkiness)**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Four: A Certain Charisma

COSI. Oh, that innocent little building would be the death of me.

I'd been to that tourist attraction several times when I was visiting family here in Columbus. I knew it pretty well. But never before had I seen it in this light.

The light that involves wishing it would just DIE.

I had obsessed for hours last night over what I would wear, whether or not I should wear makeup, what I should bring. I was even more nervous now than I had been at the initial auditions. Now I was going up against some truly talented people, most of whom would have mucho more experience and poise than me.

They were the kind of people, I thought as I watched several traipsing loftily into the building, who walked on air. I was the kind of person who tripped on it. Our species didn't mix.

They all looked like Nazis, facially. It reminded me of one of those fight-to-the-death cowboy scenes I'd watched with my grandpa. The survival of the fittest. In this battle I was well and truly alone.

I gulped.

"Ready yet?" my mom asked, exasperated.

Oh, yeah, my mom was with me. I wasn't _completely_ alone. What? I'm only fifteen, I don't even have my learner's permit yet. "I guess," I muttered, and even those two words made the bile in my throat rise to my mouth. How was I supposed to say lines when I couldn't talk for fear of throwing up on the casting directors?

I'd just have to get over it.

Have you heard of people giving themselves mental "pep talks" before something really big happens? Like talking to their crush, or giving a speech in front of the student body, or singing a solo in a choir, or running the mile in gym. Yeah, I wasn't one of those people. As you can probably tell, I'm more in the way of the _I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, it's going to be a long and torturous, painful death_ persuasion.

But I grabbed my bag and climbed out of the car, stumbling over the tread. Oops. Well, this day was starting off brilliantly.

After much debate I'd worn a nice pair of tan corduroy pants and a fuzzy sweater with dark brown and tan stripes. It made me look older… I hoped.

My mom tried to get me in a better mood, but I refused to be happy. I was about to do something I'd sworn never to do: intentionally embarrass myself in front of a large group of people.

Man, this Henry Cavill must be someone to get me out here.

I cheered up a little at that thought. Ha, ha, I was going to see Henry, I was going to see Heeennnry… As in, right this second, because I bumped into him while my head was turned sideways looking at all the Porsches and Ferraris in the parking lot.

"Whoa, whoa, Katie," he laughed, catching my arm and steadying me. "Nice to see you again, too."

My mom was drooling. Oh my God. My _mom_ was drooling. Not that I blamed her… but still, I had warned her about the effect Henry seemed to have on people.

"Um," was all I could say, face bright red. I'd thought of a thousand different romantic reunions. They didn't really involve me practically falling all over him.

At least not accidentally, ha, ha.

Back to the present and away from my nefarious schemes. We started walking, Henry next to me, my heart beating about twelve times faster. I was starting to wonder if he was really healthy for me. Butterflies in the stomach. Heart overreacting. That couldn't be good, could it?

Oh well. I'd live, just as long as I could keep smelling his cologne next to me.

"So, are you ready for this?" I finally said, retaining some shred of normalcy as long as I didn't take a good hard glance in his direction.

"Why, nervous?" he asked, grinning. Oh, that British accent…

"No, not me." He raised his eyebrows and I grimaced. "Okay, yeah, I lied."

He shrugged. "I'm always nervous," he said easily, smiling. "It's better that way. Nerves give you energy to do better, as long as you channel that energy. And if you're not nervous that means you're doing something wrong."

I nodded, considering. "How many people usually come to these things?" I asked. Yes, very eloquent of me, I know. I was sure to win his heart with my flowering, mysterious words.

"Oh, around five hundred for each part," he said, so casual I thought he was joking. But unfortunately he was serious.

"Across the nation, right?" Even better- internationally.

"No," he said. "Five hundred per part as in, here in Columbus, and five hundred in New York, and so on."

Now I really was about to be sick. "Didn't they eliminate anyone during the first round?" I groaned. My mother was listening, silent for once, God bless her.

He glanced at me, surprised. "About three-fourths of the applicants. It's a pretty popular movie."

"Must be."

Ow. That would make roughly 2500 Bellas just in the U.S. Ow, that was a little daunting. A lot daunting.

We'd arrived at the door by now- you would not believe how huge the parking lot and stairs are at COSI, unless you've been there- and Henry held open the door for my mom first and then me. I passed _under his arm. _My head almost brushed the bottom of it.

Wow, I had it bad.

My mom went and sat all alone. Apparently none of the others were uncool enough to bring parents. I was a rebel, I was.

Henry put his hand on my shoulder and steered me in the right direction. I muttered thanks under my breath, feeling that cursed blush steal my composure again.

There were so many _people. _These were only auditions for Bella and Edward, but that was still a thousand auditionees in this one room. Claustrophobic!

I was thankful they'd separated people by audition numbers, not parts, because I would've had to go check in on my own without Henry. As it was his line was right next to mine; I was Bella number fifty-five, in the line for numbers fifty through a hundred, and he was number one. Naturally.

We stood next to each other for almost an hour. I couldn't help yawning a few times. We were supposed to be ready to go at seven; that meant being checked in and sorted out. As it was I'd gotten up a little before five on a Saturday morning. It's not like beauty sleep would do me any good, but still.

I finally checked in, showed the nice man my script, and he gave me a pin. Hey, I'd been promoted. At the other auditions I'd gotten a sticker.

I met Henry around at the café downstairs. He was wearing a pin. I couldn't wait to sit down and talk to him. I had a bunch of questions- about him, and about auditions.

"Any rules for eating before a big audition?" I asked, eyeing the coffee stand. I'd need some kind of caffeine to get me through the next few hours sane.

"Eat whatever you feel like," he informed me. "It'll make you more comfortable."

I grinned. His wish was my command. I got an English Toffee cappuccino, a doughnut, and a bottled water for later. I'd eaten breakfast at five-thirty at the local biscuit place. I was starving. Tension could do that to a girl.

He ate, too, and we talked a lot. We read over the scripts a few more times. I asked him what the standard procedure was for this kind of audition; he answered that numbers didn't matter anymore. The directors had looked at our tapes and separated us into groups according to who they'd like to see together. Mixing elements and hoping you got a big explosion, basically.

I fidgeted while they called the first group's numbers. Neither of us was in it and I breathed a sigh of relief. I grabbed another doughnut. I really didn't care about weight right now. I needed emotional help, and what better to do that than Krispy Kreme?

Both of us were in the second group.

I had the best kind of luck, I thought. I'd have a friend with me this time.

Henry and I devised a secret handshake, and we did it before going into the theatre. I didn't COSI had a theatre, but apparently they did. That's what the door said anyway. I really hoped they weren't going to trick us into some kind of exhibit and lock us in and tell us whoever survived got the parts…

Vivid imagination not good in stressful moments.

My heart broke when Henry was called up onstage with Bella number forty-two. I eyed the other Edwards, nine guys, and thought they weren't quite as bad as Joey, but not nearly as good as Henry.

Shame, because I'd have to get over it.

I was paired with a John Mottesheard. He had long, jet black hair. He was pale. And he was okay, I guess, but nothing- nada- compared to Henry. Although I may have been a little biased.

I did my best, and Henry applauded me as I walked off again and sat next to him. Needless to say he'd aced the audition. The Bella had been pretty good, I admitted grudgingly to myself. She hadn't really fit with Henry, to my mind, but she was a good Bella.

Then they started experimenting, throwing random people onstage together. When they saw Henry and me sitting next to each other they shrugged and said, "Why not?"

Henry high-fived me and we practically skipped up in front of everyone. I took a breath to compose myself, and saw him with eyes shut, doing the same. Every second of this was on camera.

And we did it.

We'd never done anything other than reading the lines before. This was acting, this was real, and I could feel electricity simmering in the air between us. Henry was so sad as Edward. So beautiful. I could only hope my performance was half as good as his. And as we went through the scene I became immersed in it. I forgot the rest of the world existed. Only Twilight. For that moment Twilight was real.

We finished, staring at each other, not moving, and then we saw the other eighteen people stand up and start clapping. The casting directors tried to look impartial, but Simon allowed,

"You two have… a certain charisma."

**AN: Let me emphasize. I have NO CLUE what real auditions are like. I'm twisting everything to fit the story. No aspiring movie stars out there flame me for not being realistic, okay? LOL. That said... the more reviews I get the faster I feel inclined to update... Thanks for reading, folks, and ya'all come back now!**


	5. Welcome to Hollywood

**AN: I had a bunch of people ask what scene Henry and Katelynn did- at the time I'd thought about writing that in, but I couldn't remember any good scenes to do, because I'm saving the more intense scenes for bigger things. I've finally decided that they did the scene in Edward's bedroom, where he talks with Bella and proceeds to pounce on her, haha. One of my favorite scenes.**

**By the way, thanks to the two or three people who said (but in a nice way) "Get your butt moving on the next chapter!" Oops. I've been a little busy lately… but guilt works wonders, so thank you :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. From now on my disclaimer's in my profile.**

**Quote of the Chapter: Friends are God's way of apologizing for our families.**

BLUSH

Chapter Five: Welcome to Hollywood

"Hey," Henry's voice said. I squirmed in my seat, doing a mental dance. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," I said, trying to be calm. "You got a callback?"

"Yeah," he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "You too?"

"Yep," I laughed, bouncing up and down on my seat. Today I felt like Alice Cullen incarnate. Just _happy_. "When are you supposed to go?"

"Tuesday," he answered, and my jaw dropped. God was on my side.

"Maybe you can show me around LA," I joked lightly, and I heard him chuckle.

"Let me guess: you're flying in on Monday night, too?"

"Uh-huh. I'm really excited," I admitted, and finished going over my packing list.

This was so _rad_. This time they didn't want me in Columbus, oh no. They were going to pay for travel and board for me to come to them.

I loved my life as of right then... Henry was talking. Must listen to the hot movie star, I reminded myself. "Since we'll be staying in the same hotel, we ought to meet somewhere and read over lines," he said cheerfully. "After all, this is the most important audition."

My tummy dropped. "Oh, boy. Why?"

"Because this is when it's really narrowed down, and they're looking for the cast instead of ideas," he said seriously. "They have makeshift sets, and everything."

"Oh…" I would've fallen flat on my butt so long ago if it wasn't for him. Both metaphorically and literally. "That should be fun."

"Yeah," he agreed, and I heard someone talking near him. "Listen, I've got to go finish shooting this commercial. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," I said in disappointment. I'd hoped we could talk longer. Oh, well, movie stars must do what movie stars must do, I supposed. "Whoa, wait. Where are you?"

"I'm in Sydney," he said casually. "Awfully sunny over here."

"Sydney, _Australia_?" I squeaked. So much for me being the sophisticated, worldly young actress, huh?

"No," he said. "Sydney, Florida."

"Oh." Oops. I didn't realize there _was _a Sydney, Florida. "Have fun with that."

"I'll try. Don't get into too much trouble, okay?"

"I'll try," I mimicked, and sighed. "See you Monday, then."

"See you Monday," he agreed, and hung up. I stared at the phone sadly.

_Call me back_, I pleaded. _Ring, ring ring. _

It rang! It listened to me!

"Long time no speak," I said. There was silence.

"Um, Katie?"

I winced. It was Anna, not Henry. Easy mistake to make. "Oh. Hey."

"Nice to talk to you too," she said wryly. "So… have you heard anything yet?"

Reality crashed back on me like a ton of freaking bricks. Anna'd gone to callbacks for Alice about four days after me. I'd heard about my callback yesterday. Apparently, she hadn't. Tell her? Don't tell her? "Uh, yeah. I got a call yesterday afternoon."

"And you didn't tell me?" Hurt crept into her voice.

Whoops. I'd been fidgeting over whether or not I should call Henry. In the end he'd called me, but I'd been about to give in. "Sorry. I got a little preoccupied."

"Oh, no worries," she said tightly.

"What about you?" I knew she was waiting to be asked.

"Nothing."

"Yet," I completed, trying to sound cheery. "But your callbacks were after mine, right? Maybe they'll talk to you later, too."

"Yeah, maybe," she said, sounding dead. "I should let you practice your lines. Bye."

She hung up on me.

I stared at the phone, speechless.

For the past few weeks things had been tense between us. I'd made sure to talk to her as much as I could, and I'd invited her over to spend the night last weekend. But I think she was mad, because of Henry- which was really not like her. She was never jealous, ever, not even when I got something she wanted.

But, I reminded myself, that's because I usually felt guilty and ended up giving it to her anyway.

A niggling voice in the back of my head said that that wasn't how friendship was supposed to be. But Anna and I had been best friends for eleven years now and counting. It's just the way we worked.

I inhaled sharply as I opened up my UPS package. Scripts are lovely things, I decided, staring at the crisp white paper. Especially when they've got really good scenes to go with them.

I grinned devilishly. I hoped I got to do this scene with Henry. Wanna know why? I'll tell you. It was the scene in Bella's bedroom, where they're lying next to each other and talking. Whee!

Like I said, life is good. Because even if I don't get to act with Henry (I mentally cried at the thought) I'd still get to be very very close to someone very very hot.

I scratched the paint off my nails out of habit as I read out loud, playing with different timing and different emotions until I found a Bella I could work with. I was quite proud of myself… I hoped Henry would be, too.

LA, 6:00 MONDAY NIGHT 

"Katie," my mom whispered, poking me gently. "Katie, sweetie, we're landing." I blearily opened my eyes and grimaced. Ugh. LA had so many lights, it hurt my eyes.

I'd only been on a plane trip once before, surprisingly enough; my family had gone to Texas to visit my dad's extended family. It had been a jinxed trip from the beginning: our flight out of Charleston was delayed on hour, so when we landed for our connecting flight in Detroit we saw our said connecting flight taking off without us. We waited four hours on hard airport seats for the next plane to Houston, only to learn at midnight that we'd have to stay the night; there were too many thunderstorms in Texas to land.

It was crap, getting up at four in the morning to catch the flight. (A/N: That is a true story of my first plane trip. It sucked, let me tell you… although I quite liked the plane peanuts… A/N)

But anyway, back in the moment.

I mentally sighed when I realized I'd fallen asleep with my music on. My MP3 player didn't have a very long battery life; I'd need to find a USB port at our hotel.

Our hotel.

I squirmed, suddenly very much awake. Henry would be at the hotel. Hopefully we'd be going to the pool to relax and I'd get to see him in swimming trunks…

But wait. That would involve me being in a swimsuit. Never mind, then. There is no way.

I'm very saddened by the fact that Speedos are ruined for me. I used to love them on guys. Then I was at the beach and saw a ninety-year-old man in one. It was _disgusting_, and I never recovered. (A/N: Sadly, yet another true story.)

I tucked all my stuff into my carry-on and kind of brushed the crumbs off my food tray, putting it up. They'd have to sweep anyway, right?

My mom had taken me shopping for the trip. Unfortunately she'd also taken herself shopping. She was dressed in what she considered to be very nice clothes. I just didn't look at her if I could help it. I wasn't a big fan of chartreuse silk.

I oh-so-carefully picked my way down the treacherous steps, congratulating myself when I made it down to level ground without falling and getting a huge bruise on my face. While that might be very Bella, it wasn't the impression I wanted to make tomorrow.

My mom clutched my arm with stubby fingers, squinting around the crowd. "They said someone would pick us up," she reminded me unnecessarily.

"I know, Mom," I said with a sigh.

Then I found a sign waving in the air that read "Katie and Pat Miller." I smiled in relief and tugged Mom toward it. "Come on, almost there," I panted five minutes later, fighting against the crowd.

Someone _tripped _me just as I reached our sign. I heard the guilty group laugh as they went past. Meanwhile I was falling, falling, falling…

And hit now-familiar arms.

"Can't leave you alone for a week, can I?" Henry laughed, grasping my arms and standing back from me. I suddenly felt very self-conscious. I was entirely too aware of my bedhead hair, my smeared eyeliner, wrinkled clothes. He smiled, though, and gave me a little hug.

I needed to find out what cologne he wore and buy some, so I could always smell him. It may not be Edward Cullen's scent, but it was pretty darn nice.

My mom gaped at Henry, open-mouthed. "This is our chauffeur, Katie?" She said, eyes wide.

I blushed as Henry winked at her and mumbled, "Mom, this is Henry. Henry, this is Mom."

"Hey, Mom," Henry said. "Welcome to Hollywood."

**AN: Reviews are good motivators... and the bedroom scene is next. LOL that sounds so dirty.**


	6. Say Anything

AN: This is kind of a songfic chapter… but I bet none of you can tell me who the song is by. If you can, I'll make you a character in the next chapter!! And don't go googling it, either. I SEE YOU!!

P.S. Excuse my typos, I'm trying to get this up vair vair quickly.

Quote of the Chapter: Hit me with your best shot tonight, yeah, we'll say everything fine. I can't sleep to save my life- until it's over.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Six: Say Anything

_Tonight's the worst that I've felt in a long time._

_You made me feel so good that it's all right._

I sank back onto my bed in the hotel room, my head in severe pain from all the stress it's been under today. And to top everything I started my you-know-what right in the freaking _middle _of my study session with Henry.

Life sucks sometimes, you know?

Because I felt this ripping cramp tear through me and I probably looked like I was about to choke, since Henry said kinda awkwardly, "Hey, Katie… are you okay?"

I hate being a girl sometimes, but it's better than being a boy.

I let my head fall back, my hair fanning out on the cushy pillow. I loved the hotel suite. It was big but not uncomfortably so, with a Jacuzzi in the bathtub! Yes, Hollywood!

Henry was so… perfect. Not just physically, in that primal way we teenagers have of looking only at the guy's appearance, but as a friend. He made me laugh and he always caught me when I fell- literally.

I wanted to tell you, you looked so beautiful 

_As the snow danced off your eyes._

He'd worn just a t-shirt and jeans. We'd met downstairs in the lobby with our scripts after I'd slept off a few hours of my jet lag. It was sunny outside, and the palm trees were waving in the breeze. Hello, California.

We'd gone over lines, and had gotten some strange looks from the other hotel patrons when we said things like, "Will you stay with me?" and that whole conversation about sex that Edward and Bella kind of feel their way around- ew, that sounded wrong. I blushed whenever they looked our way, but Henry just laughed.

We had begun to acquire an audience when Henry suggested we move somewhere less noisy; a bunch of drunks had just come in, wiggling their eyebrows at the girls in what they probably thought was a sexy way. Henry protectively took my arm and we rode the chromed elevator up to his room.

I liked it up there, in privacy, much better. He got us some snacks and we had a sort-of slumber party, except I went back to my own rooms to sleep. After we felt comfortable with our lines we just talked.

I know that you want someone else so it's not right I know that it's not me you think of late at night 

He had a girlfriend over in Europe, he informed me- Megan. She was a Spanish model. They'd been going out for a few weeks now. I'd hastily tucked that tidbit away into the back of my mind, and now it was coming for me, and I couldn't sleep.

It would be illegal for me to date him. He was nearly ten years older than me! I know that later in life, that sometimes can happen, but right now it just can't. I'd told myself that millions of times on the way here.

Then why did it hurt so much to see a picture of Henry and Megan sunbathing on a Barcelonan beach together?

I wished I had the nerve to talk to him about something that personal. We were close now, but we hadn't known each other that long. And he traveled all over the place, he was halfway famous already, he was practically perfect. I shouldn't even bother fantasizing.

But if I had the chance, you know I'd tell you 

_Everything I think._

At least I might get to be close to him one final time tomorrow, in the screen test. I hoped we'd get paired together; hadn't we impressed the directors way back when?

I made a rash decision: if I didn't get Bella, which I probably wouldn't, I'd tell Henry everything I was thinking right now. Everything. Well… I might edit it a _little_.

I wondered how it would feel, to hear "I love you" come from his mouth. Everything would pale in comparison. And those lips…

Which he kissed Megan with, I reminded myself, bringing me back down to earth. It wasn't going to happen. I had to accept that. And just being friends with him was still unbelievably great.

But still… I knew without really knowing I'd wait on him for a long time. He was one of those guys you'd still have a baby crush on when you were eighty and had twelve grandchildren. You can't really help it.

SC

SC

_Don't say anything if you don't want to hear it back from me._

_Don't make promises you know you'll never keep._

I woke up to a knock on the door the next morning.

"Katie?" I heard Henry call. "The auditions are in fifteen minutes!"

I instantly glared at the alarm clock, cursed, and got up to let Henry in. "I swear I set it," I said frantically, gesturing towards the clock.

He frowned and fiddled with it for a second while I grabbed clothes out of a drawer, not caring what they were. Then he chuckled dryly. "Hon, it might be helpful to set the clock to six a.m. instead of six p.m."

I froze for a second. "Oops…" I muttered, abashed. So that was what the little red dots meant. My alarm clock at home wasn't that complicated…

He stood and gently took the clothes from me. "It might also be good to wear clothes," he said with a sweet smile. I stared at the materials in his arms: towels. My mom, who was still asleep, had insisted on bringing our own towels.

This was not going to be a good day.

"Thanks," I said quietly, embarrassed, and then reached for a different drawer. It was empty, and a stomach-sinking realization hit me like a truck.

Oh crap oh crap oh CRAP!

"Henry," I whispered, feeling like I was about to cry, "my mom forgot to pick up our clothes from the laundry. Right before we left I spilled Coke on my suitcase and it drenched through and my clothes were all brown so she took them to get washed last night and she didn't pick them up so I don't have any other clothes."

I stared at him wide-eyed as he tried to make sense of my rushed words.

"Oh," he said finally, his own eyes getting huge. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"Where's the laundry?"

"Down on the Fifth Street," I said, hanging my head. The complete opposite side of town from where we were going.

"Will any of your mom's clothes fit you?" he asked, panicking now too.

"No." They'd all fall off me. I was way shorter and skinnier than my mom.

"And I'm guessing none of my stuff would fit you either," he said with that darn _smile._ He should win an award for it. I shook my head. Wait… had he just seriously considered loaning me some of his own clothes?! Damn, this guy was hot.

"Then go in that," he said, indicating my holey pajama shirt and plaid pants. "You're supposed to be Bella at nighttime, right? You can pretend you're in costume."

"Henry, I cannot show up at a movie audition wearing pajamas," I said desperately, and I tried not to tear up. He saw it, though, and oh so carefully reached and wiped away the only tear that had yet escaped me.

_I'm sorry that I'm such a mess, I've been let down again._

_Well, I need for you to help me out- I think that you should let me win._

"Yes, you can and you will," he said firmly. "They'll see it as being in character. As long as you act like you did at the last audition, you'll be fine." I shook my head mutely- I was in Hollywood, and he expected me to wear pajamas. He sighed and gave me a big, rib-rattling hug. "Come on, we'll be late!"

I grimaced. "You really think they'll see it as being in character?"

"Definitely," he said, and I forced a smile.

"On with the show, then," I muttered, and quickly ran a brush through my hair and over my teeth, and I took care of female business.

And then, with no makeup, no real clothes, and no confidence, we were in Henry's SUV and headed towards what could possibly be the biggest day of my life so far.

_Well lately it seems everything I need,  
Comes so easily to everyone other than me. _

Henry, on the other hand, looked as great as usual. Why did everything seem to just happen with him, like nothing bad would ever happen in his life? I knew that wasn't true, but that's how it seemed.

He noticed my nervousness and tried to start a conversation. "Did you remember

to get all your things?" he asked, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I checked his speedometer; unlike Edward, he was a careful driver. Good.

"Yeah, I packed last night," I said. Thank God. Otherwise I surely would've forgotten something in this morning's rush; let's not mention that I forgot clothes already, kay? "I think I remembered everything."

"Good," he said with a smile. "Nervous?"

"A little," I admitted. "It gets somewhat better every time I do this. I don't think

I'll ever be completely cured, though."

"You won't," he said with a laugh, and his cell phone rang. I looked out my window, wondering who it was.

"Hello?… oh, hey, sweetheart. How's Paris?"

I flinched. It must be that Megan girl. If Henry said anything really mushy I was

officially jumping out of the car and walking the remaining three blocks. Henry talked to his girlfriend the entire time we were driving, as he found a parking space (nearly impossible, even for Henry Cavill) and when we got out and he locked the door.

So yeah, I was feeling pretty ignored right here.

_I wanted this so bad and did you even notice it,  
500 miles from home and I feel alone._

I wished with a pang I'd asked my mom to come with me.

But I hadn't, so I'd just have to be a big kid and deal.

Henry finally hung up, and I tried not to hear him say "I love you too." Awkward.

"Sorry about that," he said apologetically, and generously took my small bag from me. "Megan's having some trouble with one of the designers she's working with."

I tried smiling, but it felt more like a grimace. This was not like me. I am not and have never been the jealous type. Megan was probably really, really nice, anyway. She probably deserved Henry.

If anyone did.

"So, getting back to our conversation before," he said, not noticing my silence, "don't worry about being nervous. I'll take care of you." He flashed a white smile in my direction and my heart stuttered.

"Promise?" I said playfully, trying not to let his words affect me.

He stared at me for a second, serious. "Yeah. I promise."

_Don't say anything if you don't want to hear it back from me._

_**Don't make promises you know you'll never keep.**_

We entered the glass doors and Henry guided me to the desk up front. "We're here for the Twilight auditions," he said, and I watched him dazzle the attendant to the point where she didn't notice how completely unfit for an audition I looked.

"Third floor, directly to your left from the elevator," she said, dazed, and Henry gave her another warm grin before taking my hand in a brotherly way and pressing the button for the third floor.

(Upstairs, while Katie and Henry are on the elevator…)

Pam Batchelder froze the screen. "See? They even came in together. I love it."

Simon Ride shook his head. "Pam, I've told you over and over again. That girl may be good with this one guy, but that doesn't mean she's a great Bella. It just means the two of them have charisma. Cavill I agree is a candidate, but Miller… I don't know. She's a little too wide-eyed and innocent for me."

"Give her time," Pam pressed. "Give her a chance. See how she does today before closing the book on her."

Simon raised his eyebrows. "Did you notice she's in pajamas?"

(Back with Katie and Henry)

I heard a dim ringing, and looked expectantly at Henry. "Must be Megan again," I said, and he frowned, checking his phone.

"It's not mine," he said, raising his eyebrows at me.

I hastily dug for my phone- what were the chances I'd have the same ringtone as Henry?- and flipped it open. I didn't use my cell phone much, so it was weird to hear it ringing. "Um. Hello?"

"Katie, it's me," my mom said, and I heard her sniffle.

"Mom, are you okay?" I asked. The elevator pinged and we went into the hallway. Henry and I waited out there until my conversation was finished.

"It's… it's Gran," my mom said. "She had a heart attack. They don't know if she's going to make it."

I sat down on the carpet, unable to breathe. "Oh my God," I whispered, and Henry knelt next to me, worried. I worried him a lot.

_I'm sorry that I'm such a mess, I've been let down again._

_Well I need for you to help me out_

_I think that you should let me win._

"Mom…" I said, trying to get my thoughts together. "What are we going to do?"

I heard her sniffle again. "This audition is important to both you and your grandmother. I don't think she'd want you to miss it. But I want to fly home- there's a flight going out in an hour."

"Mom, what am I supposed to do, just stay in the room by myself?" I asked desperately, and I felt an increasing surge of disappointment- because I knew what I'd end up doing. "Look, I'll just go home with you," I said. "Come pick me up, okay? All my stuff's still in the suitcase." It physically hurt to force the words out. Leaving this audition would mean giving up, and only now did I realize that I'd let myself hope I might win Bella.

Henry shrank back from me, shocked. He mouthed, "_What_?" and I looked away from him. If I kept my eyes on his disappointed face, I'd start crying for the second time today.

My mom was silent for a second. "Honey, I appreciate you offering. It means a lot. But Gran's really proud of you for making it this far: she loves the Golden Globes. She wants to see you up there accepting one one day. So… I'll run down to the ATM and get some money, and I'll leave it in the safety deposit box. You remember the combination?"

"Yeah," I murmured. It was easy: 5-13-55.

"Okay. I'll see you in a few days, then. I'm trusting you to be a grown up, all right? Stay inside as much as you can. If you need to go out, try to get that Henry to go with you. I'll feel better."

"I will," I said, and my heart thudded. I'd be able to stay? "Tell Gran I'll be there soon."

"I love you," my mom said, and I felt the magnitude of what we'd just agreed on settling over me. She was trusting me to stay in one of the most populated cities in the U.S. alone for days. That was a little scary.

"I love you, too," I said, and heard a click. My mom was gone.

Henry was watching me inscrutably. "You're going home? Why?" He asked, stricken.

"I'm not," I said, and he exhaled in relief, giving me a hand to help me up. "My grandmother's in the hospital, and my mom's going back home to take care of her."

We walked slowly to the first door on the left. "She must trust you a lot," Henry said, smiling at me gently.

"Yeah," I agreed, and we went inside, my mind troubled.

SC

SC

I cleared my throat nervously as I was thoroughly make-upped. I was the first potential Bella ready- I didn't need any costume changes, and I still had the remnants of my bed head. Henry saw me waiting on an Edward and hurried to get ready, helping the attendants finish. I really, really hoped we were put together. I didn't want to have to cozy up to some guy I'd never seen before in my life. I would if I had to, but I'd prefer Henry.

Obviously. Wouldn't you?

Anyway, I composed myself and sat quietly, observing, until Henry was done and he was paired with me. He gave me a high five.

"We'll rock their socks," I said with a quavering laugh. He heard the shakiness of my voice and patted my leg- not in a suggestive way, but in that brotherly, I'm-there-for-you way. Unfortunately.

"Of course we will," he said reassuringly.

In front of us was a makeshift set- a twin bed with a cardboard wall behind it designed to look like the back of Bella's room. Well, there probably wasn't a point in making it look real, I guessed, but I'd been expecting something less shabby.

There were about twenty Bellas in the room, most of them with full lush lips and big brown eyes. I wished I'd had time to use that lip plumper I'd bought the week before, and for the first time I really hated my celery green, almond-shaped eyes.

"So how many of these audition do you think they'll have?" I asked. I wondered how many Bellas were still in circulation.

Henry grinned impishly. "This is it."

I swallowed a lump in my throat as I saw a beautiful girl who looked suspiciously (I was too afraid to ask) like Emily Browning smile at Simon Ride, showing full white teeth. I ran my tongue over my own teeth uncomfortably, wishing I'd had more time this morning, period.

"First up," they said finally, "Emily Browning and Seth Svensen." Whoa, could they pronounce that last name again?

Yes, I am pointedly ignoring the fact that I am going up against the bigshots now. Somehow I didn't think that would help my (nonexistent) confidence anyway.

Emily was good. Extremely, terrifyingly good. And she was so dang pretty. Henry saw my rapidly paling face and reached over to squeeze my hand. "You'll be better," he muttered, and I attempted a smile, but I had a feeling it didn't work.

She and Seth (who was pretty good, but no Henry) walked off the stage and I started to clap. Henry shot me this 'Um… Katie?" look that stopped my hands in mid-clap. Oops. I was just being polite. I guess I'm in the Land of the Cutthroats now.

"Second," read Simon, "Henry Cavill and Katie Moore."

My ears were bright red. "Miller," I whispered as I stood, and he shrugged. Apparently it didn't matter. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Simon.

This scene started after Bella raced downstairs with wet hair to say good night to Charlie, and comes back up to see Edward after her shower. My heart pounded as the cameras were fixed to our heights. Henry held my gaze, calming me, and I was finally able to relax. Up "onstage," with bright lights pouring on me, I couldn't see anything but Henry and the set.

I'd die happy if this was all I saw in the rest of my life.

"Lights, camera, action," said Pam, cutting the board, and the tape rolled.

Lights, camera, _heartbreak_, I thought, then banished the thought as I "entered" from the stair landing. Henry pretended to take special notice of my holey pajamas.

"Nice," he said, raising an eyebrow, and I grimaced, because this hot guy was seeing me in plaid poofy pants. "No, it looks good on you."

"Thanks," I whispered, and sat carefully cross-legged on the bed next to him, rustling the faded quilt gently. "Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out," I admitted with a low chuckle. The thought of sneaking out would be as unfathomable to me as to Bella. I'd probably fall and break my neck.

"Oh," Henry said, skeptical. "Why?"

I blushed naturally at the next line. "Apparently, I look a little… overexcited."

As scripted, Henry lifted my chin, and my heart stopped. I wanted a copy of this tape.

"You look very warm, actually," he said sincerely, and laid his cheek against mine. I was frozen. I'd known this would happen, but never had I realized it would feel so… good.

"It seems much easier for you to be close to me," I said, trying to remember how to breathe. Unlike Edward, Henry was very warm. It scared me, my reaction to this simple touch.

"Does it seem that way to you?" he murmured, and his nose glided to the corner of my jaw, touching his lips to the hollow of my ear. OH MY GOD, this was awesome. Why didn't all guys act like this?

We continued the scene, growing increasingly closer as I became more and more comfortable with the light caresses and unfamiliar, romantic words.

I had never felt so much like Bella. This boy was dazzling me, even if he wasn't a century-old vampire. I had to stop myself laughing when "Charlie" (Simon Ride) creaked open the "door". He was a terrible actor.

But then my amusement faded to amazement- because now I was lying next to Henry Cavill, his arms around me, and I made myself treasure every second, because it would probably never happen again.

_I know that you want someone else so it's not right._

_I know that it's not me you think of late at night._

_But if I had the chance you know I'd tell you_

_Everything I think._

The long conversations Bella and Edward had in the book were abbreviated, or summarized, in the script. The essence was still there, but they weren't quite as long-winded, and we arrived at that lovely mini-scene (the sex talk) before you'd expect it. Oh, joy, here goes.

And it wasn't that bad. I was entirely red throughout the conversation, and unlike Bella I didn't have any darkness to hide my expression, but it wasn't terrible. And a tingle went through me when Henry said one of his last lines, lightly mussing my hair as he did so:

"I may not be human, but I am a man."

Believe me, I've noticed.

I pretended to drift off to sleep as he hummed a makeshift lullaby in my ear, and I nearly cried when I realized the scene was over, and Henry sat up.

It was over.

Henry didn't say anything, just smiled warmly in that endearing way of his and helped me offstage, and I was shocked at my own blindness away from the lights. We sat and he gave me a little hug. "Great job," he said, and I said the same to him, and we sat and waited for the others to finish.

On every star I saw from then on I wished that Henry was younger, or I was older, or that he at least would see me the way I saw him. I wished he would give in and let me win.

_Don't say anything if you don't want to hear it back from me._

_Don't make promises you know you'll never keep._

_I'm sorry that I'm such a mess, I've been let down again._

_Well I need you to help me out_

_I think that you should let me win._

_Let me win_

_Let me win._

**AN: That is the LONGEST chapter I've ever written, guys. I was going to cut it off, but I promised the bedroom scene, and there it is. And isn't that the coolest song EVER? I thought so. Reviews are also very cool. Betcha no one can guess the band…**


	7. My Two Best Friends: Ben and Jerry

**AN: Kay, I'm extremely happy. So the last chapter's song was by Time and Distance. They're local (performing here the 9th, whee!) so I was surprised and pleased to see how widespread they've become! Although I'm also slightly panicked, because now I've got to invent minor roles for 7 people. Crap. That's only if I counted right, too…**

**Although this lone user didn't send her desired name back to me: Pirate OWNS you. I will put you in the next chapter; just leave me a name in a review or message me with it.**

**Jen- 1stepbehind29**

**Chrysty- Laurent Forever**

**Anjelica- Thursday Pollum **

**Faith- the infamous L.C. Candle **

**Emilie- emilie whoa (I assume your name is Emilie. Correct me if I'm wrong XD) **

**Aly- alanna the knightess **

**Quote of the Chapter: Counting stars, wishing I was okay. Crashing down was my biggest mistake.**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Seven: My Two Best Friends: Ben and Jerry

My heart rate slowed as I walked out the glass doors.

I sat glumly on the bench outside, waiting for Henry. The directors had asked to see him after the audition session was over. The other participants walked past me; Emily Browning had her own spotless limo.

Jealousy. I'd never really been _jealous _of anyone before, to the point where I'd fight them to get what I wanted. But Megan, Henry's girlfriend… Emily Browning… I was fully jealous of them. They had the kind of glamour that, if I had it, maybe Henry would notice me.

_And maybe he wouldn't_, I thought dryly. _Maybe he'd just see me as another diva_.

My phone buzzed, my pocket vibrating. I loved that feel; it was so strange and funny.

I pulled out my phone for the second time that day and stared at the ID. _Henry. _"Hello?"

"Hey," he said, and my stupid heart gave a squeeze. It definitely wasn't helping matters. "Listen, I hate to do this, but Simon and Pam need me for a while. Would you be okay catching a taxi back to the hotel?"

"I don't mind," I said dully, and that telltale heart of mine sank back into non-caring. "But I don't have enough money with me."

"Don't worry, I thought of that. Look inside." I saw an young woman waving impatiently at me. "I've got it covered. Remember what I said? I'll take care of you." I waited, and yep- here we went again, the heart roller-coaster ride.

"Thanks," I said, trying to infuse some real gratitude into my voice.

I heard him chuckle lowly. "You should get the cabbie to run you by the Laundromat."

I smiled. "Yeah, I think I will. These pajama pants are looking a little the worse for the wear."

"I'm sorry, again, to leave you in the lurch; I just…" he trailed off.

"Yeah, I know," I said. "Thanks, and don't worry about it."

The phone clicked off and I stared at it for a long moment wistfully. I'd been hoping we would go get lunch together.

_Why would we_? I asked mentally, angry at myself. _Unlike you he has a life._

The irritated lady from indoors finally came outside after me. "Mr. Cavill wants me to give you this," she said, thrusting a small wad of bills in my direction. I brushed her aside.

"It's okay. Tell him thank you but no thanks," I said. I didn't want charity; the hotel wasn't that far away. I could walk. I didn't need Henry's money. The assistant looked at me dubiously and I read her name tag- Jen.

"Well…" she said, probably thinking about the hassle of getting it back to him. I waved away her still-open hand.

"I'm fine," I said brusquely, and picked up my stuff to start walking. My phone buzzed again. _What is this, Grand Central Station? _I was tempted to let it ring, but then became worried that it might be my mom with news about Gran. So with a wave to Jen I picked up my phone as I walked.

"Go back to the building and take a cab home," Henry said, and I heard faint amusement in his voice. "Blisters on your feet are not going to help anything. You're not wearing the right shoes."

"I'll live," I said curtly and heard him laugh dryly.

"Katie," he said smoothly, and I couldn't help loving the way his accent rolled over my name. No! I had to be strong! "Please? Go back and get a taxi. If it makes you feel better you can pay me back."

"Nah, it's a nice day for walking."

"Liar." He sighed, and despite my will I found myself slowing as I started to sweat. Why did LA have to be so dang humid? And I hadn't gone very far. "Katie," he said again. "Will you do me a favor and get a taxi, or do I have to come down and drag you into one?"

I'd really prefer him dragging me somewhere, but it sure wasn't into a taxi, ahaha. Okay. Best to stop that train of thought.

I saw a yellow cab pull up at the curb. "How convenient," I muttered, and he laughed again.

"What can I say? You're predictable. I took the liberty of calling a cab for you. Now, would you want to waste all my effort?" I could picture his eyes smoldering at me over the phone. Damn, he was so… _Edward_.

"What effort?" I tried. "Punching in keys on your phone and talking?"

He'd won, though, and he knew it. "I'll see you back at the hotel, and you'd better not have any blisters," he threatened, and hung up. I grinned insolently- that meant he'd have to _check _for blisters. Maybe I'd better clean off that old toenail polish before he got there…

Once again, it was best to stop that train of thought.

Jen was still waiting on me, looking thoroughly fed up. "I changed my mind," I told her brightly, and she shoved the bills into my hands and stalked off inside- probably to redo her makeup. Wouldn't want to mess that up by standing in the heat too long, I thought sarcastically.

I opened the taxi door in defeat and sat in the back seat. I hated cabs- they always smelled kind of funny. And ew… there was some kind of weird stain on my seat…

I didn't see Henry watching me climb into the taxi from the window upstairs.

"Where to?" The driver asked. When she turned to face me with a smile, I saw her appraise me. A keychain hanging from above her head read _Chrysty. _

I told her the Laundromat address, then my hotel address, and we made both stops. Holding armfuls of clothes, I paid Chrysty, giving her a big tip. She'd been nice; she'd asked me where I was from and everything.

I walked into the lobby of the hotel, wondering if Henry had made it back before me. I headed up to my room, suddenly feeling very lonely. My mom had torn through our room like a hurricane, leaving my things everywhere in her haste to be gone and to make sure I had everything I needed.

I sat slowly on my bed, contemplating my next move. I could order a movie, room service, the works, and go on a self-pity binge; or, I could try to do something productive.

Yeah, I chose the self-pity binge. What, were you thinking I had morals for a second?

I called down and placed an order for just about everything that was chocolate, a pint of Ben and Jerry's, some Cheetos, and slushies. If I couldn't be naturally happy I'd just down a bunch of sugar.

I scanned the pay-per-view movie choices. Ew. That was a really gross movie… too chick flicky… too violent… aha. An old favorite.

_A Walk to Remember._

I liked this movie more than I'd liked _The Notebook_, although the latter was more popular. Maybe because _A Walk to Remember_ was so sad, but so beautiful. It wasn't all about lust and physical attraction. As a matter of fact it was the opposite.

I was bawling my eyes out when I heard a knock on the door. I smiled, exposing chocolate-coated teeth, and wiped my cheesy fingers on my pants, then got up to answer the door, hitting pause on the movie. It must be that missing pack of Double Stuf Oreos.

I unlocked the door and swung it open, then instantly regretted it. Henry was staring at me with raised eyebrows, looking like he'd just won the lottery. When I straightened my arm to beckon him in embarrassedly a Cheeto fell off, and I blushed bright red.

"So," Henry said, trying to be serious. "Glad you made it back okay."

I set down my pint of B&J's on the coffee table and he followed me inside. I grabbed the money I'd prepared and handed it to him without a word.

His face paled a little. "Katie, I was just joking. I don't want you to pay me back; it was my fault you got stranded there in the first place."

I shrugged, afraid to open my mouth for fear that he'd see my extremely icky teeth. "Just take it," I said quietly, and crossed my arms. He watched me, expression unreadable, then he frowned.

"Compromise," he said finally, and divided the money in half. I nodded, knowing that was the best I could expect out of him. Stubborn movie star. "Katie? What's wrong?"

I set my jaw. "I'm fine. Just dandy."

He indicated me. "You don't look good, kid. You look like you're crashing on me."

I scowled. Did he seriously just call me _kid_? That did it. "I'm having girl time," I said firmly, and my insides twinged a little. Why was I being mean to him?

Oh yeah. Because we were both better off that way. We belonged in different leagues.

Henry grinned at me, forcedly I thought. "I can be a girl if I really try," he said, attempting to make me laugh. Dammit. How did he _do_ that to me? "But let's keep that our secret."

I felt a smile stretching across my traitor face. Henry smiled wider in reply, seeming encouraged. His eyes flitted over to the screen. "What're you watching?" he asked, lightly sitting down on my couch- uninvited. God, how I love this guy.

"_A Walk to Remember_," I admitted ruefully, scuffing my toe against the carpet. This was… embarrassing.

"Never seen it, but I've heard of it," he said, and cocked an inquiring eyebrow at me. I gave in.

"Then you'd better stay and watch it," I sighed, sitting down as far away from him as the couch would allow.

I picked up my Ben & Jerry's again, digging with my spoon. He stared at me shrewdly, speculating. "I will find out what it is," he said suddenly. "What's wrong, I mean."

I ignored him and hit play as he grabbed his own spoon and wrestled the ice cream away from me.

Somehow I ended up sleeping against him by the time the movie was over for the second time, my head on his shoulder. I woke up late that evening and he had a protective arm around me, watching sports. Typical.

Then I fully woke up and realized that Henry Cavill's arm was around me. OH.

Henry smiled down at me. "Hey, kid," he said softly. "Feeling better?"

I stretched, careful not to disturb that arm. "Yeah," I said, and I was surprised to find that it was true.

It was also true that tomorrow was my last day in LA, if I didn't get another callback. It could potentially be my last day with Henry.

With that in mind the two of us made plans to go sightseeing like real tourists tomorrow, and Henry left my room after playing a game of checkers with me. What can I say? I suck at chess, but I'm ace at checkers.

The next morning I woke up to the hotel phone ringing- _at 7 a.m. _I moaned slightly and reached over to answer it.

"Did you get a call yet?" I heard him say, his voice unusually high and excited. I sat up wide-awake.

"You mean you got the part?" I asked in amazement, curling my toes against the sudden draft of cold air.

"Yeah! Didn't you?"

The realization of what he was saying hit me. "You're the first person who called me this morning," I said slowly. There was silence on the other end of the line.

"But Pam said they already called Bella," he whispered. "I'm supposed to go in for a reading this morning with her."

I faked a light laugh. "Told you I wouldn't get it," I said, while my bones turned to jelly and my world spun around.

"Katie, you _had _to get it, you were the best one there!"

"You may be a little biased," I reminded him wryly, although I felt like the world was coming to an end. "Listen, go ahead and get ready for that reading, and tell me how it goes."

"But we're supposed to go see LA this morning," Henry said, sounding almost sad.

"Change of plans. It happens," I said cheerfully. "Do a good job, all right?"

"Yeah… Katie… I don't know what to say. I always assumed that if I got the part we'd be together in it."

_Yeah_, I wanted to say, _me too. _But instead I said quickly, trying to fight the choking bile in my throat, "Like I said. Don't worry, and have fun. Okay?"

"Yeah," he murmured, and there was an awkward silence for a second before we said goodbye.

**AN: So, I didn't get many chars in here this chapter. Faith, Emilie, Anjelica, and Aly will be in there soon. See, I was trying to fit everyone in here, but it wasn't really a character: it was more, _Her name was Aly, _end, stuff like that. So in the attempt to give everyone a LITTLE bit of personality I'm holding some until the next chapter. Thanks for reading, everybody!**

**And fyi: if all you readers murder me you won't find out what happens. HAHA…**


	8. Crash and Burn

**AN: Woot. Obviously I'm still alive, which means you like me… or you just wanted another chapter. I think the latter XD. Thanks to emilie whoa for giving me an absolutely brilliant idea with which I can use all those people. Reminder, those people are:**

**Caroline- Canoeing Cutie**

**Anjelica- Thursday Pollum **

**Faith- L.C. Candle **

**Emilie- emile whoa **

**Aly- alanna the knightess **

**Donyel- pirates OWNS you **

**Guys, DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE if I use you in a…weird… way. I was getting desperate for ideas on some of them. Lol. For example, we have an exotic dancer and a crazy HC fangirl. I'll have fun with that, and just don't take it personally, alrighty? **

**Quote of the Chapter: Look to the stars, let hope grow in your eyes. And we'll love, and we'll hate, and we'll die- all to no avail.**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Eight: Crash and Burn

Right as I sank back into the cushy mattress, the phone rang again. My heart leaped. Maybe it had all been a misunderstanding after all.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly, grabbing my pillow and squeezing it with both arms.

"Hello. This is Caroline from the hotel service. We regret to tell you that from now on, continental breakfast will only be served from six to eight-thirty a.m. We are sorry for the inconvenience."

Her nasal voice didn't help my rapidly growing headache. "Yeah, yeah," I muttered. "No problem."

I started to hang up but heard her say suddenly, "We have a new package available, if you're interested. A week-long presidential suite complete with spa privileges and gym access, for only $3,000 per stay!" Her voice was falsely cheerful, as if she were saying the same thing for the thousandth time.

"That's okay," I said, "I don't think I'll be coming back, but thanks anyway."

Dammit. Sometimes life just sucked in general.

I stared emptily at the remnants of last night's binge. Cheetos were wedged into the couch and my mouth was crusty with the remains of chocolate. Had I really not brushed my teeth before I went to bed?… Wow, I was out of it.

I cleaned up myself and the living room grudgingly, for once not enjoying the hot spray of the water on me when I showered. This glamour wasn't meant for me, I thought sadly. It belonged with Henry, but not me.

At least I'd get to see how Gran was doing if I went home tomorrow. Mom had called yesterday, leaving me a message, letting me know that she was still in the hospital.

Once I'd finished cleaning I crossed my arms and stood in the center of the suite, trying desperately to think of something to distract myself.

Then something Caroline had said clicked: there was a gym. That ought to cause me pain; therefore it was a good idea, if masochistic. I might as well take advantage of my full-paid stay while I still could.

I changed into wrinkled pajama pants and a black ribbed tank top, putting my favorite light green jacket over me to cover any skin I might've showed. Grabbing my music in one hand and a bottle of water in the other, I took my time going down to the front desk, procrastinating. I took the stairs and nearly fell; go me. I arrived on the ground floor in one piece. I half-wished I'd fallen in a tragic accident so Henry would be forced to rush in and rescue me.

But nah. I'm not quite that in love with self-inflicted pain.

Caroline was still at the desk, looking bored. Hey, I would liven up her day! I was a good Samaritan. "Hi, Caroline," I said with a smile. She looked at me incredulously, eyebrow ring rising up on one side. I wished I could do the whole one-eyebrow thing.

"Hi?…" she said, stopping her typing on the computer. She was on AIM. Somehow I had a feeling she wasn't supposed to be doing that… but oh well. Whatever sinks your raft, I guess. (A/N: Isn't that the coolest twisted saying ever?)

"I need a key to the gym," I said hopefully. Please don't let this be complicated.

"You have to have a package for that," she said lazily, turning away from me. "Sorry."

"I have the package thingy," I said. She spun towards me.

"Room number?" She drawled, and I said 555 in a rush. I loved my room number. It was cool.

She finally coughed up a dorky-looking scan key on a lanyard. "I need this back before nine tonight," she said robotically.

"Believe me, I won't be in there that long," I admitted, grimacing.

The gym was pretty cool. Kinda small, but there weren't many other people in there, so that was fine by me. One of the old ladies, wearing a sweatband, teased me lightly when I said she got the best treadmill. "The early bird gets the worm," she said, panting heavily. (A/N: I was so utterly tempted to make this a char, but decided I preferred being nice for today)

"Yeah, but the second mouse gets the cheese," I countered under my breath. Sarcasm: it makes the world go round.

I reluctantly stepped onto the worn older treadmill, turning on my music. Mmm. I hadn't really listened to music in a while. I hadn't had time.

I added free time to my why-it's-a-good-thing-I-didn't-get-the-part list. So far that was a total of two pros. Man, I was just a big bright ball of optimism, wasn't I?

After an hour of speed-walking my legs burned and I considered stopping, then I checked the time. I still had time to kill before Henry even might be back. The thought that this was my last day with him made me grit my teeth and speed up the moving ground under me a few notches.

The pain felt good.

I increased my speed until I was practically running, trying to run my demons away. In the end my body couldn't take it anymore and my feet began to drag, and slip, and cause a screeching noise that made everyone else stop their music and look over at me.

I fell, taking the safety belt with me. Of course the conveyor belt stopped, but not before I'd hit my chin on the handrail and the ground and then found myself shot off the machine like a missile.

I thudded against the wall, muscles screaming at the sudden stop. I gasped, my head ringing, and a middle-aged man stopped his bike and ran over to me, kneeling down.

"Are you all right, honey?" He asked, face lined heavily with worry. I tried to nod, then winced. That _hurt._

A crowd of sweating people gathered around me, chattering. I wanted the noise to stop. I wanted to go home and have a burst of amnesia and pretend these last hopeful months had never happened.

I shut my eyes firmly to stop the involuntary tears falling out, caused by the physical pain. At least, I told myself it was only the physical pain.

"Katie?" I heard, and I squeezed my eyes closed tighter. Not now. This would only make it worse. "Oh, God, what happened? Is she okay?"

People stopped muttering amongst themselves and I opened my eyes reluctantly when I felt the light pressure of a warm hand on my forehead. Henry was studying me, panic fading, and everyone was staring at him.

"Come on," he said gently. "Let's get you upstairs, kid."

His eyes were inscrutable, full of some emotion I couldn't read. I sighed and declined his offer of a hand up, instead pushing up on my protesting knees and using the wall for support.

He put an arm around me, and I should've felt self-conscious, but I didn't. I just felt… numb. I was sweaty and pale and bruised and I hadn't brushed my hair or my teeth this morning. I was a mess. But I found that I didn't care.

That was odd, I registered dimly.

To my surprise we went past my room and to an unfamiliar one. "Where are we?" I asked, voice dead.

"My room," he said shortly. He stood in the doorway, waiting, after he unlocked the door. "Well, come in."

Awkward. I hesitantly stepped over the imaginary boundary, feeling a faint blush color my cheeks as feeling came back into me. Henry always managed to wake me up when I felt like I was dead.

He guided me to the couch. "Sit," he said in the same terse voice, and I obeyed. He sat across from me, and I saw that he looked… mad. "Do you want to tell me what that was about?" he asked, controlled, but I saw his eyes simmering. Oops…

I shrugged. "I just felt like walking and I was the usual clumsy me."

He glared at me. "Katie, this can be easy or this can be hard, but either way you're going to actually talk to me."

I flinched. "There's nothing to talk about, Henry."

His face softened suddenly, and he reached out imploringly. "Katie, is this about the part? Because I can assure you, I'd much rather you were Bella than Emily Browning."

_She _got it? Figures.

"That's not what it's about," I found myself saying, almost against my will. He was good. Playing good cop bad cop with me.

"Then what is it about?" he replied, leaning forward until we were almost touching.

I scowled and looked at my hands. No dazzling allowed, I told myself repeatedly. He couldn't dazzle me without eye contact.

"Katie? Katie, please look at me." His sweet breath blew in my face and I revised my statement helplessly. Okay, so he could dazzle me without eye contact.

Yeah, I looked at him. Wouldn't you? "Oh, all right," I muttered grumpily. "I'mworrriedI'llneverseeyouagainexceptonthebigscreenandI'llgohomeandenduplivinginadumpandworkingatMcDonald'swithseventeencatsandaparakeetnamedKitty."

He looked…confused. Yeah, that about described it, I thought smugly. "Um," he said cautiously, "What?"

I grinned, lighter all of a sudden. "Oh no you don't. I told you what was wrong. It's not my fault you didn't listen."

His mouth dropped open. "But… but…" he spluttered. "That's not fair!"

I laughed and reached over to manually shut his mouth, and touched his skin. A tingle ran through me…

No. Bad Katie. Must stop the raging hormones…

"Life isn't fair," I reminded him softly, eyes dancing.

He looked at me askance. "Do you have a multiple personality disorder?"

Hey… why did this sound like a conversation out of Twilight?

I sobered again. "Nah, at least I don't think so."

He frowned and tried to meet my eyes again. I stubbornly looked away; he reached over, grabbed my face in between his hands playfully, and said firmly, "Katie. You're crashing. You can't let the fact that Emily Browning managed to worm her way into your part kill you now. You're too strong for that. Don't crash on me."

Awww, great, I was crying now. "Thanks," I whispered, and he released me. "So how did the reading go?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

He shrugged. "I missed you," he said, as if it should be obvious. "It was just me, Emily, Pam, Simon, and Stephenie."

I lost my cool right there. "Stephenie _Meyer_?!" I yelped, my eyes widening.

He shook his head in amazement. "You're more disappointed that you missed meeting her than you were at not getting the part."

"Well, duh."

Henry merely chuckled. "Come on, squirt. I promised you a day of being annoying, camera-flashing tourists, and that's what you'll get."

"Oh no," I protested dramatically. "Anything but that!"

He grinned devilishly at me. "If I have to carry you kicking and screaming I will. You're not leaving without seeing LA."

Hmm. I wouldn't mind him carrying me, actually… NO. Bad, bad, bad. "All right," I said, trying to sound angry. "But I'd better get sugar out of this."

He pulled me up with one hand, and gave me a light hug. "Glad you're back," he said with a small smile, and then he gave me a sweeping look. "Don't tell me you're touring LA in that outfit."

I flushed and surveyed myself… the whole sweaty workout thing… then shrugged. "Why not?" I asked, not willing to lose a minute of my last day in Hollywood- then I laughed at his disbelieving expression and ran to my room to change and brush my hair.

SC (belongs originally to the author Myrah, denotes a scene change)

SC

SC

Um, whoa.

We were walking on a boulevard, sharing a messy funnel cake, when Henry suddenly turned beet red.

"What's up?" I asked, and he didn't answer, just sped up.

Beside us a girl waited in a…revealing…dancing outfit with bangles and dangling strings of sequins. I saw how embarrassed Henry looked, and had an idea.

I halted, walking up to the girl. "Hi, what's your name?" I asked conversationally, smiling at her. Henry hissed at me under his breath, probably considering moving on without me.

The girl's eyes flicked between me and Henry, then her sultry gaze rested on Henry. Naturally. "Anjelica," she said with the hint of an accent. Then, without any further prompting, she said simply, "I dance."

"So I see," I said, suppressing a chuckle at the mutiny on Henry's face. "Why don't you show us what you do? It sounds cool."

"_Katie_," Henry said behind me, looking like a very shmexy beet.

Anjelica hesitated, biting her full lip. "I charge," she said.

I pulled out a five, enjoying this moment. It was so worth the money to see Henry so embarrassed, trying not to look at Anjelica's skin. British prude… He was weird. Most guys would be, I don't know, being perverted or something.

Henry grabbed my arm and pulled me away. "Keep the change," I called over my shoulder, grinning. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Henry gave me a halfhearted scowl and I smiled brightly up at him. "She was nice," I commented. "Don't you think so?"

"Uh huh," he muttered.

I stopped and stared at him in shock. "Henry Cavill, you are a pervert! I'm sure she thought you were _nice _too…" Looking at his dumbfounded expression, I had to break and laugh at him. "Come on, I'm just teasing you. You should've seen your face…"

He cuffed me lightly, and I pretended it hurt. I was distracted by his sudden responding smile and walked into a gutter; my foot got caught in between two metal bars, and I saw the ground rushing up to meet me.

Yeah, of course he caught me, but barely; he stood there for a second, then grasped my arm and tugged me up towards him. I collided with his chest, my momentum carrying me too far, and he coughed.

"Oops," I said, blushing. "Are we even now? I'm a klutz and you're a perv?"

He considered, tapping his foot. "I'll think about it."

SC  
SC  
SC

By the time dusk started to fall, my legs were worn out but I was contented. We'd been around to all the big things in LA- at least, as much as we could in a day. I clutched my photo reel with me and Henry (you know, you go in that booth and make funny faces, and you get a strip of photos). This was priceless; this was worth the heartbreak, this one day.

I thought we were finished, but no. Henry pulled out his lovely touristy map and scanned it, then put it back in his wallet. I saw a picture fall out, and I leaned down to pick it up, my back protesting.

It was a beautiful, perfect shot of two beautiful, perfect people. Henry was lying on a beach somewhere, shirtless, with a girl I assumed had to be Megan. There was a sunset behind them (cheesy, but still amazing) and they were smiling. Megan was so pretty it made my heart ache. White teeth, honey-colored skin, shiny dark hair, and big brown eyes that caught the dim twilight.

They looked so _good_ together.

"Hey," Henry said, poking me. "Katie… Katie? Earth to Katie." I snapped out of my stupor and blinked twice, handing the picture back to him.

"Is that Megan?" I asked, trying to smile.

He nodded, and we started walking again. "How old is she?" I asked, desperate to fill the strangely awkward silence between us.

"Nineteen," Henry said, looking surprised. "She's working part time modeling, and going to college in Barcelona the other half of the time."

"Do you miss her?" I said, attempting to pretend it was an innocent question.

He smiled sadly. "Yes." He brightened. "You really ought to meet her. You guys would get along really well, I think."

A lump formed in my throat. "Yeah," I whispered. "I'd like that."

Henry suddenly stopped, putting his hand on my elbow, and listened. "Stay here," he said quietly, and walked off in the direction of a dark alley. Yeah, right. I'm not letting him out of my sight.

Now that I was paying attention, I heard a faint crying sound, and my stomach squeezed as I ran to catch up with Henry. His lips tightened when he saw me behind him, but he didn't tell me to go away.

We stood in the mouth of the alley, letting our eyes adjust to the dimmer light. A small girl was sitting against the wall, her shoulders shaking, her arms around her knees. She looked up at us fearfully as we moved closer. Henry crouched down to her level.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" he asked softly, and the girl's face grew hopeful.

"My mom told me not to go away," she said in a choked voice. I wondered how long she'd been here. "But I saw this guy with a monkey, and I wanted to see it, so I followed him, and then he was gone and I couldn't see him anymore and I dunno where my mom is…"

Henry hushed her. "What's your name? I'm Henry," he said, smiling.

"Aly," she answered, tugging at her little skirt.

"Well, Aly," he said, "let's find your mom, okay? I bet she's really worried."

Aly stood up, her tears stopping, and she smiled. She had the smile of an angel. "Thanks," she said, and took Henry's big hand in hers. He swung it a little and she giggled.

My breath caught as I watched him reassure her. God, he was beautiful. He was a different kind of angel. There were innocent little girls, and then there were people like Henry.

"What's your name?" Aly asked me brightly, taking my hand in her other, skipping in the middle of me and Henry happily. Little kids… all their worries, all their crying and pain, could stop so fast. They had it so simple. Things were either good or bad, never in between, never bittersweet.

"I'm Katie," I said, and she squeezed my hand tightly.

"I'm Aly," she said importantly. "I'm five, and I know how to spell my name."

I pretended to be amazed. "You're joking!" She shook her head from side to side furiously. "Wow, you're smart. That's hard to learn."

Henry winked at me, and Aly continued skipping in between us, oblivious.

The police station was just around the corner, and we walked in a bit nervously. Alice gave a little cheer and ran into the arms of a puffy-eyed woman.

Henry waved to Aly's mom silently, and then we turned in unison and left. We had no place in that reunion. Besides, the mother would try to give us a reward or something, and we didn't want that.

"You're good with kids, you know," Henry said, in a peculiar tone.

"You're not so bad yourself," I said. Hey, we're both good with kids. Mmm… why don't we- no. Stop. Bad, bad Katie.

"Where are we going?" I finally asked, checking the time on my cell phone- it was already eight in the evening. My flight left in early in the morning. I was glad I'd already packed.

He smiled mysteriously, making my heart flutter. "You'll see."

"I hate surprises," I muttered under my breath, and he shrugged.

"Too bad."

We continued walking, my legs completely on fire. After my little incident in the gym today, and all this walking from place to place, I kind of wished we could go back to the hotel and kick up our feet.

I heard the buzz of a loud bass and Henry steered me toward it. I shrank back, despite his efforts to keep me going. "Henry, that's a _club_," I said in disbelief. "I'm sort of totally underage."

The look in his eyes when he grinned gave me a strange, squirmy feeling. "They don't have to know that."

He walked right up to the bouncer. "Hi, Donyel," he said by way of greeting. I guess he comes here a lot. "How's it going?"

Donyel had an eyebrow ring and heavy eyeliner. She looked like one of those sarcastic punk types. "Hey, Henry," she said lazily, twirling her ballpoint pen in the air. "I'm good. You?"

"Great," he said. "Is it okay if we go on in?"

She gave me a critical glance. "How old's the girl?" Hey. I am not an object.

"Twenty-one," Henry said innocently, eyes big and sweet.

Donyel surveyed me again. "Really."

I smiled from the corners of my mouth and she thought for a second, then rolled her eyes and pulled the rope over. "Whatever. Just don't sue me if her parents kill you."

I hung back a little as Henry led us in. If I'd known we'd go clubbing, I would've dressed in a little more… cool… clothes. Not just jeans and a band T-shirt.

Henry turned around and smiled at me. "There's someone I want you to meet," he shouted over the blaring rock music. "Just follow me, all right?"

I decided not to bother screaming back, just nodded, and he grabbed my hand and pulled me through the moshing crowd (not an easy task. I think that- OW, that HURT- I'm going to have bruises tomorrow).

All of a sudden we were assaulted by a slightly tipsy blonde girl. "OMCCC," she slurred loudly, clutching at Henry's arm. (This would be Faith/L.C. Candle). "You're so Henry Ca-cavill," she said, stuttering on his last name, then giggling insanely. "You're like hot. You do know that right?"

Henry was beet red for the second time today. "Um…" he said cautiously, trying to think of something to say. "Thank you?"

She grinned at him, leering, then collapsed. "Someone had too much to drink," I muttered to myself, and Henry wordlessly tugged me over to the bar side of the club. There just weren't words for something like that.

"Hey," A girl called from the bar, swinging around to look at us. "Over here!"

Henry relaxed, motioning for me to go over there and letting go of me. Dangit.

"Katie, this is Emilie," Henry said; thankfully, the music was less loud over here. "Emilie, this is Kate. Emilie's my cousin."

Emilie gave me an offhand wave, legs crossing on her stool. My eyes goggled. "Wait… are those rolly stools?" I asked in amazement. I kid you not, the bar had _rolling stools_.

Henry sat next to Emilie, looking at me uncertainly. "Uh… yeah," he said slowly, and my day just became perfect.

I loved anything that rolled.

I giggled (which I rarely do) and hopped up on one. Unfortunately I was so short that I had to try twice before I could get my butt on the seat. I grabbed the counter and spun around happily.

Emilie was giving me a strange look. "Henry," I heard her mutter, "how drunk is she?"

Henry laughed. "She's not. This is just Katie."

"Oh," she said, a little scared.

I spun around and around, gasping for breath, then finally let myself stop. Henry watched me. "Katie, you're weird," he said honestly.

I pouted, crossing my arms. "If you say so."

He grinned and leaned over to give me a hug. Score. "That's okay," he chuckled. "It's a good kind of weird."

"Thanks, I think," I said, then stared at him, an idea dawning on me. "You should try it. It's awesome!"

Henry shook his head. "I don't think so…"

I frowned petulantly. I felt like I was on a high. Maybe I was just delirious from the adrenaline that ran through me at the sight of his amazed grin. "Whatsa matter?" I asked, poking him over and over. Now _he _looked scared. "Is the big hot movie star afraid to look like an idiot?"

His eyes narrowed and he sighed. _Such a martyr_, I thought sarcastically. "Fine," he said. My jaw dropped.

Emilie, who'd been watching our exchange in disbelief, pulled out a camera. Henry tried to knock it away and she stuck out her tongue at him. "This is too good," she said with a loud laugh.

Henry Cavill spun around like an idiot for forty seconds with me, and it was the best spinning I've ever experienced.

After we finished, panting, Emilie pressed stop and then raised her eyebrows, playing it back. "This is so going up on YouTube," she said.

**AN: Pretty much pointless fluff… but I got all my chars in. And it was LONG, even if a bit rushed. As in nine-pages-on-Word long. Ahaha. And in response to someone's theory: no. Henry is not a vampire. Although that would definitely be cool. XD Thanks for reading, everyone!**

**P.S. You still can't kill me. Hint: I'm a complete sap. There's going to be a happy ending, but it won't be for a while. We've got to get through the tragic angst first! DUH! By the way… any anonymous authors of Twilight out there, speak up!! –shmile-**


	9. The Power To Break You

**AN: Almost to the 300-review mark, folks. XD Thanks! And no, sorry, but that video won't be on YouTube anytime soon. If I ever meet Henry Cavill I'll be sure to ask him to make one just for us, but in the meantime… isn't the thought funny enough? Lol.**

**Quote of the Chapter: I'll call you when I make it into town, because I don't want you waiting up on me. Road signs and rock songs, it's caused a longing to go home when this California desert's all I see.**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Nine: The Power to Break You

Four o'clock in the morning, and I was standing outside my terminal, alone- wishing I _wasn't_ alone. Henry was due for some kind of podcast with the Lexicon today, and I wanted him to impress everyone. It was important that all those beautiful people up there didn't mutiny and boycott the movie. It was more important than my feelings. If Henry was only half-awake, they'd be on him like a pack of wolves. At least, that's what I told myself.

So I'd told him that my plane left at seven. I'd call the hotel and leave a message for him once I was away. I knew he would've insisted on driving me, waiting with me, seeing me off, and it was better to not do that. Being in L.A. this past week was… unbelievable. It was perfect and unreal. Exactly that: unreal. It was time to get back to reality.

The reality of a very angry best friend at home, sick and tired of being blown off. The reality of homework and summer jobs and fights with boyfriends, arguments with Mom about chores and rolling my eyes at my dad. That was where I needed to be, not here. I hoped Henry would understand that.

Secretly, I was glad Emilie had promised to upload that video onto YouTube. It was living proof that I'd known Henry Cavill.

I checked my watch impatiently, and the security guard eyed me suspiciously; I'd been loitering around the terminal edge for the last half hour. I sighed and decided to walk over and sit down.

Then it appeared that my flight to the Detroit airport, where I'd get a connecting plane to Charleston, was delayed. I groaned and kicked my heels, staring around the sleepy airport.

In books and movies you always see how busy and bustling airports are twenty-four seven, how it's impossible to breathe, practically. Well, at four in the morning, it's… not that way. It's actually kind of lonely. The flight attendants are over at the Starbucks café, waiting to be called back, chatting, and the few passengers that are ready to get on their planes are all yawning and trying to catch a nap.

I put down my carry-on bag and went over to a pay phone. I used the calling card my mom had left me, and I really hoped she didn't mind being woken up so early. After all, in West Virginia it was about seven in the morning. (A/N: I did this on an online converter, so it may not be correct…)

"Hello?" I heard, and I smiled to myself. She was awake.

"Hey, Mom, it's Katie," I said.

"Oh. Hi, hon." She began to sound worried now. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "I just wanted…" my voice trailed off. What did I want? Company? Reassurances? My mom? "To tell you that my flight was delayed to Detroit," I finished. "I guess I'll call you when I get there."

"Oh, okay," she said cheerily. "Thanks for being responsible."

"Uh huh," I mumbled, and said my goodbyes. I hung up feeling lonelier than before.

I looked over at the Starbucks again. _I really wouldn't mind some ridiculously overpriced coffee right now_, I thought suddenly. Maybe that's why I was so down. It was just early and I was still tired.

Yeah, that was it. Or maybe I'm wishing I'd taken the low road and asked Henry to come with me.

I plopped my bag down on the counter and squinted up at the board. The sleepy barista was blinking rapidly, pretending to be cleaning the espresso machine.

"I'd like a grande java chip Frappuccino," I instructed, feeling like a bona fide American at that point. But those were the best drinks in the world, I had to admit. "And one of those danish things."

"Cream cheese, strawberry, apple, chocolate, or espresso?" The barista asked dully, squirting some kind of flavoring into my cup as she talked.

Oh… I thought there was just one flavor. So much for me being Miss America. "Um. Cream cheese?" I said, wishing I was a little more assertive. Everything I said came out as a question.

I sat at a table and tried to read my assigned reading for the summer, _Rebecca _by Daphne du Maurier. I'd suggested that they make _Twilight _assigned reading, but obviously they hadn't listened to me. Maybe everyone would actually read the book if they assigned us a book we had a chance in hell of liking?…

"_Rebecca_," a voice read over my shoulder. "I wouldn't have taken you for the murder mystery type." Henry pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. I was speechless.

He looked unusually rumpled, his clothes a little wrinkled and his hair a little messy. But I found I liked it. "I-I-I… butbutbut…" I spluttered, jaw dropping.

He grinned, but it was a ghost of the crooked smile I loved. "Good morning, missy," he said dangerously, and I grimaced. He was mad. And dammit, why did that have to make him even hotter? It was an unfair advantage. When I got mad I just got red and started tearing up.

"Um," I said, trying to speak coherently. "Hi?"

He shook his head. "Yeah. Hi." I flushed and looked away; he leaned across the table toward me, reaching and taking the book I was pretending to be absorbed in away from me. "Why did you tell me your plane left at seven?" he asked, glaring at me. I don't think I've ever seen him this mad before.

"Because." I set my jaw mutinously. Two could play this game.

"Because?" He prodded, and crossed his arms.

Okay, two could play that game, but only he could win it, damn him. "Because you have the podcast with the Lexicon today. And I really, really wanted you to not have to worry about personal problems."

He continued glaring at me. "Katie, waiting with you wasn't a 'problem,' it was something I promised you I would do."

Huh? "Wha?"

He sighed and sat back. "At the last audition, remember? I promised you I'd take care of you. And my promise does not involve letting you sit here alone and miserable waiting for a plane that's not going to be here for another hour and a half."

"Oh." I lacked words. "You know, I didn't expect you to do that. To keep the promise."

"Why not?" He was… confused, actually.

"Because you have more important things to do than take care of me," I snapped, not caring if I was being kind of brutal. "Henry, you have… a lot to accomplish, a lot to do. You already gave me most of yesterday, and that's more than you needed to give me."

He started to interrupt me, but I had to lay this in front of him while I still could. I had to set him free of guilt, of obligation, of all this baggage. He was leaving me behind, and I didn't mind. Not really. Not if it meant he'd be going on to be Edward and rule the world, essentially. "When I met you," I said slowly, making sure he was listening, "I never, ever expected anything more than an autograph. You gave me your number. When I asked for help on lines, I didn't expect anything more than five minutes. You gave me five hours. When I asked for nothing more… you gave me friendship, Henry, and you didn't have to do that. I don't _deserve _that."

I could feel the tears building up, but I had to hold them back until I was on the plane. This was why I hadn't wanted a goodbye. It was too complicated. It brought up emotions and thoughts that should be ground into the dirt. "I'm going to go home," I said, "and go to high school. I'll probably fail trig next year, and worry about this guy in my second block, and whine about how much my life sucks and all my zits and problems. That's my world, that's what I expect and what I deserve. Meanwhile, you'll be filming what could potentially be the most amazing movie of the decade with amazing people and doing amazing things in general. _You_ deserve _that_."

I stopped for breath, and he covered my mouth, eyes angry but amused. "Katie, just shut up for a second so I can talk, all right?" I groaned against his hand and nodded, and he released me. "You're wrong," he said firmly. "You're trying to pretend you don't deserve anything good to happen to you and that's wrong. You're telling me that I'm your friend out of… what? Pity? Guilt? Responsibility?" He looked at me for confirmation and I fumbled uneasily with my backpack strap.

"Something like that," I muttered, sliding my hand against the rough ridges.

"Come on. I don't share Ben & Jerry's and watch chick flicks with just anyone." I grinned despite myself. "I'm your friend because I want to be and I'll always want to be, Katie," he continued. "If you'd gotten the part, that would've been beyond belief. I would really have enjoyed spending all that dead time joking around with you. But just because you didn't get Bella doesn't mean that you're worthless. You need to believe that. If you keep talking like this, I may just have to throttle you," he said, and tweaked my nose. I giggled. "And I hated trig, but if you need homework help I guess I can try," he added wryly.

"How did you know to be here right now?" I asked.

"I didn't," he said, dry. "But I signed up for a notification list if the flight to Detroit got delayed or canceled, so I'd know and I could tell you. They called to say the 4:00 a.m. flight to Detroit was delayed, and… then I got mad." He smiled sheepishly.

"At me," I completed, ducking my head.

"Yes, at you."

My flight was delayed twice more in the next three hours; I was ready to pull my hair out. "I'm sorry, Henry," I apologized for the umpteenth time.

He rolled his eyes at me over the Scrabble set he'd bought at the gift shop. Why they had Scrabble I'll never know. "Katie, I'm fine. I don't have to be anywhere until noon."

"And I'm sure this is your ideal way to spend the time," I said under my breath.

"It's pretty high up on the list," he said, and I stared at him in amazed disbelief for a second.

After we got bored with Scrabble, Checkers, and Clue, we leaned back against the seats, sitting on the floor, and took turns listening to each others' iPods. I saw my favorite crooked smile when Henry was going through my playlist and saw one of my guilty pleasures: the Peanuts theme song.

"I'm not even going to ask," he said, laughing to himself. I instantly started digging through his for an embarrassing track and I didn't find _anything. _So unfair…

Eventually Henry really did have to go. "They might as well just cancel your flight," he said with a frown. "It doesn't look like it's going through."

I shrugged. "I'll camp out here until they tell me to go home," I said lazily. We'd made a wide circle of snacks, games, and just… _stuff_… around us. As business in the airport grew claustrophobic we'd attracted quite a few dirty looks from pedestrians.

"You could always get the next flight- it's covered in your ticket," Henry said hopefully.

"What, so I should just hang around L.A. until then?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"You could be my assistant," he suggested, and the idea seemed to make him happy. "You can come meet the Lexicon folks with me today. Alphie and Pel, and Imogen. Stephenie will be there."

"Stephenie Meyer…" I said, hypnotized by the sound of it.

"Yeah," he encouraged me. "You could talk to her. Wouldn't that be fun?"

I let the fantasy go. "When you escort me to the movie premiere, I'll meet her, right?" I said playfully. We'd already made plans for the premiere. I'd be on Henry's right arm, Megan would be on his left. I liked that plan.

Of course, it was just a dream really. If I were on the red carpet I would trip and drag him down with me.

Henry scowled petulantly. "So you won't stay? Even to meet Stephenie?"

"Nope," I said cheerfully. "But you go and have fun. Run along and play nicely, all right?"

"All right," he agreed with a rueful smile, then he stood, pulling me up with him.

It occurred to me that this was goodbye. Not just for a few weeks, as was normal, but… for months. Maybe over a year. I didn't know if I could do it. I wanted to ask if I could reconsider being his assistant, but I reconsidered reconsidering. I didn't want to be baggage anymore, not matter what he said.

"Bye, I guess," I said softly, standing a little apart from him.

"Bye," he answered, and held out his arms. I smiled to myself and let them protect me one last time- I let him protect me from the sadness, the bittersweet feeling in my mouth. I inhaled deeply, trying to preserve that cologne in my head for the next year.

His head rested on my hair, and his arms held me closer, melded to him. Somehow it didn't feel like our normal, easy hug. This was something more needy, more raw.

"Call me when you get there, okay?" He asked finally, and I came back down to earth, gently extracting myself from him. "Or," he added, "if you just feel like talking on the plane, or here at the airport, or…"

"Yeah." I put the sound of his voice in my head. I had to remember that too. "I will," I said, and we both knew it wasn't true. I wouldn't interrupt him while he could be doing something… I don't know. Important.

"And _you_, mister," I said playfully, punching him lightly. "If Emily hits on you too much, or if that hotel clerk shows up in your room again, let me know and I'll come remind them you're off-limits."

Last night the hotel clerk, Caroline, had let herself into Henry's rooms with her master key and a camera.

"I'll do that," he said.

He began to walk away, and then I couldn't help it- I ran after him and tackled his back.

He let out a laugh/groan combination, and I turned him around to face me. "Yes, Katie?" He asked, smiling.

I memorized that crooked grin, and then moved on to study his face. It wasn't like I couldn't get pictures off the Internet, but it wasn't the same thing. "One more hug," I said, shrugging, and his eyes turned sad.

"Sure," he agreed, and I gave him a squeezing bear hug. We had a bear hug contest and broke out of it laughing. "I'll see you soon, Katie," he promised, still laughing a little.

"One more promise to keep," I said, ticking off an imaginary list. Then, as if by agreement, we turned and walked in opposite directions.

Even as I got closer to time to go home, it felt like my heart was traveling away from me.

I couldn't wait until I was on the plane to let the tears out. They came while I was still waiting, and I curled up in a little ball, hoping no one would notice me.

One thing I'd learned about love was that it gave someone power over you: the power to break you. As I tried to wipe away the moisture on my tearstained face, I realized that I loved Henry.

Oh, that was just _great. _

**AN: Not the world's greatest chapter, but you'll get over it. XD Thanks for reading! By the way, I'm thinking about making the songfic chapter a tradition in this story: every six chapters. What do you guys think?... **


	10. Back to the Drawing Board

**AN: I'm grounded, guys, so I will keep updating but I may have to be sneaky about it, which means I don't know when my updates will be. But I'll try to do it every Saturday, okay? By the way, part of this chapter is in the omniscient POV- because it's following Henry and Emily, not Katie, at first.**

**Quote of the Chapter: Back to the drawing board, with the words you've heard a million times before… in your head.**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Ten: Back to the Drawing Board

Henry smiled for the cameras, his head resting on Emily Browning's. He had his topaz contacts in for the first time, and one of his eyes was itching. Still, he had to admit they looked cool.

Every time he'd looked in a mirror today, he'd jumped. His hair was lighter, with a coppery red tint to it that caught the light and gleamed. His eyes were gold and sparkling; with his makeup fully on, he had dark bruises under his eyes and chalky white skin. He didn't know yet whether or not he liked the new look. Not that it mattered; when he'd signed his contract, he'd basically given MTV the right to make him look any way they wanted. He'd have to send Katie a picture later for her approval.

Emily hadn't had hardly anything done. Lucky. She was wearing a dark blue blouse and khaki skirt, one of Bella's outfits from the book. Henry wore a simple ivory sweater and jeans… tight jeans. He was afraid he was going to have to peel them off.

They were doing promotional pictures, for all the Twilight fans. They'd just started, and it was early. They called a halt when one of the hair stylists got fed up with Emily's hair and rushed in to fix it. Henry sighed. Photo shoots: they could be hell on earth sometimes.

Katie had started school yesterday… it had been a week since she'd left L.A. He missed her klutziness and red face. Emily was always so poised and calm, it scared him. She reminded him of a vampire, the way she moved sometimes- so graceful and lithe.

Emily's phone rang next to him and Henry decided to take a seat. This morning wasn't going anywhere. Emily answered. "What?" She said, irritated. She listened for a moment, then scowled blackly. "Well, I'm kind of in the middle of the first photo shoot, Liam," she said, inspecting her nails. Whatever Liam- her agent, Henry remembered- was saying, it apparently annoyed her. "You think I care?" She interrupted. "That's your job, not mine."

Henry tuned her out as Stephenie Meyer came to sit next to him. "How's it going?" She asked with a grin. She looked way too happy for someone up this early.

"Slowly," Henry admitted, but he couldn't help grinning back. "So, what do you think?" he inquired, indicating his new hair, eyes, skin… the new him, essentially.

She pretended to stare critically, getting up and walking in a slow circle around him. Somehow, she resisted ogling him. "It'll do," she said with a shrug, and winked at Henry. He laughed.

"Good to know," he said, tapping his foot on the floor as Muse's "Stockholm Syndrome" came on the stereo- one of his favorites. One of Katie's, too.

Suddenly he became aware of Emily's raised voice. "Liam, that's ridiculous, you promised." She stomped on the ground, shutting her phone angrily. "_Simon_!" She yelled, crossing her arms.

"Yes?" Simon called from the other side of the room, from where he was looking through pictures of the last round of Alice hopefuls with Pam. Henry and Emily were supposed to meet all of them tomorrow, and audition with them to see who had the best charisma together. Alice was the next part to be cast, then James, Charlie, Carlisle, Rosalie, Jacob, Jasper, Esme, and Emmett in order. Jessica, Angela, Lauren, Mike, and the other Forks High students would be last, because they were the simplest roles.

"There's a problem with the contract," Emily said for the whole room to hear. "You and Liam were supposed to work it out."

"I thought we did," Simon said, confused and tired. "Er… didn't we?"

"No! You told me you'd give me more voiceovers. That didn't happen. You also said I could be blonde, and that didn't happen either. If I'm going to take both Twilight _and _Sleeping Beauty, I have to be blonde. They're filming at the same time."

Simon cringed, trying not to look at Stephenie's mutinous face. "Er… blonde? When did that happen?"

"Yeah, when did _that _happen?" Stephenie muttered. "Blonde Bella? Please, God, if you have any mercy…"

"Emily," Simon said, trying to be diplomatic. "I never said you could be blonde. I said maybe you could wear a blonde wig for your other project; it would look the same."

"But that would be a lie," Emily pouted, crossing her arms. "I don't want to tell my fans I'm going to be blonde and then stay a brunette." In her world, that was probably the most criminal thing she could imagine.

"Well… can't Sleeping Beauty be postponed?" Simon pleaded.

"No. Disney's already mad that I agreed to do Twilight after I signed with them. If anything's postponed it has to be this."

"We can't _do _that," Simon groaned, throwing his hands in the air. "Emily, please."

The entire room was quiet, watching the drama. "What happened with the voiceovers?" Emily asked sharply, cutting. "Hmm? I'm assuming there was some kind of lockdown on that too?"

Henry knew the real reason behind giving Emily less voiceovers: they were boring in the story and Emily wasn't that great at them. Simon shot back at Emily, "Yes, there was. We don't have the time to incorporate everything, Emily! We're the people in charge, not you, I hate to tell you that. We can't please everyone, and right now we can't please hardly anyone. So just be a sport and sign, all right?" He realized how mad he'd sounded and winced, starting to say an apology hurriedly, but Emily had gone bright red.

"Well, I'm obviously not wanted here," she said icily, tossing her hair. She pulled out her cell phone and grabbed her purse. "Liam," she said crisply into it. "Just leave, it's not worth it." She gave the room a sweeping wave and walked out.

Everyone stared after her. "Did she just walk out on us?" Pam asked in disbelief, looking up from the Alices for the first time.

"The auditions for Alice are tomorrow," Simon said, putting his head in his hands. "And we need a Bella to pilot with."

Pam looked over at Henry speculatively, and he met her eyes at the same time; both of their lips curved up into a smile. "I think I know where we can get one," Pam said, raising an eyebrow at Henry, and he nodded, beaming.

Stephenie looked between them, at Simon's slowly hopeful expression, and back at Henry. "What am I missing?" She asked. All she knew was that her favorite, ideal Bella had just left for Disney World.

Simon finally gave in to the stares all three were using on him. "Okay, okay," he said grudgingly. "Desperate times call for desperate measures." Henry and Pam cheered, and Henry turned to explain to Stephenie.

"Remember that one girl…" he began airily.

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(Katie's POV)

I entered Trig, feeling the cold air blast me. Why did the math classes always have to be cold? Was it a law of nature?

School had started last week, and today was Monday, the third of September. Anna and I had declared an uneasy truce and sat together at lunch, but now it was in cold silence. We tended to go to the library now, so we didn't have to talk.

I sat at my desk on the far side of the room, pulling my jacket tighter around myself. It was the jacket I wore on my trip around L.A.; it still smelled faintly like Henry, although the scent of cologne was fading every day. I'd have to try to go to the mall this evening and ask a perfume store if they could identify the fragrance… so I could get some.

Last night as I'd tried in vain to fall asleep, I'd remembered a promise I had made to myself, back at an audition.

"_I made a rash decision: if I didn't get Bella, which I probably wouldn't, I'd tell Henry everything I was thinking right now. Everything. Well… I might edit it a _little_."_

I didn't know if I had the guts to go through with it. I didn't know if I wanted to- he'd called practically every day since I'd gone home, and even if we could only talk for a few minutes, it was still worth getting up and living each day for. I didn't want to shatter that friendship with awkwardness. However, I also didn't want to live to be eighty and be waiting on him, trying to work up the courage to admit everything.

The teacher, Ms. Taylor, walked around to the front of the room, haphazardly sorting through our homework papers and handing them back. As always, she looked frazzled and at the end of her rope. "I just have too many classes," she muttered under her breath, per usual.

I was actually doing well in trig, even if I regretted taking it so soon. It was the first semester of my sophomore year. Since my school was on block schedule- four ninety minute classes- I could take one math class every semester. Last year had been geometry and algebra II. Most of the other students in my Trig class were juniors and seniors.

None of them talked to me, and that was fine by me. I'm not what you would call social. I prefer reading or writing until the teacher starts class. Today, I reluctantly shut _Eclipse_, which I was reading for the fourth time. (A/N: I just now realized, as I was about to type _New Moon_, that by now, Eclipse would be out!!! Aah!)

We checked over homework and did some problems to get our brains going. It was not exactly fun having trig first block; I had taken to bringing a large mug of caffeine with me.

I shook my head as the girls behind me started giggling about some guy, some party, some Saturday night binge. Whatever. It was their life, not mine. Ms. Taylor cleared her throat loudly and they stopped talking until she began teaching the lesson again.

We heard a knock on the door and Ms. Taylor motioned for the boy nearest the exit to go open the door. He did, and I turned my head aside with apathy before anyone came in. It was just someone tardy, or a message from the office to take someone out of class. It was nothing that could affect me.

Or so I thought.

"Hello," a quiet musical voice said from the door. "I'm here to check out Katie Miller." My head whipped around as the rest of the class mixed goggling at me and glaring (in the guys' case) or ogling (in the girls') at the man standing in our doorway.

I felt myself grin instinctively when I saw Henry, then my eyes went wide with shock. He didn't just look like Edward anymore; he _was _Edward. His hair was coppery, skin flawlessly pale. I recovered almost instantly, grinning wider. I bet the people at the Lexicon were going crazy.

I stood, my legs feeling like jelly, and Ms. Taylor rushed to get my makeup work for the today. Henry came in and quietly suggested to her that she not worry about it; I would be getting a private tutor soon.

She was taken aback. "But why?" She asked in amazement. "Are you being home schooled, Katie?"

I shook my head wordlessly. I didn't know what Henry was getting at.

"No," Henry clarified, raising his voice slightly so all the eavesdroppers could hear him clearly. He was going to pay for that later, I thought, red. "Katie's going to be starring in a movie with me," he said, and a collective murmur ran around the room. "So she may not be back to complete your class, I'm afraid."

"Oh… that's… that's all right," Ms. Taylor stammered, dazed. Her student was going to be a movie star.

But it didn't matter what Ms. Taylor looked like, because I was sure my ears were deceiving me. "What?" I whispered furiously, grabbing Henry's arm. All the girls were scowling jealously. _Yeah, you wish you were friends with Henry Cavill, don't you?_ I thought happily.

"I'll tell you in the car," Henry murmured in my ear, and with a goodbye he steered me out of the class and into the hallway. I refused to move once we were outside the classroom.

"What's going on?" I asked.

He smiled triumphantly. "Emily Browning didn't work out for the part after all," he said. "You have Bella, Katie. We're going to be Bella and Edward."

My head was whirling. "I… I have _Bella_?" I spluttered, in complete incomprehension.

"Yes," he said. "Hello, by the way."

"Hi," I answered automatically, and then a wave of happiness struck me. However he came to be here, my best friend was here!

I threw my arms around him, grinning like an idiot, and we rocked back and forth for a second. "Let's go," Henry said. "Your parents need to talk to you, and so does Pam."

"Oh," I said, not even trying to understand what he was saying. Just go with the program. "Okay…"

"And Stephenie," Henry said lightly. "I think Stephenie wants to talk to you, too."

My body froze up. "Stephenie?" I asked.

He nodded warily.

"Yessssss," I said, and skipped down the rest of the hallway, Henry nearly running after me. Then I stopped dead and he ran into me.

"There's someone I want you to meet," I said, proud of myself. Henry started to object and I pouted. "It'll only take a second."

"All right," he agreed with a small smile. I led him down the science hall and knocked on Ms. Richardson's door.

"Ms. Richardson?" I said sweetly. "Can I see Anna for a moment, please?"

Ms. Richardson nodded, then continued her lecture as I frantically hid Henry in an empty cabinet in the hall. Anna came out, frowning at me.

"What are you doing?" She hissed, shutting the door behind her.

"I'm leaving," I said excitedly. "I'm not sure what happened, but somehow I got the part."

I waited for it to sink in, and when her blue eyes bugged out of her head I continued. "And before I go," I went on, "there's someone you should say hi to."

I pulled open the cabinet door and Henry stepped out, shaking his head and smiling ruefully. "I take it you're Anna," he said, holding out his hand.

Anna took it like a robot, pumping it up and down. "You're Edward," she said faintly, looking like she was about to have a heart attack.

He laughed. "Henry Cavill, otherwise known as Edward, yes. Nice to meet you."

Anna hugged me, and Henry randomly hugged her, sending two foreign red spots to her cheeks. Then she sighed like a martyr and went back into class, and Henry and I continued down the stairs and out the doors into the sunny day.

"Where are we going?" I asked for what felt like the twentieth time.

His topaz eyes sparkled in the sun. "The airport," he said. "We have a photo shoot to do, you know."

"We do?" I murmured, sitting in his rental car.

"Yep," he said, backing out of the parking space. "And contract signing, and script reading, and helping Simon and Pam with auditions. Are you ready for this?" His smile stretched from ear to ear.

"No," I said, bouncing up and down in my seat, and he laughed. "But I'll get over it." The reality of what was happening hit me, and my heart began to beat faster. Watch out, Hollywood. We're going to take you by storm.

**AN: See? Aren't you glad you didn't kill me?… Happiness! Yay! Again, sorry if it's rushed; I'm afraid my parents are coming home soon. XD Meaning, if there are terrible typos and I seem distracted... sorry. Lol.**


	11. Champagne

**AN: Okay, to address one small thing. I had a few people say, "Gee, I hope Emily isn't like that."**

**Well… for all I know she isn't. I don't know Emily, Henry, or Stephenie at all for that matter. In fact, I was informed last chapter in a review that Stephenie isn't really a morning person, and wouldn't be all that perky during the photo shoot. (Who told me this?… Ahaha. –squeal- Let's just say I am an extremely happy, ecstatic, euphoric, _amazed_ Silviael. Ahahaha. To put it mildly.)**

**Just to clarify: Henry and Emily are the way they are because that's how it works into the story. Are they like that in real life?… Nah, I guess not. Is it even _possible_ for Henry to be that hot in real life?…**

**Speaking of which… I'm a little concerned about writing the rest. I've been to auditions before, but I've never been on a movie set. So, here goes nothing, right? To make a long note two lines longer, an excellent song for this chapter (mood-wise) is "Champagne," by Sugarcult. Just fyi.**

**Quote of the Chapter: All I can taste is champagne, dancing away down my veins. Spinning around and round, I can't get up without your help- I'm on the ground… the beauty in all this pain is: I can't get away from you. So pull me down, and don't make a sound.**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Eleven: Champagne

I felt all these bubbles rising up in my stomach as Henry drove toward Charleston. I needed to scream, sing, dance… something. It should be physically impossible for someone to be this happy; it kinda hurts after awhile.

The nicest hotel in town, the Embassy Suites, rose up before me in all its glory. I remembered staying there once with my Girl Scout troop back in elementary school… I was sort of forced to be in Girl Scouts. My mom was the leader. I was never any good at selling cookies- I ate them before I could deliver them. Ah, memories.

I laughed to myself, and Henry watched me skeptically. "What?" he inquired as he drove up the hill to the airport and tried to find a parking space.

"Nothing," I said, ears on fire. I needed to go home and burn all those pictures of me in a green vest and khaki shorts- just in case Mom got around to showing him the family photos. I cringed. I'd have to steer Henry very firmly away from my house.

Henry was still waiting for a more complete answer, so I distracted him. "Which car is Stephenie's?" I asked, and as I mentioned it I felt that stirring start in me again. Over the course of the fifteen-minute ride, I'd managed to conveniently forget what was going on. Now I remembered, and my stomach fluttered. I rubbed my hands together nervously, feeling my skin come alive.

He frowned in concentration as he squeezed into a spot between a selfish Suburban and a Tacoma. "I don't know," he answered me. "She's inside with Pam and your parents."

My parents… I gulped. Uh-oh. They hadn't exactly been in favor of my week-long stint in Hollywood, and somehow I suspected that this jaunt would be longer than a week.

The thought made me appreciate my surroundings as I climbed awkwardly out of the car. I paused a moment and looked out over Charleston with new eyes. I might not be seeing this place for a while, I realized with a strange pang. I'd been born here. LA was bustling and glamorous, but it scared me a little. I didn't want to live there. I was accustomed to rolling green hills, not skyscrapers.

"Katie?" Henry said, turning around and walking over to me. "What's up?"

"Just looking," I admitted, tearing my eyes off the gold-domed capitol. "I'm ready."

He smiled sadly. "Homesick already?" He asked, with an undercurrent I didn't understand.

"Nah," I lied. "Admiring the view, that's all."

He gave up on analyzing me and took the lead. I'd only been here once or twice before. Until the movie audition in LA I hadn't been further west than Texas, or further east than the Atlantic Ocean.

I entered the airport, then a sensation of being without something struck me. "Henry," I said suddenly. "I don't have anything with me. I'll need clothes and a toothbrush."

"Your mom packed for you," Henry reassured me.

Wow, that didn't help. That was even worse than having nothing at all. "I'll need to go shopping in LA," I warned him. My mom favored flowered, bell-sleeved blouses and ankle-length jean skirts… in summer.

I was going to ask if she packed me underwear, then my face heated up as the words stopped in my mouth. If I had to I'd go commando; I was not going to talk to Henry Cavill about underwear. At least not _my _underwear. I wondered randomly if he wore boxers or briefs…

In the waiting area I saw a small group of now-familiar people sitting, exchanging small talk. My parents looked incongruous with the other two; they were uncomfortable, sitting rigidly upright.

But my attention didn't stay on them long.

For some reason I felt shy as I approached Stephenie. I'd been looking forward to this for a long time. Now that I finally got to talk to her, I was tongue-tied and blushing. Figures.

Pam was the first to say something when we were standing next to the group. "Hello again, Katie," she said crisply. "No, I _don't _want the fake hyacinths, Maude, I want real ones… I don't care if they wilt and die. Just shoot the scenes before it happens. Get it done, okay?" It took me a second to see that she was the small headpiece she wore was a hands-free cell phone.

Henry sighed, tired of waiting for Pam to introduce me. "Stephenie," he said, putting a hand on my back and pushing me forward gently, "this is Katie. Katie, this is Stephenie."

I flushed, holding out my hand awkwardly. She grinned and swatted the hand away, then hugged me.

I started to laugh. It was just hard to be nervous around her. "Nice to meet you," I said genuinely, and felt my confidence return to me.

My mom tugged my sleeve. "Katie, can you sit down for a second? Pam and I need to talk to you." My dad coughed. "Oh, yeah. Your dad too."

I sat down and we all stared expectantly at Pam. I was sandwiched in between Stephenie and Henry, and across from my mom. I quite liked the arrangement.

"The Red Cross is having a blood drive," Pam sputtered into her phone, keying in her Palm Pilot with practiced fingers. "A blood drive. Oh, how menial. Well, make them go to the school auditorium. We _need _the gym that day…. No, we can't do it the next week! Next week we have to be on location, and I'm just not going to stand for it."

She finally shook her head and hung up on whoever she was talking to, looking harried. "Sorry," she apologized. "I'm trying to get all the details for the shooting worked out, and no one wants to _cooperate._" I nodded sympathetically. Did I have any clue what she was talking about? No. Did it matter? No.

"Anyway," she sighed loudly, "we need you to sign these, Katie. Your parents already did." She brandished a ballpoint pen at me like a weapon. I flinched back.

"What does it say?" I asked, looking at the thick packet of paper on the table. There was a lot of small print.

"That you're selling your soul to MTV for eighteen months," Henry said with a perfectly straight face.

I glared at him, kicking his shin lightly. "No, really. What am I signing here?"

Pam gestured to the sheets. "That you're agreeing to work for us, do your schoolwork with a tutor, give us rights to foreign and home sales, etc. The usual. The money, the hours, the basics- it's all there."

"Basically, yes, you're selling your soul to them," Henry said again, smiling in amusement.

As long as Henry was in this with me, MTV could have my soul. I bit my lip, then grabbed the pen and signed my name. No flourishes, no embellishment on my name. I'd have to work out a signature later, I thought. For autographs.

The idea made me chortle. Yeah, right, like anyone would ask me for an autograph while I was next to Henry.

SC  
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SC  
I intended to sleep on the plane. Really, I did. But first Henry and I read over the script, then I had to drink all this caffeine to keep me awake and finish the readthrough… and then I couldn't go to sleep because I was bouncing up and down and giggling at the turbulence over the Rockies.

I think it was a rough flight for Henry.

He finally dozed off with his head on my shoulder tiredly. I tried to follow his example- the next few days were going to be completely helter skelter- but I just couldn't. I was too excited and hyper to sleep, so I took out the folder Pam had given me.

I attempted to read the contract, and see what I'd just agreed to, but it was _boring_. Why do lawyers call a forty-eight-page-long document a brief? And why did they have to use all those "thees" and "shalls"? Didn't we get past that a century or so ago?

Still, I gained a little information before I gave up. My eyes popped open when I saw that if we filmed New Moon, I would be traveling to Volterra. And I'd be doing press conferences for Twilight in Japan, and England, and Spain…

My eyes bugged out of my head. I'd better start learning Spanish. Speaking of learning, I saw that I'd have a private tutor. Well, wasn't I just special. All my normal classes, plus acting and Drivers' Ed. After all, I was only fifteen- almost sixteen. I meant to get my learners' permit about seven months ago, but I kept procrastinating. Did you know you have to read a handbook before you take that test? And actually remember what it says. Nah. I was going to wait, but apparently I have to do all the driving in Twilight by myself.

Ahaha. Poor Henry. At least he would be nice enough to not sue me if I crashed with us in there.

I felt the caffeine begin to wear off as I pulled out my schedule for the next week. Hour-by-hour plays of where I'd be when and with whom. Maybe Henry was right: I must've missed the part about selling my soul, because based on this list it seemed like MTV owned me.

When was I supposed to freaking _sleep_?

First thing was an audition with the Alices. Pam had said they'd postponed the audition for a day- enough time to get me in there- but they had to get it done so they could cast everyone else. I cringed. All those pretty, graceful ballerina types would be there flirting with Henry. Then… there would be me. Let's not go there.

Then a photo shoot- by myself, and with Henry. An internet interview with the Lex. Acting class. Fittings with the costume designer. And last but not least… my physical trainer. Wait. Wha? I thought I'd escaped gym class last year! Oh no, oh no, oh no. Push-ups, running, crunches… I was going to have nightmares.

Just as I was about to nod to sleep, the flight steward came on the intercom and excitedly announced that we were landing. I glared at him with dark circles under my eyes. Hadn't he done this a million times before? Why was _he _excited about it?

As he walked past me to refill someone's drink, he winked at me. My eyes shot wide open. Wow. Excuse me?

I thought it was a fluke. Maybe he was gay and winking at Henry- hey, it's possible. Henry's enough to turn any guy gay.

Of course, when the steward came back down the row he paused over me. "Anything I can get you, sweetie?" He asked in a honey-coated, deep voice. He wasn't meeting my eyes. I had the awkward feeling he was looking down the neckline of my shirt.

I shifted so I wasn't showing anything and smiled tightly at him. "No, thank you."

" You sure?" He asked, kneeling down to my level. My heart began to race. This _never _happened, ever; it wasn't me.

Next to me Henry began to stir. I quickly said, "I'm sure. Thank you." I waited for the steward to get up and leave. Instead he leaned an arm on my armrest, breathing on my face.

"But I need to tell you all about the breakfast menu," he said sweetly. "It tastes good."

Ew. There was double meaning in his words. "I'm not interested," I said, harsh now.

Henry was watching the exchange with bleary eyes. "Katie?" He murmured slowly, his voice thick with sleep. He sat up, moving his head off my shoulder. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," I whispered back. "We're landing, though."

The steward hadn't moved. Most guys would've backed down from the baleful stare Henry was shooting his direction. The employee- Hubert, I read- either had a lot of testosterone or he was drunk. Probably both.

"Come on," Hubert muttered in my ear. He probably thought it was sexy. "I'd like to show you the attendants' lounge. We've got a TV, and you're a special guest."

Oooh, a TV! It's magic. "Nah," I said, turning my head away. "No offense, but we're landing in about five minutes."

He shrugged and finally gave up. "We've always got the return trip," he said with another wink, straightening up and going to answer someone else's pager.

Henry was fully awake now. "Was he hitting on you?" he demanded. His eyeliner from the photo shoot yesterday was smudged, and most of the pale makeup was either engrained in my shirt or sweated and rubbed off. He'd taken the topaz contacts out to sleep.

He looked beautiful.

"Um… no?" I hedged, fidgeting. This was one conversation I had never thought I'd have to have.

"He was," Henry said in amazement, eyes narrowing. "Do you want me to report him? You gave him a pretty clear message."

I smiled crookedly. "I don't go for guys with goatees," I admitted with a quiet laugh. Henry stared at me for a long second, considering, and I blushed. "What?" I scowled in embarrassment, scuffing my feet on the floor. I could barely reach the floor from my seat. I had short legs, all right? Short… everything, actually.

Across the aisle, Stephenie and Pam were waking up. Pam was already whizzing away on her Palm Pilot, looking like a walking (or sitting, whatever) advertisement for the Energizer Bunny batteries. Or a reference to Dory, from Finding Nemo. "Just keep swimming… just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!"

That was one awesome movie.

Stephenie, on the other hand was blinking rapidly, squinting in the bright light. Her laptop was open in front of her where she'd fallen asleep. I'd considered sneaking over to her seat and seeing if she had any of Breaking Dawn saved on there, but my better nature prevailed.

Well… in reality, I hadn't carried out my nefarious scheme because I'd been afraid I'd trip and fall over her and then she'd figure out what I was doing, then I couldn't be Bella because she'd get mad and fire me.

But my official reason is that I have morals, and I'm sticking to that idea.

Below me I saw the now-familiar panorama of LA. The city was busy with early-morning traffic. People were going to their jobs, to school, to the doctor's, to buy breakfast.

I was going to my job, too. Mine was just cooler than theirs as of today.

I looked down at the cotton pajama pants and big Kentucky Derby t-shirt I'd changed into. My parents had stayed at home, and told Henry to take care of me. I was a little scared of my independence. It was strange, not having to answer to my mom and dad- although Henry was taking on the qualities of a pseudo-mom, as illustrated by his next words to me:

"We should brush our teeth."

Okay, Mom.

**AN: My spring break is next week XD. I'm heading to New Yawk, New Yawk! I'm really excited. I'll be writing on the bus (hopefully) but updates will be a little wack for the rest of April. Although happily, I'll be ungrounded once I get back from NYC, so I might actually be able to update when I say I will.**

**Reviews make me happy. When I'm happy I want to write. When I want to write I usually want to work on LCH. So… that means reviews are good things… Next chapter IS a songfic chapter! And the character contest chapter! Woot!**


	12. All Hail the Heartbreaker

**Don't look now but I think I'm **_**updating.**_

**I've been stuck. But I got sixty-eight reviews last chapter, everyone- THANK YOU! To celebrate I am giving you a what-if outtake at the beginning of this chapter.**

**Remember, now, this is the songfic chapter. I'm not giving you the title this time! And as it is a more mainstream song, I may only accept the first five people. I'm not sure yet. It would be based on which got to my box first. And also depending on how many I get, I may not let people who had parts last time around have them twice in a row.**

**Quote of the Chapter:**** I feel like a hero and you are my heroine. Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?**

LIGHTS CAMERA HEARTBREAK

Outtake for Chapter Eleven: What if Katie didn't just consider trying to read Breaking Dawn?…

Morals? Me? Ahaha. Yeah, right. When faced with Breaking Dawn, that thing called a conscience went right out the window.

I put my pillow under Henry's head and slowly moved my shoulder away from him, barely jostling his cheek. I grimaced when I saw a wet spot on my shirtsleeve. Well, if I had to be drooled on, Henry Cavill's saliva wasn't quite as disgusting as someone else's. I wondered how much this shirt would be worth on the Lexicon shop. Edward's drool, minus the venom.

I stood quietly, swaying with the plane in turbulence, and waved my hand in front of Pam's face. She was still asleep. I swear, the woman needed rest. She'd been tapping away all night.

My heart was pounding. I kept expecting one of them to wake up and yell "Boo!" in my face. Luckily, it didn't happen. I oh-so-carefully reached over Pam's lap and touched the laptop. I could hear the happy music playing already.

Then we hit a really bad patch of sky and I fell over onto Pam's lap, banging my head into Stephenie's on my way down.

They both woke up with a snort.

"Ow," Stephenie muttered. "My head hurts for some reason."

I inched away, trying not to touch my own ringing head. I tried to ease up and over Pam, but Pam caught my arm in a viselike grip. "What were you doing?"

I smiled hopefully. "Going to the bathroom."

"Uh-huh."

"What's going on?" Stephenie asked sleepily, stretching as best she could in the limited plane leg space.

As she moved, the laptop woke up and the screen came to life. I oh-so-subtly glanced at it out of the corner of my eye. "I fell," I said in the meantime. "Sorry." I saw two words on the screen: Edward and Cullen.

Oh, _that _was helpful.

Then I saw one more word, which I shall not reveal because I would get sued.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

The Real Chapter- Chapter Twelve: ----

_I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways  
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days_

The caffeine was wearing off from my all-night "let's annoy Henry and get all hyper" buzz. Now, as Pam thrust some kind of digital device at me, I was beginning to wish I really had slept on the plane. It looked complicated. Did she expect me to know which button to push to even turn the thing _on_? Maybe I was just holding it for her.

"That's your Palm Pilot," she said as we hurried through the terminal to the baggage claim. "It's on us. I've already keyed your schedule for the next week into it: where you should be, when, and how you are supposed to get there. I've attached a PDF file of the script and a speed dial list of the executive crew…"

She was talking a mile a minute. I tried to absorb it all. Really! I did! But my eyes felt like anchors, pulling down my eyelids.

Pam stopped talking and sighed in irritation. "I also recorded everything I just said," she muttered, and stopped her voice recording machine. "I'll send it to you so you can listen to it later, when you're wondering what the hell it is you're supposed to be doing."

"Um," I said. "Thanks…" The stars were fading, the moon slowly being eclipsed by the sunrise. Good morning, L.A.

Henry was behind us with Stephenie. When I glanced back at him, trying to avoid Pam's tirade, he merely winked at me. Apparently, Prince Charming wasn't intending on rescuing me.

_I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes  
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise_

I attempted to turn to the baggage claim and Pam intercepted me, her hand like a vise on my arm as she steered me into the reception area. "Peter's getting our bags, they'll be at your hotel this evening," she said.

"Who's Peter?" I asked incredulously. "I need into my bags, Pam. I wanted some stuff before I had to go to the audition"-

"You should've thought of that earlier," she said crisply. "Our plane is late. We've got half an hour to freshen up before we need to be at the studio."

I winced. I may have to be checking into child labor laws… I'm not entirely sure what all that covers, but I might need to wave it around in court before the year's out, if Pam keeps this up.

A very nice black Mercedes was waiting on us. Pam sat in the front seat with the chauffeur, and I sat in the back with Henry and Stephenie. Henry exhaled loudly.

"I hate rushing," he grumbled, and then reached into the mini-fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. "Anyone else want one?"

There was food? My morning, on a scale of one to ten, went up dramatically as I spotted a Frappuccino in the door rack. "Caffeine," I said dreamily, and Henry instinctively reached for the coffee before snapping his hand back.

"Oh no you don't," he said sternly. "You think I want a replay of last night?"

I turned on my best puppy-dog pout. "Please?" I begged, and I saw the corners of his mouth twitch as he gave in and glanced over at Stephenie.

"Anything for you?" he asked. She shook her head and he shut the fridge.

"Want to go over the script?" I asked Henry, toying with my new gadget and trying to find the PDA file Pam had said was there. I pointedly ignored the "you've got mail" message. Now wasn't a good time to listen to Pam's How-To 101.

He pulled out his copy and flipped it open, finding the earmarked scenes we were doing with Alices today. He smiled at Stephenie. "Would you mind being Alice?"

She scooted closer to him and read off his shoulder as we drove through L.A.

SC

SC

SC

_But that day will most likely never come for me  
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck  
To everything you are_

Ew. Simon. I still hadn't forgotten how he ignored me at the last audition. Of course he paid attention to me _now._

Petty? Me? Absolutely. It's fun holding grudges.

"Oh. You," he said, giving me what he probably intended to be a noncommittal glance as he greeted us at the door. In reality it looked more like a death glare.

"Nice to see you too," I said brightly, and patted him on the shoulder as I went past. Henry was grinning as he followed me.

"You're absolutely incurable, you know that?"

"Are you implying I suffer from insanity?" I asked, pretending to be offended.

"It's not an implication, it's a statement."

If I was insane, then what was _he_?

Other than an uberly hot movie star. Other than that.

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures  
And overanalyze your words

I saw five short, pixie-like girls waiting inside. They looked like most of them would take some work, physically, to become Alice: only one of them had short, spiky black hair, and she was pretty tan. In fact she looked like Rachel Leigh Cook.

Wait… that _was _Rachel Leigh Cook.

All five cast a critical glance over Henry and myself, then looked away again,

seeming fairly satisfied. I swallowed a nervous lump in my throat. Well, all were pretty enough to be Alice, that was for sure. Even the least likely, a girl with waist-length curly red hair and freckles, was beautiful.

If this was Alice, what would Rosalie look like?!

Wow.

My hands shook a little as I pulled out my Palm Pilot and glanced "casually" over

the script again. _I'm not auditioning_, I reminded myself. _They are. _Then why was I so shaky?

"All right," Pam said with authority. "Ms. Cook, would you please come with me?" I sat back in my chair happily until Henry grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

"We're included in that," he said with a small smile, and I flushed.

I really should've slept last night.

_But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard  
It's taking everything in me_

Just to forget your sweater so far

I'd run a brush through my hair on the way over here. Actually, it was Henry's hairbrush. I'd forgotten to put one in my purse. Who would've thought the guy would carry a hairbrush around?

It wasn't like he needed it, I thought grumpily. In that ivory sweater…. Sheesh, I felt bad for all the males in the room. Simon was probably taking a hit on his self-esteem.

The audition actually wasn't as complicated or as nerve-wracking as I'd been expecting. Maybe because I didn't have to worry about impressing people anymore. Naturally, the second I started feeling at ease, I completely forgot what I was supposed to say.

"I… uh…" I said, fidgeting. Rachel stared at me, eyebrows raised, and Simon rolled his eyes.

"Told you so," he muttered to Pam.

Henry whispered the cue in my ear and I smiled, beet red. This was going to be a long day.

_I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world  
But your undecisive mind shows me that  
I am "just another girl"_

She was _flirting _with him. I felt my eyes narrow as Rachel gently touched the crook of Henry's arm, smiling up at him. That was Edward! _My_ Edward! Alice does not have an affair with Edward!

And no, I was not overreacting and I was not jealous. Alice was completely out of character. Well… maybe I was a little jealous. It didn't help that Henry was flirting back. Grrrrrr.

I tried not to mope. Being "disinterested," I checked over my Palm Pilot schedule yet again. Only… four more hours of Alices to go. Hoo boy. I wondered if they would feed us anytime soon. I was starting to get hungry…

Rachel came and sat next to me while Pam and Simon were comparing notes. "If I get the part I'm taking you shopping," she informed me. "Just so you're warned."

I winced. "Do we have to?"

Simon glanced over right then and chuckled sardonically. "What, you're planning on wearing _that _forever? Yes, you're going shopping. _I'll_ pay for it, if I have to."

I looked down at myself, offended. I actually kind of liked what I was wearing. It was comfortable.

Henry laughed and shook his head. "She looks fine, Simon. Don't have a cow."

"Moo," I whispered, and he laughed louder.

Simon shot me yet another glare- if he kept it up his eyes would get stuck there- and I ignored him. I could see a routine emerging.

_I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real  
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams  
Maybe then you'd know how I feel_

Of the other four Alices, I only recognized one of them. She looked vaguely Asian. The last one to audition, the girl with the curly red hair, was surprisingly good. Perky but not annoying, cheerful but not chirpy. She got a thumbs-up in my book. She and Rachel were my favorites.

I sighed and stretched when she left the room. I had my schedule memorized by now. Next was the… (gulp) photo shoot. With me and Henry.

I had the bad feeling we were going to have to get up close and personal. I pity the guy. But I'm extremely happy for me. He's the Prince Charming type, just a lot prettier than Cinderella's prince.

As we walked outside, I felt my heart begin to hammer. There were people _waiting _on us. One of them had a camera and a microphone.

Henry cursed mildly and put a protective arm around me. "Give them a smile really fast and then we can go away," he muttered quickly. I grinned tightly, eyes seeing stars from the flashes.

Then the mob began to move forward and Henry said under his breath, "On the count of three we run for the car. One… two… three!" He dragged me along behind him, his grip firm on my arm.

Pam and Stephenie were waiting on us; they threw the door open and we fell inside. I caught sight of my face in the rearview mirror as we pulled away from the curb. My eyes were wide and I was pale.

Henry started to laugh and patted my arm. "You wouldn't make a bad sprinter."

I grimaced. "Nah. I'd fall down too much." He chuckled, but it was true. He was the only thing holding me up out there.

"Well," Pam said, bringing out her handy dandy Personal Digital Assistant. "That tells us people want to meet you. We'll have to arrange something, then, so things like that don't happen."

Did we _have _to?… The day I'd be comfortable surrounded by large crowds watching me would be the day I fit in a size two. It's not going to happen.

_But that day will most likely never come for me  
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck  
To everything you are_

Stephenie was typing again and my Twilight-radar started buzzing. "Whatcha doin'?" I asked casually, trying to subtly peek.

She looked a little freaked out- maybe I was overdoing the whole 'casual inquiry' thing. "Um… writing an email to Alphie…" she said slowly, and I sank back. _Oh._

_I can honestly say  
That I never, ever, ever felt this way_

The photo shop was only a few blocks away (really, it would've been better to have walked). My stomach growled as I followed Pam again. I felt like a dog on a leash. _"Here, Katie Katie Katie! Good girl."_

I fought back the mental image of me wagging my tail, Pam petting me.

Wow, I'm strange.

Anyway. The place was one gigantic room, set into different divisions by curtains and hangings. Pam said, "This is Katie, go ahead," and I felt myself be whisked away behind a blue velvet curtain.

I stared, open-mouthed, at the array of makeup and hair products in front of me. This would be my friend Anna's heaven. I'd have to try and scrounge a few things to give to her.

The lady who had brought me here smiled at me. "I'm Orla," she said, with an Irish accent. She had long caramel hair and an angular face, and her eyes seemed to be laughing.

"Katie," I said.

She said wryly, "Yes, I'd guessed that."

I winced. Well, I sounded like an idiot already. Joy. Orla gestured for me to take a seat. My eyes goggled. The chair _rolled._

Suddenly Henry came bursting in. "Orla, you may want to switch chairs with me," he advised, "or you'll never get anything done on her."

She shook her head and gave him the rolly chair. I felt like crying. "Another one, huh?"

Henry nodded. "Yep. She's hopeless."

I wasn't letting my chair go without a fight. "Henners," I growled, and his eyes widened in shock. "I want my rolly chair."

"Yeah, well, I'd like to own the Tahj Mahal, but we can't all have what we want, now can we?" he said sweetly, and left.

I felt my lip trembling. Orla firmly pointed to the normal, boring wooden chair and I sat sadly. "You and Julie Andrews ought to start a Rolly Chair Fanclub," she said.

I stared at her via the mirror as she began to comb out my hair. "Julie Andrews? Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, _that_ Julie Andrews?"

"I'm afraid so," Orla admitted. "That lady has a love for rolling chairs."

I grinned. "We must be kindred spirits!"

I watched Orla work. Through deft maneuvers she managed to make my hair look natural, even though no natural hair has twenty pounds of goop and hairspray in it. And no natural hair looked that good without all the stuff. So really, my hair looked unnatural, but in a natural way. Yeah I'll shut up now.

Then she moved on to makeup. "What's your favorite color?" she asked.

"Green, silver, purple, and blue," I said.

She sighed. "That narrows it down a lot, thanks."

Henry and Pam came in together. Henry was already all done up- after all, he knew how to do everything himself. He was a speedy job.

"Time for the contacts," Henry announced, sitting himself down next to me. In the rolly chair.

I scowled and he patted my gelled-up head. "Be a good girl and I'll give it back," he laughed, and spun experimentally. He was so evil. And… well… so good-looking.

He'd handed Orla a pair of brown discs. "All right, Katie," Orla said briskly as Pam watched. "Have you ever worn contacts before?"

"No…" I said cautiously.

"It's easy," she said. "Just slip them in your eyes."

I shot her a disbelieving look and she gave in. "Okay, okay."

She tried to help me, she and Henry both. And she'd lied. Putting in contacts was NOT easy. It was painful and uncomfortable.

Henry could barely contain his laugher as I squirmed. "Katie, come on, it'll only take a second. Just keep your eyes open."

"I _can't_," I huffed.

"Yes, you can." Henry squeezed my hand and I gave it another try, opening my eyes fully and looking up at his face looming above me. "Good," he said encouragingly.

_Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin  
These are the parts of your body  
That cause my comatose to begin_

He looked so pretty!

This time Orla was able to slide the brown contacts in. I blinked rapidly when she said I could, trying to get used to the feeling of something obscuring my eyes. My vision was a little blurrier than normal.

"All right, now just change and you're done," Pam instructed me. _Yes, Master._

Orla started putting things up. "I'll see you on set," she said, and I found myself smiling at her. I thought we were going to get along.

_I will sleep another day  
I don't really need to anyway_

I yawned. I couldn't wait to get to the hotel tonight. I'd missed that place; I wondered if my Cheetos were still hidden underneath the couch.

I also wondered if I'd be able to sleep at all tonight. Tomorrow was a big day. Simon would be teaching us how to use the green screen. We were supposed to be filming the scenes with Edward and me running (well… Edward running…). I was excited, which meant I'd be up all night thinking about it, most likely.

_What's the point when my dreams are infected  
With words you used to say_

I changed into a blue blazer, white cami, and jeans. Admittedly, they were very nice jeans. The prop people were already lining up a new costume for me: another blue blouse and a long khaki skirt. It sounded like something straight out of the book.

Henry and I walked in together, and Stephenie's head came up. She stared at us for a second, not breathing, and I didn't move at all. Then her smile lit up her face and she hugged us both. Group hug!

_I will breathe in a moment  
As long as I keep my distance  
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up_

"Perfect," she whispered.

Finally all the camera angles were set and the spotlights were concentrated. I swallowed a happy lump in my throat and positioned myself the way Simon brusquely told me to. The scene was a "meadow". The backdrop was all sun and flowers and there was fake grass underneath us.

Simon told Henry to sit down and for me to lean over and touch his face- like the scene in the book. I was on my knees. Henry closed his eyes as instructed and I gently explored his nose, his eyes, his lips, until they told me to stop. His skin felt like liquid satin under my hands: smooth and silky.

Then we shifted into a slightly more demanding pose: Henry was at the edge of the meadow, staring at me with a haunted expression. I was supposed to look shocked, and a little scared.

This, I remembered, was when Edward forgot his manners.

I sank into the mindset of the job, and I began to truly enjoy it.

_So don't go worrying about me  
It's not like I think about you constantly  
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect  
Your life anymore  
I knew it the moment you walked into the door_

Then we changed scenes, entering Bella's bedroom, and I hastily changed clothes. Orla put part of my hair up to make me look a little different and adjusted some makeup. Within five minutes everything was ready to begin again.

I sat in Henry's lap, in a rocking chair, and he rocked the two of us. I let myself be lulled into a calm stupor, eyes glazing over. Henry kissed the top of my head lightly (wait… that wasn't in the instructions, was it?) and I sighed in contentment. I knew then that I would do anything for this guy.I'll let you get the best of me  
Because there's nothing else that I do well

I'd give anything to stay like this forever. Then, I felt the silence building up around us and knew something was about to change- but for the better or worse, I didn't know.

_I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker  
I guess that's how this one's gonna go I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker_

"Okay, Henry," the chief photographer said, and I heard gentle trepidation in his voice. "Tilt her head up- yeah, that's good, and give her a kiss. Soft."

WHAT?!

I met Henry's eyes for what felt like eternity, one heart-stopping moment. I saw a battle fighting in those familiar topaz eyes. Fear fighting with attraction. My stomach lurched as Henry cupped my face in one hand and put his other on my back, holding me a little closer to him. I couldn't breathe.

_You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim  
All hail the heartbreaker_

Softer than a butterfly's wing, I received my first kiss, and I heard the photographer murmuring, "Now hold it for a few seconds." As you wish…

The kiss was gentle, but something about it was so touching it nearly broke my heart. I gave in to the rush going through me and relaxed, putting my hands lightly on Henry's shoulders.

I gave in completely; he'd conquered me. _All hail the heartbreaker._

**AN: Well, I gave you quite a few clues throughout there. Remember, no googling! **

**Ahhh. It was a little rough, but I am EXTREMELY happy with the ending. Every girl, imagine yourself as Katie and you can die satisfied, right? XD **


	13. Gamble With Desire

**Ahhhh, I feel so guilty, I really should be writing on Blush… but hey, I don't feel like it. I miss my daily dose of Henry. XD And it has finally happened, something I never expected: LCH has surpassed Blush in alerts and favorites. Wow. That's stunning!**

**So yes, everyone can stop sending me emails and putting hints in their updates (haha) that I need to post, because I'm doing it right now. Lol. Not that I don't love you guys or anything… I do. Really.**

**Alrighty. Here are the chars for this chapter:**

**Brittany- Brittles **

**Brooklyn- Brooklyn (anonymous) **

**Brielle- ChakiChu **

**Emilie- Emilie Whoa, making her reappearance **

**Samantha- GoldenEyesRock **

**Carmen- xiao chan **

**Paulina- Serene Twilight **

**Charlotte- lookinthestars (anonymous) **

**Haley- vampirenvy9**

**If I missed ANYONE let me know before I update again, which shouldn't be more than a week! Thanks!**

**Quote of the Chapter: I've never told a lie, and that makes me a liar. I've never made a bet but we gamble with desire. I've never lit a match with intent to start a fire, but lately these flames are getting out of control…**

LIGHTS, CAMERA, HEARTBREAK

Chapter Thirteen: Gamble With Desire

I felt a subtle ache grow in my chest as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Bright blush, caked mascara. This wasn't me.

This was just who Pam and Simon wanted me to be.

_I slowly pulled away from Henry, trying to get my bearings. The world seemed to be spinning like I was on a tire seat with my dad whirling me around and around. Then, the camera lights went out and Henry pushed both of us up. He practically ran out of the studio._

_And I stared after him, shocked. What had I done wrong? _

"Do you break out easy?" Orla asked, and I snapped away from my reverie. She was trying to hand me some kind of makeup wipe.

"Um… nah, my skin's decent," I said weakly, and she nodded, picking up the remainder of her stuff. I stared at myself again. All the stage makeup required for the photographs just made me feel fake.

How could I go from such a high to such a low in ten seconds' time?

I scrubbed furiously at my face, trying to wipe away all of the gunk. Soon I had to reach for a new wipe; the old one was coated with ivory foundation.

"You'll never get it all off that way," a familiar voice said behind me. "Not without taking some skin off too."

Henry caught my hand. "Easy, kid," he said softly, and I tried not to look at him. I was afraid of what I might see.

I slowed, attempting to follow directions. Surely I needed to be somewhere, I thought hopefully. Any kind of distraction…

"Sorry," Henry finally whispered, once all the eyeliner was rubbed off. My face was bright pink and felt raw.

I wasn't sure what to say. What was he sorry for? "It's all right," I said, trying to smile. "It wasn't _that _bad. Tolerable."

His mouth dropped. "What?" he sputtered, and I turned to face him, staring at him innocently. I felt much more confident all of a sudden. Yes, I was attracted to Henry. Of course I was. But if I had to choose between awkwardness and friendship, I'd choose friendship every time- even if it meant playing pretend.

He was still looked shocked…. and indignant. I faced the mirror again and began to work on my eyelids. "I said," I remarked slowly, "that it wasn't so bad. I mean…"

Henry was shaking his head. "You're unbelievable."

I gave him a razor sharp grin in the mirror, and our mirror-selves watched each other. "You know you love me."

I spun around, having reclaimed my rolly chair, and jumped up. "What am I supposed to be doing now?" I asked rhetorically, wondering where I'd deposited my Palm Pilot.

"You're on lunch break before you go record a podcast for the Lexicon," he said automatically.

I gave him a strange glance as I picked up my new Twilight tote bag. Nothing like self-promotion. "And why do _you _know _my _schedule?" I asked, a little weirded out.

He playfully tugged on my hair. "Because Pam, plus your parental board, has designated me your official babysitter for the day."

Oh. Oh, no.

Not that that wasn't a good thing! I love Henry to death. But… I had to go meet a physical trainer tonight, apparently. Visions of myself sweating, running, and falling swam in front of my eyes. "Everywhere?…" I inquired weakly, as if it were of no importance.

"No," he said, and inside I breathed a sigh of guilty relief. "I've… er… got plans for this evening. Is that okay? I don't want to ditch you on our first night here…"

"It's fine," I said. "I'll be pretty tired after gym class." That was an understatement. I'd be surprised if I was walking on my own two feet back to my room.

"All right," he said, and then hesitated. "Actually, Megan's in town. I was wondering… if you maybe wanted to meet her for lunch." He watched me carefully- probably trying to gauge my reaction.

Megan…. The Girlfriend. I plastered a smile on my face. "That sounds fun," I said cheerfully. He must've been thinking about something else, because he didn't see through me.

"Great!" He said excitedly. "Because you know what? I think you guys are going to get along really, really well."

"Me, too," I said, although my inner feral kitty was hissing.

One thing was for sure: this would be something I wouldn't forget in a hurry.

SC  
SC  
SC

On the way to the café we were supposed to be meeting Megan at, I wondered if she could possibly be as pretty in person as she was in pictures. For Henry's sake I hoped so; for mine, I hoped not.

We approached a bustling place in between two office buildings- "First Watch." Henry held the door open for me, then walked in, resting his hand on my shoulder protectively and scanning the room.

I saw a familiar face. I tried to remember where I knew the girl from, then it hit me. It was Henry's cousin, Emilie. The one with the priceless YouTube video of me and Henry spinning around like idiots! She told me in an email that she'd locked a copy of that tape in a security vault somewhere.

A tall, thin form obscured my view of her for a moment. My heart beat faster. It was a skinny little brunette with a Prada handbag.

She turned around to sit in her chair and I winced. Yes, Megan was just as pretty in person, if not prettier.

Henry caught sight of her at the same time. An involuntary smile broadened on his face and my heart gave a loud screech. He looked… extremely happy.

"Over there," he said, pointing and tugging me in the two girls' direction.

Notgoodnotgoodnotgood. In my imagination Megan was a spectral figure; I didn't know her, so I could believe she was shallow and not good enough for Henry. But I was about to meet her, and I was about to be proved wrong. Then I wouldn't have anyone to blame but myself, for being bad at the game of life in general.

As she and Emilie grew closer and closer to us, my apprehension grew. Still, I kept my face happy as I followed Henry. As long as _he_ was happy, you know?

Megan ran up to Henry, closing the distance between them rapidly, and there was no other word for it: she jumped into his waiting arms.

Meanwhile, while the two lovers were reunited, I glanced over at Emilie. She gave me an offhand wave. "Yo."

I grinned despite myself and went to sit next to her. "Lalala," I sang under my breath, raising my eyebrows at her as Henry and Megan made little 'happy noises' behind us.

She got the meaning. "It's always like this," she said with a shrug. "I pretty much just tune them out."

Finally, and much to my discomfort, Megan came to sit beside me, Henry next to Emilie. "I've heard a lot about you," Megan said with a pearly smile, holding out her hand to shake.

I shook it. "Uh-oh," I said lightly, wincing with exaggeration. I wasn't too worried. I knew Henry was too much of a gentleman to say anything really bad.

"It was all good," she assured me, without a trace of jealousy. I fought myself. My sane half wanted to like her; my insane half pouted and crossed its arms stubbornly.

Somehow, after the waiter took our orders, we got on the subject of most embarrassing moments. Believe me, I had a lot to add to that particular conversation.

Megan was laughing, telling a story about when she first moved to Spain and didn't know how to talk to any of her classmates. To top her apparent flawlessness off, she'd graduated second in her class.

Of course she had.

Even as I wanted to feel selfish and jealous and petty, I couldn't. Megan was too easy to get along with. I told my share of moments, including the first time I met Henry. He helped me on that one.

Finally, after Emilie, Megan, and I had all swapped humiliating stories, we unanimously turned to look pointedly at Henry. Megan elbowed him affectionately.

"Your turn," she chimed, with a coquettish expression. Henry put his hands on the table, palms down, and sighed mournfully.

"As much as I would love to contribute to this topic," he said with an overdone elegant air, "I'm afraid I have no embarrassing moments to discuss."

At that Emilie let out a loud, raucous laugh. Half the people surrounding us stopped and stared at her; she waved. "Yeah, right," she chortled. "That's a good one."

Henry looked… frightened. "Emilie," he threatened, "no."

His cousin's eyes lit up with mischief. "Now that I think about it…" she pulled out her huge tote bag. "I happened to bring something with me."

Poor Henry watched in trepidation as she brought into view a nondescript…. photo album.

His grip tightened on the table. "Emilie, what is that?" He said suspiciously, eyes narrowing.

That girl's grin was absolutely wicked. "Nothing you need to be concerned about, right, Henners? After all, you're perfect."

I giggled and Megan leaned closer to me, trying to see. We shared a conspiratorial gaze as Emilie slowly, dramatically, opened up the book.

Henry resorted to begging. "Em. Em, please, don't! Is that the… oh no, please."

"This," Emilie announced, pointing to the first picture, "is Henry potty training."

Oh. My…

This was just too good. Megan and I crowded around her to get closer to the fun-ness as Henry covered his face with his hands.

His third birthday party, where he stuffed his face in the cake. Him in a Superman Halloween costume. A school picture from his first year of school- bucktoothed and wearing plaid overalls.

Oh, my.

Henry was completely and utterly red- I think he might've had even me beat in the blushing category. Emilie paused before turning the last page. "I saved the best for last," she said, eyes glinting. Henry threw his hands in the air.

"What more could you do to me?" He moaned.

Emilie winked and showed the last picture: Henry in his birthday suit with his underwear on his head and his socks drooping off his ears. He was probably four or five.

"He was a strange kid," Emilie admitted.

I thought I was going to die from laughing. My face hurt from smiling!

"So," I said, trying to look serious. "No embarrassing moments, huh?"

He said with embarrassment, "Plaid overalls were the style back in my day, okay? And… I… well…"

"No explanations needed," Megan giggled, and sat back down, her knee brushing Henry's on purpose. My laughter stopped short.

Now I had some real blackmail… haha. "Emilie, I think you ought to bring more pictures next time," I teased lightly. "It's amusing."

"Ha, ha," Henry scowled. "You're just so funny."

"Well," Emilie began, "I remember this one time…"

Henry groaned loudly and exclaimed, "I can't take any more!"

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I was supposed to meet some tech person back at the hotel to record a podcast for the Lexicon, so I took a taxi. Henry and Megan were going to go for a walk in the park. It was just as well- I don't think my nerves could've taken any more gooey eyes and little smiles between the two of them.

A happy, charismatic couple, I thought. Good for Henry. Unfortunately, I'd enjoyed getting to know Megan. Why couldn't she have been a hag with a big mole on the end of her nose and a hunchback or something?

My cell phone rang as I was getting out of the taxi. I hurriedly stuffed money in the cabbie's hands as I tried to remember what pocket of my backpack I'd put my phone in.

"Hello?" I gasped out, a little breathless.

"Hey, it's Stephenie," I heard. It was Stephenie? Stephenie had my cell phone number? It was Stephenie!

"Oh, hey," I said, trying to downplay my reaction. I skipped the rest of the way into the hotel lobby. "What's going on?"

"There's some kind of problem with uploading the podcast files… oh. There you are. Look over to your left."

I dutifully took a sweeping glance and saw Stephenie waving at me, the laptop sitting on the table in front of her. One of these days I was going to buy an identical laptop and swap it for hers when she wasn't looking.

What? I'd give it back! Eventually…

I sat down on the couch beside her. "What's wrong?" I asked again.

"The Lexicon's got a bug," she said. "It isn't wanting to upload podcasts."

I thought. "Does that mean I get free time?" I asked, and attempted to keep the hope out of my voice. I wanted to go upstairs and take a shower.

"Not a chance," she said, laughing. "Instead, Alphie and Pel have asked if you'd mind writing a blog."

"A blog?…" I murmured, thinking about it.

"Yeah. You could update it whenever you had the time, and when the bug's gone you could attach some pictures. Since you're a Lexiconer, it would be really great if you could keep the others up to date."

"Sure," I said, growing a little excited. Writing was something I enjoyed. This would be like an Internet diary.

She pushed her laptop over to me and I spent the next twenty minutes agonizing over my first entry. Then I thought, _A whole bunch of people already know me. I might as well not worry too much about how they see me._

I finally finished and sent it in. I couldn't wait to start taking pictures, maybe even video, for the blog. Dork that I was, I was genuinely eager to be a good little Bella.

Even as I was handing the laptop back to Stephenie, a trio of girls approached us.

"You're Katie, right?" They chorused, and I nodded warily.

"I'm Brielle," The redhead said, removing her movie-star sunglasses.

"Brittany," said the blonde, and pulled out a tube of lip gloss to freshen up.

"Brooklyn," said the last, a girl with raven black hair.

"We're your acting coaches," they said together. "We're triplets!"

My eyes widened. This day kept getting weirder and weirder.

**AN: Ahaha. The rest of the chars will be in the next chapter (I wrote a LOT more than I expected out of these events) and the Triplets will continue their roles.**

**Haha. I was typing my list of people to add in, and the three Bs were right after one another. I was like "Whoa look at the Bs!" And then I was like "Triplets!" and now you're like "Okay… you're weird."**

**Anyway. Thanks, guys, and I'll talk at you soon!**

**P.S. The song for the last chapter was All Hail the Heartbreaker by The Spill Canvas. Check it out!**


	14. Tell My Voice What It Takes To Speak Up

**AN: Hahaha. I was just rereading what I wrote last chapter… and wow I'm crazy. Thanks for putting up with me!**

**The rest of the chars will be in this chapter. For a complete dictionary of them go to the last chapter; but to abbreviate, Brittany, Brooklyn, Brielle, Samantha, Paulina, Charlotte, Carmen, and Haley will be in this one. Hopefully. Unless I "talk" too much. **

**Sadly, oh so sadly, Henry's gonna be MIA for much of it. Noooooo! Must get to Henry again! (My male readers, enjoy the brief respite, right? XD)**

**Quote of the Chapter: It's so old but it's not easy to say goodbye to all this heartache. To just say no, just run away, endure pain, and suffocate every desire that hurts you.**

Chapter Fourteen: Tell My Voice What It Takes To Speak Up

I was swept away from Stephenie by the trio of smiling cheerleader-impersonators. Really. They grabbed me and pulled me to the elevator, chattering incessantly all the while (finishing each other's sentences).

"Er," I asked tentatively, "where are we going?"

"The Hall," they chorused dramatically. Then the raven-haired one, Brooklyn, chose to elaborate. How nice of her.

"It's a conference room," she said. "We're going to do your lessons in there."

"Okaaay," I said.

Well. The lessons actually weren't too bad. The trio may be a little on the odd side, but they knew what they were doing. When I came out I was ready for the running scenes tomorrow and we were beginning practice on scenes that were coming up in the next week.

My next appointment was with my tutor. As in, schoolwork. I had enough time to run upstairs, shower, and grab a snack before I had to be in the exact same conference room I'd been in for acting lessons. You know what would make me feel important? They should post a sign up that says "Katie's Room." That would be neat.

But they didn't, and as a result I got lost trying to find my way back. Figures, doesn't it?

I accidentally burst in on a bunch of business execs, a group of older ladies with their pink French poodles, and the Rappers' Association of North America. Oops.

Finally I knocked tentatively on a door, and it opened almost immediately to reveal a cute guy with sandy-blond hair. "Please tell me you're Katie," he said hopefully, and my outlook brightened instantly.

"You're…" I consulted my schedule… "Jason?"

"That's me." He stood aside and let me in. "Since you're late, we'll have to skip over the Spanish for today," he said disapprovingly.

"I'm taking Spanish?" I asked, surprised. "Oh. Sorry I'm late. I sort of forgot which room number was right."

He raised an eyebrow as he shut the door and motioned for me to take a seat in front of a forbidding stack of books.

"So," he said casually, sitting down, "you have short term memory loss?" Before I could respond, he wrote a note in his notebook and nodded. "Good to know."

He gave me a crooked grin and my breath caught. He may not be Henry Cavill… but yeah, he was cute.

"Let's start with Trig, then," he said, all business now. I sighed inwardly.

"All right," I muttered, and settled in for a long two and a half hours. "Good luck."

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Over the course of those two and a half hours, mixed in between Trig, History, and Biology, I discovered that Jason is nineteen, an Australian, and single.

It was something to keep an eye on… I couldn't fool myself. I was trying to wait on Henry. But seriously, how stupid was that of me? It was illegal for me to like him, and he was very much in love with Megan, so it was also immoral. He was a great friend. I could be satisfied with that. At least, I was pretty sure I could. And if not, then I'd have to live with being dissatisfied.

Every time my mind turned to Henry, it reached the same conclusion: _look, but don't touch. _

I frowned when I looked at my PalmPilot. I still had costume fittings and physical training before I could eat. My stomach rumbled, as if to remind me that it was getting late in the afternoon. _I know, I know._

The costume designer was… up in my room?

Why were people waiting in my room? Technically, I guessed the company owned my room, not me, but still. There was such a thing as privacy.

When I got upstairs and hurriedly slid open the door, hoping to clean house a little before they came (my clothes were strewn everywhere), my jaw dropped.

Well, _my _clothes weren't everywhere. The costume lady's were.

Bolts of fabric, boxes of bobby pins, sequins, and various sharp and potentially dangerous objects were now the occupants of my room. I stood in the doorway slack-jawed as five or six people maneuvered carts around in my living room.

"She's here!" A man with a purple mohawk yelled.

Instantly a razor thin girl with auburn close-cropped hair was at my side. "I'm Haley," she said, holding a clipboard.

"Are you the costume designer?" I asked. I might have a few choice words for her, then.

"Oh, no," she assured me, maybe seeing the warning signs in my face. Like lightning shooting out of my eyes. "I'm just her assistant."

"Ah." I inspected the room more closely. There was no sign of my stuff anywhere. "Um… do you know what happened to my clothes? I'd just started unpacking and…"

Her drawn-on eyebrows shot up. "Hmm. I'll see about it." She took a shifty glance around and whispered, "Between you and me, they're probably gone."

"Gone?" I nearly shouted. "What?!"

"If Carmen doesn't like your clothes, she tends to throw them away," Haley muttered, wincing. "Since she has to make you a new wardrobe anyway."

"But… but they're _mine_," I spluttered.

"Maybe you got lucky," she said with a shrug. Then, with a sympathetic glance at my dated jeans and plain sweater, she added, "I doubt it, but maybe."

She looked like she wanted to keep talking, but I'd caught the name of her boss. "Carmen? Where is she?"

"Here." A voice said behind me, and I jumped before wheeling around.

"Oh… hi," I said weakly. Carmen shooed Haley away, glaring at her.

"It's not true," she barked. "I don't throw away celebrities' clothes. Haley sells them on eBay."

For what felt like the fourteenth time in sixty seconds, my jaw collapsed on me. "But I'm not a… so she couldn't have… well, I mean. Where are they then?" Wow, I'm so eloquent, I amaze myself sometimes.

She sighed heavily and snapped her fingers. The purple mohawk guy, who I found out later was named David, scurried over to us. "Find Haley's stash," Carmen ordered. I resisted the urge to salute David. This was like a military operation in here. An unorganized military operation that happened to be in my rooms.

Carmen grabbed my arm with long manicured nails and dragged me towards the bedroom.

The horror continued there. All hopes of being able to sleep in my bed tonight evaporated.

My bed was folded up against the wall and a mini-runway joined a mini dressing room. Everything was mini except for the mirrors. I felt like I was in one of the those fun houses where everything was distorted but all you could see was yourself.

"This really isn't necessary," I tried, and a stern look from Carmen silenced me.

She whipped out a tape measure and began to wind it in various lengths around me body. Why she needed the length of my hair I'll never know. She wasn't a stylist.

She finally stopped orating measurements to David and snapped the tape shut loudly. She _tsk_ed disapprovingly. "Dear, you need to lay off the French fries," she told me, and I got the wind knocked out of me as she tried to pull a sundress over my chest. Apparently I was chestier than Emily Browning. That was heartening.

Of course, the dress also stopped at my hips.

Through lots of sucking in my stomach and tugging by Carmen and Haley, the little tube dress was at last wiggled onto me. I stared at the mirror directly in front of me and fidgeted.

I got whacked by the flat part of a pair of scissors. "Stop moving," Carmen said through the pins wedged in her lips for safekeeping.

"This," she finally announced dramatically, "has to be canned. The color's all wrong and the fit is entirely too tight." She looked directly up at me and scowled. "It was loose on Emily," she said reproachfully.

Well, gee, I apologize. Sheesh.

I think my face betrayed my sarcasm, because I howled the next second when I felt a needle pierce my skin. "Oops," Carmen said. "You were fidgeting."

Sure I was.

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As I shut the door behind me on the way to Phys Ed, I wondered if I should risk coming back to my room tonight, or if I should run for it.

I'd gotten forced into bikinis. When would Bella Swan wear a bikini? For that matter, when would _I_ wear a bikini? I was strictly a one-piece kind of girl.

I tried to shake off the crankiness that the afternoon had grown in me. The absence of Henry niggled at me, and what made it even worse was that he was with Megan.

_Like he should be_, I reminded myself firmly.

Carmen had given me a sweatsuit that looked like something out of a Juicy Couture catalog. It was navy blue and had a gold zipper and lining. Gee, Twilight-much?

With trepidation I walked into the fitness center. My experiences in this place weren't good. Last time I'd gotten a big knot on my head. I shot the treadmills a collective glare.

The trainer wasn't there yet, so I sat and people-watched. There was an older man huffing on the stair stepper, and a young woman getting a hot stone massage. Hmmm. That was something to look into.

"Katie?" A female voice said. I turned to see a fit middle-aged woman making her way towards me through the field of machinery. "I'm Paulina." She briskly reached out her hand for me to shake.

"Hi," I said nervously, shifting my weight from foot to foot.

She sat down beside me. "What kind of shape are you in?"

"Round," I admitted. After all, round's a shape…

AN: Man, that has to be one of the most stale endings ever. Haha. Sorry. I really, really just wanted to get back to Henry. Paulina will finish up next chapter, then I've just got Charlotte and Samantha. I already know what your chars will be; I just have to write them!

Thanks for reading.


	15. Stairs, Studios and Stalkers

**AN: School is outtttttt. As I've told several aggravated "UPDATE PLEASE" people (lol) that means that since May Madness is over, I should be able to update. Maybe as much as twice a week on this story, if I'm lucky and don't procrastinate. If. And if my editor doesn't assign me a dozen articles. If.**

**Okay. Finishing up the user characters will be Paulina, Charlotte, and Samantha.**

**Quote of the Chapter: Let me just say this to you- I know what we can pull through. We're always given a way out of these temptations.**

Chapter Fifteen: Stairs, Studios and Stalkers

I huffed and I puffed and I almost blew the hotel down, but it survived my first bout of physical training.

Paulina was tough. The fact that I hadn't run a good ten-minute mile since fourth grade didn't mean anything to her. Neither did the obvious conclusion that I was a lost case. My muscles shaking, I went out to the elevator and pushed the button tiredly.

"Oh no you don't," Paulina barked behind me. "From now on take the stairs up and the elevator down."

_She has _got_ to be joking_.

"No, I'm not joking," she said, seeing the look on my face. "Up the stairs. How far up are you again?"

"Er… fifteen floors," I said weakly. I hoped that would convince her to cut me some slack.

"I'll phone the doorman up there and make sure you make it all the way up," she said briskly, and walked over to the in-hotel connection. "If he hasn't seen you in half an hour, he'll send an ambulance."

She wasn't joking.

I trudged, downcast, towards the stairway. I briefly considered going up one flight and then riding the elevator the rest of the way up. Behind me I heard Paulina say very distinctly into the phone, "Yes, she'll be coming from the stairs. No, she isn't crazy. At least I don't think so."

There went that plan. Unless I wanted to go up the stairs one flight, get on the elevator until the fourteenth floor, and then walk up that last flight… my steps got a little bouncier and I waved goodbye cheerily to Paulina. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

I pulled myself up the stairs using the railing and, feeling like I should start singing the "Secret Agent (Wo)man" song, I peeked around the door.

The doorman smiled sympathetically at me. "Ms. Paulina said you had to go all the way up," he said, and gave me a bottle of water. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks," I grumbled. Thoroughly disheartened by now, I thought about just sitting until someone came to find me. I was tired, though, and all I really wanted was a hot shower.

Twenty minutes later, red-faced and dizzy from tiredness, I opened the door to the fifteenth floor, and the doorman hung up the house phone, saying, "She just got here." He turned to me with a kindly smile. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to smile back. "Thanks."

I opened the door to my room and immediately shut it again.

I'd forgotten about Carmen and her fashion posse. They were still hard at work in _my _room, any of _my _needs forgotten.

Yeah, I was cranky. I'd busted my butt for everyone today and now I didn't know what to do. There was no way I was going to just run in there like a diva and tell them off, either. I didn't have the energy. Actually, the carpet wasn't looking too bad…

I sat down with my back against the wall and pressed my head to my knees.

Luckily for me, someone stepped out of the elevator and crossed over to me. "Hey," a concerned voice said, and I looked up to see Henry.

"Hi," I responded, an involuntary smile stretching across my face. His eyes were shining. He must've had a good time with Megan. Speaking of whom… "Where's Megan?"

"She caught a flight to New York," he admitted. "She has a shoot tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh." The glamour never ended, did it?

For the first time, it seemed, he noticed that I was sitting _outside _my room. "What's wrong? Did you lose your room key?"

I shook my head. "My suite's been invaded by the fashionistas."

He grimaced in understanding. "It happens. Where're you sleeping, then?"

I sighed and stood up. "I don't know. I was going to try to call Pam and talk to her about it, but I haven't yet."

Henry smiled, although there was a strange hesitancy in his eyes. "If you want to run in and grab some pajamas, you can stay with me. I'll sleep on the couch. We've got to go together in the morning, anyway; this'll make it easier."

My eyebrows shot up. What? "Er…" I hedged, trying to think of a good reason why not.

He rolled his eyes at me. "Come on. You look like you could use a shower and some sleep." I still bit my lip. "I told you," he said with gentleness, "I'll sleep on the couch. It's a pretty nice couch at that."

He smiled again, and I gave in. "All right," I said. "Thanks, Henners."

"Henners?" he chuckled, shaking his head at me, and we took the elevator up to the next floor. No one tell Paulina…

Henry was right, as usual. I took a shower and let the water run over me. First cold, then hot, as my body went back to normalcy after my training episode. It soothed me, and when I shut my eyes I could almost imagine I was home.

I finally turned off the water and watched the last rivulets of water drain away. I'd told Henry about Haley stealing my clothes (I had to remember to try and get those back) and he'd lent me a big t-shirt and sweatpants. I had to roll up the pants, being short, but they smelled like him, and I felt better.

I knew I shouldn't, but I took a peek at what he had in the bathroom. I really wanted to know what cologne he used. I found it in the back of the medicine cabinet and memorized the name. I wanted some for when this was all over.

Hair still damp, I padded out of the bathroom and saw Henry sitting on the couch watching TV. He didn't notice me at first, and I took a minute to just look at him. When I started to move again, I crashed into the nightstand, almost knocking it over. He glanced up then, looking tired.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

"Much," I said. "Thanks, Henry."

"Anytime," he said, smiling. He stood up and crossed over to me. "That's what friends are for."

_Awwwwww_. I held my arms open and he embraced me. I pressed my face to his shoulder lightly, closing my eyes. At last I mumbled, "Good night," and we let go of each other. It was like I'd thought before: even if I couldn't really have him, I could be his friend. It was enough. It had to be.

"Sleep tight," he said softly, and started back towards the "living room" part of the suite.

"Don't let the Victoriabugs bite," I called after him, and he was grinning as he settled into the couch.

He was the only guy I knew who would've understood that reference.

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The phone rang at six a.m.

"Kate, could you answer that?" Henry yelled drowsily, struggling to sit up on one hand.

Instinctively I reached over to the nightstand and picked it up. "Hello?" I slurred, trying to wake up in a hurry. Unfortunately, I didn't realize until _after _I answered that my answering the phone in Henry's room might be cause for concern.

"Um. Hi. Is this Henry Cavill's room?" An unfamiliar female voice asked, confused.

"It is," I said. "May I ask who's calling?"

By now Henry was sitting on the bed next to me. "This is Megan," the girl on the phone said. "Is Henry there?"

Oh. Oh, CRAP. It was _Megan._

Henry saw my somewhat nervous face and motioned for me to give the phone to him. I hesitated and then handed it over. "Megan," I mouthed. His eyes widened a fraction.

"Hey, baby," he said.

My head was reeling. This was bad.

To top it all off, Henry's cell phone rang at soon as Henry started trying to explain to Megan. He passed it to me, still talking to his girlfriend.

"Hello?" I said tentatively.

"This is Simon," said a too-familiar cynical man. "Good morning. Can I ask why you're answering Henry's phone, Katie? Or is it personal?"

"It's your fault," I said, tone clipped. Good morning, world. "That Carmen lady was still occupying my bedroom- my entire suite for that matter- so Henry offered to sleep on the couch in his room, and told me I could have the bed. No scandal involved. Do you have a problem with it?"

I was still in a craptastic mood. No wonder. Physical training, Carmen, Megan, now Simon. Oh, of course; it was a Tuesday. I never had a good day on Tuesdays.

Henry hung up the hotel phone and waited, pensive, for me to finish.

"No," Simon said. "Calm down. Don't go diva. I just wanted to know if I should start bribing the magazines to keep quiet."

"Not a problem at this point," I said tightly. "What do you want?"

"Emergency auditions," he said. "With the three Musketeers."

"Who?" I asked, as Henry stared at me, looking impatient.

"Laurent, Victoria, and James."

"Oh." So I would get to hang out with scary people until the filming began today? Fun. "When do you need us?"

"An hour ago," Simon said crisply.

"Simon, I'm not in the mood for sarcasm," I hinted.

"Okay, okay, whatever. Pam wants you at the studio in an hour and a half."

"We'll be there," I answered, and hung up. Something about that guy rubbed me completely the wrong way.

"What did Simon want?" Henry asked.

"We're supposed to go help with James/Laurent/Victoria auditions in an hour and a half," I summarized. I made a sympathetic face. "Is Megan okay?"

"Yeah," Henry said. He was lying through his teeth; I knew enough about him to know that. "I explained the circumstances. She says good luck today."

I think Henry paraphrased a little more than I had.

"I guess we should get breakfast and stuff," I said after an awkward silence. "Do you think we should take our stuff with us in case we don't have time to come back before the filming?"

Henry closed his eyes in thought- and out of stress, I thought. "I think we ought to be prepared," he agreed after a second.

I smiled forcedly. "I knew you were in Boy Scouts when you were little. Does Emilie have any pictures of _that_?"

His face reddened. "Emilie is going down," he grumbled, and got up to take a shower. I grinned to myself. I'd have to ask.

I loved having blackmail over Henry. It made us feel a little more even.

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Okay. I was creeped out.

It's pretty common consensus on the Twilight Lexicon that Cillian Murphy, of _Red Eye_ and _Batman Begins_ fame, would be a good James.

He showed up for his audition with blood red contacts. I fought the instinct to hide behind Henry.

For his audition, we did two scenes: the first where James is introduced to the Cullens playing ball, and the second when he "attacked" me. That was when I felt like I was going to die, figuratively. The guy was perfectly nice, I guess, offstage, but it didn't feel like he was acting when he said he was going to kill me.

Henry didn't have a whole lot to do, besides a few "let's-protect-Bella" lines in the beginning, so he just watched the rest of the time.

After Cillian left a slew of good-looking guys with olive skin and dark hair came in. I about hit the ceiling when I realized John Stamos was one of the potential Laurents. I loved the guy! I'd grown up watching _Full House. _But of course I had to act, in Pam's words, "distant and impartial."

I tried really hard to have chemistry with Stamos, though.

The Victorias were last. The character would only be a cameo in Twilight, but if we got to make New Moon, she would have a big part- despite the fact that you never saw her.

I didn't recognize any celebrities among the Victorias, but my favorite was a girl named Charlotte, with fire red hair and pale freckled skin. She was pretty, but not gorgeous. I could see her with red eyes. She'd be sort of scary.

She was nice, too. Most of the people auditioning were very experienced actresses and therefore a little cold, or cutthroat. Charlotte was different. She wasn't exactly warm- could you see Victoria being warm?- but she was interesting to talk to.

Eventually we were through and Pam told Henry and me to go eat lunch and be back at the studio to film by one o'clock. We walked quickly to a burger joint around the corner, and my legs were feeling the worse for the wear. Last night had sent them into retirement.

Thankfully, Henry would be the one doing the running today, not me.

We waited in line to get our five dollars' worth of good ol' grease and caffeine, then sat at a booth in the corner. As we were finishing up, this morning's awkwardness forgotten, a girl who looked like she had Asian roots started staring at us.

I kicked Henry under the table. "That girl is staring at you," I muttered tersely. "Eight o'clock."

His eyes swiveled and then grew horrified. "Not here," he moaned.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He looked more scared confronted with this teenage girl than I had when being threatened by James.

"_Samantha_," he said. "On the count of three we do an up and away."

"Er, I fall a lot when I run," I reminded him.

"Then I'll meet you back in the studio," he said, panicking. I guess it was that age-old _Pirates of the Caribbean _philosophy: He who falls behind stays behind.

Or something like that.

"One," Henry counted. "Two. Three." I pushed myself up and obediently rushed from the table and out the swinging glass doors.

Despite his less-than-chivalrous words before, Henry grabbed my arm and helped to propel me along with him. He glanced back once we were outside and cursed. "She's following us!" He moaned.

I was assuming there was a really good story behind this. And if he wouldn't tell me, I was sure Emilie would.

"Henry, waaaaiiiiit!" The girl- Samantha, he'd called her- yelled behind us. "I'm your long-lost sister!"

"She's not even British," Henry muttered incredulously, beginning to laugh.

"I want you to take me to my senior proooooooom!" Samantha's voice trailed off behind us as we gained distance, weaving in and out of the people.

We burst inside the studio doors, flashing our passes at the security guard. "Home safe," Henry said, barely breathing hard at all, while I leaned over and tried to act noncommittal.

"Who's that? A rabid fan?" I teased.

"She seems to have convinced herself that I'm her brother and she lost me at birth," he said with a shake of his head. "I hadn't heard the 'take me to prom Henry' plan before, though. It's a new one."

"Henry's got a stalker," I sing-songed.

"Oh, hush, what about that flight attendant on the plane, huh?" he shot back playfully.

Oh yeah… Hubert. I think that was his name. I shuddered. "There's a difference," I defended myself. "He wasn't actually stalking me. He worked on the plane."

"Sure there's a difference," Henry said with a twinkle in his eye. "Sure there is."

**AN: Sorry, Samantha, I couldn't resist. XD We have quite a few evil plans involving coercing Henry into taking us to prom, folks. And we also want to steal Edward's precious sewing machine. Hahha. Charlotte, your part will be continued throughout the story; you're going to be Victoria. Since it's small, I decided you could just have more moments.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	16. Until It's Over

**AN: Ladidahdidah. I meant to update Wednesday… er… it didn't materialize. Oops. Summer means I'm lazy as well as free to write. –smile- By the way, I totally think everyone should read today's QOTC. It fits, because today's update is short and pointless. XD Mark Twain and I would get along.**

**Quote of the Chapter: Notice: Persons attempting to find a Motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a Moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a Plot in it will be shot.**

Chapter Sixteen: Until It's Over

As we walked back into the set (me in a huff because of that little Hubert comment) my jaw dropped. An hour ago we'd been helping out with auditions in this set of rooms. Now, they were ready to be filmed in.

A green screen was up against one wall with some kind of dangling black contraption that I later figured out was a harness. Tech guys and gals were arranging lights and cameras and all that jazz. Simon was happily barking at them to work faster.

In all the rush to get me on set I hadn't yet met with the director of the movie. His name was Bob. He was cool.

Seriously, his name was Bob.

Henry and I walked (well, he kind of had to steer me everywhere) to the place curtained off for preparations. As in, makeup, hair, costume, that fun stuff. I smiled when I saw Orla waiting for me.

"Hi," I said cheerfully, plopping into her rolling chair. "What's up?"

Orla sighed as I gave the chair an experimental twirl and waved at Henry. "Jeanne's going to be a little late, she just called," she said. Jeanne? What, did he have _another_ girlfriend visiting?

When he took a seat next to me I realized Jeanne must be his stylist. Oh.

First thing we did today was put the stupid brown contacts in. When I saw Orla picking up the case, I groaned. "Pain is beauty," Henry said very helpfully.

"Your turn to try and put them in," Orla said. I stared in terror at the innocent little discs.

I got them in, squirming all the way and nearly poking my eye(s) out. The things I'll do for Twilight…

Hahahahahahahahahaha. You should've seen my hair after Orla was done with it. Since we were "running" today, I was supposed to have my hair blown back by the wind. Well, hair gel does the same thing- only it freezes your hair that way.

I touched my hair and winced. It was like a helmet. I glanced in the mirror and rephrased: a pretty, shiny, natural-looking helmet. Kudos, Orla.

Henry still had nothing done. "Is Jeanne getting here anytime soon?" he asked.

"I haven't heard anything else," said Orla's assistant, poking her head around the door. "But Bob just said we're starting in half an hour, with or without the stars."

_That might get a little difficult. I guess the movie viewers would enjoy the beautiful scenery of Forks._

They'd enjoy the beautiful scenery of Edward even more, though.

Finally, after another five minutes, Orla offered to help Henry with his prep, and he accepted. He picked the lock on Jeanne's case of supplies and rooted through it to find his topaz contacts.

Who would've guessed Henry knew how to pick a lock? Bad boy!

I went ahead into the next curtained room while he and Orla were speeding through his makeup and hair so I could change without it getting… awkward.

A grin stretched across my face from ear to ear when I saw our costumes. They looked like twin outfits. I'd forgotten that on the morning of going to the meadow, Bella and Edward dress the exact same way.

I got a little hum in my stomach just thinking about the meadow scene.

To distract myself I started to change, turning my back to the door just in case some unfortunate soul was to walk through. I winced when I noticed that the shirt was a little snug. No doubt it had been fitted for Emily.

I waltzed back into the makeup room to see another three people in the small space. I blinked, and my breath caught (as usual) when I saw Henry all decked out as Edward.

The three new women turned to look at me. It was Stephenie and a posse.

"Um, hi," I said.

"Katie, I wanted you to meet my publicist, Elizabeth, and my sister, Emily," Stephenie said, gesturing in turn to a different person.

Oh, I'd heard of them!

I was confident again. I greeted them and then they noticed my helmet hair and started laughing.

I looked like an idiot, so I laughed with them and hoped it would look better onscreen. Not that anyone would care what I looked like… that was Henry's gig.

I waited while Henry stood and changed, and Orla and I talked a little with the trio.

Then, out of the blue, as we were talking about the scene it hit me.

Edward and Bella's first kiss is in this scene.

I nearly choked, and everyone looked at me worriedly. Of course I'd known the kiss was in this scene. It just hadn't fully _registered._ Oh, no, I hadn't even brought a breath mint.

"Er, Katie?" Orla said. "You okay?"

I smiled nervously. "No one would happen to have a mint with them, would they?"

Just then Henry came out all snazzy-looking and I abandoned my search for a mint. Maybe something would get held up and that particular awkwardness could be reserved for tomorrow.

"Ready?" he asked, and I just kept smiling, feeling it stretch on my face. I nodded.

Ready or not, here we come.

I felt pretty cool, walking next to Henry with Orla, Stephenie, Emily, and Elizabeth around me. Elizabeth and Stephenie were conferring back and forth at a rapid rate.

I sighed when I saw the Trio of Happy Little Actresses waiting on me. "Remember what we taught you," said one.

"We're here to help if you forget," said another, and it sounded to me like she didn't expect me to do that well on my own.

"We're your cheerleaders!" chimed in the third, apparently not wanting to be left out of the "Go Katie" fest.

"Um," I muttered, red-faced, while Henry coughed next to me. "Thanks." _I think._

Henry and I stepped onto the ministage and Bob came over to us. I already loved Bob. If the guy was fifty years younger and looked like Henry, I may have been majorly crushing. After all, any guy with this kind of knowledge of Twilight is hot.

After a bunch of techie talk that left me out of the loop, Bob directed Henry onto the green screen and motioned for me to come with him. "Where are we going?" I asked. We were walking toward the big black contraption...

"It's a harness," Bob explained. "This way Henry doesn't have to carry all your weight, and... well... you won't fall off." From the suddenly sheepish expression on his face, I could tell that he was worried for my life. I mean... I could hold on to somebody. I'd had piggyback rides before. Hadn't I?

I tried not to think about how it had ended... in the emergency room. Oh, yeah. Maybe the harness _was _a good idea.

Henry was talking animatedly to the lead techie as Pam came up and, businesslike, said, "Get in. It's time to shoot."

I gave the mass of straps and strings a glare. Did they expect me to know where to put my head, much less my arms and legs?

She sighed heavily and pulled it down for me, unceremonially jerking my legs into the right holes and fastening the straps. I got a cold chill when she had to run the arm straps up the back of my shirt, because it would just be easier to hide them than to erase them in editing. So she said. I think she just wanted to cause me pain.

We were ready to begin filming the Twilight movie. I bounced around aimlessly in my harness as I waited for everyone to finish up whatever it was they were doing. The bouncing wasn't as good as spinning around, but it was better than just hanging there.

I felt a lurch and I was tugged up about a foot, then Henry came over to me. "Let's do this," he said, and right then and there we made up a secret handshake. I'd tell you all about it, but then I'd have to kill you, and I don't want to do that, seeing as how you're reading my story in the first place.

I felt my face flush pink as I was lowered down onto Henry's back. The harness was supporting about two-thirds of my weight, I guessed. Henry reached back and hooked his arms through my legs, and I felt a rush of warmth spread through me. Maybe it was those disgusting hormones. Maybe I needed to go to the bathroom.

Who knows?

**AN: I know it's about a third of the normal length and not that filling. I'm sorry. I'm getting ready to leave for Pennsylvania in about fifteen minutes and I told myself no matter how abysmally crappy, you guys deserved an update. So, leave me some lovin' while I'm gone and I'll update with a better chapter first day I'm back.**

**One or two issues I'd like to address briefly (and I do mean briefly, cause I gotta go!). I've noticed about twenty gazillion Twilight movie fics popping up, and that is great! Doesn't everyone have their own take on it? I love reading other people's stories. Just… please don't copy this exactly. I've worked hard on it. People usually let me know if a story looks like mine and I check it out. If you know your _beginning _might look the same (there's not a whole lot you can do with just the audition after all), just send me a message before you post as a precaution so no loyal fans flame you. I've had to avert several crises. XD **

**I know that probably sounds bossy and like I think I have the rights to all Twilight movie fanfictions. I don't and there are several out there that are very promising. But I want to be able to defend you and say "Hey, it's okay folks, I've talked to her/him about it" instead of just getting ticked myself. **

**Also, if you're an anonymous reviewer and have some constructive criticism for me, please leave an email so I can respond. I'm the only one who can see your address, according to the latest changes in fanfiction. I'd appreciate it. **

**Thanks for reading, sorry for the brief chapter and the not-so-brief note, and I hope everyone's having a good June! **


	17. Paint Me Green

**AN: Thanks for the generous reviews. This chapter's a little longer than normal… and, well, I hope it's good, because it was one of the most fun to write so far!**

**And thanks to everyone who told me to have a good time. I did! Spas, shopping, good Italian food, and passing out. Well, that last one wasn't fun, but it was interesting.**

**QOTC: You're a little faster than you were before; a little better than you already were. So when the lights go down don't be shy. C'mon, let's give this one last try.**

**(Oh Goodness, the songfic chapter is after this. Already?!)**

Chapter Seventeen: Paint Me Green

Ohhhh, my butt was hurting.

It may surprise you to know that Henry isn't very graceful about running in place. I was getting bounced everywhere, and after a good solid hour of trying to get enough good film to use, my _gluteus maximus_ was in severe pain.

We stopped after an hour. "Take a break," Bob called. "We'll see if we've got enough for now, then we can go on."

How much video of Henry's legs moving did they need? They were just going to blur it anyway. Since Edward's such a spiffy runner…

I was more than happy to take a break. However, there was one slight problem with that; everyone else headed off to take _their _break. Henry even moved away, stretching his legs, and I was left dangling there.

"Help?" I called after them all, feeling like there would be permanent indentations in my legs from the harness straps. "Hello?"

All the techies were eating donuts, but Henry turned around, maybe wondering why his faithful tagalong wasn't at his side.

He laughed. "Oh. Sorry!"

I hadn't thought about this before yelling after him. He came closer and started to unbuckle the straps, and I became hyperaware of every area he had to touch, no matter how innocent.

He had to reach up the back of my shirt to get at the arm straps and I just prayed Megan wouldn't mysteriously walk in about now. This would be even harder to explain than the hotel room this morning.

From now on, I'd have to grab a techie before he left.

Finally all the gizmos were gone and I was free- free to _fall_. I was still raised in the air, and when the last straps were liberated I basically dropped onto Henry like dead weight.

He _oof_ed and lowered me to the ground. "Thanks," I said, blushing a little, and smiled when I saw him rub his shoulder where I'd hit him.

"Anytime," he said with a rueful sigh, and I grinned.

"Hey, look, there's donuts!" I exclaimed, and trotted off in that general direction.

"Do you have a disorder?" Henry muttered behind me. I chose not to answer him.

It felt good to walk, but it felt even better to chomp down hard on a Krispy Kreme.

I'd taken two happy, contented bites before Carmen had come up behind me and snatched it away. "You, my dear, are on a diet." She pointed to the other table, where lots of unappealing healthy-looking foods were stacked. Hey, guess what? No one was at that table. "If you're hungry, that table is your new best friend."

I stared at her in disbelief, then I scowled and took my donut back. "I don't think I asked you," I said nastily, and as soon as the words left my mouth I was surprised by them. I wasn't that malicious, not even to people who stole my donuts, which was pretty low.

"I'd let her have a donut if I were you." Henry had on a tense smile next to me.

Carmen walked away, taking some kind of soy confection from the other table.

"Why did I just say that?" I asked, more to myself than to Henry.

He was silent for a second, then put his hand on the small of my back. "We've still got a few minutes… let's walk."

I swallowed down the rest of my glazed donut. Somehow it didn't taste as good as before.

Henry led me out to the hallway, where it was cool and quiet, then he shut the door behind us and leaned back against the wall. "I've been wondering when it would kick in."

"What?" I asked, biting my lip. He had on that 'older brother' look again.

"The power rush," he said. I sensed he was gearing up for a story. "Katie… you've been thrown pretty much head-first into this. You haven't really had time to think about what your life is going to be like now. You're going to be given attention. People are going to look up to you and do what you say. It's going to matter to them what you think of them, because you're going to be somebody."

I wished I could shut him out, because I knew where he was going. He continued, "It's hard, when you have that manipulation over people, not to use it. Believe me, I know. But you can't abuse this. It's a gift, but it's also a curse."

He took a deep breath. "The price of living this life is that it's hard not to lose your humanity. It can be so surreal. You start wanting the spotlight all the time. You care about what really matters less and less. I've seen it happen to people I used to be friends with. You have to struggle to keep who you were before this movie alive, or you're going to lose her. And I like Katie Miller too much to lose her."

I hadn't heard him say so much since… the airport, when we'd both thought I'd go home and live a normal, boring life.

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something, catching his breath from the long speech.

"I'm going to try," I promised, feeling a weight sink in on my chest. I knew I'd been avoiding thinking about life beyond filming this movie. I didn't _want _to think about it. "I won't let her go."

He nodded, and clasped my hand in his. "Good," he said simply, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. Then he listened for a moment. "They're calling everyone back to reset. That means we're going on to the lines."

"Thank the Lord," I said. "I mean, I'm sure you were having fun running a marathon, but just hanging there was getting a little stale."

"Oh, yeah," he said, rolling his eyes. "It was just so much _fun._"

He opened the door and smiled. "Ladies first." I ducked under his arm (it wasn't hard. I'm short.) and released all my anxiety in one long breath. It was showtime.

At least, I thought it was until I saw Jason, my tutor, waiting on me. He cast an accusing eye behind me at Henry. "Where'd you go? We're supposed to do a lesson while they set up," he said. Was that… jealousy in his voice? It couldn't be.

Although I'm sure all guys are fairly jealous of Henry.

And for some reason, Henry's overprotective hackles raised up. "What are we studying today?" he asked, sitting down at the card table. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Katie and I," Jason said acidly, "are studying trigonometry." Then, grudgingly, he added, "I'm Jason."

"Fascinating," Henry said dryly. I wasn't certain if he meant the trig or Jason.

I thought I was going to have to head off a testosterone-charged moment, but then Henry was called over by Jeanne, his errant stylist. With one final "watch yourself" glare in Jason's direction, he left.

I settled into my chair. "So. The repugnant Trig. No offense, but why can't we do English instead?"

"Because you're doing the worst in Trig."

Well, that made sense.

I saw Henry eyeing us while he was doing things for the director, making himself useful. I didn't exactly devote my full attention to math. I didn't think Jason did either.

"Listen," he said when one of the associate producers gave us the five-minute warning. "I know you barely know me… and you may not be comfortable with this yet… but I wanted to know if you would mind going to the movies, or out to dinner, sometime."

_What just happened?_

I really did like Jason. No. He wasn't Henry, but there was only one Henry in the world, and Megan had him. Besides, it was flattering to be asked out. It hadn't happened to me in a long, long time, and it had _never _happened from a guy both older than me and cute.

"Sure," I said, throat tight.

"Great," Jason said with a crooked smile. He wrote down a seven-digit number on my trig homework. "I'll talk to you later, then."

"Yeah," I agreed dazedly, and he got up and left. I was shooed out of my seat so the employees could put up the chair and table.

"That boy likes you."

Henry was shooting him another death glare as he walked out of the door. I just smiled, feeling my face stretch into "full happy mode," as I hummed to myself, picking up my school supplies.

I'd just been asked out, I realized in disbelief. By someone actually clean and nice and smart. How did that happen?

"Katie, are you listening to me?" Henry demanded, tapping my shoulder. It was only when I looked up at him that I grasped that he had been talking to me for the last thirty seconds.

"Yeah, I'm listening," I lied.

He didn't believe me, but then he let out a forced laugh. "Be kind when you reject him, right?"

I stayed silent again.

"Oh, no," Henry said, as my silence sank in. "He asked you out." I nodded mutely. "You… you said _yes_?"

I nodded again. "Yes, I did," I admitted, finding my voice again. "Jason's a nice guy. Isn't it perfect?"

And I waltzed away to go talk to Orla.

I fumed to myself, though. What, did he think I would just magically stay the same as I was when he met me? Just because I hadn't ever had a boyfriend didn't mean I wouldn't ever have one.

"Well, someone's got a happy glow," Orla remarked as I floated over to her. "And it isn't me."

"Did you see that blond guy who was teaching me?" I whispered, like it was a secret. She nodded assent. "He asked me out."

"Good for you!" She said. "He's adorable."

I blushed. "He is, isn't he?"

"So that's why Henry looks so stormy," she mused. "I wondered…"

I glanced over at Henry. He was now talking to Simon and pointedly not looking in my area, his face blank.

Well, he'd just have to get over it.

The Triplets bounced to us. "Katie, let's get Henry and go over your lines," the blonde chimed.

"Yes, let's," the other two agreed.

"Let's not and say we did," I said hopefully. Then I remembered I was supposed to be kissing Henry in a few minutes. He didn't look so kissable right now.

Like they listened, right? "Oh, Hennnnnry!" The redhead trilled, waving and jumping up and down. He reluctantly looked at us. She beckoned him over and he trudged to us.

"I want you two to go over your scene," said the brunette. What? I couldn't get them sorted out. I was bad with names.

"Fine," Henry said.

Well… I wouldn't say we were lovey-dovey and enthralled, exactly. It was more like we were screaming at each other.

Orla left when I 'accidentally' stepped, hard, on Henry's foot. She was most likely worried it would break out into a fistfight.

"Er," said the blonde, trying to find a way to be tactful. "Y'all… that was… different."

"It sucked," said the brunette. "Do it again and whatever drama you two have got going on, throw it out the window. It doesn't matter. All that matters is your characters, not you."

I took a deep breath. She was right. Stephenie was glancing over here, and she looked worried. I had to do this right for her and for the other people who loved the books. I could always be mad at Henry tomorrow.

"Okay," I said slowly, composing myself into Bella. _Think Bella. Breathe Bella. Act like Bella. _"Let's try it one more time."

The set was almost ready.

This time around it wasn't _as _bad… but it was still pretty bad, yeah. I just couldn't summon up the feelings I needed. Why was that? Henry was still my best friend. Just because he was being overprotective, sulky, and a total grouch didn't mean I didn't love him.

The redhead threw her hands in the air. "Katie, what is wrong with you? You were doing so well yesterday!"

Simon had apparently been standing by, listening. He came over, took my arm in one hand and Henry's in the other, and towed us over to a secluded, dark corner of the workroom.

"They're starting in two minutes," Simon said tensely, "and unless you two get your act together they'll be finding a new Edward and Bella. All I know is you two work. You're a team, a pair, and that's rare to find. I took a chance on casting you. Especially you, Katie." Well, gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. "Don't disappoint me… or make me look bad."

He left us with a stern "stay here" palm held up. I tapped my foot in the awkward silence.

"How old is he?" Henry finally growled. Yes, it was a _growl_, and not an especially sexy one at that.

(AN: I am changing Jason's age. He is now seventeen and therefore legal for Katie to date. It just seems better.)

"Jason? Oh, he's seventeen," I said absently. Henry had those topaz contacts in, and they shone in the dim light.

I could've sworn I heard Henry mutter "dammit" under his breath. Like he wanted to say Jason was too old for me, but couldn't. Sorry about your luck.

"How long have you known him? Two days?"

"A little more than that," I said, then I actually counted. "Okay, yeah. Two days."

"Don't you think this is a little fast?" Henry asked. "Katie, I'm sorry I'm mad. You deserve to be happy, and if this Jason is genuinely a nice guy then I'm happy for you. But this just doesn't feel right and I care about you. I don't want you to get hurt."

All together now: awwww. Okay, okay, so that last bit, with him caring about me, that softened me right up. "I know," I said gently. "I appreciate you looking out for me. I really like him, though, Henry. It's nice to feel wanted. It's not like I'm eloping with him or anything. It's one date."

He finally slung an arm around me. "If he hurts you, I'm going to hurt him. Understood?"

I smiled, feeling tears build up in my eyes. "Yeah. Thanks."

"Let's go do our thing," Henry said, with fake enthusiasm, and I laughed.

"Oh, look," Simon said sarcastically. "And it's happily ever after again. Goodie. Okay, come on, time to shoot."

But a relieved smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth.

As I walked up to the set, the redhead member of the Three Musketeers slipped me a breath mint.

I chewed it up fast and then I got ready to go. "Henry, I've got a question," I said suddenly.

"Shoot," he said, while Jeanne tugged at his coppery hair.

"Am I really _that _bad of a kisser?"

He broke out into a peal of startled laughter. "What? Where did that come from?"

"You ran away last time I kissed you," I reminded him wryly, shuffling my feet. Come on, folks, let's get a move on before this mint wears off.

A shadow passed across his face, but he made light of it. There was a story he wasn't telling me. "I was just… surprised. I didn't expect them to ask that," he said. "No worries."

His familiar, breezy grin was back, and I pushed my questions into the back of my mind. After all, I was trying to stay on his good side- at least until this scene was over.

Then I could annoy him again, and he'd forgive me again, because that's how a good friendship works.

**AN: Hahahaha. Oh, I love being mean to Henry, because I just love him to death. Wait... that statement doesn't really make sense, does it? Oh well.**

**Thanks for reading! And... I guess the songfic IS next. Didn't I just get finished using my characters from the last one?! I may have to make this song hard. Then again, I don't know what you guys listen to. I'll guess.**


	18. Choke on the Drama

**AN: Songfic tiiiime! –happy music- I have a feeling this is going to be a long one. And you… er… may hate me before it's over. **

**The QOTC isn't from the song featured in the songfic. FYI. (Actually, it's from the runner-up. I had a really hard time deciding between two songs.)**

**Now, to address my absence on all stories: unfortunately, my Word processor has crashed and burned. I've lost anything I've written that I didn't have time to email to myself. I actually am having my friend Orla (peyton818) upload this FOR me. So, once my Word is fixed, I'll bombard you with updates; I'm cranky from not writing. **

**In short… **_**Orla is our hero. **_

**Quote of the Chapter: Battlelines have been drawn out, love.**

Chapter Eighteen: --

_Lipstick has a way of leaving more than just a mark on my sheets_

Megan stared at the camera, hair blowing in the fan-generated wind. "Come on, Meg, gimme a smile," the cameraman called.

She forced one. It felt painful to her.

At the end of the photo shoot she got dressed in everyday clothes and pulled her keys out of her purse. A keychain on the ring held a picture of her and Henry on a beach in Barcelona. Looking at it sent a rush of mixed feelings to her.

She sat in her convertible and shut the door behind her, leaning her arms against the steering wheel.

She was Megan Vicars, a college graduate. She'd been prom queen, valedictorian, and voted Best All Around in her superlatives at her high school in California. She got along with everybody. She was close to being engaged to Henry Cavill- soon to be one of the most desired actors on the planet.

And right now, her life seemed to be one big pool of muck.

She'd called that morning to wish her boyfriend luck on his first day of filming, and to ask him when he was coming over the Atlantic for a vacation.

The teenage girl, Katie, had answered the phone. In Henry's hotel room, early in the morning.

Megan checked her reflection tiredly in the mirror. _More gloss. _She pulled out a tube of cherry lip balm and smoothed it on her lips with a frown.

_Coloring my senses cherry red, at least for this week._

What was it Henry had said?… something about Katie not having a room to go to. True, when she'd been in L.A. visiting, they'd seemed more like brother and sister, with all the lighthearted teasing.

She sat back in her seat, closing her eyes. She and Henry and had been dating for close to two years. She loved him. She'd _thought_ she trusted him. Why didn't she? Why couldn't she just let it go and believe him?

Megan sat in her convertible, remembering the last two years. She'd never had anyone like Henry. He was so thoughtful. He always knew what she needed to make her feel better.

_Kisses under starry night skies, talked about in song_

Even thinking about her last birthday made her tingle all over. Something about Henry made everything special. It's like he lit his surroundings up. She chuckled to herself dryly. _The Human Torch._

Her cell phone rang and she picked up, hoping despite herself it might be Henry. It wasn't. It was her manager. "Meg-meg!" she wheedled. "Where are you? You were supposed to come straight from there to here."

Megan checked the clock. _Oops. _"Sorry… I'm leaving right now. There was a holdup," she lied, and inserted the key in the ignition.

She had a lot of thinking to do today.

_We play along, so bittersweet by our design._

(Los Angeles, California)

"And I was thinking while I was running…"

"About not hitting the trees, I hope," I muttered, heart beating a little faster.

"… I wanted to try something," said Henry, just a small crooked smile curving up the corners of his mouth. My heart was beating a _lot _faster.

I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.

This time, it was different. Maybe because the kiss was expected, my nerves were about to start jumping up and singing the _Peanuts _theme song.

His lips met mine for the second time, and I was already growing red at what the script said I had to do.

I prayed to the dear Lord that Henry wouldn't tease me. I was afraid he'd never let me live it down…

I attacked him.

_What? _

Read the book! It says I do!

Well, it says Bella does. Same difference…

My hands came up around his neck and I pressed myself to every inch of him. He gently pulled away, nostrils flared.

(AN: I am totally doing this scene from memory, because my mom keeps taking my book to work with her. XD So it may not be exact. I can always say it was this way in the script, right?)

"Oops," I muttered, and my cheeks were hotter than I'd felt them in a long time. The really sad thing was… that kiss had felt _great_. Up until I'd had to act like I was possessed. That was just funky.

"And cut," said Bob, just as Henry was about to say his next line.

We both broke and stood side by side, waiting. "All right. Katie, right here, instead of looking like you're constipated…" He showed me the film. "Look like you actually really _want _the guy."

Was it possible for me to blush any harder?

_And I'm sick and tired of writing songs about you._

"You want me," Henry sing-songed, and he poked my side. _Ain't that the truth._

"Let's go again, from the top," Bob called. "Remember what I said. And remember… we all want to go eat dinner, preferably sometime before the places close."

Then you go to an all-night diner, genius. I'm apparently not a one-take kind of girl.

I've decided I no longer like Bob.

I groaned when I saw Henry waiting on me at the edge of the "woods." Did I really have to climb up on his back _again_? Last time we did that we practically had to call in a crane to lift me all the way up there.

Henry crouched into football-player position, ready, and I clumsily grabbed hold of his shoulders and… er… jumped onto his back. His breath went out in one big _oof_; I think I might've landed a little hard. He deserved it for that "you waaant me" comment.

"I made it!" I said happily, bouncing.

"Yeah, that's great, Katie, but please don't move," Henry said, trying to straighten up.

The producers were laughing at us. _Le sigh_.

"And action!" Bob yelled as soon as Henry was up and at 'em. I felt like we were playing football (which is supposed to be a little like rugby, according to Henry. A little. It's amazing the things we end up talking about in dead time). Ready. Breeeak!

After a bit of playing with "Bella the fragile, should've-closed-her-eyes human," it was time again. Already? _And why was I complaining?…_

"And I was thinking while I was running…" Henry smiled at me, and he took my hands in his, making sure I was looking at him.

"About not hitting the trees, I hope," I said firmly, a little winded from the piggyback ride- both in reality and on the script. I'd hit the ground pretty hard.

"… that I wanted to try something." He cupped my cheek in one hand and brought his head closer.

I tilted my head to meet him, and the kiss was soft and unhurried. Then, of course, my hormones were blazing, and I for once let myself tap into them.

Like before, I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed the slight distance between us, crushing myself against him, wanting to feel every line of him against mine.

This time, though, I was smiling.

Henry pulled away again, but something was more genuine in the way he looked away from me for a moment, his eyes wild, mouth taut.

"Oops," I breathed, waiting anxiously.

"That's an understatement." He stared into space over my head, trying to get his breath in control as his eyes returned to normal.

"Should I…" I tried (albeit reluctantly on the actress's part) to separate myself from him, but he shook his head, staying me with one hand at the small of my back. Wherever he touched me, I felt my nerve endings catch fire.

We continued the scene until the whole "too intoxicated to drive" bit. "And you're not?" I asked indignantly (even though I knew he wasn't). "Intoxicated by my presence?"

Keys dangling from one hand, he stared at me, completely serious, then a little grin lit up his face and consecutively the world.

He leaned in and brushed his lips from my ear to my jaw and back again. My breath hitched, my stomach fluttering in a girly way I was rapidly becoming accustomed to. He was way too good at this dazzling bit.

He stopped at the hollow of my ear and kissed it lightly before murmuring against my skin, "Regardless, I have better reflexes."

_This is it. This is the end._

"Annnnnd cut!" Bob yelled. Did yelling make him feel more important or something? "Yes, that was great. Much better. I think we can keep it."

He glanced at the producer, at Simon and Pam, and then, finally, over to Stephenie. She was smiling from ear to ear. She gave him a nod.

"Good work today. We'll see you tomorrow bright and early," he said. "Henry, are you driving?"

Henry looked as confused as me as he started to wipe off his makeup. "Erm. Driving where?"

"To Forks. Simon was supposed to tell you… we're doing some on-location filming starting tomorrow. The green screen just isn't going to cut it, and we were able to get a permit."

"Oh." Henry blinked. "Yeah… I can drive Katie and myself there if you want."

"Wonderful." Bob took off his earpiece. "We're all leaving in a caravan tomorrow around sixish. See you then!"

My mouth was hanging open. "We're going to Forks?"

"Apparently," he answered with a shrug.

"Aaah! We're going to Forks!" I exclaimed, twirling around. "Henry, it's the birthplace of Twilight!"

"Yeah…" he said cautiously, watching me do my dance. "Should be pretty cool."

Oh, he was just no fun.

"Here," Henry said, and rubbed his towelette over my nose. "You missed a spot." _Aww! _Then he grinned a devilish grin. "Oh, no, sorry. It's just freckles."

My nose scrunched up and I glared at him. "I like my freckles perfectly fine, thank you very much."

He just laughed and sidled off. I stood there, fuming for no explicable reason, and then sighed. I should just accept it now: I cannot win where he is concerned. One sideways look or crooked smile and I forget what my argument was in the first place.

Gee. Sound like a book you've read?

_Take off your makeup and put down the camera_

Honestly… sometimes I couldn't remember if I was Bella or Katie. Maybe if the actor playing Edward had been a complete and total jock with no morals or manners in real life I would've been able to keep the movie and my life separate. Now they were combining into some sort of churned-up world that I didn't belong in.

The right side of my face felt like it was vibrating where he'd brushed his lips. I really thought I was going to enjoy the next few months. I began to devise a cunning strategy to have more takes on romance scenes… hm…

Don't look at the computer screen like that. If you were in my position you'd milk it for all it was worth too. Wasted film? Ruining the environment? Ah, well, at least I got an extra kiss from Henry. You'd feel the same way!

Unless you're a guy… and I'm not going any further with that train of thought. In fact that particular thought is going right back to the caboose on the train of thought, where I, the engine of the train of thought, shall never see it again.

Annnyway. Before I started rambling…

My cell phone buzzed and started playing a happy little "da da da, da-da" tune. I'm sure you've heard it sometime. It goes like this: "da, da da, da di dah." And then it changes keys and… oh never mind. Obviously you know no music at all.

I answered the call. "Hello?" I fought the urge to speak in French. The reason I didn't… was that I don't actually know French.

"Hey, it's Jason," a comfortable voice with an Australian accent drawled. "So. Is tonight okay?"

"Um, yeah, sure," I said, my mind scrambling for coherence. See what I mean? Off the set, it's just… strange for me to think of an outside life. Right now, my life is all Twilight.

And trying to foist off bits (or all of, I'm not picky) of Breaking Dawn from Stephenie Meyer. So far, those particular ruses have been unsuccessful, but I'll keep you posted.

"Wait," I said, the Brain latching on to one crucial question. "Did I ever give you my cell phone number?" _'Cause I was thinking I hadn't…_

"No," Jason said cheerily. He didn't elaborate. "I'll pick you up in the lobby of the hotel about… six?"

I checked the clock: it was already five o'clock, and talking with Jason reminded me that I had a date with physiology and trigonometry this afternoon, as well as brief acting lesson with the Triplets. I wouldn't mind making another entry into my Lexicon blog either…

"Better make it six-thirty," I said in resignation. "I have an acting lesson."

"When does it end?" Jason asked.

Did that matter? "Um. Well, technically, it's over at five-thirty," I admitted as I climbed into Henry's SUV. I assumed that I had a ride back to the hotel. Of course, if he spirited me off someplace else, I'd be too busy lost in special right triangles to notice.

"Then six o'clock should be fine, shouldn't it?" Jason asked, sounding a bit territorial. My hackles raised, and I remained silent. Jason realized the reason and softened his voice. "I mean, I made reservations for six o'clock at a nice place… I'm just not sure if I can switch times."

I bit my lip. I guessed he _was_ my tutor… and I'd have a good reason to not have my homework completed… "Okay, then. Six."

"Great," Jason said, back to his cheery-Jason phase. "See you then! Love you," and he hung up.

I stared at the phone in complete astonishment… and a bit of distaste, if I'm being honest. "Love you?" What the heck?

How did I get myself into this?

_Choke on the drama that makes me want to…_

Oh, yeah, now I remember. It's because the only other guy who's ever asked me out since fourth grade had a beard with bugs in it and he stalked me. (AN: Unfortunately… another Silviael life story. Edward, Edward, where art thou??)

Of course, there was my friend Jay. He'd once confessed that he'd had a huge crush on me. But by the time he got up the nerve to tell me, he was already over it and happily dating someone. (AN: Ditto. Okay, okay, I won't interrupt again.)

See why I had said yes so quickly?

"Who was that?" Henry asked, and from the way his eyes tightened he knew I knew he knew I knew we both knew who it had been.

Try saying _that _fifty-five times fast. What, you can do it? Well, er, I think it's hard… Then again, I'm not exactly normal in the coordination department…

"It was. Um. My mom," I said a little too brightly.

He raised his eyebrows at me, firmly keeping his eyes on the road. At least he doesn't _drive _like Edward; maybe it's because, hey, he doesn't have superhuman reflexes.

"Your mom," he said, with a note of sarcasm in it, "wants to meet you at the hotel tonight around six to go to dinner? And she suddenly sings bass instead of soprano?" I stared at him- oops, how did he know all this- and the corners of his mouth softened. _Katie, don't look at his mouth. _"You had your phone on speaker, kid," he informed me, and now the crinkles at his mouth formed a full-fledged Henry Cavill smile.

I blushed. "Okay. No, it wasn't my mom. It was… Jason."

I winced, waiting for his response. I didn't want to get into another argument.

"I bet he doesn't _love_ you nearly as much as I do," Henry said, parking and then turning towards me.

Ohh, my heart stuttered and then picked back up again, double time, as Henry came around to open my door for me. I decided to play along. "How much do you love me?" I asked playfully, and I felt like jumping up and humming the Barney theme song.

I have an obsession with kiddy theme songs, all right? Don't even get me started on how much I adore Mary Poppins.

Henry offered his hand and helped me stand up, then he answered. "This much," he said, and stretched his arms as far as they would go.

I did feel like a little kid, as a matter of a fact, all giddy and happy. No matter how he loved me- as a sister or best friend- Henry _loved _me! "I love you more," I teased, easily falling into the game. I stretched out my arms too and then considered my 5'2" arms against his. Oh, well, I'd given it a shot.

He laughed and caught me up in a bear hug. "That's impossible," he replied, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

My insides were doing the funky chicken.

Acting lesson? Date with another guy? Oh, who cared?

_Tear up the pictures and pages you've saved_

"You'd better get in there," Henry said. "The Triplets will be waiting to ambush you."

I stood back and grinned. "Okay… Hey, I've got an idea." Probably a bad one, knowing my terrible coordination, but anything to keep me close to him another minute. "Do you know how to do the monkey walk?"

"The… the what?"

"The monkey walk," I repeated. I la-la-lad in my head as I slung my arm around him, and he automatically put his arm over my shoulders. Good boy. "Now, when I step with this foot you step with that foot, and then this one…" It took a lot of concentration to not fall over.

We monkey-walked all the way to the hotel lobby, where we were greeted by bright flashes. "Oh, this is perfect!" Some guy with a toupee gushed. "You two are just too cute."

We broke into a dead run. However, since our legs had been connected, we got all tangled up and ended up falling, me on top of him. My face burned like you'd just shoved it onto a burner on high.

Henry picked us up and we started running again for the lobby doors- but not before the flashes caught us in a less desirable shot.

I didn't think I wanted to see the L.A. tabloids tomorrow.

In the lobby we swayed to a stop, eyes seeing stars from the flashing. "Any injuries?" Henry asked, bending over and catching his breath. The sad thing was… he was _serious._

"Not too bad. Nothing I couldn't get on my own," I said cryptically.

He had been right; the Triplets were lying in ambush. They came up singing. Er. "Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on and go plaay!" they sang at me in perfect unison.

_Creating your life of trends and make-believe_

I was trying very hard to keep my back to the photographers in the window, so when the three bodily turned me around and tried to send me into the horde outside, I was a bit miffed. "Whoa now, that's uncalled for," I exclaimed in fear, planting my feet. "Aren't you teaching me acting?"

"And Press Relations," they chimed. "Go relate to the press!"

Henry, my knight in shining armor, rescued me. "They already got pictures, girls. No worries. Just ease on into the acting lesson," he coaxed, and under his influence they reluctantly wheeled me back around and moved to the conference room.

"Thank you," I mouthed at him, and he winked at me before very pointedly picking up a newspaper and reading it. Coincidentally, his face was hidden from the vultures outside.

The thought of me with Henry and the press was pretty horrifying. The thought of just _me _and the press was like the end of the world.

My face had just cooled down by the end of my lesson.

I hurried into the lobby to catch an elevator to my room. I had… twenty minutes to get ready and be back down. So much for homework and the blog. I cast an offhand glance at the lobby doors and realized, to my shock and terror, that several of the reporters had, er, brought materials to camp out. Didn't they have lives?

Oh… this _was_ their lives.

All the celebrities must stay here or something, I guessed. The ones that don't have a nice condo in Beverly Hills, anyway.

On my way up Henry stopped me. He had on reading glasses, and they made him look very… smart. Hey! He can be my tutor instead of Jason!

Then I felt guilty. Jason was okay.

"I have something to show you," Henry called softly, and I noticed he had a laptop at his table. I shrugged.

"Shoot."

He held up a hand as I tried to look over his shoulder. "Before I say anything else, promise you won't get mad."

At him? Pssh. Please. "I promise."

"You know I love you and I feel the need to protect you," Henry continued on his spiel.

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too, but I've got a date in… eighteen minutes. Spit it out, buddy." Now my insides weren't just doing the funky chicken; they were break-dancing, doing the can-can, going crazy in general. Twice today! Twice!

Henry watched me carefully. "The date's what I wanted to talk to you about." He opened the screen. "I Googled your date. Jason. And some of what I found… I think you ought to see it before you go anywhere with him."

I take it back. I can be mad at Henry if I _really_ try. "Henry, come on. He's a nice guy! A little overbearing, maybe, but…"

"And," he said curtly, "he makes a habit of dating the girls he tutors. The ones he thinks have a lot of money and a lot of power. You don't want to see the amount of restraining orders that have been filed against him."

"A restraining order?" I asked in amazement, eyes narrowing. "Henry, guess what? I don't have money and I don't have power."

"You will, though," Henry reminded me. "Really soon, Katie. I'm not saying don't go on your date tonight." Then why did he look so stony as he said that? "Go. Maybe you'll have fun and I'm wrong. Maybe he's changed since then. Just… be really careful, all right?"

"Yeah," I said, and his concern didn't soften me any. "Yeah." I turned around, my head a mess, and walked toward the elevators. As the doors opened to one I hesitated and turned back around.

Henry was staring at the computer screen, eyes blank.

I rode the elevator up to my floor, fuming. Meddlesome, overprotective Greek god.

_I have no place in my heart for a criminal like you to dwell_

Maybe Jason had been like that in the past. But I needed to find it out for myself, not be afraid to try just because I'm afraid I might get hurt.

I unlocked my door, planning haphazardly what I wanted to wear, and wondering if it was worth it to attempt using makeup. All these distracting, unusually feminine thoughts came to an end when I opened my door.

"Hey, sweetheart," Jason said, lounging on my loveseat. He turned off the TV and stretched, standing up. "How was your acting lesson?"

My jaw about hit the floor. "What… I… how did you get in here?!" I asked, heart pounding- not the Henry's-about-to-kiss-me kind of pounding. More along the lines of oh-my-Carlisle-there's-an-axe-murderer-in-my-bedroom-what-should-I-do kind of pounding.

"Let's just say I know how to pick a lock," Jason said with a small smile. He was precisely as unreachable about this as he'd been about my cell phone number.

"Oh. Um." My mind scrambled to think of anything but restraining orders. "I… need to get changed."

Jason was wearing dress pants and a shirt with a tie. That meant we were going someplace upscale… did I even have anything upscale with me?

Then again, I hadn't seen my closet since Carmen had been through here. "All right, I'll wait," Jason said with a shrug, turning the TV back on. _Well, go right ahead and make yourself at home._

I opened my dresser with trepidation and felt myself go numb with shock.

There were _skirts. _And _dresses_. And they were so _short._ I mean, you know it's short if it's short on me, right?

And bikinis that were barely there, lingerie straight from a Victoria's Secret catalogue, and a whole drawer of designer sunglasses. Prada, Gucci, Dolce. I admit I'm bad about losing sunglasses, but this was ridiculous.

Another drawer devoted to perfumes and body sprays. I felt an ache in my throat. What happened to Bath and Body Works? That was more than good enough for me.

Reluctantly, I stared at the dresses. That one wasn't too revealing… and it was a little black dress, which is supposed to make you look older.

I changed hurriedly in the bathroom. The dress wasn't merely form-fitting, it was skintight. I checked the size: it was a two. I was a four. Maybe the dress had been bought for Emily. I sighed and looked in the mirror. It was a little tight in the cleavage, but otherwise okay- good enough, when Jason was waiting literally on my doorstep.

_In this endeavor, to make this last forever_

I put on a little mascara and lip stuff, and decided my hair was okay too. It would've looked better put up, but I didn't have time. And it was still all gelled and curled at the ends from the set, so it would be okay. I kept repeating that word in my head: it was okay.

I'd closed the screen between my bedroom and the living room of the suite, so I tiptoed out to my closet and reluctantly investigated the shoes.

Ew. High heels, high heels, high heels, high_er _heels. Why would anyone need leopard-print snakeskin ankle boots?

I picked the most sensible black shoe I could find with a toe covering. I'd meant to paint my toenails, but with Jason in the next room, I didn't feel like it anymore.

I looked in the full-length mirror and saw a Hollywoodized version of Katie Miller. She'd have to go as soon as I got back. For now, she'd work.

I opened the screen and Jason looked up. He looked… shocked. "Wow," he said. "You know, most girls would take an hour and a half to look that good."

I felt my cheeks going red. "Thanks." _I think…_ "You look nice too," I said belatedly. And he did. Creepy or not, he was very cute, if a total opposite of Henry. Where Henry looked like he was chiseled out of stone, Jason was soft. Henry had dark hair and pale skin; Jason was blond and tan.

He stood and offered his arm to me. I took it, and for the first time I felt like maybe tonight could work out pretty well after all.

Everyone had some bad habits, you know? And beyond the overeagerness (for lack of a better word) he seemed to have decent manners.

Henry was still in the lobby when we came down, and my teeth set together. _Please don't see us, please don't look up. _We might've made it out unnoticed, but my characteristic grace came into play. I tripped, and let out a little squeak, and he glanced up.

His eyes grew as big as saucers as Jason asked, "All right, Katie?" He was looking at me in worry.

"Yeah," I admitted, smiling up at him. "I'm fine. I'm just not coordinated."

Jason laughed. "It's adorable."

Aw. I blushed, but it was a nice blush this time.

_I'm just delirious; you can't be serious_

Henry had halfway stood up, and then he sank back into his seat. I tried not to look at him, but I could feel my ears burning. What? What was so different about me tonight, to make him look like that?

I saw the reporters lurking outside and braced myself.

"Hey!" They started calling. "What's your name?" They were addressing Jason.

"Jason Van der Graff," he answered, and we kept moving as quickly as we could without me tripping again.

_Why _hadn't I gone out the back door?

"So, Katie, how does it feel to have two men at once?" one of them asked, keeping pace with us. "Henry Cavill and your date." She thrust the microphone at me.

Now, I know I shouldn't have said anything, but that was too much. "I'm not going out with Henry Cavill," I said through my teeth. "He's my friend. We work together. That's all."

Jason was smiling when we finally got to what I assumed was his car. "You handled that well," he complimented me, and opened the door for me.

I slid in as ladylike as I could. "So you haven't dated Cavill?" Jason asked.

"No. He's twenty-five."

He shrugged. "It wouldn't stop some girls from dating him or some guys from dating you."

"And," I continued over him, "he has a steady girlfriend."

Jason smiled, taking his eyes off the traffic to give me a sideways glance. "So you're all mine."

I couldn't help it; I grimaced a little. "Um… I guess," I said, not knowing what to say.

We arrived soon at a fancy Italian restaurant, with a patio and everything. I opened my door before Jason could get it for me. He offered me his arm again.

"Reservation for Van der Graff," Jason said, and the hostess took us to a seat out on the patio. It was a perfect-temperature autumn night, with just enough of a breeze to ruffle your hair. I breathed in deeply. This was beautiful.

Jason pulled out my chair for me and I sat, looking at the menu. About the only words I recognized were "ravioli" and "lasagna." Remember how I said I didn't know French? Well. I don't know Italian either. Shocker, that.

The waitress came. She was very pretty, but Jason didn't even seem to notice. He smiled over at me. "The house wine for me. Katie? Wine, champagne, whatever you want."

I felt the pressure building up behind my skull. Um… wasn't Jason nineteen? Not twenty-one? Then again, I didn't want to remind him how young _I_ was. "Champagne, please," I said, trying to sound confident, and the waitress nodded.

After a glass or two I began to feel a little heady… maybe I should stop… but Jason wasn't. I bit down hard on my lip. If he got drunk, I didn't even know how to drive, and after our last conversation I was definitely _not _calling Henry to pick me up.

"Is everything okay, Katie?" he asked, reaching across the table and taking my hand. Now was the time to say something, if I wanted to.

But he started to rub gentle circles on my hand, and I shook my head, smiling. "Everything's wonderful."

And it was. I had never felt this good before about myself. I just… halfway wished it was happening with someone else, and I halfway wished I wasn't half drunk.

Besides the fact that I didn't know much about drinking- how many glasses did it take to get drunk?- the night was going really well.

But my head _was _buzzing… I probably shouldn't have asked for a refill… I'll ask for water when the waitress comes back.

_You are so infamous for leaving me a mess._

(At the hotel)

Henry's cell phone rang and he answered it, hoping despite himself it might be Katie. Then he felt guilty for thinking that as soon as he heard Megan's voice.

"Hi, love," he greeted her. "How's Spain?"

There was silence on the other end for a second. "I'm in France."

He winced. "Oh, yeah. Sorry. It's been a long day."

"I agree," she said, and he felt the first inklings of unease.

"What happened?" Henry asked, and wished fervently that everything was okay.

She was silent another long moment. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, to be honest."

"Oh," Henry said, and it began to dawn on him that this wasn't a good thing.

"I… Henry, I love you, but I think we need to take a break," Megan said, and he heard her hiccup. Was she… was she _drunk? _Megan didn't drink- too much unhealthy stuff for someone in her career.

"Megan, don't," Henry said, realization trickling in on him.

"I have to. I just have to think. This long-distance thing isn't working, Henry. I never see you."

"This is about Katie, isn't it?" Henry asked coldly. "About this morning. Meg, I was telling the truth. We didn't even sleep in the same room!"

"I'll think about it, Henry," Megan said softly, her words slurred. She _was _drunk. "Good-bye."

She hung up and Henry slowly laid his cell phone against the table, in shock.

He'd have to call the jeweler and get the ring refunded. Apparently, it wasn't going to be necessary.

_She gets what she wants and she breaks what she gets_

Megan had always been a little… melodramatic, but that was one of the things he'd loved, even if it rubbed him the wrong way sometimes. He figured it went with the whole "supermodel" career.

And she'd always been prone to jealousy… but this was weird, even for her.

Then, as the final straw, Katie walked in.

She was on the arm of Jason, leaning heavily against him. Her dress was wrinkled- why?

With a lump in his throat he realized Katie looked just as drunk as Megan had sounded.

_Get out while you can or she'll tear you to pieces_

His blood boiled when he saw Jason kiss her good night. She kissed him back, and Henry didn't like how low Jason's hands were placed.

Jason had known Katie for how long? A day, day and a half? He had no right to be touching her like that, especially while she wasn't clear-headed.

He got up and tiredly walked over to them. "I'm going up to her floor, if you want me to see her into her room," he said.

With unease he noticed that although Katie was out of it, Jason's eyes were perfectly lucid. How had the guy gotten fifteen-year-old Katie to drink?

In any case, he didn't want Jason taking Katie to her hotel room. Not tonight.

_Are you having a good time, sweetheart?_

"I'll take her, but thanks," Jason said with an easy smile, his arm around Katie's bare shoulders.

"It's not a problem," Henry said through gritted teeth. "We've got to leave for Forks tomorrow anyway. She should get to bed." It was almost eleven o'clock at night, and they still had to pack.

Katie looked up at him and grinned wildly. "Henry… when did you get here?"

"I've always been here," said Henry, glaring at Jason as they both took hold of one of Katie's arms. "And I always will be."

Katie stared at him in confusion. "What?"

Jason looked away from Henry first, and then released his grip on Katie. "Okay, okay, I was just going to see her upstairs."

"I appreciate that, but it's not necessary," Henry replied, backing down from his 'mountain lion' tone to his mere 'watch yourself' tone.

_Carry on home. I'll be waiting miles and miles away_

Henry supported Katie, taking her to the elevator. She gently traced the shiny, mirror-like walls, with a dreamy smile on her face.

Henry felt his eyes growing prickly as he thought of the two most important girls in his life: they were both drunk. Why couldn't Katie just listen to him for once? Why couldn't she learn to take care of herself?

In ordinary circumstances he'd have talked to her about her date, maybe done a Spanish Inquisition bit. Now he was reduced to holding her hair back as she leaned over the toilet, growing more lucid and more lousy-feeling with each heave.

_Leaving you to be forever seventeen_

Megan. He wished he could talk to Katie about Megan. And he didn't know what to do about the packing; he didn't even know where Katie left her suitcase.

"Henry," Katie whispered, and she sounded like herself again- a sore-throated, headachy Katie, but still Katie. "It wasn't his fault. I was stupid."

She looked so pitiful that Henry pulled her onto his lap and put his arms around her. She laid her head against his chest and cried.

"Katie? Do you remember… what happened before you got here?" Henry asked tentatively, rubbing her back. _Please don't let him have taken advantage of her._

"He dropped me off," she said. "Nothing else."

He let out a long, relieved sigh. At least taking care of Katie was taking his mind off Megan. "It's okay, then," he said. "You're going to be okay."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry." She kept repeating it, as though if she just kept apologizing, it would make what had happened that evening go away.

_Cleaning up the messes that you've made._

**AN: This is a nineteen-page-chapter. Oh my Carlisle! I don't even want to know the word count. And believe it or not, that was **_**rushing **_**what happened. (Although you might've noticed it got rushed… XD) I thought about making this two separate chapters, but nah. Just one super long one. **

**If you know the song, tell me the artist and song names, either in a review or a private message. Thanks for reading! (And remember to give peyton818 a humongous Emmett-sized hug)**


	19. You'll Be the Death of Me

**AN: This is important. Anyone who knew the song, you're going to have to be in the next chapter, because it turns out my Word crashing was the preamble to my entire COMPUTER crashing and I had all your names on my hard drive. My dad's recovering the hard drive, but I can't wait to post this any longer- so you'll all (yes, ALL) be in the next chapter. **

**Which means that one's gonna be random and long, but that's how it goes, yo.**

**And I had the weirdest dream last night. At first it was a mix of the Triwizard Tournament and America's Next Top Model, and then Tyra Banks took me for a shopping spree and Stephenie Meyer picked me up with two of her kids and her husband for a party in Fiji. (How she planned to drive from West Virginia to Fiji, I've no idea, but hey, it was cool while it lasted.)**

**Yeah…. That was odd. Thought I'd share.**

**Quote of the Chapter: Be careful what you wish for, 'cause you just might get it.**

**Chapter Nineteen: You'll Be the Death of Me**

After Henry left, sometime after midnight, I curled up in bed and covered up with as many blankets as I could find. The lights were out and I began to feel stifled in the silent darkness.

I got up, dragging my blankets behind me, and sat down on the couch in the next room, turning on the TV.

The soft noise filled up all the empty space in the suite and I relaxed, picking up the phone. I dialed home- something I hadn't thought about doing in a couple of days.

"Mom?" I whispered hopefully as the rings passed. My stomach plummeted when I heard the answering machine pick up: "Hi! We're not available at the moment, but please leave your name and number and we'll call you back."

I'd forgotten how late it was. "Hey, Mom, it's Katie." I paused, fighting the lump in my throat. "Just… just wanted to check in. Sorry for calling so late, it's been a rough day."

I began to talk more, but then I didn't know what to say- how do you tell your mom you've done something bad?- but then, as I struggled for words, the machine clicked off and I had to hang up.

I stared at the phone for a long moment and put it away. I pulled the blankets a little closer around me and laid down on the sofa, asleep with the TV in the background.

When my alarm blared at four-thirty, I groaned loudly, twisting around in a feeble attempt to pretend I didn't hear it. Then my headache hit me and I couldn't have gone back to sleep if I'd wanted.

I stood, dropping all but the two lightest blankets, and stretched, raising my arms high above my head. Henry wasn't getting up until five-fifteen, but I figured that I still had to pack for Forks.

I'd never had a hangover before, and one thing was for sure: it wasn't going to happen again. My head was pounding, but thankfully the ground stayed where it was supposed to.

I tried to put some _oomph_ into my step- I wanted to get to the studio on time, after all- and then sighed to myself, half in relief and half in annoyance. My suitcase was sitting on top of the luggage rack, packed and ready to go.

I swear, if Henry didn't stop taking care of me so well, he was going to end up like a mother hen.

My face flooded crimson as I realized: Henry Cavill had gone through my underwear drawers.

Noooooo!

I rushed and checked to see what that Carmen woman had given me for underwear when she'd swapped all my clothes. If there were any, _any _thongs she was so fired.

I nearly collapsed on my bed when I saw she'd let me keep my own underwear. No thongs in sight. Potential embarrassment evaded.

I had enough time now to take a bubble bath if I wanted, but I got a quick but nevertheless hot shower instead and pulled my hair into a ponytail, lugging my suitcase downstairs.

In the shower I'd thought about the fact that I always wanted to be treated like an adult, yet the instant I was given the opportunity I blew it out of the water.

Maybe I was just a kid after all.

I went to the concierge and ordered room service for Henry, and asked if they could put the words "thank you" on the muffin in icing.

I smiled to myself and ordered breakfast, sitting in the coffee lounge. I connected to the Internet and wrote a new blog for the Lexicon, and then I just people-watched. I checked the clock; it was five twenty. Henry would be down pretty soon.

Just as that thought cheered me up, I noticed the last person I wanted to see right now walking through the lobby: Jason.

I grabbed for the nearest magazine and held it up over my face, slumping in my seat to make me even shorter and unremarkable. I held my breath until I heard the doors shut behind him.

I put down the magazine, white-faced, and then my brain registered what my eyes had already seen.

**WHEN ONE ISN'T ENOUGH**

_For upcoming teen starlet Katie Miller (co-starring as Bella Swan in film _Twilight, _based on the bestselling book by Stephenie Meyer) hanging out with new Hollywood hottie Henry Cavill (as Edward Cullen, her costar) doesn't seem to be enough on or off set. On set, she reputedly is quite the charmer, and off set, well… isn't a picture worth a thousand words? _

There were two pictures on the page: one of me and Henry looking surprised, one of Jason and me all dressed up.

_Seen last night at an upper-scale Italian restaurant with her second beau, Australian Jason van der Graff, Miller has denied any romantic connections with Cavill. However, the two are "like two peas in a pod," says Cavill's makeup artist, Jeanne Mack._

If I had the power to do so, Henry would be finding himself with a new makeup artist on the way to Forks. With a sinking heart I read the final snippets:

_Even worse: is Cavill cheating on his girlfriend of three years (Spanish supermodel Megan Riviers, seen most often in the summer Cover Girl commercial) with Miller? While the facts are uncertain, the gist of last night is undeniable: there's something going on. Talk about making an entrance, Miss Miller! _

As soon as I finished reading, a chair pulled out next to me and I snapped the magazine shut. "Good morning," I said briskly, hiding all traces of chagrin.

"Thanks for breakfast," he said with a melting smile, and I raised my eyebrows and pointed to my suitcase.

"You're welcome. Thanks for being my stand-in mother."

He laughed at my _somewhat_ sarcastic tone. "You're welcome."

I swear. I love him to death, but the guy's impossible.

"By the way," he said conversationally, "Interesting Hello Kitty pajamas."

I gasped, mortified. "The what?!"

"Or, excuse me, the Garfield nightgown, or… shall I go on?" Henry teased.

Yep. Carmen was dead. Of all things she'd done away with, she'd let me keep those? My grandma kept giving them to me, what can I say? "Shut it," I said, pointing a piece of bacon at him threateningly.

Henry was smiling- it looked like he was having a good morning. I hated to have to ruin it for him, but I guess that's my job. He was the sunshine and I was the rain. The lightning. The thunder. Yeah. You get the picture. "Hello Kitty pjs are nothing," I said with a completely straight face. "After all, according to this morning's tabloid, you're cheating on Megan with me. You two-timer! How come I didn't even know we were going out?"

His face fell minutely. "Oh, great."

"Yeah." I let him take the magazine, more serious now. "Sorry. I'll maintain a foot-long distance in public from now on," I said, and I was regrettably only half-joking.

"No, you won't, that's stupid," he said absently. _Good. That might've presented some complications while we were filming. _"Anyway, it doesn't really matter. Megan and I aren't together anymore."

Of all the things I'd expected, that wasn't one of them. "Huh?" I said intelligently.

He looked up at me wryly, and I noticed for the first time the new shadows under his eyes. _Keep it up, Henry, and you really will look like a sexy little vampire._

"She called last night, while you were gone," he informed me, his voice steady. Ya can't fool me, buddy: he may sound over it, but his eyes were flickering.

"What? Why didn't you say anything? We could've grabbed some Ben and Jerry's," I said stupidly. I was really racking up the intelligence points this morning.

He looked at me incredulously. "You were a bit busy," he said.

"Oh…" I whispered, and I felt even worse. "I'm sorry, Henry. Are… are you okay?"

He nodded abruptly. "I'm fine. I should've seen it coming." He stood up. "We should probably get going or we'll be late."

Forget the whole no-touching-in-public thing. Unless there was a reporter hidden in the plant behind us, no one would notice. I stood, too, and embraced him. "You're not fine," I said. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Hey, it's not your fault," Henry said, hugging me back. "You do have a life outside of my issues."

I laughed. "If you've got issues, then I'm a mental case."

He laughed with me, and I gave him a good hard squeeze before stepping back and lifting my suitcase. He grinned at me, and I gave him an appraising look. Besides the fact that I noted- again- how well copper hair suited him, I saw that he looked happy enough to go ahead to the studio.

"Let's roll, peeps," I said, putting on my 100 UV ray protection sunglasses.

He shook his head at me and grabbed both my suitcase and his. I ran after him, protesting, and he just kept grinning until we reached the car.

Henry tossed our luggage into the backseat and we drove over to the studio. Despite it being not quite six in the morning, it looked like an entire caravan was waiting in the center of L.A. The parked drivers were getting annoyed glances from driving drivers.

They'd get over it.

We climbed out and tried to find Bob to check in. After stopping to chat with Stephenie, who was following us in a few days (she had something else to do- imagine that!), Simon (who was most definitely not a morning person), Orla (who was having trouble fitting all her supplies into one case), and the newly signed Leila Ross (Alice) and Annabella O'Malley (Rosalie), we finally found him.

As we walked, I decided that this was a very good beginning to the day. I loved the lighthearted, bustling chaos of everyone trying to load props, scenery, makeup, and equipment; everyone was talking and moving and just being alive.

I walked with a new spring in my step, and all thoughts of Jason and home faded away. I was a very lucky girl to even be here.

"Hey, Bob!" Henry called loudly over the noise. Bob turned in our direction. He looked like he hadn't even gone to bed last night: he was in the same, now-rumpled clothes. He had two cell phones and four walkie-talkies clipped to his belt as well as a headset, and he was trying to talk to three people at once. He gestured impatiently for us to hold on.

Someone held up something for him to look at- a storyboard, I thought to myself. It looked like a black-and-white comic strip. Bob rummaged in his pocket, still talking to someone else, brought out a Sharpie, and slashed out one scene, writing on another, then nodded briskly.

Poor guy.

Finally, Bob said brusquely, "Well, it's not what I wanted, Marie, but it will have to do, we're editing that tomorrow." He snapped the phone shut, clipped it to his belt, and resumed talking to the guy on the walkie talkie. "Do it, but be careful. That's some five-hundred dollar fake fur right there."

I looked at Henry in bewilderment. Ummm… when was fake fur used in Twilight?

Bob clipped that to his belt as well and finally glanced at us. "Sorry. Talking to my wife's dry-cleaner."

Oh. No fake fur involved on set. Goodie.

"Just saying hi, letting you know we're here," Henry said. "Looks like everything's a bit busy."

Bob laughed. "Not too bad. I've seen worse days." I repeat: poor guy. "If you two want to take off, that's okay. You might need some extra time anyway."

Henry frowned. "We will? Why?"

Bob smacked his forehead. "Oh, no, I must've dialed the wrong hotel. You're staying at the Plaza, right?"

"No," Henry said warily, getting that deer-in-the-highlights look. "The Hilton."

"That would explain it," Bob sighed. "I wondered why you didn't have a safety helmet on, Henry: I want you to start teaching Katie to drive. We're running behind schedule."

Henry took a big step back. "_What?_" he spluttered, his jaw dropping. "Bob… I don't think that's a good idea… I learned how to drive on a stick shift and on the opposite side of the car!"

Bob thought for a second. "Oh yeah. You're British." He shrugged it off. "Just teach her which pedal's the brake. That's all she needs for now."

"Yeah… er… sure," Henry said uncertainly.

Behind him, a techie patted his shoulder. "Here. You'll need this more than me." He handed Henry his hard hat.

"Thanks," Henry said. He looked like a man going to his doom. "If I don't ever see you again, Bob, just know it's been great."

"Hey," I said, offended. "I'll be careful. I'm not that much of a klutz." Before anyone could correct me, I sighed and admitted, "Okay. Yeah, I am. We're both dead."

**AN: I'm leaving for vacation for a week, but my dad's got the hard drive fixed, so the chapter with you guys in it should be up when I get back. **

**By the way: anyone who's in favor of me changing the ages from fifteen to sixteen and twenty-five to nineteen, say aye. It's very awkward writing HxK fluff (not to mention unrealistic) when they're ten years apart. **

**Feedback's appreciated on that point especially. Thanks, as ever, for reading and for the AMAZING amount of encouragement I got last chapter! (And give Orla another hug. She's uploading again for me, because fanfiction isn't letting me log in...) Hey. You know what would be amazing? If we could get to a thousand reviews on this story. I'd feel pretty darn loved, I would... just a comment. XD **

**--Silviael, Silv, Sarah, That Crazy Chick, what's in a name?**


	20. Feels Like Twilight

AN: The people who got the song will be divided up into the next two chapters- one, because there are a lot of you, and two, because I still need a name for half of you, and as I can't log in, I can't message you and ask! _I only took names up until July 22,_ three days before I last updated. Sorry, but I decided I already had more than enough people.

If there is "nn" by your name, leave me your first name in a review or message, please. (If anyone needs to talk to me, or wants to, send me a PM with your email in it. I can still read PMs, I just can't send them.)

People who will be in this chapter:

**Ainsey- Lynn **

Fanatical Clever Teenager- Kay

Heartless Magic- Devi

Quote Mistress- Andie

**Silkumbrellas- Emily **

GoldenEyesRock- Sam (recurring role)

Brooklyn- Brooklyn (recurring role)

Next chapter:

Speed-Is-Everything: Taylor

Em'sGirl23: Amy

Dancrgrl16714: Lexie

Word Nazi: Emily

Voided- Meg

**Peppermint.twist808: nn**

**MoonShineMystery: nn**

**LovinTopazEyes91: nn**

**MyForbiddenFruit: nn**

Now, thanks for being patient- on to the chapter!

Quote of the Chapter: It's getting hot in here. (Except we're not taking off our clothes, thanks.)

**Chapter Twenty: Feels Like Twilight**

I tapped my foot against the floor impatiently. It had already been two hours, and we weren't even to California's border yet. First we'd had to stop at the hotel because Henry had forgotten to get his mail- his _fan _mail- and then I realized that I needed to go up to my room and get my stuffed dog, Arrow, because Arrow _always _went traveling with me.

We'd gotten stuck in traffic, stopped half an hour outside L.A. for a second breakfast and snacks, gone to the bathroom twice (once for me, once for Mr. Macho who refused to stop until I threatened to take the wheel ahead of schedule), and then gone through a drive-through for lunch and getting detoured away from the interstate for twenty miles.

"I'm sorry, Katie, but are you jinxing me?" Henry asked as we moved along at a snail's pace. "At this rate walking would be faster."

"Why don't you get out and try it?" I said testily. "We'll see who gets there first, shall we?"

He raised an eyebrow, grinning. "Someone's got a bit of a temper."

"Someone is deliberately trying to annoy me," I reiterated, tapping my foot harder and faster. I swear… I love the guy impossibly, but he can get under my skin like no one else.

He reached over and grabbed my leg and my face heated up like a megawatt toaster oven. "Please stop," he said gently, with a heart-wrenching smile. Oh. The leg-tapping?

"Um, okay," I muttered self-consciously, hyperaware of his hand resting on my leg. He was still looking at me with a little smirk. "Keep your eyes on the road, buddy," I said with more strength. "You're not setting a good example."

He withdrew the hand, placing it firmly back on the steering wheel. I breathed a deep sigh of relief- whether for my life or my sanity, I wasn't sure. If he kept pulling little tricks like that, I wasn't sure I would make it to Forks without melting into a pile of goo on my seat.

At one point we came to a dead halt. Henry glanced at the street name. "I guess they call it a Parkway for a reason," he cracked, and I couldn't help laughing.

After a good, solid ten minutes Henry got out and stretched his legs. _Legs… no. Katie, don't think about his legs. As a matter of fact don't think about any part of his anatomy. _

I was blushing from my own thoughts. Oh, my, that was terrible.

All of a sudden I heard a shriek. My head whipped around- please don't let there be an accident, or we really would be here all night- and saw Henry sprinting back to the car.

"Strap in tight," he instructed me, eyes wide in a way I'd only seen once before, so it could only mean one thing: _Sam. _

"I need a ride, Henry!" The dark-haired girl yelled, running up alongside the car as Henry started the engine. "How can you leave me out here all alone?"

Henry eased out of his spot in line and began trying to legally maneuver his way further up. Sam followed him easily. "Waaaiit!" she called. "Henry, I love you, don't leave me! Are you so cruel?"

"Katie, forget you ever saw this," he said, and swore a mild oath. He pulled out into the grass alongside the road. He gunned the motor and we tore along, leaving Sam in the rearview mirror. "Why does she follow me everywhere?" he groaned.

I shrugged matter-of-factly. "Evil plans, I'm sure. She probably hopes she can get the opportunity to kidnap you and force you to take her to prom."

"You're kidding."

"It's what most crazy fangirls would do," I said breezily, and his face- if this was possible- paled even more. In fact, I thought I saw a green tinge on his lovely facial structure.

"How do you know?" he asked in amusement.

I was saved from answering that by the sound of a siren behind us.

Henry braked and then promptly began banging his head against the steering wheel.

"To make a wonderful day even better…" he said with a dark scowl.

I choked. "It's coming after _us_?!"

He just groaned in assent as the car pulled up next to us. I saw the officer was female and had a plan flash into my mind.

"Stop complaining and fix your hair," I instructed quickly, leaning over and making it properly 'I'm adorable, I just got out of bed' styled. "Now when she comes up smile sadly and explain you're taking your little sister to a hospital in Seattle where I'm being treated for a chronic, contagious illness."

He frowned. "Why? It won't work."

"It will if you lay on the charm," I said hurriedly- the officer was getting out. Henry still looked confused. "Look. The officer's of the female persuasion. It will work."

"But I don't know if I can convince her…" Henry mumbled.

I said something vindictive under my breath and practically yelled, "Mr. Cavill, you are a professional-freaking-actor, aren't you?" His jaw dropped open. " _Aren't you_?" I said with a full-on glare in his direction. My heart pounded. "So _act_."

That said, I took my own advice and began pretending to be chronically, contagiously ill. Who says I don't have the tough part? After all, I have to shut up, and that's a bit difficult for me in times like this.

Henry rolled down the window and, thankfully, had on his wide-eyed-and-innocent expression by now. "Hello, ma'am," he said sweetly, taking a sideways look at her nametag.

"Don't overdo it," I muttered, pretending to cough.

She raised her eyebrow at him. "Too good to wait in line like everyone else?" she asked sarcastically.

"No, Lynn," he said, resting his arm on the doorframe- positioning himself closer to her. "May I call you Lynn?" She rolled her eyes, but nodded, and looked a little mellower. "I'm _not_ better than anyone else," he emphasized earnestly. "But my sister has a doctor's appointment in Sacramento this evening, and I wanted to make it in time."

"Let me guess," Lynn sighed. "She has a terminal illness."

"No, Lynn," Henry said, laughing softly. "We're hoping she'll be all right, but it is contagious."

"And who is this doctor?" she asked him- testing him. My heart leaped. Maybe she was actually going to believe him… Uh-oh. Did Henry actually know any doctors in Sacramento? I doubted it.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen," he lied with a straight face, and I nearly choked. "He specializes in blood transfusions." Now I did choke. Henry was seriously, amazingly awesome.

She stared in at me for a second. "I've never heard of him."

"He moves around a lot," Henry said.

She frowned. "Then you ought to have a prescription with you."

"No, it's at our parents' house," he said. "They live in the suburbs of Sacramento. In fact, they were expecting us for dinner tonight."

He was putting on his full charm: looking up from beneath his eyelashes, smoldering at her, his voice smooth and velvety. Lynn, tough officer that she was, couldn't help it: she smooshed like ice cream in the sun. "All right, all right, I'll let it pass this once, but wait like everyone else; it gets better after a few miles. You can always reschedule."

Henry nodded dutifully. "Yes, of course. Thank you."

She pointed to the other side of the car. "Stay on that half of the line, mister, and I hope you feel better," she added, looking at me.

I coughed lightly into my hand and saw her shrink back a tad. "Thanks," I said hoarsely, and she got back in her car, driving away after we pulled back into line.

Henry and I simultaneously let out a long breath. "That was close," we said in unison.

Then, inexplicably, we began to laugh.

"How far away is Forks again?" I asked tiredly; it was already noon.

"Approximately eighteen hours and thirty minutes with no stops or delays or roundabouts, according to Map Quest," Henry said cheerfully. "Twenty-one hours and twenty-one minutes the way we're going. Big country."

"What?!" I exclaimed. "And exactly how far have we gone, would you say?" We'd been driving for about five hours now…

Henry thought a second. "We're not too far outside L.A.- I'd guess we've only covered an hour's distance, tops."

"_Why _couldn't Stephenie Meyer have picked somewhere easy to get to?" I grumbled. Another twenty and a half hours in the car… at least. "Wait. Are we going to stop at a hotel or something?"

Henry nodded, shoving a handful of papers at me. "Yeah, it's all in there. Bob gave it to me before we left. Everyone's staying in the same place tonight, so we get to Forks at the same time tomorrow."

We would be spending the night in Brookings, Oregon… another ten and a half hours away.

"You have got to be kidding," I muttered, and then tried to shut up. This was not Henry's fault. It was Bob's fault and _Bob_ was going to hear all about it.

If we ever see him again, I mused. After all, Henry was going to teach me to drive, and he may not be able to walk away from that one.

"Why didn't we just fly?" I asked, imagining it: we'd be in Forks in two hours, after sitting in first class and watching movies.

"There weren't any planes going out in time, and Bob wants you to learn how to drive," Henry said. I gritted my teeth: why did he have to be so chipper?

Why did I have to be such a brat?

I inhaled and exhaled deeply as we inched along the highway. C'mon, c'mon, folks. If we don't stop ANYWHERE, even for dinner, it'll still be ten or ten thirty before we get to Brookings.

It was with that gloomy thought that Henry said slowly, "Katie, does it feel warm to you in here?"

"A little," I admitted with a shrug. I just thought Henry liked to travel warm, and it _was _his car.

"The AC's turned up on the highest notch, though," he said, and my brain comprehended what he was saying.

"We're losing our air conditioning?"

I really did jinx us this time, because as soon as I said it we heard something sputter and die.

No air conditioning in September. For another twenty hours of traveling.

We ended up with the windows rolled down, but the hot coast air blew in at us, and it was only a little better.

"And who, exactly, was the one all excited to get to Forks?" Henry grumbled when we were at last out of the deadlock traffic and cruising on down the road.

"I still am excited," I said firmly. "Somewhere deep down inside of me. And once we're actually almost there I'll be _ecstatic_."

Henry was a very responsible driver. He filled up the gas once it was half empty. "I usually don't," he said when I asked him about it. "But this doesn't seem to be a lucky trip." I imagined Bob coming up on us and seeing his two stars stranded on the side of the road with no gas, no air conditioning, no food…

It sounded like "Survivor"!

Besides the AC going out, we didn't have any more problems for a while. We traveled a good four hours, Henry going only _slightly _above the speed limit, and then stopped at a gas station to get food. "After this, we're going to try to keep going until we get to Brookings," Henry told me.

This was the longest drive with the best scenery I'd ever had. Between Henry and the coast, it was sort of awesome at times. Then a really bad smell would come through the window and I'd change my mind.

At the gas station we got held up a bit- and I blame Henry, because it sure wasn't me that the attendant was looking at so hard. "Hi," she said breathlessly, scurrying up to us. "Need any help? That thing can be hard to work sometimes. I'm Emily by the way. Not that you wanted to know that but just in case you did and well did you need any help?"

She pointed at the gas thingy and I sighed. Henry politely declined her offer, and then she said something about a windshield cleaning deal and rambled on- trying to keep him there. In the gas station I saw all the female employees crowding up against the glass to stare.

And since Henry was a gentleman, he didn't tell her 'no thank you' until she was finished with her spiel. Then she went on about the difference between premium and ultra gas and I reclined my seat in the car, preparing for a long siege.

Finally Henry said "no thanks" to an offer about buy one, get one half off Coke two-liters, and then he climbed into the car before Emily could say anything else. He handed her a tip and gave her a small smile, and pulled away.

"We'll have to stop somewhere else for dinner," he said. "That girl was talkative, wasn't she?"

"Poor girl," I agreed.

He gave me a sideways glance. "What do you mean?"

"She was falling in love with you, and you drove away," I said, sighing melodramatically. "She'll probably never marry now and end up an old spinster cat lady, always waiting for you to come back for her…"

"That's ridiculous," Henry scoffed, but I noticed his ears going red. "She just wanted someone to talk to."

"Sure she did," I said agreeably. "And so did those other fourteen girls in the window."

He changed the subject. "Well, only another five, five and a half hours, and we'll be at the hotel."

"Oh, good," I said. "I hope they have a big, empty parking lot nearby."

He grimaced. "Why?"

"Because you need to teach me how to drive," I said, and enjoyed the slow horror creeping over his face.

"I managed to forget about that for the last few hours," he groaned.

I tapped the hard hat in between us. "No worries. I won't press on the gas too hard."

Was it just me, or was Henry's face going a tad green around the edges?

"I think I'll have you master the brake first. Just in case," he said.

I curled up in my seat and rested my head against the window, cradling it against the top of my seatbelt. It wasn't the most comfortable position- it tended to make my neck really sore- but I was tired and drained.

I slept for an hour. When I woke up, I saw the dark circles under Henry's eyes and felt guilty. "Are you doing okay?"

He smiled a little, but when he was illuminated by a streetlight, I saw how the brilliance defined the shadows on his face. "I'm okay- just getting a little sleepy."

"I wish I could help you drive," I said. "Maybe if I get my learner's, I can drive during the day on the way back."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Thanks."

"What about Megan?" I asked after a second of hesitation. That was what I really wanted to know: how bad was he hurting?

Because I knew that no matter how much I trusted him, no matter how much I leaned on him, he felt like he couldn't do the same thing with me, because he was older and a guy. Psh. Stereotypes…

That's why he surprised me when he began to talk. "I'm not sure. I… we've been together so long now, it feels weird, like I still haven't accepted that now we're not. It feels like someone stole a piece of the puzzle and now I can't complete it."

My stomach plummeted, because my selfish side whispered: _why can't I be the missing piece? Why can't I fit in somewhere? _

My more moral and wise side spoke. "Have you ever heard the saying that if you truly love something, then you need to let it go and see if it will come back to you?" I flushed when he looked at me sideways, appraising. "Or… something like that," I mumbled.

"Yeah. And maybe that's true- but I think I would rather have just assumed that it was love than have evidence of it." He was frowning now, hands tight on the wheel.

I felt a kind of passion stirring in me, and I said something that I knew was true. "It wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be as strong. You'd always wonder, you'd always doubt it. Is that the way you would've wanted to live for the rest of your life? Feeling uncertain and watching the years go by without ever really knowing?"

I had said all of it in one or two breaths, and my face was red- but not from embarrassment (for once), but with the knowledge that I believed in what I was saying.

"I don't know," Henry finally answered me- so soft I wasn't sure I'd heard it in the first place.

We were silent for the remainder of the drive. When we reached Brookings I smiled and began to sing the "Hallelujah Chorus."

"We're heeeeere!" I said happily, straightening in my seat and putting all our trash into one bag.

We parked at our hotel and Henry sat there for a moment with the key in the ignition. "Katie…" he said slowly. "Do you really believe that? That if bad things didn't happen things wouldn't be as good?"

"Well," I said, surprised. _Back to this? _"I believe that things wouldn't feel as real… that if nothing went wrong we'd never appreciate what's right."

"Okay," he said, and a real smile broke out on his face for the first time since this morning. "We'll have to do driving another time- it's getting late."

"Sure," I said in relief. But as Henry climbed out of the car, my own words echoed in my head: _If nothing went wrong, we'd never appreciate what's right. _Henry's door shut, and suddenly I felt I could barely breathe.

I felt this kind of foreboding… this little squeezing at my heart, a pounding in my head. It told me that I really was a jinx. _Things have to go wrong first. _

I told myself to forget that- it's not like I'm Alice or anything! And I was half-loopy from sleep deprivation and paranoia.

So when I got out and grabbed my bags from the trunk, I put a smile on my face. "Thanks, Katie," Henry said, and hugged me. "For asking, and for talking, and things."

Was Henry _blushing_? No, no, it had to be a trick of the light. British guys don't blush.

Although since he's the only one I know personally, I can't really say.

We walked into the lobby and saw an entire party of our crew members waiting on us. That was unexpected-hadn't we left before them?

"What did you guys do, take the scenic route?" Kay, the assistant director asked, and a vein was twitching in her forehead. "Bob's about to call the FBI."

"Um." Henry pulled out the now-tattered MapQuest directions. "No. But we got stuck in that huge traffic jam."

"What huge traffic jam?" Kay said. Then she groaned, looking at the map. "You did go the scenic route… we got here over three hours ago." She shook her head. "This is why I always go to Yahoo instead of MapQuest…"

Henry and I looked at one another, jaws open, and then simultaneously our hands curled into fists.

"You mean we drove… an extra three hours… with no air conditioning… because we went to the wrong website?" Henry asked helplessly. Everyone just sort of nodded sympathetically.

_Well, that's a lesson learned the hard way._

"Katie, I'm supposed to go with both of you tomorrow and study lines while we're driving," said Brooklyn, the raven-haired acting coach told me quietly. It was odd to see her without her two sisters; I'd come to think of them as a single entity.

"Okay," I agreed… what else could I do?

"Hello," said a professional-looking woman with her hair back in a bun and a suit on. "I'm Andie Quo, the manager. Is there anything I can do for you this evening?"

"Yeah," Kay said dismissively. "I want a suite with a Jacuzzi and queen bed, not the one you have listed."

"And I need a number for the local dry cleaner," Bob added, raising his hand. "Oh, plus a chai latte."

Brooklyn inspected her fingernails. "A mango daiquiri and an edition of _Acting for Dummies. _"

"A picture of a pig- I promised my wife…"

"You wouldn't happen to have any fried squash, would you?"

"Do you have a room without air conditioning?… Whyever not? Then break one! I cannot stand the sound of air conditioning."

"I'll need a connecting cable for my laptop."

"A bouncy ball."

"A rolling chair."

The requests (or orders) flooded in, and Andie began taking notes, eyes panicked. I think the whole "can I do anything" was a rhetorical question… oops.

"And for you two?" she asked, looking at Henry and myself with scribbles all over her notepad.

"I'm fine, thank you," I said. Henry nodded in agreement, and poor Andie raced off to start trying to fill the orders.

We picked up our luggage and got our room keys. When I turned around to head away from the front desk, and all-too-familiar cologne assaulted me.

"Glad to see you made it okay," Jason said. His blond hair was messy, his slacks wrinkled- the day hadn't been easy on him either. "We'll have to catch up on Trig tomorrow."

My face flushed and I felt like a deer in the headlights. "Um…" I whispered, looking down at my feet. "I didn't know you were coming."

"Well, of course!" he laughed. "I'm your tutor."

I winced. _If he keeps tutoring me, I think I might have to drop out of school. _I think Jason saw my expression, because he said quickly, "Okay, then, good night."

He smiled at me and walked away. I looked around and saw that Henry was gone.

For some reason I felt a bit injured… except that Henry wasn't my protector. He was my friend, yes, but he had to see to himself too.

It would've been nice to have him tell Jason off, though, because I hadn't had the guts.

All of a sudden that same Henry came bursting into the lobby. "Help!" he panted. "Hide me. There's a rabid… Twilight… fan… and she's my maid. _And she's chasing me_!"

I stuffed him behind a couple of ferns just in time; a cleaning cart came into view, and behind it was a younger girl. She was looking around eagerly. "Did a guy come past just now?" she asked me. Her nametag read 'Devi.'

I pondered for a moment whether I wanted to be cruel or not. I decided that I'd rather have Henry on my good side. "He went thataway," I said, pointing to the right.

She beamed. "Oh, good, I wanted to give him his socks back! He left them in the room."

She raced away in hot pursuit of Mr. Cavill, and I pulled him out from his hiding spot. "You lost your socks," I giggled, just now noticing that he was barefoot and his shirt was unbuttoned.

_Look at the bare feet, Katie, not the bare chest. Good girl._

"I know," Henry sighed. "Aw, man. And she has a room key!"

"Quite a bind you're in," I said agreeably. He glared at me.

"Helpful."

I gave in to the puppy-dog look on his face. "What am I supposed to do, offer you my couch?"

He threw his arms around me. "Thank you, Katie! I will love you forever and ever!"

_I can only wish_, I thought, and despite the arms around me I felt an inkling of that fear from earlier.

I pushed it away and leaned against Henry as we slowly made our way to my hotel room- our legs were stiff, our eyes tired. But just now, supporting one another as we walked, it felt just a little bit like sunshine at night… or twilight.

AN: Okay, so we were at a bit of a crossroads on the age thing. About two-thirds said to make them three years apart, and the remaining third said either to leave it be or make it about five years. Compromise: Katie will be sixteen, Henry will be twenty. As someone said, that means Henry isn't a teenager, at least.

I know the bigger age difference made it more intriguing, but as a writer it was awkward. Does that sound all right? Right in the middle of what everyone seemed to want…

And when I mentioned I'd like to get to 1000 reviews, I didn't necessarily mean in that one chapter, but I appreciate the enthusiasm. Lol. We got it!

Orla uploaded this again, so thanks as ever. –hugs- I'm back in school now, and taking some tough classes this year, but believe me when I say that I will NEVER abandon this story… it's too much fun. Until next time, everyone! Thanks for reading.

--Silviael


	21. Easy Does It

**AN: Hallelujah! For once I am able to log in to fan fiction under my own power. Let us hope my computer continues to be kind to me… All right, there were still objections to the age. Final revision, and I do mean **_**final**_**: Katie is seventeen, Henry is twenty-one. I am not making Katie any older, nor Henry any younger, and I just hope everyone's appeased now. If not… well, too bad. I do love all of you though.**

**As for the names, I assumed everyone was female. If not, leave me a comment and I'll switch it. THIS IS ONLY A FILLER CHAPTER. I needed to update and then I'll really write a long one. These people will be in the NEXT chapter:**

**Speed-Is-Everything- Taylor **

**Em'sGirl23- Amy **

**Dancrgrl16714- Lexie **

**Word Nazi- Emily **

**Voided- Meg **

**Peppermint.twist808- Jackie **

**MoonShineMystery- Ariana **

**LovinTopazEyes91- Varuna **

**My Forbidden Fruit- Ellen**

**I suppose now that all that is over with, I must begin actually writing. Oh, but I love talking so much!… **

…

…

**What are you looking at the computer like that for? I swear I am done talking. Right after, er, this. **

**-big shmile- (And a grin is an expression, not words. And this is all technically enclosed in parentheses, so it's me talking to myself and not to you, although no doubt you're reading it… oh all right already!)**

**Quote of the Chapter: As we say in Calculus… Wanna be tangent to my curves?**

Chapter Twenty-One: Easy Does It

Henry woke me up at the ungodly hour of four-thirty in the morning.

"Go 'way," I mumbled, stuffing my head under my pillow. I heard him laugh, and sighed. There was no way I could go back to sleep.

"Rise and shine, love," Henry said. I turned back over to look up at him, squinting against the bright lamplight. He positively glowed, his hair still wet from the shower.

"Do I have a choice?" I protested weakly, but he and I both knew he'd won.

"Not really," he said agreeably, and I rubbed my arm across my tired eyes before I attempted to sit up.

"And why," I asked, my voice sluggish from sleep, "are we getting up this early?"

"Because we're leaving at six," Henry said calmly, throwing back my covers, "and we're going to start your driving lessons before it's time to go. I've been falling down on the job."

"You want to be in a car with me at the wheel when it's still dark outside?" I inquired, wondering about his mental health. Yes… as I woke up further, my sarcasm was coming back to me. "Moron."

"At least if it's dark I'll never see my death coming," he teased back, and despite myself I began to grin. Was it possible to wake up next to Henry and not smile?

_Wow_, that last thought came out way wrong. _Wow_.

_Henry slept on the couch, _I reminded myself uncomfortably. _It's not like, er, that._

"What's wrong?" he asked with a frown, and with a little gasp I realized I was blushing.

The wave of heat in my cheeks was accompanied by the sudden awareness of my hygiene; my teeth were probably scuzzy and I had morning breath. I instantly shut my mouth and climbed out of bed.

I'd taken a shower the night before, so I brushed my teeth and packed my toiletry bag. In ten minutes I was ready to go.

There was only one exhausted desk clerk downstairs on night duty. She raised her eyebrows when she saw the two of us walking around alone at this hour, but shrugged and went back to redoing her MySpace profile.

Obviously the continental breakfast wasn't quite ready yet, so Henry and I bought Pop Tarts out of the vending machine and walked out to his car. He drove us over to a nearby empty parking lot, and slid neatly into a spot.

"It's all yours," he said generously, and unbuckled. I gulped.

"I think I may have to fight you for that hard hat," I said. I'd been psyching myself out about driving for so long now that I really was terrified.

"I didn't bring it," Henry said, as nonchalant as could be.

"You _what_?!" I yelped, my hands curling into fists.

"I gave it to a bloke in the gas station," he said with a shrug. At my panicked look, he sighed and gently squeezed my hand. "Relax. I trust you. You should, too."

"Um…" I murmured, under the full force of his eyes. What were my arguments?

Slowly he reached over and unbuckled my seatbelt. As he did he pinned me with his gaze, and with a devilish grin said, "You'd fight me for the hard hat? I think I'd win that battle."

He was so _close,_ without even meaning to make me have this reaction. My heart beating fast, I felt like his hands on my arms were scalding me… but the heat sent tingles through my body. And I had to admit that, yes, he'd win any kind of fight with me. He had too much power over me… it was unhealthy.

"I'm glad to see we finally agree on something," Henry said in a much more normal tone of voice, leaning back over to his side of the car. Despite his crooked smile, I couldn't help noticing a kind of coiled energy in him.

This entire moment frightened me. Before I could think too much, I tossed my emotions into the recycling bin and opened my door.

I promptly shut it again. I'd saved his passenger door from being smacked into a light post. "Smooth parking," I said with a scowl. "I can't get out."

"Oh, sorry," he said. "I was thinking about something else. Here, we'll just switch places now."

"I don't think that's a good idea," I said. "Having solid objects anywhere around the car while I'm driving."

"Just have a little faith," Henry said with another gentle smile. "I'm a good teacher."

I bit my lip. Besides the standard equation Katie + car + steering wheel + light post equals disaster, there was also the proximity that trading places inside the car would involve.

Apparently, Mr. Cavill hadn't thought that one through. Katie + hormones + tight space + general klutziness also equals … you guessed it- _disaster._

I was incapable of just stepping over the center console, naturally. (In my defense, it was an uncommonly high and wide center console.) I stumbled and was thrown back against Henry, who was kneeling down behind me.

"Sorry," I muttered, cheeks red for more than just simple embarrassment.

"S'okay," he said. "I should've remembered you're not exactly graceful." I elbowed him in the ribs and he choked. "Sorry, sorry! Look, I'll help, just lean back and put your hand on my shoulder…"

I pressed against him as he lightly put his hands on my waist and lifted me free of the console, dropping me into the driver's seat. Then he proceeded to sit with enviable poise into the passenger seat.

_Honestly, _how did the boy expect me to drive when his touch shook me all over?

"Press the brake… that would be the left one… yeah. Now put your hand _here_…" he reached over and moved my hand. "Switch it to the one with the R. We'll back away from the light post first. When I tell you to, ease off the brake, but don't press the gas yet. Okay?"

"Uh-huh," I said, as calmly as I could.

"All right… just pull your foot up a little…" I yelped when the car began to inch backwards. "It's okay, that's what it's supposed to do!"

His words came too late. I'd already slammed my foot on the brake again, and we jerked forward in the seats.

It was going to be a long, long day, and the sun hadn't even come up yet.

**AN: First off, I'm sorry it's just a filler, but I'm home for an hour and a half each day before heading off to show choir practice until eleven at night. I'll update again sometime next week, and if I don't you can yell at me until I do! By the way, I appreciate everyone still reading this, even though it's taken so long.**

**All my remaining winners from the last songfic challenge will be in the next chapter. I already know who you are and everything, I just don't have time tonight to write it out, and I HAD to update. **

**In short: bear with me. I'm doing my darndest. -hugs-**

**--Silv**


	22. Welcome to Forks

AN: Hello folks! For those who have not heard yet, Kristen Stewart has been cast as Bella in the REAL movie. (As opposed to my fantasy world, lol). My personal view: she wouldn't have been my pick looks-wise, but she truly can act, and I'm very sure she can pull it off. Robert Pattinson (Cedric from HP) has been cast as Edward, and the verdict is still out on him- he's got a lot of weight on his pretty shoulders.

The casting and shooting of the actual movie will have no bearing on this fan fiction. This is _my_ dream movie; I just hope that we can all keep the two separate. And yes, for the fifth or sixth time now: no matter what happens, this fanfiction is never "abandoned." There will always be another update until it's finished. It just may be a long time coming!

Besides that- late Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

**Speed-Is-Everything- Taylor **

**Em'sGirl23- Amy **

**Dancrgrl16714- Lexie **

**Word Nazi- Emily **

**Voided- Meg **

**Peppermint.twist808- Jackie **

**MoonShineMystery- Ariana **

**LovinTopazEyes91- Varuna **

**My Forbidden Fruit- Ellen **

Quote of the Chapter: The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not Eureka! (I found it!) but 'That's funny...'

Chapter Twenty-Two: Welcome to Forks

Yeah… Believe it or not, I didn't magically pick up driving in an hour. When I asked (without much hope) if I could drive part of the way to Forks, Henry laughed at me.

"I don't think you're quite ready for that," he said diplomatically. I sighed- I foresaw more practice in empty parking lots in my future.

"Well, can I drive across the street to pick up Brooklyn?" I asked hopefully. "Just across that one street there. We can switch seats while she puts her stuff in."

He thought about it a second, then squared his shoulders. "I guess, Katie, but just remember where the brake is."

"Yeah," I said agreeably. I was so excited! I loved driving.

I started out about five miles per hour, inching my way across the intersection. "A little faster wouldn't hurt," Henry commented. My foot found the gas pedal tentatively. The gas and I hadn't really been acquaintances for long… I pressed my foot down and squealed when the car shot forward. "Easy on the gas! Now watch out for the car coming from- _Katie, oh CRAP!_"

He reached over and grabbed the steering wheel, yanking it to the right as the other car leaving the hotel swerved. To my chagrin, I heard a gentle _c-c-crack. _

Henry sat back, white-faced, and cursed under his breath. "That lady was going too fast," he grumbled angrily. "That wasn't really your fault."

I put my face in my hands. "Yes, it was. Too fast? She was going… what, twenty miles per hour?" He shot me a look, and I shut up.

The woman was getting out of her car. "You bent my mirror!" she exclaimed.

"We're lucky nothing worse happened," Henry muttered, and then grudgingly climbed out of the car.

I debated and, in the end, decided to follow him- I couldn't send him to do battle alone. When I was standing next to the car, I inspected it gingerly. Henry was right- it was lucky I wasn't going any faster. My side mirror was bent slightly toward me; when I glanced at the woman's truck, I saw that hers was bent the opposite way.

Oops.

Henry came back with a Post-It note. I read it: _Jackie Cobb. _There was a phone number, etc., as well. "Sorry, Henry," I said, shamefaced.

"It's okay," he said with a sigh and a tired smile. "How about I drive the rest of the way, though?"

"No problem," I said, my face still pale.

As we picked up Brooklyn, I tried to think of a better way to apologize. No, the incident hadn't been _all_ my fault, but it was Henry's car- not mine- that had been involved.

Poor fellow.

Finally, as we were merging onto the interstate, Henry looked my way and said with a razor-sharp smile, "Well. That was very Bella…"

Have I ever mentioned how much I adore Henry Cavill?

I swear, if I ever have to ride in a car with Brooklyn again I'll bring duct tape. I love that girl, but being stuck with her for ten hours in a car while she's force-feeding you lines is not my idea of fun.

I w ill say this for her, though: Henry and I both knew our lines for the next two weeks of shooting.

We only stopped once that day, and traffic wasn't bad at all. It was amusing… there was one big caravan heading on increasingly smaller roads to Forks. Imagine that: not everyone on the interstate had been going to a small, rainy town in the middle of nowhere in the late evening, even if it was the birthplace of Twilight.

_The birthplace of Twilight. _"Henry," I whispered.

"What?" he whispered back. Brooklyn was finally asleep in the back seat; the darkness had fallen half an hour ago. It reminded me that winter was drawing nearer every day.

"I can't believe I'm going to Forks."

"Well, it's too late to turn back now," he said softly, grinning, as we drove past the town limits.

Too true… but why would I want to turn back? I was in a car going to Forks, with a caravan of veteran movie people and a wonderful (plus good-looking) best friend.

Awww. Kodak moment here!

I realized that I hadn't updated my Lexicon blog in a while… oops. "Hey, Henry," I whispered again.

"What?"

"We need to take silly pictures sometime."

"Huh?" He shot a surprised look at me., then turned his eyes back to the road. "I swear, Katie, you are the most random person I've ever met."

"Well, I was just thinking that I don't have hardly any pictures of you and me to take home at Christmas," I said casually.

"Um, okay," he said. "There was that one time on the boardwalk where we went in that booth thing. Remember?"

Crap, I was hoping he wouldn't remember that. Those weren't silly enough. "Then we ought to make a tradition," I said, and an even better evil plan took form in my head. "Every new place we go, we ought to take a picture at our favorite place."

"Like scrapbooking, sort of," Henry agreed with another smile.

"Yeah!" I said, bouncing a little in my seat. I actually did like this idea. "So once Twilight's over we'll remember everything that went on."

"That's a really good plan," he said. "But you'll have to tell me beforehand, so I'll be sure not to dress like an idiot that day."

There were a lot of looks Henry could pull off, but 'idiot' wasn't one of them. "Okay," I said.

We were silent for a moment, and then he said musingly, "I have a question."

"Ready, aim, fire," I said with a shrug- my variation of 'shoot.'

"How do you think life is really going to be after we finish this movie?" he asked. "Even if they go ahead with New Moon… Eclipse… Breaking Dawn… sometime, all this will stop, and you can't just go back to the way you used to be, Katie." He quieted for a second, and then said carefully, "Fame has a way of changing things."

So that's what this was all about. "I don't know," I said. "I guess I'll just… go on."

"Go on how?" he wanted to know. "Go back to high school? Shoot another movie? Get your own talk show?"

I didn't say anything, because my mind wasn't on my career. It was on something more of a personal nature.

"Katie," Henry pressed earnestly, "I hate to be a nag, but you have to think about this stuff, because soon it won't just be me asking you these questions. It'll be your family, your fans, the media- and if you don't know, then they'll just check you off as another wannabe."

"How am I supposed to have my life figured out already?" I asked, flushing. "I'm seventeen. I'm not a movie star yet; I _am_ just a wannabe." He started to say something, but I cut him off. "And what about you? Do you have your whole life planned out?"

"I thought I did," he said.

"With Megan," I said, trying not to sound petty. He nodded, face tight. "Well, I hope you get that figured out, Henry. I really do. But until you've got your own life in order, don't criticize mine, please." I tried to soften my tone, because I hadn't realized how loud I'd gotten. "Fame isn't going to change me. I won't let it. I'm still going to live how I want to live, and I won't know if that's in acting until this is over."

Henry shrugged. "I hope that works out for you," he said.

"I have a question, too," I said, poking him in the arm.

"Uh-oh, I'm nervous," he said with a groan, but he was smiling again.

"After we finish this movie," I said, "you're probably going to be the hottest actor on the planet." He scoffed, and I giggled, a little red in the face. "Shush, it's the truth. Anyway, after this is over, are you going to be embarrassed to be seen being friends with a B-list klutz?"

He laughed. "Katie, come on. Besides the fact that I'll never be that popular"- oh, _contraire_- "you'll never be on my B-list or anyone else's." He poked me this time. "I'm afraid you'll probably always be a klutz, but you'll be my favorite klutz."

"I can work with that," I said softly, and I spotted the hotel ahead.

We pulled into the parking lot and woke Brooklyn up. She sleepily stumbled out of the car. We checked in with Bob (on time for once) and lugged our luggage upstairs.

Henry's room was down the hall from mine, like at the last hotel. He insisted on seeing me settled before he continued to his room, so I sighed with fake impatience and dug out my key.

"You're so old-fashioned," I complained when he insisted on holding my bags for me.

"The knight in shining armor, that's me," he agreed with a self-mocking grin.

I stuck my credit-card-shaped key into the sliding thingamabob and zipped it down the lock. Nothing happened. I grimaced, put a little more pressure on the key, and slid it down slowly. Still, nothing.

"Here, let me," Henry said quickly, and there was much transferring of luggage as he freed a hand and jiggled the key in the lock. "That usually works when they're stubborn," he said with a frown. "Wow, this is a tough one…" He put his full weight into it with a grunt and then tried to slide it down. "Um. Katie? I think we have a problem."

"You want me to go see if the manager can open it?" I asked doubtfully. Last time I'd checked, the poor manager was being swamped with Starbucks orders from the cast and crew. Was there even a Starbucks in Forks?

"No, I mean we have a real problem. The key's stuck." Henry set down the rest of our bags and used both hands, trying in vain to pull it out. He fell backwards on his rump.

And despite myself, I started to laugh.

"Hey," he said indignantly, "I'm trying to help here."

"I know," I said with an attempt at a serious face. I promptly doubled over again when I saw him struggling to get up, his hair and clothes askew. "But you're always so together, and it's always me who makes the mistakes… Now _you _look like the klutz!"

"Fine, fine," he grumbled, but he was smiling too. "Enjoy it while it lasts." I gave him my hand and helped pull him up.

There was literally _no one_ in the lobby. All the staff were running around like chickens in town to accommodate the crew of Twilight; after standing at the front desk for almost twenty minutes, Henry and I looked at each other and sighed heavily.

"I'll sleep on the couch," we said at the same time.

I chuckled. "We seem to be making a bad habit of camping out in each other's rooms every time we go someplace."

He looped his arm through mine- he'd finally agreed to let me get a trolley for the suitcases- and we trooped on down to his room.

I took a shower, and when I came back out I saw him sprawled on the couch. I shook my head at him and said, "I'm on the couch either way, in here or in the lobby. It's your turn to have the bed, Mr. Chivalry."

He protested, of course. And believe it or not, I found it difficult to manually move him off the couch. It was only when I grabbed a pillow and blanket and headed towards the door that he exclaimed, "All right, all right! Just stay put, will you?"

"Welcome to Forks," I called after him., and he threw a pillow at me… how rude.

I turned off the lights and the TV and went to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be pretty awesome, and I wanted to be as functional as possible.

The next morning we were given a tour of Forks by the president and vice president of the Forks High School student body, Taylor and Amy. They showed up at eight, and I was raring to go.

First up was "Bella's house." I grinned to myself- this was where we'd be shooting me and Charlie in the next few days, once Charlie got here in the first place.

We drove there in a matter of minutes, and for the first time I got to see Forks in the sunlight- or the lack of it. It was sprinkling cold rain, and I shivered not from the cold, but the sense of being here. It really was like a step into the pages of Twilight.

We pulled up to the house and I climbed out as quickly as I could without tripping. I frowned in puzzlement when I saw a flash of… something… in the woods. What color had it been? Red?

I nudged Henry. "Did you see that?" I whispered.

"See what?" he asked, bending down to murmur in my ear.

"Nothing," I said.

I'd been really excited to go into "my" house, but… it was actually sort of creepy. In the kitchen, it was like someone had been living there this morning, and had gone off to work or school. The oven was still warm, and a cereal box was on the counter. There were crumbs on the table and dishes in the sink. I opened the fridge and saw real food supplies.

"Wow, this is pretty authentic," I said with a nervous chuckle. Henry glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, and I whispered again to him: "Do they usually go this all out on a set?"

"Not when there's no shooting today," he said quietly.

Taylor and Amy merely smiled when we glanced at them, and gestured to the living room. "Let's go on," they chorused.

The living room was almost as creepy. There were pictures of 'Bella' on the mantle, from every school picture. I frowned. The prop crew had copied my school pictures but these props… but these weren't mine. The girl looked like Bella, but not like me.

Odd.

When I tried to turn on the TV- which I figured was fake- it came on instantly to a sports station. Henry and I exchanged a look. If Charlie had been here, that's what he would have been watching.

There was a rack on the wall with built-in holsters- for Charlie's guns? I noticed that all the smallest were empty, as though he'd taken them on the job today. There were wedding pictures of Charlie and Renee on the wall, but potential Renees hadn't even been looked at yet.

We walked upstairs and went first to the bathroom. There was a toothbrush still wet- presumably from a morning's brushing. A hair dryer was on the shelf next to a sink, along with a pair of holey pajamas. My eyes widened when I looked in the shower and saw Bella's favorite strawberry shampoo.

There was a point where imitation becomes insanity instead of flattery, and the prop crew was crossing it.

I walked into Bella's room with trepidation- if all the other rooms were that realistic, what would this feel like to me?

It was like the book had said: a room made for a little girl and never updated. The bookcase on the wall gave me chills. It had an old, tattered collection of Jane Austen's works, and other classics as well as a few Bella might've picked up in Seattle.

The books were real, not just props. This crew was devoted.

The closet opened to reveal a bunch of Bella-ish clothes, along with the prom dress Stephenie Meyer had picked out for Bella. In the far dark corner was a group of clothes with tags still on them. I looked at them and whistled- Gucci? Armani? This would've been Alice's work, if Alice were real.

Bella's computer had been left on, and I saw that a document was minimized. I looked around- Henry and the two girls were gone into Charlie's room- and then clicked on the icon. It brought up an almost-finished research paper. I looked through the other documents on the computer.

Who would set up the scene this thoroughly?

I gently popped open the lid of the CD player and saw a burned CD inside. Curious, I pressed play. Instantly a beautiful song, played on the piano, filled the room with the sounds of a lullaby.

There was Bella's bed, and the window- opened for Edward. I sniffed the air and smiled. It smelled wonderful in this room, especially closer to the bed. I couldn't pin down the fragrance, but it stirred a memory in me… like I should know what it was.

I walked to the window, letting the cool breeze clear my head. I looked out at the overcast sky, then down at the yard. As I turned to leave the room, I saw that same flash of red in the woods. My heart pounded, but I told myself I was being silly.

"Hey," Henry said from the doorway. I jumped and turned around. I swear, if he'd had his contacts in, I would've believed Edward was walking into Bella's bedroom. "Are you ready to go to the beach?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. I glanced outside again, but it was just woods and grass. "Yeah… let's go."

I found myself tiptoeing out of the house, feeling like an intruder, and made myself walk normally. "A nice set, isn't it?" I said conversationally to Henry.

"Yes," he murmured. "Very real." I scrutinized him thoroughly and saw that he looked a bit out of sorts too. Did he notice all the things I did… things that a _set_, a _prop_, shouldn't have?

We climbed in the car and drove all the way to the beach. I smiled when Taylor and Amy threatened to throw Henry out- no vampires were allowed in La Push, after all.

We took a break once we got there and walked on the beach. It was really a dreary day, but at least the rain had let up for a while. Henry and I linked arms and looked up at the birds flying around.

"Excuse me," said a deep voice from behind us.

We turned around to see a tall, copper-skinned boy staring at us. He looked like he was sixteen or seventeen. "Can we help you?" Henry asked, after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"No," the boy said, shaking his head. "Sorry… you just remind me of two people I know."

Henry's grip tightened on my arm as another teenage boy called, "Jake, come on, your dad's going to go crazy if we're late!"

"I'm coming," Jake answered. "Well, nice meeting you." He nodded to us and loped towards the group of boys waiting at the top of the slope.

"Um…" I said, not sure how to broach the subject without sounding paranoid, "Did you hear what they called him?"

"Yes," Henry said shortly. We both walked in silence after that, lost in our thoughts, until Taylor and Amy beckoned for us to come get back in the car.

Our next stop was Forks High School, and then, finally, the Cullen house. "That doesn't make sense," Henry remarked quietly to me. "Why didn't we just go to the school after Bella's house? It would've been closer, and the Cullens' house is on the way to the beach."

I shrugged. "Who knows?"

As we drove, I realized that I was well and truly on edge now. I grinned and thought, _I'm a paranoid idiot._

We saw an ambulance stopped on the road near a wreck, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw a beautiful blond man in a lab coat talking to two paramedics.

Parked nearby was a black Mercedes.

I shuddered and looked the other way. I saw another flash of red a few minutes later, and flinched- suddenly I wasn't feeling incredibly secure about the hiking trip we'd planned on for this afternoon, going to the meadow.

"You okay?" Henry asked with a puzzled look in my direction.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I said automatically.

We got to the high school right at lunchtime and I winced. "Great… just in time for everyone here to see us, right?"

"I think they planned it that way," Henry answered with a small smile.

We got out of the car and went through a brief tour of the school. We met Mr. Banner, Bella's Biology teacher, and the principal, who fondly told us to "call her Ellen." We visited the attendance office, the clinic, and the gym. Finally we went to the cafeteria, and I braced myself for an onslaught of staring.

When we walked in, there was a lot of pointing and discordant noise. I heard "Look! They're here!" in a million different variations.

There was one table that didn't seem to care about our arrival, though. I was too far away to see faces clearly, but I saw two blonde and two dark-haired people sitting alone, not touching their food. At a table a little closer to us, a bronze-haired boy and dark-haired girl were sitting with their backs turned to us. There was something incredibly familiar about that hair: it looked like Henry's.

I tried to work towards that end of the cafeteria, but Taylor and Amy didn't let us linger in there. "It's a madhouse, sorry," Amy said cheerfully, and Taylor added,

"That's what you get when you live in a small town, I guess." They steered us away.

The Cullens' house was on the outskirts of town, far away from anybody else's. I gasped slightly when I saw it: it was beautiful, like something out of a picture… or something out of a book.

I was expecting another creepy tour. We walked up and I reached for the doorknob, but Taylor shook her head. "We need to ring the doorbell here," she said.

"What?" I asked. "Why? Is there anyone in there?"

"I'm not sure," she said with a mysterious smile.

I shrugged and played along, ringing the doorbell like a good girl. Henry and I traded glances as we waited. I heard rapid, even footsteps and held my breath. The door opened to reveal a beautiful caramel-haired woman with a gentle smile.

"Hello," she said softly. "We've been expecting you."

"Thanks," Henry said, after it became apparent I was too tongue-tied to speak.

"Come in, come in," she said. "My son's been playing for us. Would you like to listen?"

She didn't wait for an answer, which was good- I wasn't sure what to say. As we entered the light, open house, I heard beautiful music coming from the living room.

And when I walked in, I saw… normal faces.

"Hi," chorused eight people. Seven were teenagers.

The principal of Forks High School- Ellen- was there. "Hi, Katie and Henry," she said, beaming. "I'd like to introduce you to our student actors. They're from our current theater class. Lexie…" Alice stepped forward. "Emily…" Esme stepped out from behind us. "Meg…" Bella smiled and waved. "Ariana…" A golden-haired but surprisingly short Rosalie winked. "Varuna…" A girl with bright red hair said, "BOO!" from behind us.

I yelped. "It was you I was seeing all day?" I asked in amazement. They'd even produced a Victoria…

"Hope I didn't scare you too much," she said.

"I thought I was going crazy," I said honestly. "Jeez, you guys thought of everything. Even the music in the CD player, and the dishes in the sink…"

"Well," Ellen said with a grin, "We're glad you're here. Welcome to Forks."

**AN: Nobody mention that this was due out over a month ago. Lol. But I tried to make up for it- it's eleven pages long on Word! That's the most I've written on anything in a while. I haven't had a lot of time to write recently, but I guess you'd know all about that.**

**As always, thanks for reading! I like talking to new (and old) friends, so message or email me. It reminds me to update sooner. –hugs- Happy New Year!**


	23. AN

Go on to the next chapter, please, now that it's up.

Thank you. And ignore my dinky little author's note.

--Silviael


	24. Heart to Heart

**AN: Hopefully this will work. Last times I've tried it hasn't uploaded.**

**This chapter is LONG. And it makes me HAPPY. **

**QOTC: It's too late, baby, there's no turning around. I've got my hands in my pockets and my head in the clouds. This is how I do when I think about you.**

Chapter Twenty-Three: Heart to Heart

Thank goodness it was just one huge game.

Don't get me wrong: if Twilight had been real, that would've been just about the coolest thing in the universe- right under spinning around on rolly barstools with Henry. But it also would've been kind of _creepy._

So after Principal Ellen "welcomed" us to Forks with her very convincing little show, my heart went back into its proper rhythm and I began to laugh.

"That was seriously freaky," I said, grinning at the student actors.

Henry and I shared an amazed smile. _Wow_. The whole town had been in on this.

"Well, we didn't mean to hold you up," Ellen said. "I just wanted you to meet these kids before they head back to class. Do you want to see the Cullen house set?"

Henry's smile looked a little confused as he gazed at the students. "Hey," he said, taking my arm. A little shiver raced through me as the heat of the simple touch soaked into my bones. "Remember the beach in La Push?"

I nodded suddenly, seeing his point. "Where's Jake?" I asked Ellen. "Does he go to school in La Push or something?"

She frowned in puzzlement. "We didn't have a Jake, though." Then she laughed. "I guess there really is a kid named Jake in La Push."

Henry and I looked at each other, still a little paranoid, and then I put it behind us. "Sure, let's see the rest of the house," I agreed.

This was a genuinely cool tour, now that the creepy factor was out. Edward's piano was beautiful, Edward's bedroom was beautiful… are you sensing a trend here?

And let me tell you, Edward himself is one beautiful boy.

I glanced over at Henry every time we went somewhere new, or whenever I just wanted to look at him. (Which was often.) Once we were finished touring the house, Ellen told us that she had to get back to school herself, and that the two Forks High tour guides- Taylor and Amy- would take us hiking to the meadow.

Ugh. _Hiking_. I was definitely not looking forward to this. I mean, sure, seeing the meadow was going to be incredible, but I can barely walk without looking like a klutz. Hiking through the forest with Henry? I'd be surprised if we both survived the day, much less with my dignity intact.

Especially since he'd promised to give me more driving lessons today. Our odds of going to bed tonight safe and sound were decreasing by the second.

All this was running through my head as we drove, and so when we got to the edge of the woods and I saw a wide car path winding through them, I got pretty excited. "Hey, no one told me we could drive there!" I exclaimed.

Henry nodded. "There has to be a path for the cars," he explained. "To get all the equipment there when it's time to film."

This was why I was a little confused when Taylor and Amy got _out_ of the car.

"Hey," I said in panic. "Hey. Trail? Car?"

They shrugged. "We're supposed to hike there," Taylor said.

My eyes narrowed. "According to who?" Although I thought I had a pretty good idea…

Amy frowned. "Some chick named Carmen. Says you need your exercise."

I scowled, crossing my arms. I looked at Henry. "I have a trainer for that. And, jeez, now Carmen's making you suffer too."

"That's okay," Henry said, smiling at me. "It's a pretty day."

That was true. The morning drizzle had gone, and now it was sunny, a little breeze blowing through the trees.

No doubt one more reason Carmen thought I should go hacking my way through five miles of forest.

Surrounded by three little rays of sunshine, I sighed, giving up. "Fine," I said. "If we're going to get back by sunrise tomorrow, we'd better get started."

But I couldn't stay grumpy for long. Not when hiking involved being so… _close_… to Henry. He took my elbow to steer me, or reached for my hand to steady me on the more uneven areas.

I had just resigned myself with good grace to hiking for a few more hours when Taylor and Amy stopped ahead of us. "It's right up there," Taylor explained with a proud smile. "You guys can go ahead, if you want. We'll go back to the car and get some food for a late lunch."

I frowned, puzzled. "But I thought we were hiking five miles."

Amy looked at me askance. "Of course not," she said, chuckling. "Only a little under a mile. Not _everything _is exactly like the book."

"Oh," I said, my face going a little red. Forks seemed so close to Twilight's Forks that I'd never stopped to think that everything might not be the same.

"Ready to go see?" Henry asked, and once again his smile wiped away all my grouchiness. He still held my hand from helping me over a fallen log, and now he pulled me forward with him. My hand tingled, thrilled by the casual contact.

Just like in the book, we could see the dense green forest lightening up ahead, a spot of pure sunshine instead of the dappled rays on the forest floor.

Now I took the lead, still grasping Henry's hand, and he laughed. "Of course you choose now to get excited," he said.

"Of course," I replied pertly. "I was always excited to see the meadow. It was the hike I wasn't ecstatic about."

But our light conversation hushed as we entered Edward and Bella's meadow.

Here in the autumn, it wasn't really the right time of year for the wildflowers to grow. If I thought about it logically, I knew that these wildflowers were imported, planted to make the meadow perfectly parallel to the book.

That didn't even cross my mind. All that mattered was the sheer beauty in front of me. The openness, the _light_. I could see why this would be Edward's favorite place. It was so beautiful, so secluded and private.

For a long moment I stood there, my mouth wide open, and then I remembered Henry, who'd come up next to me.

I tore my eyes away from the meadow to a thing of even more beauty: my best friend's face. His eyes were wide with wonder. "Wow," was all he said. "It's something else, isn't it?"

Reluctantly I let go of his hand, and I ran into the center of the meadow, turning in a circle to look around me. I knew I would have to remember how it felt to see this magical, wonderful place for the first time, so that I could mimic the feeling on film.

Right then, I just lived in the moment. A smile stole across my face, and I laid down contentedly in the grass. I tried to remind myself that Taylor and Amy would be here with a picnic in about half an hour, but it seemed so impossible that this private world could be meant for someone other than Henry and me. Or Edward and Bella.

Henry came and laid next to me, within arm's reach, and I sighed in bliss. We laid next to one another in complete stillness, listening and looking and feeling. Finally, I turned my head to gaze at him, and found that he was already looking at me.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I whispered. I felt like speaking too loud would shatter this magic.

Hesitantly, Henry reached out and stroked my hair back with one hand. "That's not all that's beautiful," he whispered back, and I felt my entire body light on fire, as my brain tried to process what he was doing.

Because even though my mind was slow and had no idea what was going on, my heart knew that it was right.

Slowly, so carefully, he moved closer to me. His eyes searched mine, making certain I was okay with the closeness. And with the utmost gentleness he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me.

I couldn't breathe. The kiss was as soft, as warm, as the sunshine in the sky above us. When Henry pulled back I wanted to cry. I wanted this magic to stay with me forever. I took a long, calming breath. "Henry?" I murmured.

I opened my eyes and saw that his were closed, utter peace on his face. _More beautiful than anything I've ever seen_, I thought. I reached out, careful not to startle him, and brushed my fingers against his cheek. I understood at the deepest level possible Bella's ache for Edward. The way she believed she could never be good enough for this beautiful, perfect man. I knew in every bone of me how she felt.

His eyes opened, as familiar to me as my own. He didn't say anything, but held his arms open, with a foreign emotion in his eyes… Some mix of trust, calmness, and love.

Quietly- and praying to myself I didn't choose now to be clumsy- I scooted myself as close as I could, and heard the sigh of the wind as his arms closed tight around me, holding me closer. Close enough to be more content than I have ever known: lying in the grass with the sunshine, the breeze, and Henry.

Taylor and Amy came back with lunch far too soon. I wished I could've stayed like that, so safe and warm and _loved_, for the rest of time. But as soon as we heard their voices coming through the trees, Henry lightly kissed the top of my head and sat up.

Lunch passed in a blur of teasing conversation. Somehow, I managed to be coherent and normal, even so far as to argue with Amy about the various virtues of rolling chairs. She maintained that they were useless and annoying. I gasped in shock and defended them like they were my best friends.

But the entire time I was aware of Henry sitting beside me. The casual brush of his arm as he reached past me to get a bag of chips sent chills down my spine. I didn't eat much- Carmen would've been pleased. I still had the taste of Henry on my lips, and I didn't want to ruin that.

But a worry grew in me as we packed up the picnic and got ready to hike back to the main road. What had just happened was too personal, too elemental. How could I ever find words for it? What if it made things weird between me and Henry?

We exchanged normal, best friend small talk as we trucked on through the woods. Just like the previous trip, Henry held my hand to help me through the difficult parts. The only difference was that now he didn't let go, even when the hiking was easy.

Going back, it felt like something had changed.

As we drove back into town, I looked at the clock and realized that we'd spent more time in the meadow than I'd thought- or else I'd really slowed down the hiking process. The schedule had only given us two and a half hours at the meadow, but we'd spent four there.

When Taylor and Amy dropped us off back at the hotel, Pam was waiting, her high heels beating a staccato pattern on the porch. "You're an hour and a half late," she snapped.

Henry just shrugged. "Sorry," he said. "There was nothing we could do about it."

She glanced between the two of us for a long second, her sharp eyes noticing the little things I wouldn't have thought about- the grass in my hair, the stains on Henry's jeans. "Well, it's five o'clock now," she barked. "Katie, you have an acting lesson starting fifteen minutes ago. Henry, go do something productive."

And she stomped off to terrorize someone else.

Henry and I stood a moment in silence. "Katie…" he began, his voice unusually uncertain. "Er…"

Oh, no. We were not having this conversation _now_. I wasn't ready for it. "I guess I had better get to the Triplets," I said, with a nervous giggle. I was shocked at myself- I never giggle. "See you later."

And, like the coward I was, I ran away.

The acting lesson was predictably aggravating. I just could not concentrate on anything other than this afternoon. Brooklyn's limited patience finally snapped, saying, "Katie, get your head out of those clouds before I make them rain."

"Sorry," I muttered- a knee-jerk reaction. But my heart just was not in it tonight. I was too obsessed with my personal Edward to put myself into Bella's shoes.

And on some level in me, I was worried about that. What if this… whatever it was… with Henry kept up? What if it got more serious? Would I stop caring so much about the movie and put my energy more into real life?

I was relieved to finally escape the Triplets' clutches after another hour of trying to be more Bella-like. Even Brittany, usually the most even-tempered one, was angry with me. "It's not that you aren't being… Bella-ish," she said in frustration. "But it's like you're just being you, and that's close to Bella, but you aren't putting in the effort to be _her _instead of _you_."

I ran away from them too, in the end. All my courage- if I'd ever had any to begin with- had been sapped out of me for the day.

I went up to my room, wanting privacy, and wrote another blog for the Lexicon. As I was finishing that up and eating my room service, I heard a key in the door and stiffened. I'd forgotten, somehow, that Henry had slept in here last night.

He came in, looking adorably exhausted. "Hey," he said in greeting, standing just beyond the doorway.

"Hey," I replied, and whatever panic I'd had about the whole meadow situation evaporated when I saw his tired face. "Did you eat yet?" I gestured at my half-eaten food. "'Cause I've got half a sandwich and another piece of cake that desperately want to be eaten."

"Yeah, I got something downstairs," he answered. Then his old smile lit up the room, and he came over, pulling up a chair next to me. "But I think I'll take you up on the cake."

And things felt normal for the next hour, as we chatted amiably and had a minor food fight. (I apologize, in retrospect, to our maid.) It was only when I glanced out the window and saw that night had fallen that I realized how tired I was- as tired as Henry looked.

"Ready to go to sleep?" I asked, powering down the computer. I purposely didn't look at him. If he didn't want to sleep in my room tonight- there was still that weird electricity between us- I didn't blame him. In fact, I almost wished he would choose not to.

"If it's okay," he answered, staring at me until I finally stared back at him. His hand reached out to cover mine, and I felt that spark jump between us again.

"Sure," I said. "No problem. I mean, your stuff's already in here, isn't it? Better than moving it around this late…" I trailed off when I noticed that I was rambling.

"I'll take the couch tonight," he said, standing and throwing our paper plates away.

"No, you won't," I said peaceably. "Same deal goes. I'm sleeping on the couch, here or in the lobby." _Although now that I think about it, the lobby might be better for my sanity._

He shook his head and ruffled my hair. My heart skipped a beat. Something about his touch made me react this way.

Could it be that I just flat-out loved this guy?

We brushed our teeth side by side at the sink. Henry laughed when I missed the sink spitting my toothpaste out. He reached over, grabbed the hand towel, and cleaned it up for me. That was a little disgusting, I know, but so terribly, painfully sweet.

I had this… vision, for lack of a better word… into a perfect future. Where thirty years down the road, Henry and I were living together. I knew it would work. After all, he at least loves me enough to clean up my spit. It was these little homey things that struck me most about him, more than kisses and romantic moments. (Although don't get me wrong- I don't mind those either.)

But it was in moments like this, brushing our teeth and saying good night, that I wanted to be with Henry. Have you ever heard the saying "home is where the heart is"? With Henry, I felt like I was home, no matter what city or even state we were in.

I guess I'm just hopeless that way.

We went to sleep in our respective rooms, and I was out like a light. That's unusual for me; I always have to stay awake for an hour in order to get bored enough to go to sleep. I just have too many thoughts running a marathon in my head.

But tonight, I was peaceful enough- or exhausted enough- to fall asleep right away.

Could it really be only last night we'd arrived in Forks?

I may have gone to sleep peacefully, but I didn't stay that way. Sometime in the night, I began to have a nightmare.

_We were in the meadow we'd been in this afternoon, but things were different. The sun was gone, and in its place was blackness. A new moon._

_Henry was walking ahead of me. I grinned to myself and snuck up on him, trying to surprise him. But right as I got close enough to touch him, he vanished._

_It happened over and over again. No matter how fast I moved, he was gone before I could catch him. And I finally spoke, breaking the oppressing silence. "Henry?" I called, running forward. I tripped and fell._

_He stopped walking, and I nearly cried with relief. It was going to be okay. Henry was here._

_But then he turned around, and I did cry out. His face was cold and angry. "Go away," he said, his tone cutting. "You made your choice. Stay away from me."_

_He was gone. Vanished, like all the other imaginary Henrys. And I stayed there in the black, cold meadow, the wildflowers wilted and the grass dead. I began to sob, whispering, "Henry, Henry, Henry," over and over._

"Katie?" an angel's voice said worriedly near my ear. I felt my shoulders shake, warm hands on them. It took me a moment to connect the voice and the hands. Then I felt the tears staining my face and realized I was still sobbing. _Henry, Henry…_

"What's wrong?" I asked, drowsy.

"I think you were having a nightmare," Henry said, and he stroked the hair back from my face. "You were crying."

My breath hitched. "I'm okay," I lied. I could still feel the coldness in my chest, the darkness of the ruined meadow making it hard to breathe normally. I remembered the feeling of fear I'd had, as I was telling Henry that if there were no bad times we'd never appreciate the good ones.

_Please, God. Please let everything stay the way it is right now._

"Are you sure?" Henry asked. All of a sudden I noticed that I wasn't lying down anymore. I was huddled into a ball on Henry's lap. A messy, pathetic ball.

Henry had his arms around me, but as he spoke I could hear his angel's voice saying, "Go away. You made your choice. Stay away from me." And I began to cry again. I couldn't help it.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," I kept saying, like a mantra.

"What was this nightmare about?" Henry asked, rubbing my back in slow, soothing circles. I laid my head against his shoulder, calmer now that he was here and still seemed to like me.

"I don't remember," I lied. "It was bad, though." I sighed. "Sorry I got you up. I'm okay now." I tried to disentangle myself from his arms, and he let me. I had to bite back a little groan of disappointment. Now that he wasn't rocking me anymore, I felt the horror come back to me.

But he needed sleep.

"Night," I said, and laid down on the couch. To my surprise and eternal happiness, Henry laid down behind me, wrapping his arms around me.

"You can't fool me, sweetheart," he said gently. "Go to sleep."

I turned so I faced him and buried my head in his chest, reveling in the closeness and the feeling of perfect safety. "Thanks," I said with a happy little sigh, and fell back to sleep cradled in his arms.

Not only did the horrific nightmare not bother me, but it was the best night's sleep I'd ever had.

When I woke up in the morning, my first thought was: _Mm. Henry. _My second was _Oh, God. Henry!_

I quietly tried to sit up and move away from him, my face going beet red. I'd just slept with Henry!

Oh, no. As if things weren't complicated before. I knew I would always want him with me when I slept now, and there when I woke. That comfort had been something so simple and sweet, so wonderful to wake up to. I wished I'd made him go back to his own bed, but at the same time I thought defensively that no matter what pain it would cause me in the future, I was glad for everything that happened with Henry yesterday.

I wanted to get up and shower so that when Henry woke up I'd be bright and chipper and normal. There was only one problem: he wouldn't let me get up.

"Mmmm," he murmured, and pulled me closer as I tried to sit up, nestling his face in my hair. Then he let out a loud snore.

I choked back a laugh. Henry, the epitome of the perfect man, snores very loudly when he wants to.

With a mental groan and heartfelt cheer, I settled in to wait for him to wake up and let me out of his hug-cage. I inhaled deeply, reminding myself to pick up a bottle of his cologne as soon as the movie was over.

I took the time to just stare up at him, enjoying the sight of him with tousled hair and an almost childlike innocence on his face.

I'd seen him asleep before, but not this way. Not with this perspective.

As I reached up to brush a stray piece of coppery hair away from his eyes, he let out a loud snort and those eyes creaked open, blinking back the sleep.

My hand dropped hastily, but I couldn't seem to find a good place for it. I finally settled it on his back, but that still felt so _personal._

Henry was watching me, grinning- probably at my red face. "Good morning," he said softly.

"Hi, sleepyhead," I responded, grinning back. "Do you mind letting me up, since you're awake?"

A faint look of surprise crossed his face, still half asleep. "Oh. Sorry." His arms loosened around me, but then tightened again, to the point where I could hardly breathe.

"Hey," I protested mildly, squirming. His grin widened.

"What's the magic word?"

_You have _got _to be kidding me. _"Let me up, please?" I rephrased.

"Nope," he said amiably, arms still wrapped around me.

I poked him. "Fine, what's the magic word?"

He shook his head. "You have to guess."

I scowled blackly. "How about… let me go or I'll do something mean?"

"You'd never be mean to me," Henry laughed. He was more playful than I'd seen him in a long time- since he and Megan broke up. "Any more nightmares last night?"

"No." I frowned, thinking. "Magic word… magic word…"

Henry relented. "Say you love me."

My insides twisted up. _Oh. _"Say you love me," I said, the perfect copycat.

He grimaced, but released me. "Smart aleck."

My laughter was cut shot as I fell from the couch to the floor. "Oof," I said, blinking back my look of surprise. I hadn't realized I was so close to the edge of the couch. Apparently, near had Henry.

"Sorry," he said with genuine chagrin. He sat up and lifted me to sit next to him. "So, what today?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea. We actually have free time until this afternoon, don't we?"

He nodded. "Exactly. It feels strange, doesn't it?" He thought a moment. "I may be killing myself here, but we didn't get around to your driving lesson yesterday. How about it?"

I smiled. As long as the 'we' was in it, I didn't care what we did- or how dangerous it was to our health. "Sure. You want to shower?"

"That depends," he said. "Do I smell?" And he leaned closer to me.

I lied. "No." In reality, he did smell- he smelled amazing.

"Then I think I'll leave it until tonight," he said, with a conspiratorial smile. "Don't tell Pam. She's a clean freak."

"Can do," I agreed cheerfully. We got changed, grabbed a Pop Tart (this was becoming a tradition), and walked out to Henry's car. As we went outside, I groaned. For a moment I'd forgotten we were in Forks.

And naturally, it was raining buckets.

"Race you!" Henry yelled, covering his head with his jacket, and we ran headlong for the car. I repeated in my head: _Don't trip, don't trip, don't trip_…

We finally got there and Henry tossed me the keys, climbing into the passenger side. "Come on, get behind the wheel," he coaxed, seeing my deer-in-the-headlights look. "You'll be fine."

"Do you remember the last time I drove in public?" I asked in amazement. "Your mirrors do." It was true: one of his mirrors was bent backwards.

"Get out of the rain and drive," he said. "You'll never learn otherwise. Besides, it's not like this place is full of traffic."

It was true. The work-and-school crowd had already dissipated, and everyone else wasn't up yet. Forks reminded me of my hometown that way: quiet and safe.

I grudgingly climbed into the driver's seat, secretly pleased that Henry was trusting me this much. And I actually did pretty well: I didn't crash into anything, but I scared the bejeesus out of the people driving in front of me on the main road.

After all, the gas pedal and I were shaky acquaintances.

After a few hours of practice, I parked back in the hotel parking lot. The car wasn't exactly in the lines, and it wasn't really straight, but it was parked, and that was good enough for us.

I took the key out of the ignition and tried to get out of the car, only to find that it was locked. That was funny- it automatically unlocks when you put it in park, right?

"Wait a second, Katie," Henry said, sounding amused. "I think we need to talk."

I felt like a cornered animal. Smart guy. He should've known I'd have trouble finding the unlock button. "About what?" I asked, guarded.

"Stuff."

"Much as I would love to," I said, my face heating up, "I think it's time for an acting lesson."

Aha! I had found the unlock button! I pressed it and reached for the handle, but Henry was too fast for me. He hit lock again.

"The Triplets aren't even here today," he said, grinning. "Although I think it's interesting that you'd lie to get out of a locked car with me." He reached over and unbuckled my seatbelt, bringing us far too close for comfort. "Why are you afraid of me, Katie?"

"I'm not," I said- a gut reaction.

"Then why are you trying to get away?" he asked, and I stopped breathing when I felt his lips skim my jaw line.

"Because… I… am afraid of you," I concluded. He grimaced and I continued talking. I figured if I had to have this conversation anyway, I might as well get my point of view out there. "Well, not you, exactly. I could never be afraid of you. But… I'm afraid of… my reaction to you," I finished, pleased. There.

"Exactly," Henry said. "Are you going to just keep on bulldozing your way through… whatever's going on… or are we going to talk about it?"

I didn't even have to think about it. "Bulldozing," I said decisively. "Much easier than talking."

Henry sighed with exasperation- and amusement- but moved so he was back in his seat, and hit the unlock button. "Let's go eat lunch, then," he said, shaking his head.

Then he froze.

"What?" I asked. "What is it?"

I followed his line of sight through the parking lot to the lobby, where someone was waiting for us. Well, waiting for Henry. My stomach clenched, and I wished I could go back in time, have the talk I needed to have with Henry- because now I may not have the chance.

It was Megan. And she had come back to Henry.

**AN: Hopefully you still like it? Thanks for reading in any case!**

**--Long John Silvuh**


	25. Almost Lover

**AN: Dang, folks, this is LONG. And you might want to grab a Kleenex. Or an ax to chop me in half, depending on your violent tendencies.**

**A brief recap of the songfic chapter rules: You have to tell me (WITHOUT Googling or searching for the lyrics haha) the artist and song title before the next chapter is posted. **

**QOTC: Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?**

Chapter Twenty-Four: Almost Lover

_Your fingertips across my skin_

Megan? This was not good. This was not _fair. _This beautiful, smart, talented, lovable girl was proof that the world was out to get me- or else I just had really bad luck.

Henry got out of the car and stood, as pale as a ghost, staring at _her _like he couldn't believe his eyes. My heart ached when I saw the longing in his expression. Why couldn't he look at me like that?

And then Henry left me, without saying anything. I doubt I even crossed his mind. Nothing mattered to him now but the gorgeous girl standing in the front lobby, waiting for him.

It was then that I knew I would never, ever hate Jacob Black again. I might even root for him. Because now I was Jacob. I was the third wheel, the intruder, the one who just makes things complicated. I forgave Jacob everything.

Megan reached up to touch Henry's face, and his answering smile ripped something in me. I turned away and went to the side door, fumbling for my room key. I couldn't watch any more.

_The palm trees swaying in the wind_

_Images._

He never came to bed. Either he didn't sleep at all, or he slept somewhere away from me. _With Megan?…_

No. I shook my head frantically, fighting my drooping eyelids. I checked the clock for the fifth time in three minutes. It was still two in the morning.

Where was he?

Surely he wouldn't take her back. Not after the conversation we'd (almost) had this afternoon. Not after the meadow yesterday, or waking up next to each other this morning. He couldn't go back to her. He wouldn't. If not because of me (my heart twinged painfully), then because Megan hadn't trusted him enough the first time. I felt a wave of conviction wash over me. Henry had moved on. Everything was fine.

_Then why_, my logic fretted, _isn't he home yet?_ Funny how I referred to this hotel as home. It was temporary, I reminded myself. Then I remembered my realization from yesterday, very true and very pathetic- so much so that I felt that rip in me open wider. Home was wherever Henry was. I had it _bad._

Where. Was. He?

My racing mind conjured all sorts of possible scenarios. One: He was spending the night with Megan, making up. I cringed by reflex. No. It couldn't be that one.

Two: He had sent Megan on her merry way after a long talk. Or a short talk- I wasn't too picky. And then he had lost his room key. And his cell phone had died. And he felt so guilty about abandoning me that he wouldn't knock and wake me up.

I brightened. That had to be it!

I tried to call his cell phone, to test my entirely plausible theory. It went straight to voicemail. Henry's phone was dead! I was right!

Or. Or he had turned it off while he was with Megan.

I went in these impossible circles all night. Eventually, I tried to sleep. I had shooting tomorrow- actually, today- at the high school. But I couldn't sleep, not without knowing where Henry was. Desperate to at least nap, I finally sat on the couch, remembering how I'd felt in this exact spot last night. What had happened.

I laid down, imagining Henry's arms around me, the familiar scent of him enveloping me. And I slept.

Henry had to come back… didn't he?

_You sang me Spanish lullabies_

I woke up a little over an hour later to the blaring of the hotel alarm clock. If anything, I felt more tired than I had when I'd gone to sleep.

Worse, the alarm clock reminded me why I'd stayed up so late. Henry wasn't here. It was the first time in what seemed like forever that he hadn't been here to wake me up. I decided I'd moped enough for one twenty-four-hour period. At the set, I'd see Henry. He had to be there, right? I mean, Edward's sort of crucial to Twilight. And everything would be okay. He'd reassure me and things would go back to normal.

Well, whatever passed for normal between us. We were weird.

Maybe Megan had already gone back to whatever part of Hades she came from. Cool. Happy endings all around!

But maybe Henry wouldn't be there this morning- because he'd eloped with Megan to Europe and they were already honeymooning.

Okay, okay, I was overreacting. Despite the fact that they couldn't even be in Europe yet, I wasn't Henry's mother. He didn't have to stick with me or tell me where he was going when. Just because his perfect, everything-I'm-not, jealousy-worthy supermodel ex had showed up didn't mean anything.

I had succeeded with my little morning pep talk and summoned enough energy to get dressed. I didn't bother with my hair or makeup- Orla would need a clean slate to start out with anyway. I shook my head at myself, smiling. My world view had flip-flopped in a matter of minutes.

Depressed, slightly manic teenager predicting her personal doomsday, meet the new me- a girl who is lucky, happy, and whom NOTHING will upset this morning. Not even her erstwhile best friend, who she is in love with. NOTHING will upset me this morning!

I really should've known better. As I stepped out of the hotel room with my Twilight tote bag, Henry was exiting a room down the hallway.

He beamed at me. Sheesh, the guy was _glowing_. "Good morning," he said cheerfully. "I was just coming to see if you were ready yet…" His voice trailed off. "Um. What's wrong?"

"Whose room is that?" I whispered, my heart stopping. I thought I knew the answer- so much for my pep talk.

"Mine," he said, watching my face. "Remember? I do actually have my own room." He chuckled. This information relieved me for about one second.

"Why didn't you come back last night? Everything's in my room." I wished I sounded more assertive.

Something shadowy passed over his Sunshine Club smile. "It would've looked kind of bad, don't you think?"

Yep, world crashing here. "To who?" I asked, finding my voice at last. "Megan?"

I only waited to see his nod before I turned on my heel (without tripping, thank you) and walked away. _Anywhere but here_. Henry caught up easily.

_The sweetest sadness in your eyes_

_Clever trick._

"Katie, listen to me, okay?" he said, sounding confused. "I spent over an hour yesterday convincing her that there was nothing between you and me. I couldn't just go to your room. She doesn't get how it is with us…"

I knew he continued talking, trying to help me understand, but my ears stopped listening. Instead they replayed one key, cutting phrase over and over again: _Nothing between you and me._

We were to the lobby by now, and I felt like I was about to faint. I was almost grateful to hear a voice that wasn't Henry's say worriedly,

"Katie? Are you okay?" Jason caught my arm as I swayed. Normally I would've protested his possessive touch, but I relied too much on the steadying pressure of it to shrug him off. "Maybe you should sit down- you don't look so good."

Henry took my other arm. "She's fine," he said brusquely. "I'll take care of her." He stepped closer to me. "Let's go. We're going to be late." The two guys stared each other down in their little game of tug-of-war.

Acid burned in me- he acted like nothing had changed, like he hadn't made a choice. Even though I knew I'd regret this later, anger made me stupid… and brave.

I pulled away from him, towards Jason. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. "That's all right," I said, not smiling. "Jason already offered to give me a ride this morning."

Henry glared at the offensive subject. "Oh. Really."

"Yes," Jason answered, his grip tightening on me.

Henry turned his icy stare on me now. I fought my instinct to cringe. "And you're going to go with him."

"Yes," I said. Because I couldn't stand to be near Henry now. It hurt too much.

My best friend's gaze was first angry, and then bewildered, and finally hurt. "Okay, then," he muttered, and I didn't miss the silent threat in his eyes as he looked at Jason. Then he glanced at me one more time, those beautiful eyes pleading with me to just give up. I held firm and shook my head. No matter what it cost me, I wouldn't let him see how much power he had over me.

And Henry left- shutting the lobby door with a little more force than was really necessary, I thought.

I immediately stepped away from Jason… close enough that we were clearly together, but far enough that he wasn't touching me anymore. "Thanks," I said, tight-lipped.

His sharp eyes were analyzing me. "I'm guessing something happened there?"

I sighed. "Yeah. But he doesn't seem to realize it."

Jason gave me a tentative smile. "You want to talk about it on the way over to the high school? I can listen."

Um, thanks but no thanks, buddy. "That's okay. You don't actually have to give me a ride- I just needed a reason to bail on Henry."

"Hey," he said, keeping pace with me as I walked outside. "Seriously, let me drive you over there, for my own safety. If I show up without you in the car, your friend's going to think I dumped your body somewhere."

"True," I agreed. I took a deep breath. "Okay, thanks. Again."

"No problem," he said, and he opened his car door for me. I sat back and closed my eyes, wishing I could've had a little more sleep last night. He settled into the driver's seat and started the car.

"You want to talk about it, or leave it be?" he asked, and began to drive, not looking at me.

I considered. Did I want to trust Jason again? Not really, but there weren't a lot of other options right now… and I did need someone to talk to. "He and his girlfriend broke up a while back," I said, summarizing as well as I could. "After three years. And things were looking kind of good for… I don't know. Him and me, I guess. But she showed up last night."

Jason winced. "Ouch." Then he shook his head. "Let me guess: he's giving her another chance, even though you're the one who's been here for him."

"Yeah," I said, amazed at his intuition. "And the worst part is, he doesn't seem to understand why I'm upset."

He frowned. "You're kidding. You said stuff happened between you, though?"

"Yeah," I said again. "Or at least, it was beginning to. But this morning… I don't know. It's like he just reverted to back before he and Megan broke up, before any of it happened. Like we could just go back to how we used to be."

"Then he's an idiot," Jason said frankly. He pulled into a parking space, and I blinked. We were already at the high school. The ride had passed quickly- even though I'd expected it to be uncomfortable and long. "To choose her, I mean. Have you told him why you're mad at him?"

"No," I whispered. "I couldn't. I was too shocked."

"Then you need to," he said, sounding very sure of himself. "That's the only way you'll know for sure."

"Know what?" I asked, a lump forming in my throat.

"If you want to wait on him," he said. "If he's worth it." He got out, came around, and opened the door for me. As I looked up at him, I remembered why I'd gone on a date with him in the first place. He was cute.

But then I remembered the horrific hangover his date had given me, and I decided not to forgive him completely.

I climbed out and smiled at him. "Thanks, Jason. For the ride, and for… listening."

He smiled back at me. "You're welcome." A faint look of discomfort crossed his face. "And, hey… I'm sorry. About back in LA. I didn't mean for that stuff to happen. I just wanted you to have fun, and I think I went a little overboard."

I stared at him for a few seconds, and he looked genuinely contrite. My heart thawed a little more. "It's okay," I said, and I meant it.

"Really," he insisted as we walked into the high school. "Let me make it up to you. How can I make it better?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Henry watching us- and let me tell you, he didn't look too pleased. I plastered another smile on my face. "Go easy on me in math, and we're good," I teased. Jason grinned at me.

I tried to decide if making Henry mad was a good idea. Probably not, but I was in an angry mood. I reached out and gave Jason a friendly hug. He laughed and squeezed my shoulder before heading off to set up our tutoring stuff.

_Time to face the music_, I thought as Henry continued to scowl blackly at me. He'd better be careful or his face would get stuck that way. He walked toward me, arms crossed. I felt like I was being cornered. Was I allowed to run away, and save this for later?

But I ached all over as I recalled what Jason had said. I needed to tell Henry why I was so upset- since he was too dense to figure it out. Then… then I would worry about things I can't change.

_I never want to see you unhappy_

_I thought you'd want the same for me._

"Nice morning," I said sweetly, as Henry came within hearing distance. He grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the bustling cafeteria.

"We need to talk," he said, and I shrugged to myself. Here, there, anywhere, as long as I got to have my say. We ended up in an empty classroom. I sat on the edge of the teacher's desk and waited for him to begin- and begin he did. Immediately. "What is wrong with you? Don't you remember how it ended up, the last time you trusted that guy? Because if you don't, I do! I was the one watching you throw up all night long!"

My jaw dropped. With everything else, he wanted to talk about me spending time with _Jason_? "So what?" I asked, tone clipped. "I'm supposed to just sit there with him every time we're on set and not talk to him? He's not so bad."

"This is exactly what I was afraid of," Henry said furiously. "You are way too trusting, Katie. He makes pretty eyes at you and you'll follow him anywhere he goes."

"Why, because I'm not used to guys liking me?" I asked, nettled. "You think I'm that stupid and naïve? I'm not eloping with him, I'm letting him give me a ride to the set. And you can just leave it alone because you aren't me and you weren't there that night."

"I will not leave it alone. Maybe you think you can handle him, Katie, but I know you and I know that you are _gullible_. Just because he seems to want you, you convince yourself you want him too. Is that really healthy?" His angel voice was dripping with condescension.

Okay. I had not come to talk about Jason. "Oh, yeah? Well then. Since you know me so well, why am I upset right now?" I asked through my teeth. "Besides the fact that you're being a jealous moron?"

"I am not being a…" Henry's voice trailed off. "Whatever. It's beside the point. The reason you're upset… is…" He frowned in frustration. "Enlighten me."

"I am _upset_," I yelled, "because you cannot just get back with Megan and not talk to me about it. You cannot leave me hanging there all night last night just because your life is the way you want it again. You cannot _do_ that to me, Henry, and expect things to stay the same. You made a choice and now you have to live with it, but don't expect me to."

Henry was staring at me, his jaw nearly to the floor. "This is about Megan?"

"Of course it is!" I said, angry tears springing to my eyes. "What about…" It was _hard_. I had to choke the phrase out. "You and me. What was happening. How do you think it felt, that right after our little talk yesterday, you saw Megan and I became nonexistent? Do you think I'm _okay_ with that?"

"But you didn't even want to talk about it," Henry said, his voice rising. "You couldn't be mature about it and just think about anything like _that_ with me. Do you think I was okay with that?" He mimicked me, bitingly sarcastic. He had transformed. This wasn't my Henry. This was a stranger.

"Plus," he continued, "I was with Megan for three years. Did you expect me to just let all that history go because I met you? You, who I've known for… what… six months, max? I didn't know what to do last night, Katie! Yes, I'm attracted to you, but it's Megan, not some other random girl. I can't turn her away. Not after all that time."

"Then that's it?" I asked, but it was rhetorical. I saw the answer as he looked at a spot on the wall behind me. "That's it. You think this time will be any different with her? When she got so jealous over something so innocent? You think she'll _trust _you any more?"

I took a deep breath, barreling along my track. "You convinced Megan that there's 'nothing between you and me'." I saw a flicker in his eyes, but I went on. It was too late, and I was hurting too much. "Well, maybe you were right. Because right now I can't think of anyone I ha…."

My words cut off sharply, and I let out an involuntary gasp. That was not what I had meant to say. It wasn't true… was it?

Henry stared at me, the anger retreating. "What were you going to say?" I didn't answer. I couldn't. "Were you going to say anyone you hate more?"

Words failed me. "It's not true," I whispered, looking at my feet. He let out a derisive snort. "But you would deserve it," I said, my anger coming back in full force- along with a heavy measure of guilt. "After all, I'm gullible. You proved that." I looked up at him bitterly. "I believed you."

I felt myself begin to shake, and I knew that my control was shot. I reached for the door, and my stomach felt like lead. With a chilling premonition, I realized that if I left now, this would never be repaired.

All I needed was something from him. Any concession or forgiveness from him, and I would have thrown myself at his feet apologizing- but he just drove the nails into the coffin and sealed it shut. "To convince Megan that I wasn't interested in you," he said quietly, "I had to promise her not to be close to you anymore. I actually regretted that, you know. I was going to try to get around it."

My back to him, I lost it. "That won't be a problem," I whispered, and I left, the door shutting behind me.

_Goodbye, my almost lover._

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream._

I stumbled blindly away from the room. I didn't know where I was, or where I was going, but I knew that I needed to get as far away as I could before the door opened and he came out.

Some insane, optimistic part of me hoped he would come after me. He didn't. This was too much hurt… and I knew that at least a small part of it was my fault.

_I can't think of anyone I hate more. _I completed that sentence in my head, and then I begin to cry, because I knew it wasn't true. It wasn't true at all. Even now, I still loved him more I could have ever thought was possible. But he had believed it. He'd believed what I had almost said.

So he didn't come after me.

Somehow I ended up in the back of the building, and I winced when I saw the door open from the outside. The light blinded me in the dark hallway.

A cart pushed its way in, and I felt a small bit of relief when I saw the person pushing it. "Hey, what are you doing back…." Orla stopped talking for a moment, then finished with "Who died?"

Okay. So Orla is my makeup artist, hairstylist, rolling chair supplier, and most of all my friend. She hurriedly shut the door and came over to me. "Katie? What's wrong?"

I shook my head, keeping the tears in check this time. If Orla was here, it was time to start getting ready to film.

Oh, no. Filming. Which involved Henry. Namely, being close to and friendly with Henry. Oh, no.

"Orla, I'm going to get fired," I said, my eyes widening. "Can I get fired?"

"Well, at this point it would make things difficult," she said. "Help me push this stupid thing." I obediently took the other end of the cart and helped pull it through the hallways. "Why were you crying? And why would you get fired?" Her eyebrows shot up. "You didn't sleep with the director, did you?"

My nose wrinkled, and I laughed a little- exactly she she'd intended. "I don't think I'll do a very good job today," I confessed. "I had a really, really big fight with Henry." My eyes began to swim again. Somehow, admitting it made it worse.

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just let me be?_

"No way," she said, shocked. I nodded mutely, and she frowned. "But you two were like two peas in a pod last time I checked."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Things change." My throat closed up. "Hey, thanks, but… do you think we could talk about something else? We're about to go into the zoo."

Orla looked over my shoulder, saw the cafeteria approaching, and nodded. "Good idea. Do you know what you're wearing on set yet?"

I shook my head. "Haven't been to the costume room. Sorry."

She smiled at me. "Not a problem. Just run and check on that while I unload this stuff, all right?" She grimaced. "And no more crying, got it? I've got my work cut out for me as it is."

I managed an answering smile. "Got it."

We got her cart to her little makeshift cubicle and I took a deep breath. I knew that I would have to see Henry; his makeup artist was parked right beside the costumes. I wasn't ready for it, emotionally, but I inhaled and tucked all my feelings away somewhere deep inside of me, where they'd have to stay until filming was finished.

He was there. Of course he was there, but I'd been hoping he might already be out and about. The worst part was that he looked normal. He was chatting up his stylist like nothing was wrong, like it was just your average day on set.

His indifference made me stronger. I deliberately didn't look at him as I took today's costume- simple jeans, shirt, jacket, and tennis shoes- off the rack and went back to Orla. I could do this. I could ignore him and hope that when I had to talk to him during filming, I could achieve some sort of normalcy.

_So long, my luckless romance_

_My back is turned on you_

Orla was almost finished with my makeup and hair when she brought it up again. "Any danger of crying?" she checked. I shook my head. "Good. Wouldn't want to mess up the artwork." She put her hand on my shoulder. "Want to tell me what happened, or does that put us in danger?"

"No, I'm fine," I said, my voice toneless but steady. "His ex showed up right after we talked about where the two of us were going. He chose to try going out with her again. We argued about it."

"You know what I think?" Orla asked, with a gentle smile. She massaged some sort of mousse into my hair as I shook my head again. "Hold still. I think that he'll get over her, that's not the problem. She'll remind him soon enough why it didn't work the first time around."

She surveyed me critically, then reached for the eyeliner again. "The problem here isn't whether or not you still love him, either, because that isn't really a choice. You have to decide if you still _want _him."

I swallowed heavily. "There's a difference?"

"Love isn't a choice you make," she said, sounding much older than she was. In reality, she was only a few years older than me. "You have no control over it. But you have to realize that if he ever comes back to you, you're his second choice. The decision for you is whether he's worth it. If he's worth being second best."

What I loved about her was that she didn't judge. She didn't tell me to tell Henry to take a hike if that ever happened. She understood that sometimes you love someone so completely, you're willing to take whatever part of them you can get.

"All right," she finally said, giving me one more look. "You're gorgeous. Go knock their socks off."

My eyes filled again. "Thanks, Orla." I hugged her.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. "No crying, remember? That would be some thanks." Then she hugged me back, and I hadn't realized until then just how much I needed it. "You're welcome. Now really, go to work."

I grinned at her, made sure my emotions were still locked in that place deep inside of me, and left the cubicle with my head high.

_Should've known you'd bring me heartache._

_Almost lovers always do._

Sometime in between crying a jag and getting made over, I'd realized something about myself. I was stronger than this. Sure, maybe I'd break down later, when I was by myself. But for now, I could beat this. I loved Twilight so much that it was real to me. What did one real-life boy have to do with doing a good job at this?

There were a million girls who would die to be where I was. I was lucky. Not everything in my life was dark.

With that in mind, I listened to Bob's briefing about the scene. It was the lunch scene where Edward first sits by himself and invites Bella over. I didn't have to check the script- I knew these lines by heart.

I took another deep pull of calming oxygen and walked over to where I would begin the scene, sitting down on the sidelines. I was ready for this. I was good enough.

Plus… Simon was here today, and if I wasn't at my best, he'd definitely fire me. With enthusiasm.

_We walked along a crowded street_

When I opened my eyes again, I saw with a little burst of pain that Henry was looking in my direction. I looked away, and so did he, sitting down at the lunch table.

The part I was most worried about was the beginning. Talking to him. Once I started, once I convinced myself that he wasn't Henry- he was Edward- I would be fine.

Finally we began shooting, and I went down the lunch line with Jessica. She rambled on and on while I glanced back at the Cullen table, where Edward very clearly wasn't sitting.

I sighed, disappointed. He hadn't come to school after all.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you again," Jessica said, nudging me. "I wonder why he's sitting alone today."

My head snapped up. I glanced from her to Edward, who was smiling a crooked, beautiful smile at me. Then he raised his hand and motioned for me to join him.

"Does he mean you?" Jessica asked in disbelief.

"Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework," I said for her benefit. "Um, I'd better go see what he wants."

I walked across the cafeteria, tripping a little on the edge of a table. This was the hard part. I stood in front o f Henry- _Edward_, I corrected myself. "Why don't you sit with me today?" he said with another smile. He looked… easygoing. Normal.

Jerk. Couldn't _he _have an emotional breakdown every once in a while?

"This is different," I said quietly, not sure what to say. I knew that was the line, but… I felt like I was scrambling for words.

"Well… I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly," he said, rushed, and I sank into my familiar Bella state of mind again. I made it through the scene, and I even survived the two more takes Bob required to get it perfect.

Then I was free. Free until tomorrow, when we'd shoot another cafeteria scene- where Edward's asking Bella questions about herself.

But then my bad luck intervened. "Hey!" Bob called after me. After all, I was getting the heck out of Dodge. I stopped reluctantly. "There's somebody here to talk to you two. Stick around for a little bit."

Life is not fair. In fact, it is cruel.

There was this… wall of silence between me and Henry as we waited. A reporter and photographer came toward us. "We just need a few shots for an article I'm doing about the movie," the reporter explained, introducing himself. "Could the two of you, you know, just look friendly."

Easier said than done.

_You took my hand and danced with me_

_Images…_

Nevertheless, I tried. I smiled and inched a little closer to him. Maybe a milli-inch. The photographer said diplomatically, "Maybe you two could get a little closer? Mr. Cavill, your arm around her… Thanks, guys."

I was frozen, the smile stuck on my face. Henry's arm was around me, but it didn't feel right. It felt cold. And as soon as the photographer put up the camera, he released me like I was burning him.

I walked out to the parking lot. Unfortunately, so did Henry. He walked behind me in chilly silence. When the front door was in sight, I breathed a sigh of relief, and I hoped he didn't see it. "Do you need a ride?" he asked, and I almost didn't recognize the voice. It was so emotionless and hard.

By now we were outside in the rain, and not alone. "Hey, Katie!" Jason called. "Ready to go back to the hotel?" He was leaning against his car, playing with his keys.

I felt Henry grow even stonier- if possible. Did I need a ride from Henry? Once hell froze over. "Thanks, Jason," I called back, and I left Henry standing there. Too late for saying sorry.

I got back to the hotel safe and sound, exchanging small talk with Jason. We needed to catch up on my school work- tomorrow would be good, I agreed. After shooting. When we came to the lobby, he hesitated. I waited for him to say goodbye.

"If you need anything," he said quietly, "you still have my number, right?"

"Yeah," I said. "Thanks."

We exchanged goodbyes and I went to my room, where I could have my much-needed emotional breakdown in peace. I set my tote bag on the counter and sank down to the floor, unable to move.

I'd been restraining this for too long. The feelings swamped me, flooded through me, and I had no choice but to race along with them.

_And when you left you kissed my lips_

_You told me you would never, ever forget_

_These images…_

Memories assaulted me. Meeting Henry at the auditions. Calling him for the first time. The auditions in Columbus and LA. Kissing and holding hands, hugging and sleeping side by side. Being tourists in LA. Chomping down Pop Tarts before hazardous driving lessons. Little jokes that no one else would have understood. The airport when I'd had to go home, playing Scrabble and listening to each others' iPods.

The reel of pictures we'd taken in one of those photo booths. Driving here without an air conditioner- running from Sam, his stalker, and having to talk our way through a police officer. Him showing up to rescue me at school and bring me back to LA with him. That bar in LA where he'd spun around on rolling stools with me. The video was on YouTube, wasn't it? Some record that we'd ever been friends?

The meadow. My nightmare, that was all too true now. The last six months washed over me and I was powerless against them. I broke, sobbing until all my tears were gone and had faded into dry heaves.

The rip in my chest wasn't just wider now; it was all that existed. Nothing else was in me anymore but the hole. Silently, I let myself say goodbye to all my memories, but it was much more bitter and difficult to say goodbye to my hope. My hope that I would be with Henry, like I knew was right.

My arms were around myself, rocking on the floor, when I heard a knock on the door. I couldn't answer it- anyone there would think I was a madwoman. I hurriedly stifled my crying and got up, forcing my legs to move me into the other room. Out of hearing…

Except the person who knocked had a room key. I heard the door open and I stiffened- only one person had a key to my room, besides me.

_Goodbye, my almost lover._

_Goodbye, my hopeless dream._

I hastily turned away and sat on the bed, hoping that he would leave. I'd known that he would have to come back, at least to get his things, but I'd hoped that he would give me more time.

But maybe he hadn't realized the state I was in, because he didn't feel the same way. Maybe it didn't hurt him to have me gone.

"Katie?"

I heard the whisper, and fresh tears sprang into my eyes. That was a surprise- I thought they were all gone. I didn't answer; I just went into the bathroom, took his shampoo and soap, and set them on the carpet outside. Then I shut the door and locked myself into the little room.

_Don't see me_, I prayed. _Go away and pretend you didn't see me like this._

And at first it seemed that he obeyed my very obvious wishes. I heard him moving around the room, packing everything that was his. I curled up on the floor and waited for him to leave, so I could stop this idiocy and just deal with myself.

Then the footsteps came closer and closer to me. I held my breath, trying to guard myself. The sad part was that some part of me was hoping fervently that Henry would see me hurting, and apologize, and then I would apologize and everything would be okay. Except that he would be with Megan.

And he wasn't allowed to be friends with me, was he?

"Katie, open the door," Henry said through the wood. I shuddered against the temptation. Let him in. Let him make it okay again.

_I'm trying not to think about you_

_Can't you just __**let me be?**_

But then I heard Orla's advice. "The decision for you is whether he's worth it. If he's worth being second best."

I didn't have an answer yet. And so I didn't say anything, my heart breaking. If he wanted to, he knew how to pick a lock. If it meant enough to him.

"Fine," he said. "Have it your way."

I guess it didn't mean enough to him. He waited another minute, and then stomped out of the room. I was alone again. This time, though, I forced the hurt back. I made it take a place in line. I still had a life, didn't I? It still had meaning. Barely.

I unlocked the door and came out. The room was empty now. His suitcase was gone, his clothes, his toothbrush, his cologne. The room didn't seem like home anymore. Now it was just another hotel, another stop on the line.

I was going to have to deal with that, and I was going to have to do it on my own.

_So long, my luckless romance. _

_My back is turned on you._

I wandered around the room. Could he really have gotten everything? Every trace of him?

I didn't deceive myself. I was looking for some sign that he had slept in here, that things had been as good as I thought. That I wasn't exaggerating in my memory. There was nothing. He'd been thorough.

Then my heart leaped. On my dresser was a white envelope, and there was something inside it. The foolish hope surfaced in me again, no matter how harsh a beating it had taken in the last day and a half. He had left me something. He couldn't just walk away, either.

I reached for it, fingers trembling, and looked inside. My hope plummeted, hitting the rocks again. It was my room key, and that was all. He'd given up on coming back, then. This really was it?

I was a mess. This morning I had stood up for myself and made him choose. I'd told him he couldn't have me and Megan, and I had meant it at the time. Now I would give anything to take it all back and just be his friend again.

_Should've known you'd bring me heartache_

_Almost lovers always do._

Even if it smarted to watch him be with Megan, even if I was second best. Was I really that masochistic? Could I put myself through that, knowing that he'd chosen her? It was a matter of pride. Did I have too much, or too little?

I didn't know. And I might not ever know. I wasn't sure if there was any chance that I could ever be as close to Henry as I had been.

_I can't think of anyone I hate more._

A lie, but one he had thought was the truth.

And what about him? I thought angrily. He hadn't been exactly nice, either. 'He makes pretty eyes at you and you'll follow him anywhere he goes.' 'I know you and I know that you are _gullible_. Just because he seems to want you…' 'You couldn't be mature about it.'

And the worst:

_Did you expect me to just let all that history go because I met you? You, who I've known for… what… six months, max? _

Or maybe that wasn't the worst. Maybe that wasn't the end of the world. The worst was that he had promised her to stay away from me. He had cared that much about her, and that little about me.

I needed to stop thinking about this. I needed sleep. I was worn out from my lack of rest last night, and if I didn't stop now tonight would be the same. I changed into pajamas mechanically, brushed my teeth, and laid down, staring into the inky dark.

I don't know now, but somehow exhaustion overtook me and I fell asleep. I had the horrible nightmare again: the ruined, cold, black meadow. Every time I reached out for Henry, he vanished.

I woke up missing him, and wishing he was there to soothe the nightmare away like before. There were one big difference between the nightmares now, though. The nightmare was reality.

I shivered and checked the clock. I still had an hour before I had to get up, but I decided to go ahead and take a shower. Maybe it could wash away all the hurt.

_I cannot wake up in the morning_

_Without you on my mind_

I climbed into the shower and relaxed a little in the hot water. With the warmth running down my cold hands, it seemed that the cruel nightmare was just that: only a dream. I came back to reality with a sharp crash when I noticed that Henry had left something here, after all. It explained why he'd been knocking on the door.

He hadn't been wanting to talk to me. I'd forgotten to put his razor outside.

Disappointment crushed me and I picked up the razor, turning off the shower. I felt like throwing it away, but I knew that I should give it to him. Preferably in front of Megan, where I could say "You left this in my room."

No... that was spiteful. That wasn't me. I would just leave it in his duffel bag at the set today, and he would think he' d misplaced it. I felt a little creepy, though, because a part of me wanted to keep the razor forever as a keepsake.

That's either maudlin or just plain weird, depending on how you look at it.

_So now you're gone and I'm haunted_

_And I'll bet you are just fine._

Exiting the bathroom, I found out that Henry had left me one more surprise.

"Katie?" a familiar voice called. "Katie, are you awake yet?" Well, if I hadn't been, I would be now.

My mother was here.

"Mom?" I asked, panicked. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" I hurried to open the door, toweling my hair dry.

"Well, I didn't know I was coming until last night!" She chuckled, hauling her luggage in. And believe me, there was a _lot _of it. With a sick feeling, I noticed that she'd packed like she would for… an undetermined amount of time.

"Last night?" I asked, suspicious. Oh no he didn't.

"Of course," she said, puffing as she lifted one of her suitcases onto my bed. "You don't mind sleeping on the couch, do you? You have young bones."

"Um, no," I said by reflex, even though I was cringing at the thought of sleeping on _that_ couch. "But Mom, why are you here?"

She smiled affectionately. "That nice young man- Henry- called and said that some boy was pestering you, and you needed me to talk some sense into you. So naturally he booked me a flight right away. Isn't it lucky that there was one leaving last night! He's so sweet to look out for you like that."

"Sweet," I agreed. Henry was _dead. _As soon as I could ditch my mom, I was going to go murder him. Seriously, I love my mom, but this was underhanded. This was fighting dirty.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Mom said. "Give me a hug!"

I did, and then said: "Hey, Mom, I'm going to go get us breakfast while you start to unpack. Okay?" I smiled at her. "Room service."

And I was out of there and banging on Henry's door before she could say scrambled eggs.

He opened the door, fully dressed and ready to go. He looked just as cold as he had yesterday. "My razor. Thank you," he said crisply, and he reached out to take it. I fought the urge to hit him with it.

"You brought my _mom _into this?!" I exclaimed, ready to spit. "You couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?"

He shrugged, icy. "I don't trust him, and you aren't smart enough to deal with him."

"So just because you didn't get your way for once, you drag my mom thousands of miles to dictate my life for you? That's dirty." Even angry and hurt, I couldn't ignore the freshly-showered smell of him.

"Someone has to get through to you!" he snapped. "That guy is not good enough for you. He's jealous and possessive and he's going to _hurt you_, Katie."

I felt colder than a mega-freezer. "Not your problem now, is it?" He flinched, and I continued. "You have no right to talk to me about bad relationships, when your girlfriend is spiteful and petty and jealous and manipulative."

Henry shook his head. "You know what? I give up. Dig your hole, Katie, but don't expect me to pull you out of it."

It was like a (very violent) robot had taken control of me. "I never did. That was all your imagination." We glared at each other, and I finally smirked. "I guess I'd better leave before Megan finds you talking to me. She might think we're setting up a rendezvous. It's not like she trusts you very much."

"Don't criticize her," he growled at me. "Jealousy is not pretty on you."

I gave him my most angelic smile. "Why should I be jealous? She has _nothing _I want."

He didn't come after me, and I knew he wouldn't. Whatever this was, it was too wide a gulf now. Just like that.

_Did I make it that easy_

_To walk right in and out of my life?_

**AN: Please don't kill me. If it helps, I'm a believer in happy endings... Jeez, this was depressing to write. IMPORTANT: I ALREADY HAVE ALL THE PEOPLE I CAN USE, song wise. Sorry, try again next time!**

**--Silviael**


	26. All's Fair in Love and War

**AN: Hey, folks! This isn't really the best update. I meant to get a long, good one out, but the events I'd outlined took longer than I expected. This is about normal length, but not all the characters are in this chapter. Here's who is in it: (by the way, the song was Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy.)**

**ProudRedCurls: Penny **

**Writer in the Meadow: Heather **

**Life-filled-with-music: Trang **

**InkyJasper: Jessea **

**Speed-is-everything: Taylor**

**There's also a new, long-term character I'd like to introduce. Emma, based on my friend Annilaia. Yes, you get a character now. **

**Next chapter I'll have LP-togetherforever-, Eyes.To.The.Sun, tragixlove, she is brighter, SeeECrunVamp, xoxoBlackOwl, Kelgirl29, Auburn Alice, Kels1021, Simply-N-Sane, and RacheLuvMe. I already have characters for all of you, they just wouldn't fit into this chapter.**

**QOTC: I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.**

Chapter Twenty-Five: All's Fair in Love and War

It was going to be a rough day. As if being spitting mad at Henry wasn't enough, there was also my mother. And Jason- I still wasn't certain what to think about him. And Bob, and Simon, and all those people who viewed me as disposable.

Oh, Lord. My mother. That woman was going to be the death of me.

I left in a little bit of a hurry after getting breakfast, suggesting to Mom that she take a nap. She had promised to come over to the set after she caught up on her beauty sleep. I grinned to myself. My mom wouldn't make an appearance until two o'clock at the earliest.

My grin faded as I contemplated the fact that without Henry, I didn't have a ride to the set. Why, oh why, hadn't I gotten my (real) license yet?

I felt a burst of genuine relief when I saw Jason waiting for me in the lobby. "Hey," he said, smiling tentatively at me. "Figured you might need a ride again this morning."

I smiled back at him. "You're saving my life, Jason. Really."

He shook his head in sympathy. "You two are still fighting? I thought it would all be over by now."

A little of my early-morning fury came back to me, and I grimaced. "Just wait until we get in the car and I'll tell you all about it. There've been a few developments."

Just then my mother came stumbling after me, her eyes squinting- she'd already taken her glasses off, and had her nightgown on for her nap. "Katie? You didn't give me the room key. You forgot," she reminded me. Her eyes swiveled to observe the boy standing next to me. "Who's this? Is this Jason?"

Jason stared at me, eyes wide. "Is this one of your developments?"

I nodded with a wince. "Jason, this is my mom. Mom, this is Jason." Too late, I remembered that I shouldn't introduce my mom to Jason. Because of evil, fun-sucking, domineering _Henry. _Oops.

"I've heard things about you," my mother said reproachfully. "You should not try to take advantage of my daughter. Henry said you were… what's the term… hitting on her again"-

I interrupted hastily. "Mom, go on back to the room, okay? Here's the room key." I pulled out my key and handed it to her. Somehow I couldn't give her the one Henry had left behind. I wanted to keep it with me. "Have a nice nap."

I grabbed Jason's arm and forcefully led him away from my mother, who merely blinked at me and frowned.

"Sorry about that," I muttered, and I knew my face was beet red. "Henry brought her to Forks last night."

We climbed into Jason's car, and he glanced at me, a peculiar expression his face. "Because Henry doesn't trust my intentions," he surmised. I nodded, lips tight. "Well, thanks for defending me, then." I nodded again, looked out the window, and didn't say anything. I still wasn't sure how much I trusted him, anyway. Enough that I'd get in a car alone with him, but maybe not as much as he was implying.

We passed most of the drive in silence, and he finally said, "We've got a lot of catching up to do today. Especially in math."

I groaned loudly. "That's the only subject we've actually done."

He grinned at me. "That's because you're sort of bad at it, Katie. No offense."

I tried to keep scowling, but I couldn't. A smile forced its way onto my face as we parked and climbed out. The smile froze when I saw Simon waiting on me at the doorway. There went any happiness I might have had today.

"Good morning, sunshine," I said, with only a _hint _of sarcasm, as Jason waved to me and edged past Simon into the school.

"You're late," Simon said brusquely. "Per usual."

Okay, I was not late. Shooting didn't start for another hour and a half- it was only, what, six? "Am not," I said, just as terse.

"Are too," he said. "If you're determined to be childish. Your interview with _Seventeen_ was supposed to begin eighteen minutes ago."

I felt like I'd just gotten a bucket of ice-cold water thrown over me. "Sorry, you must be thinking about someone else, because that was _completely_ not mentioned to me."

"It's on your PDA," Simon said. My jaw must've dropped a little bit, because he rolled his eyes. "You have been checking your PDA, haven't you? The one that Pam, your babysitter, very kindly put your schedule on?"

My ears grew hot. No, I hadn't gotten into the habit of checking the complicated piece of technology. Henry had always taken care of that stuff for me… but Henry wasn't here anymore.

"Sorry," I said, embarrassed that this was really my fault. "I forgot to look at my schedule. It won't happen again." I took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders. "Where am I supposed to be?"

He sighed, but seemed a little mollified. "Come on." He led me to an empty classroom that had been set with a backdrop, lights, and a clothes rack. Three people were waiting for me there.

"I'm sorry, I'm running late this morning," I apologized quickly, and one of the women- holding a notepad and silver recorder- nodded to me.

"No problem, it happens all the time," she said. I wondered if she was telling the truth. She walked over to me and held out her hand. "Heather Meadows, journalist for _Seventeen._"

I shook her hand, and the other two women came to stand next to her. I noticed, to my aggravation, that Simon was still in the room. I'd have to do something about that, but for now I just smiled and let the women introduce themselves.

"I'm Penny Redhart," the taller woman said. She had an expensive-looking camera in her hands.

I introduced myself to her and then looked at the last woman. She smiled at me. "Emma Leigh," she said. "I'm your new wardrobe stylist. I figured the photo shoot today would be a good place to begin."

Well, my day just got better! No more Carmen! "What happened to Carmen?" I asked Simon. "Not that I mind, of course," I said politely to Emma.

Simon grinned. I prepared for an insult- I mean, he only looked that happy when he was about to cut me down. "She got fed up with you and quit," he said. "I guess no amount of money was worth working with you."

Okay, that hurt a little bit. Not that I'd liked Carmen, but still, she was making me look bad here. It wasn't like I had done anything to provoke her- except maybe eat a few more Cheetos than I should have. A lot more Cheetos, actually, but you get the point.

"All right, Simon, you can go now," I said firmly, sending a good glare in his direction. "I'll come get ready to shoot once I'm done here." He just raised an eyebrow at me. "I can find my own way back to the cafeteria."

"I'm here for moral support," he said, and I groaned mentally. This was going to be a long morning.

Emma had picked out clothes that I would actually wear, which surprised me. There were no four-inch heels, no alligator-skin miniskirts… just normal stuff with designer origins. And here was a first: I got excited when she told me I could keep everything. Because let me tell you, the silver metallic Dolce & Gabbana bag was calling my name. Loudly.

I freaked myself out a little bit, though. Since when did I know or care who designers were? Since when did I want a thousand-dollar purse?

Oh, well. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?

The interview wasn't bad at all- seventeen questions about me and about Twilight. I tried to not think about my answers too much before I gave them. I was hired to be Bella, not to be super-perfect Katie. Right?

And the photo shoot was actually kind of fun, once I got into it. After it was finished, the realization truly hit me for the first time that morning: I was going to be on the cover of _Seventeen. _

A little shiver raced down my spine. So this was what my life was like now. It was a little weird, and a lot intimidating, but… I thought I might like it, once I got used to it.

Simon had waited the entire time, observing me and taking notes. Ignoring him wasn't as easy as I'd thought it would be. Even though Simon was a butt most of the time, and he was the reason I originally didn't get Bella, I respected him, in a backwards sort of way.

Everyone else here had just accepted me as I was. Simon wanted me to be better. In that same backwards way, I wanted to prove myself to him. It felt like he'd issued a challenge.

You know I'm a sucker for challenges, even if I usually end up falling flat on my face. So as I shook hands with Penny and Heather, and said a temporary goodbye to Emma, I wondered how I had measured up.

Simon walked back to the cafeteria with me in comfortable silence. As we reached the entrance, he cleared his throat. "Good job." He nodded to me and went his own way.

I felt this burst of warmth somewhere inside me. It had been terse, but it was a compliment. I'd done okay today, then.

In the whirlwind of this morning's events, I'd somehow managed to forget about Henry. And Megan. Henry with Megan. Etc.

I was in for a rude awakening.

Henry was to my right as I came in, and I hastily put up my guard, preparing to walk to Orla and get ready for shooting. There was nothing to say to him, was there? I wasn't the one who needed to apologize, and if I even spoke to him I knew I'd either break down or start another argument. Best to just keep going…

But Megan had other plans.

"Katie!" She exclaimed, rushing over and looping her arm through mine, like we were best friends. "It's been a while! How are you?"

I wanted to jerk my arm out of hers, maybe give her a good push while I was at it. According to her, Henry wasn't _allowed_ to be around me anymore. But that would show her how much she'd affected me. Plastering a smile on my face, I responded, "Megan, I've never been better. You?"

Her big brown eyes narrowed slightly, as though she was angry at me for being civil. Her grip on my arm tightened. "I'm perfect." _Yeah, right. _"Have you met my agent, Trang Lima?"

I smiled and nodded at Trang, just as diplomatic and friendly as could be. "Nice to meet you."

Then Megan's smile really did turn evil. "Henry was just talking about you, honey."

I froze, refusing to look at Henry. "Really."

"Mm-hm." She didn't say anything else about it, but seemed to make up her mind on something. "Katie, honey, can I talk to you for a second?"

I shrugged. "Be my guest." I maintained my friendly expression, and it gave me a feeling of victory when I saw out of the corner of my eye that Henry was staring at me.

"Well, I meant out in the hallway," Megan snapped, and then her smile came back on. "If you have time."

It was probably best to get this over with while I was still in control of myself. "Lead the way."

Henry called after us. "Should I come, Megan?" It was the first thing he'd said, and I noticed that he made it very clear who he talking to.

"No, hon," she said over her shoulder, still grasping my arm with her manicured nails. "It's girl stuff."

Oh, wonderful. Somehow I didn't think Megan's idea of 'girl stuff' was asking me what color fingernail polish she should wear on her trip to Hades.

We stopped out in the hallway, which was deserted, and Megan tried to shut the doors, releasing me. I reached out and pushed them open again. "We're not supposed to shut these," I said, making it up. I had no idea if they were allowed to be shut or not, but I wouldn't put it past Megan to have a bunch of thugs hidden somewhere to beat me up.

Okay, that would be a little extreme even for her, but I'm paranoid and proud of it. Distantly, I wondered if Henry was watching us. He probably was, to make sure I wasn't going to murder Megan out of _jealousy_. Which was ridiculous. Megan had nothing I wanted.

With that in mind, I kept my smile and said as nicely as I could, "Get it over with, Megan, so I can go get ready to shoot."

She wasted no time. "Stay away from Henry."

I raised my eyebrows. "I don't think that's really a problem, thanks to you."

She frowned and crossed her arms. "I didn't think so, either, until he started talking about you. And he _pities_ you so much that it's sad, Katie. You've been taking advantage of that for far too long, and in order to protect him, I'm stepping in. Stay away from Henry, or you'll have me to deal with."

I dropped my diplomacy like a hat. "Henry was my friend because he wanted to be. He was nothing more than my friend and you are just a jealous idiot for messing that up." We glared at each other for one long moment, and then I added, "I don't care what you think about me. Personally, I think you can go to hell. But I do care what you think about Henry, and if you don't trust him enough to know that he was telling the truth about him and me, then I'm not going to just let it go."

Fury was etched into her beautiful face. "You expect me to believe there was nothing, you little slut? You think I don't know that you slept in his room in Los Angeles, or that he slept in yours here?" I must've shown some of my shock, because she continued, "You think I don't know about that? I know everything. I know what you are."

Neither of us noticed that Henry, looking worried, was walking toward us.

"You don't know anything," I said angrily. "You don't know me."

"Slut," she spat, and I recoiled. "Find someone else to use. Henry is mine and he always will be. Are we clear?"

My words caught in my throat, I couldn't answer her- but I didn't have to.

"Megan?" Henry said, taking her hand. "Is everything okay?"

"Perfect," she said firmly. "Henry, please, this is between me and Katie."

Henry turned to me, cold. "Is everything resolved?"

I would've thought that his indifference would hurt me, but it really just made me stronger. "Everything is over, yes," I agreed, and I could tell from the spark of uncertainty in his eyes that he understood the difference.

I smiled at Megan. "Glad we cleared that up," I said. I was about to leave gracefully, but then I couldn't resist. "Oh, and Henry? Good luck. You're going to need it."

It may not have been the high road, but wow, it felt good to say that. To be spiteful, to be petty. I'd had enough of being the mature one for one morning. Henry had come over to protect _Megan_ from _me_? There was something very screwed up with that logic.

With a frown, I looked around the cafeteria for the first time. I had noticed before that the techies were working hard at something- I'd assumed they were setting up. Now I realized that they were striking the set down. The equipment, at least.

I saw Simon waiting off to one side and reluctantly went over to him. What was he doing here, anyway? Weren't casting directors supposed to, you know, cast and then move on? "What's everyone doing?" I asked him. "Aren't we shooting the second lunchroom scene today?"

"Change of plans," he said. "You're doing Biology."

My mouth gaped open. "I'm sorry, _what_? I haven't practiced Biology yet."

"Do you know the lines?" he asked, giving me an analyzing look.

I bristled. "Of course." I knew the whole script.

"Then you can do it," he said, shrugging. "Deal with it, Katie. That's the way it goes."

"I'm not upset, exactly," I said. "But I don't understand why it's changing. Wasn't everything ready for the cafeteria scene?"

He sighed heavily. "Yes." When he saw I was about to ask another question, he gave in. "Fine, if you must know. Bob noticed you and Henry were fighting and decided that since the Biology set was already up and running, he'd get started on those scenes. You know, capitalize on the moment. All the antagonism might be gone by tomorrow."

Thanks, Bob. "That's ridiculous," I said. "We're actors, right? We're supposed to fake it."

Simon shrugged again. "Apparently, he likes the angry chemistry right now, and he's worried you can't reproduce it," he said. "Now get out of my hair, kid, I've got a phone conference in about thirty seconds."

I pulled out my PDA, thanking the dear Lord that I'd brought it with me this morning after all. The script was on it, and I needed to run over my new lines. As I left Simon, he called after me.

"Katie." I turned around. "Break a leg."

I grinned, gave him a thumbs up, and just stared at the PDA for a while. I'd managed to turn it on after considerable trial and error, but finding the right file was way harder than it sounded. I was relieved to see Jason coming toward me. "Did you hear that they changed the scene?" he asked, looking worried for me.

"Yeah, I just found out," I said, rolling my eyes for his benefit. "Something about capitalizing on the pent-up anger between Bella and Edward. Whatever." I used the little pen-thing to poke something on the screen and scowled. "Jason? Do you know how to work a PDA?"

"Sure," he replied, and stepped closer to me to look over my shoulder. "What are you trying to do?"

He was close enough that I could feel the warmth coming from him, and a little shiver raced through me. He smelled _good_. Maybe not quite as good as… someone else… but way better than your average Joe.

"I'm trying to find the script so I can look over my lines," I explained. "Pam opened it for me once before, but I forgot how."

Jason took control of my hand lightly, guiding it. "That's easy once you get the hang of it," he said. "Go here, click here, and choose it from the list." As he'd shown me, he'd taken on his "teacher" voice. It was sort of adorable.

"Thanks," I said, smiling up at him. "You're a lifesaver." I looked at the list now and dutifully noted where I could find my schedule from now on. I would check it later. I tapped the pen-thing on the file that said "script.doc" and voila! Open sesame.

Jason had just left to finish setting up his tutoring table when an all-too-familiar face appeared next to me. "I got an emergency call," Brooklyn said. "Let me guess. The morons are changing scenes right before you shoot?"

"Pretty much," I said agreeably, going over the lines in my head.

She set down her bag and pulled out her own dog-eared copy of the script. "All right, let's save their hairy behinds, then."

It was more like she was saving my hairy behind, but I didn't mention it, and neither did she. Not that my behind is hairy. At least, I don't think it is… okay. That's just weird to think about. Sorry, moving on.

Finally, I'd gotten good enough that she decided I needed one more way to practice. "Henry!" she yelled.

I winced and whispered "That's not necessary, Brook!", but Henry was already walking toward us. He ignored me and looked at my coach.

"May I help you?"

"It won't kill you to practice lines with Katie," she said . "One, two, three, go."

Bob saw what we were doing and rushed toward us- with three walkie-talkies, an ear cell phone, and two regular cell phones, plus a pager or two, currently in use. "No, Brooklyn, no! No practicing together for this one."

Henry and I stopped talking to each other happily, and Brooklyn looked at Bob in confusion. "Um, why?"

"They're mad at each other. I'm trying to make sure they stay mad until we shoot," he explained in a stage whisper. Like we couldn't hear him.

I sighed and told Bob, "Bob, don't worry about it. I'm still angry, and I'm pretty dang sure I'll be angry before, during, and after shooting, no matter how much I talk to him. Okay?"

Henry couldn't let that go. "Just what I was going to say," he said, and my eyes narrowed.

"Good, good," Bob muttered, and then switched one of his cell phones back on. "All right, Chris, sorry about that… what were you saying?"

Brooklyn was left staring at us. "Did I miss something?"

It seemed like a lot of people had been asking me that question recently. "Nothing important," I said firmly. "I'm good on my lines. Thanks, Brooklyn." I left to go look at the Biology set. I needed to get away from Henry and get my mind on the scenes.

I got there and saw a girl who looked suspiciously like me listening to something Bob was saying to her. I walked up to him and realized that this must be my double. I'd never met her, but somewhere in the back of my mind it had registered that I must have one.

Bob saw me standing there and pointed to the girl. "Your double, Jessea." I smiled at her. "Jess, can you explain the scene to Katie? This stupid company is messing up the prom scene… No. No, I want blue. Not cerulean, not aquamarine, blue. I don't care if those are blue! Just plain old _blue _is all I need…"

He walked away, jabbing his finger in the air to make a point, and Jessea walked me through the scene. I would come in and I would turn to see Edward glaring at me right _here_. I'd trip on the corner of a desk _here_, and an extra would snicker at me. I'd go to Mr. Banner, who would be standing _there_, and introduce myself, get a textbook, and walk back to sit with Edward.

It was a short, simple scene, for which I was glad. The next ones would be harder, and this was going to be a long day. We were going to try three scenes: the first one, the one where Edward first talks to Bella, and the day Edward skips class because of blood testing.

I had just settled down to wait for everyone to get their act together- and mentally review my part in the scene- when Henry walked in, looking murderous. What else was new these days?

To my surprise, though, his anger wasn't directed toward me. A newspaper crushed in his hand, he stomped over to… Orla? What was he doing, picking on Orla?

Temper rising, I stood and made my way over there. "… betray her. This is something only someone close to her would know."

_Someone close to who? _I wondered. "Leave Orla alone, Henry," I snapped. He turned to me with fire in his eyes.

"Have you seen this?" he demanded, practically throwing the newspaper at me. I caught it automatically, my heart sinking. Whatever was on that page must be bad.

It was one of the pictures of me and Henry that had been taken yesterday, when the reporter and photographer had come after shooting. That didn't disturb me. Neither did the headline- it was just "Forks welcomes movie cast."

"I don't get it," I said stiffly. "I mean, yeah, it isn't the best picture of you ever, but it isn't _that _bad."

Henry let out an indignant huff. "I liked that picture." I just shrugged, and he muttered, "Beside the point. Read it."

I glanced at Orla, who was pale, and reluctantly skimmed the page. It was hard to see what Henry was so spitting angry about. Then I let out a little "oh" and reread three of the final paragraphs.

_A source close to Miller has confirmed what the rest of the cast and crew suspects: something is going on between Cavill and Miller. Could they be getting their roles mixed up with real life? Whatever the case, an informant tells this reporter that Cavill and Miller often spend the night in each others' rooms, and are noticeably close in public, if not romantically affectionate. "Katie is definitely in love with Henry," the source says. "But I don't know how Henry feels about her. We'll just have to wait and see."_

_Forks High School student body president Taylor Ames reports that when she and another student took the two to view a set in the woods, they left them alone, and when she and the other girl came back, the pair appeared to have "made the most of the time alone." _

_"It looked pretty bad," she admits. "It was kind of romantic, though."_

_Miller is 17, Cavill 21. Since being cast as Bella Swan, Miller has dated her tutor, Jason van der Graff, off and on. My informant says that she's using van der Graff as a way to cover up her affair with Cavill, but this is only a rumor. This reporter will keep you posted on the stars of Forks._

My face was stark white by the time I finished the article. Tight-lipped, I handed it back to Henry and said simply, "It wasn't Orla," before walking away. This was all I needed right now. Another complication.

My thoughts first went to Megan. Would she have done this? I didn't think so. It didn't seem like the way she would have worded it. She would've been meaner.

Who, then? I know Orla wouldn't have said anything. I trusted her more than anyone on the set. But really, it could have been anybody in the same hotel as us. Cast, crew, other hotel guests. One thing did bother me, though: the article had said that a source close to me had given the gossip.

Crap. Not only did this mean one of my friends was a traitor, but my mom was going to murder me when I got back to the hotel. No doubt she'd have read it.

Crap.

False friends, catfights, and accusations. I felt like this was a sign, saying: _Welcome to your new life, Katie._

I wasn't sure if a million free Dolce & Gabbana purses were worth it.

**AN: I'm heading off to writing school for three weeks, and I'll be sure to update as soon as I get back... but leave me messages to remind me. Kay? -smile- Hopefully this will make me a better writer. Thanks for reading, hope it was okay, and the rest of the chars will be in the next chapter!**

**Love,**

**The Girl Who Loves Henry Cavill With A Passion (and hopes he never by chance reads this story... wow. Embarrassing!)**


	27. don't kill me! author update

Hey, everyone. First off: whoa. Three weeks? Try two months, huh? -wince- Remember, if you kill me, you never find out what happens anyway. My insurance, haha.

Well, when I said I'd update when I got home, guess what? I AM. Lol. I was going to settle in and write a nice, long, relaxing update back in July, but my family had other ideas. Vacation. Huh. Never heard of it before. I unpacked, repacked, and went to Canada, then Florida, and to top it off my parents decided we hadn't seen the relatives in Texas for a while.

Not that I don't love my family… but whew. A month spent mostly in hotel rooms with them gets old.

Anyway, I'm mapping out the next chapter as we speak, including the people from the last songfic challenge. I wanted to let you know what's what, because before I really sit down and write I need to finish my summer reading assignment. Including the six-page report on Orwellian society. Yikes. I **think** the chapter will be up by Monday evening.

Again, sorry for the wait, be up soon, thanks for being (sort of, haha) patient with me and my aggravating update lapse. Not like I haven't done it before, but still. Ladidah.

To hold you until I get it up… here's a teaser. I had written this for last chapter, but decided the time wasn't right. This is probably _**NOT FROM **_the next chapter, but some form of it will show up eventually. I just have to decide how long to stretch the angst. MWAHA. -chokes on evil laughter, has coughing spasm-

**I brushed past him and walked unsteadily toward Orla's spot of the cafeteria. Henry had looked so apologetic, so caring. Longingly, I realized that this was another turning point. Could I just let things go back to how they used to be?**

**Could I be second best? I still didn't know, but I needed to figure it out. Soon.**

**"Orla?" I said, entering the cubicle. She turned around, smiling, and then the smile shifted into panic.**

**"No crying!" she yelped, running across the little space and shaking me firmly. "Talk all you want, but no crying. Please."**

**I concentrated on the ceiling until I was sure I was in control, and then said, "Rolly chair." She pushed it to my side and I sat down, giving it a twirl. I felt better instantly. She sat down next to me, still on tear alert. "I think Henry and Megan just broke up."**


	28. Rumors

**ARGH. This chapter is NOT cooperating. I've hit backspace so many times, it's not even funny anymore. ARGH. As promised it's an update on Monday, but I apologize in advance if it's bad.**

**Not much else to say, except hello again and here are the people in the chapter. SeeECrunVamp and Simply-N-Sane will be in the next chapter.**

**She is brighter- Amy**

**RacheLuvMe- Rachel**

**XoxoBlackOwl- Jennifer**

**Kelgirl29- Kelly**

**Kels1021- Kelsey**

**Auburn Alice Aliza**

**Tragixlove- Hanna**

**Eyes.To.The.Sun- Sara**

**LP-together forever- Becca **

**QOTC: It's not a silly little moment, it's not the storm before the calm. Nobody's going to come and save you. We've pulled too many false alarms.**

Chapter Twenty-Six: Rumors

"You got it," Jason said in relief, leaning back in his chair. "Katie, you've got it. " He grinned at me, and I unwittingly smiled back.

"Yeah, and it only took… I don't know. Ten, eleven tries," I teased, wincing.

He reached over and patted my hand. "Getting better," he consoled me. "Getting better all the time. And I have some good news for you." He didn't let go of my hand, and my mind froze. If I pulled away, would that hurt his feelings? Reluctantly, I kept my hand under his. I admitted to myself that the warmth felt nice.

"We can actually do something besides math," Jason said, still grinning. "What will it be? Do you actually miss any subjects?"

I chewed my bottom lip, my nerves frayed. "Um… history," I said. "I like history. Can we do that?"

"History it is," he agreed, swapping out the textbooks. I glanced around at the set for the first time in a while. I'd been so immersed in our little corner that I'd forgotten all the activity around me. A techie in black gave Bob a thumbs-up and a nod, then walked out the door to do something else.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Henry and Megan. My stomach clenched. I turned away. Unfortunately, I'd be seeing more of Megan: Simon and Pam cast her as the waitress in the Port Angeles restaurant scene.

Bob suddenly called, "Henry, Katie, c'mere!"

Jason squeezed my hand, and then let go. "Break a leg." I smiled at him distantly, my eyes already meeting Henry's. I looked away from both of them and focused only on the floor in front of me. I stopped in front of Bob, still not looking up.

"Are we starting?" I asked quietly, all too aware of Henry close beside me. I stood rigidly, afraid to move, for fear that I'd touch him by accident.

"Yeah," Bob said, adjusting his reading glasses. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," Henry and I said simultaneously. The first scene wasn't difficult.

"Ready in five, then," Bob said. "Get some touch-ups and come back."

Henry and I walked in uneasy silence to the cafeteria. He finally cleared his throat. "If it wasn't Orla who ratted you out, then who was it?" he muttered.

I sighed, pressing my fingers against my temples. "Henry, I don't know. And I don't honestly care. It's not a big deal."

"But…" he started, his face becoming animated with fury again.

"It doesn't matter." I tried not to look at him. "Not right now. Don't overreact."

"I'm not overreacting!" he yelled, and I just raised my eyebrows. "Sorry," he said quietly, and hesitated. "Er… I kind of hate to bring this up again… but could it have been Jason?"

"It could have been," I said noncommittally. I ignored the surprised look on his face. "Or Megan. Like I said- don't know, don't care."

His eyes narrowed. "It was not Megan."

"Whatever." Without another word, I stalked off towards Orla. Now I was even more confused than before. Henry was, apparently, speaking to me again- within limits. What did that mean?

I wasn't sure, and now wasn't the time to try to figure it out.

When I walked back into the Biology classroom, everything was ready to go. Sound and lighting checked out; all the extras were briefed and ready. I was introduced to Amy, the girl whose desk I would trip on.

She smiled at me, a little shyly. "Sorry, in advance, for laughing at you," she said.

I smiled back. "No problem. Happens all the time in real life."

I spoke to Bob one final time, then exited the classroom with the actress playing Angela- a girl a few years older than me named Rachel. We chatted off and on while we waited for the call to start. The set's constant buzzing faded to a dull hum as the lights turned on, full-blast, and everyone quieted for the scene.

Bob gave the signal, and the extras began to act like high school students: some chatted animatedly with one another, while others cracked their books open to finish their homework at the last minute. Rachel entered first, and when I followed, most of the eyes in the room gave me a quick once-over. I nearly tripped all on my own, just from being self-conscious.

I saw the actor playing Mr. Banner at the front of the room and walked in his direction. As I passed Henry's desk, he snapped to attention. As I looked at him, his eyes met mine, and he had the strangest expression on his face- hostile, furious. The intensity of it shocked me. It looked all too real.

I tore my eyes away, my face red, and stumbled over a book that cluttered the pathway. Amy giggled as I lurched against her desk, and I flushed even more.

I took my Biology textbook from Mr. Banner and he pointed to the one open seat in the classroom. I kept my eyes down, setting my things on my half of the table and pulling out the chair. Out of the corner of my eye, Edward shifted postures. He leaned away from me with his nose scrunched, as though I smelled bad. Insulted, I sniffed my hair and then let it shield my face from him. I peeked through it one more time, and he was still on the extreme edge of the desk. He glared at me, his eyes coal black. The scene cut, but we didn't move: we still needed a shot of Edward's leaving the classroom.

Bob gave the signal again, and Edward was up and out of the room faster than I believed a human could move. I gathered all my things, trying not to show any emotion. "Aren't you Isabella Swan?" Mike asked me.

After a brief conversation, I headed out of the class with him, and Bob yelled, "Cut!" I came back to Earth with a jolt. I let my face and body relax, rolling my shoulders. Edward was Henry again.

"Good first take, kids," Bob said. "Let's do it one more time. Katie, look a little more scared. You got the confused thing down real well, though. Henry, make it a little more dignified- you look constipated."

I couldn't bite back a chuckle. Ha! Perfect Henry wasn't perfect after all!

The scene required another three takes, but it wasn't too strenuous. Next was the scene where Edward first speaks to Bella, after he ran away to Denali.

I revisited the wardrobe department and changed clothes. Orla shifted my hair to look different, and touched up the makeup again. "Good to go," she said finally. I stood to leave, and she added, "By the way, what's going on with you and Jason? It's the talk of the crew."

I knew I was blushing. "I'm not sure yet," I hedged. "You'll be the first to know, though. Promise."

She nodded. "All right." She bit her lip. "Katie… about that article this morning. You know I would never do that."

I frowned. "I know it wasn't you. Don't worry about it."

The article was on my mind, though, as I shuffled back on set, my hands in my pockets. I really wasn't all that concerned about it, that much was true, but I knew my mom wouldn't be as indifferent this afternoon.

My _mom_. Oh, Henry was dead to me.

I jumped as I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Hey," Jason said amiably. He reached out and tapped Bob as the director passed. "Bob, do we have time to do some schoolwork before the next scene?"

"Jennifer, I know, I _know_. I'll call them once we're finished today. It's one of those days, baby. Hold on a second." Bob checked his watch and shook his head. "Sorry, kids, we're due to start in a few minutes. Probably better wait for the next scene change." He gestured to the phone at his ear. "My wife, Jennifer. No, baby, we'd better save Tahiti for this winter…"

I turned to face Jason, shaking off his hand in the process. "I guess we've got a long day ahead of us," I said with a sigh. It was already almost one in the afternoon, and we still had this scene and one more short one to try and get done.

He smiled wryly. "I guess so."

I looked at him for one long moment, and he looked back, and I wondered if he really had informed on me to the press. It was possible. Right then, I didn't mind.

I walked away. That was something that I was getting good at. Walking away from things I couldn't deal with.

Like the beautiful young man sitting by himself in the corner of the room, reading over his script.

I swallowed hard and went to talk to some of the extras. I met Kelly, who was playing Mike's lab partner, and Kelsey, who was Angela's. I felt Henry standing behind me before he spoke, and my breath hitched.

"Katie?" he said softly. My face impassive, I turned around. His face was equally indifferent. My heart squeezed a little at that. "Bob's asking us to run lines once or twice while we wait. There are some technical difficulties."

I looked at his ear. If I met his eyes I wouldn't be able to keep up my hard façade. "Okay, sure. Where do you want to do it?"

He shrugged. "Here is good." I bit back a surge of irrational disappointment. Deep down, I'd been hoping he would suggest somewhere less… crowded. But really, I knew that he would want to stay here, ready whenever the techies were. It's just the way he was.

Plus, being alone would be awkward. I knew that for a fact. Why, then, was I longing for it so desperately?

With a sudden, horrific insight, I realized that I hadn't managed to shut it away. The hope, I mean. I thought I'd buried it in some dark place inside me, but every time he spoke to me, the knot loosened and drifted its way up.

I was forgiving him, without ever making the conscious decision to do so. I couldn't stay angry with him. I couldn't hold my grudge. I was disappointed in myself.

I worked hard not to let my thoughts show on my face as we spoke to the air in between us, never directly speaking to each other. It was a practice in memory, not in acting- it was cold.

"Five minutes!" A producer called to us, holding up five fingers. We nodded to him and, by tacit agreement, fell into silence.

Again, he broke it. "What did she say?"

Although I had a pretty good idea what he was asking, I pretended I didn't. "Who?"

"You know who," he snapped. "Megan. Why did she want to talk to you this morning?"

I remained silent for a charged second, then shook my head. "I'd rather not, Henry."

"Why?" he demanded.

I shut my eyes, took a deep breath, and leaned against the wall. This conversation would only make things worse. Resigned, I answered him. "Two reasons. One, I don't think you'll believe me. You'll take her side." He started to say something, but I didn't let him. "Two, and most importantly, I don't _want _to talk about it. Not before we film. It will distract me. I need to do my job first."

I met his eyes for the first time since this morning. I saw his hands clench out of my peripheral vision. He wasn't oblivious to the tension. "I can respect that," he said quietly. "But I think my answer to number one might surprise you."

If I would let it, that would rattle me. I didn't let it. "I've had enough surprises for one week," I said, and I went to say hello to Simon.

We got through that scene pretty well. For some reason, talking to Henry had made the acting a little easier. It wasn't as difficult to put myself in Bella's shoes. It was as though as soon as I'd decided that my job was more important than my personal life, it became that way in reality.

I didn't know if that was mental or physical, but it was a good thing. After that scene, Henry was off for the day. I worked my shoulders. The extra tension of the drama in my life was exhausting. I shrugged it off and went back to hair and makeup for the last time that day.

Orla and I always chatted while she worked her miracles on me. Not then. She seemed to sense my mood. I was busy thinking… about Jason, about Henry, and about me.

It was early evening. Aliza, a barista from the new Starbucks in town, brought the cast and crew coffee as we tightened our belts for the home stretch. The caffeine and sugar from my Frappuccino woke me up and gave me my energy back.

If we could get this final scene finished, we'd have the majority of the classroom scenes completed.

I walked into the set, and Jessea- my double- briefed me on the scene. It was blood typing, the day Edward skips class. An extra named Hanna would help Mr. Banner pass out the supplies. After he stuck a student's finger, I'd get nauseous, and Mike would help me out of the classroom.

I did some history with Jason while the techies reset the scene. Jason was getting tired, too, but we went on with the lessons. The more we got done now, the less time we'd have to spend after shooting was over, making up the requisite hours.

Finally, the call came, and I went to sit in my seat. The chair next to me was empty. Hanna came around, passing out supplies.

I got through the scene, and Bob gave the order to pack up for the night, just before the coffee wore off and I crashed. I blinked rapidly during Jason's Biology lesson and fought my eyelids. Night had fallen, and I'd been working all day. Luckily, tomorrow had a relatively easy load.

Everything now was gearing towards the meadow scene in three days. I felt a lump in my throat. The meadow where Henry and I had…

That scene was going to be difficult.

As I drifted out of Forks High School, with Jason promising to follow me in a minute, a young woman ran to catch up with me. "Katie," she called. "I've been meaning to talk to you." I paused, using the last of my adrenaline to perk myself up. She held out her hand to me. "I'm Sara Isun. I've just been pulled in as a publicist."

I smiled. "Nice to meet you," I said. "So we'll be working together?"

She nodded, and with trepidation I noticed the clipboard balanced on her arm. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. We need to set up a date for a publicity photo shoot… for posters and ads, and fan sites. Time to start getting the word out… or, more accurately, the pictures." She laughed at her joke.

I nodded. "Have you spoken to Henry yet?"

"No," she said. "Like I said, I just arrived. Do you think you could talk to him, and come up with a time that would work in your schedules?" I nodded, and she handed me her business card. "Just give me a call."

She went back to the set, brushing Jason on her way past. "Hey, are you all ready?" Jason asked, jingling his keys. When I shook my head yes, he frowned in concern. "You look beat." He put his arm around my shoulders, and I let him. It felt kind of nice.

"Let's go," I said tiredly, and we made our way out like that.

**Two hours earlier, at the hotel**

Henry tapped his pen against the desk. "Yes, I'd like to speak to your editor, please," he said, his tone clipped. He waited while the operator connected him.

"Becca Moore speaking," said a woman's voice. He stopped tapping the pen.

"Hello, Ms. Moore." He leaned back in his chair. "My name is Henry Cavill." The editor's breath drew in sharply. "I'm playing Edward Cullen in the Twilight movie. Your newspaper ran an article about the actors involved in the movie, correct?"

"Correct," she said, her tone growing cautious.

"I would like to warn you," he said calmly, "that I don't take kindly to your article printing rumors about my and Ms. Miller's relationship. Especially since they happen to be false."

The editor laughed. "My job isn't to tell the truth," she said. "I'm in the business of rumors."

"Yes," Henry agreed. "And if any more about Ms. Miller find their way into print on your publication, you'll regret it."

There a moment of silence. "I can't control that, Mr. Cavill. I'm sorry."

"Actually, you can," he said. "Say whatever you want about whomever you want, but leave Katie Miller alone." He hung up. He didn't know if his call would help any. It would probably only intensify the rumors. He had to try.

Katie wasn't ready to deal with the wolves, and she wouldn't let him help her.

_Right now, I can't think of anyone I hate more._

Henry balled up the newspaper article and threw it in the trash can, his conscience at rest.


	29. Building Bridges

AN: I don't know if anyone will care that I'm updating this after almost two years. If you do, then I apologize for my disappearance. (If it helps, I've had some seriously bad guilt trips!)After watching the last three Twilight movies, rereading my fanfiction makes me realize how unrealistic some of my writing about the filming and casting process is, but please forgive that in the interests of storytelling! Thanks for reading.

QOTC: The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Building Bridges

Jason parked in the hotel lot. It was dark outside, but for once it wasn't raining. We had exchanged small talk on the way back; somehow, he understood that I wasn't in the mood to talk about my problems anymore. In fact, I was trying very hard not to think at all. If I didn't dissuade Jason, he was going to become more persistent, and I wasn't sure I wanted that experience again- but it just felt so nice to have someone be there for me, in the sudden absence of my best friend.

He was a good-looking guy. Smart, and with the exception of our one date, he had always been nice.

But he didn't make me feel the way Henry did. I was afraid, deep down, that no one ever would.

_The way Henry __used__ to make me feel_, I reminded myself sternly. No more agonizing. No more self-pity or longing for dreams that wouldn't come true. I was going to move forward and grow out of this… obsession. If Jason was a part of my healing, then so much the better.

I didn't look at him as I climbed out of his car. He met me to walk inside the hotel, stepping close enough that if I wanted to, I could brush his side or take his hand. I swallowed, my heart sinking deep into my stomach. I couldn't find the courage- or, if I was honest with myself- the desire to make the first move. It was late and I was tired after filming all day. We entered the lobby in mostly comfortable silence.

Smiling tiredly, I told him good night.

"Sleep well, Katie," he said. I was relieved when he went to his own room, without any awkward words or expressions.

All of a sudden, my drowsiness was eclipsed by remembrance: my mother was in my room. By now, she had most likely read the article about me and Henry; if I knew her, she had been composing sermons and lectures all afternoon and evening while she waited for me, getting angrier with the passing hours.

I could go to my room, face the music, and sleep once Mom was done. Or I could procrastinate and go talk to Henry about Sara, our new publicist, and set up an appointment like she had requested.

Now, normally procrastination is my middle name. At the thought of knocking on Henry's door… of possibly encountering Megan with him… of exchanging cold, brittle words, my stomach tightened painfully.

How could we go on like this? I wondered. Barely speaking, barely civil, and painstakingly polite- with so much buried beneath the surface that it choked any hope of forgiveness or reconciliation.

With a chill, I realized we couldn't. Not in this way. It would be impossible to revert to the friendship we had mere days ago, trusting and open and free. I owed it to myself and to the work I was doing, though, to try to rebuild the bridge I had burned.

If the bridge I'd destroyed had been made of titanium steel, then the only one I could construct now would most likely be one of those rope bridges out of scary movies. You know the ones- where there's always scary music and swinging, creaking ropes and someone falling to his or her death in the river below.

Well… it would be something, at least.

I chose what I perceived as the lesser of two evils (after all, this entirely professional conversation with Henry was going to take place sometime) and procrastinated going to my mother. I practically tiptoed past my room, sure that she would hear me and wrench open the door to drag me inside.

When I reached Henry's room, I stood in front of it for a long moment, unable to move. What if he wasn't alone? What if he refused to talk to me? Worse, what if it was just like talking to a stranger, as it had been earlier?

_Be brave_, I growled inside my head, and my hand shook a little as I raised it and knocked on the door.

I heard the muting of a TV inside the room, and footsteps coming closer. My forehead began to sweat, and I frantically considered running to my room- but before I could decide to retreat, the door opened.

Henry watched me, his eyes betraying nothing. I steeled my face into a mask of impassivity. After the silence was becoming uncomfortable, I muttered, "Hi."

"Hello," he answered. Another silence fell, even more tense than the last.

"Um…" I tapped my foot against the floor nervously, looking anywhere but at him. "Sara Isun asked me to arrange a meeting with the three of us to begin planning whatever it is she does."

His forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Who's Sara Isun?"

I flushed a little. I'm terrible at confrontations and even worse at this sort of coldness. "The new publicist. She caught me as I was leaving."

"Oh." Henry's expression cleared, still devoid of emotion. "Come in a second. I have to find my schedule so we can compare and figure it out."

My traitorous heart thudded with eagerness, but my legs wouldn't move. "Sure that won't violate your treaty with Megan?" I asked sourly, my eyes narrowing.

For the first time, he showed a sign of feeling. "I'll leave the door open."

"Fine," I snapped, the anger breaking out of my shell at last. I started to stomp past him, only to trip (classically me) on the divide between the room's carpet and the hardwood floor of the hallway. For a moment, I thought he would let me fall on my face. Then he reached out and braced me, wrapping his arm around my stomach.

I was caught against his chest and I shut my eyes tightly. In a moment of weakness, I leaned against his warmth and strength, the way I used to take for granted. The smell of him- the way he felt- nothing made me feel more whole. More complete. No one affected me this way; it was why he was dangerous to my sanity.

I stumbled away, feeling almost branded. "Thanks," I whispered, my voice as weak as my legs. I knew my face must be red because all the blood in my body had disappeared to color it.

Finally I gained the courage to glance at him, and what I saw tore me apart. His expression was wry and soft and just a little bit confused. "I'm used to it."

I pressed my lips together and wound my hands behind my back so that I wouldn't throw myself at him and beg his forgiveness.

"Where's that schedule you were talking about?" I said tonelessly, trying hard to go back to the numbness.

He gave his head a little shake, as if he needed to clear it. Yeah, right, I thought derisively. Like I affected him at all.

Henry sat at the computer desk and turned on his laptop. I stood on the other side of the room, afraid to make a move or otherwise draw attention to myself. Henry pulled up a document on the screen and said without looking at me, "Come take a look."

For a brief second I resisted. Then I walked very carefully over to the desk- after all, how embarrassing would it be to trip and land in his lap this time?

I gazed at the monitor without really seeing the words, standing next to Henry's chair. Finally he cleared his throat. "What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked.

Frowningly I held my PDA in my hands, extracting the little pen thingy from its place and trying hard to remember what Jason had showed me. "Hold on."

I tapped at the screen, but it didn't register. Aware of Henry's gaze on me, I tapped harder and harder until I was jamming the pen into the PDA with fervor. It wouldn't work! And this time I actually knew how to get to my schedule, but the stupid thingy wouldn't work!

Henry laughed under his breath, so low I could have mistaken it for a hitch in his breathing. With a sigh, he took my hand- the one holding the pen- and restrained me. "Give it to me," he said. For the first time in days there was no rancor or anger in his angel voice. If I hadn't known better, I would've thought there was a trace of the old affection.

But of course there wasn't. That affection was gone. I'd ruined it with my angry, hurt words. Hadn't I?

I handed the devil device to him with an indignant huff. "It's possessed!"

Now he really did laugh, although it wasn't with the freeness I was used to hearing. "Sweetheart, it probably just needs to be recalibrated."

"Needs to be what?" I asked in confusion. For a teenager in my generation, I was remarkably un-savvy with technology. Then the first part of his sentence registered and I took a step back. "Stop it."

He looked up at me from beneath his lashes, still seated in the chair. "Stop what?"

"Don't call me sweetheart." For some reason, I couldn't make the words as icy as I wanted to. Instead they came out choked, with all the pain of my first broken heart.

Henry's eyes widened a fraction, and for once he seemed to be lost for words. "I didn't." I stared at him, sure my own eyes were like a deer in the headlights. "Did I?" I nodded. "I wasn't thinking. Katie, don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" I said, my heart skipping a beat as he stood up.

"Like the world is in your eyes," he whispered. "And all of it is dark and sad." His mouth tightened, and his hand instinctively raised to brush away an errant lock of hair from my face. When he realized what he was doing, his hand fell lamely back to his side.

My mind focused solely on him without my consent. We stared at each other, and I tried to mask everything I was feeling. I'd already let on to too much.

I couldn't believe we were having this conversation. I shut my eyes and tried to tune it all out. The pain, the loneliness, the regret. Before I could stop myself, a tear drifted down my cheek. I'd thought all my tears over him were behind me.

Embarrassed, I turned away from him and crossed my arms, sneakily wiping away the teardrop. "Don't be melodramatic. I'm fine." I squeezed my eyes together tightly, and when I reopened them, I was sure my face was again perfectly blank. I faced him again. "Let's look at the schedules," I said briskly. "I'm ready to go to bed."

"Of course." He sat down again and got my PDA to work. We found my schedule. After comparing, we both agreed cordially that tomorrow would be the best day, because there was no principal filming- only acting lessons and Jason's tutoring for me, and a costume fitting for him.

"I'll call Sara in the morning," Henry said, taking her card from me. His hand brushed mine and as always, electricity shot through my body. This time I ignored it. There had been enough soul-searching tonight.

"Good night," I said stiffly.

"Good night," he responded, formal and grave. He was beautiful, and I hated myself for thinking it even now.

I walked towards the open door and paused, remembering my resolution to build a bridge- no matter how rickety. I swallowed hard. Maybe… hopefully… the first step would be the most difficult. Without turning around, I spoke. "Henry?"

"Yes, Katie?" He said my name without any intonation.

"I don't hate you." My words seemed to echo through the room, the only noise in the silent hall. "I never did. I'm not sure what made me say that. I was angry." I couldn't look at him. It would hurt too much if he hated me- or, worse, if he didn't care at all.

For the longest time I didn't think he was going to say anything. Then, as I finally took a step into the hall, discouragement and more embarrassment making my shoulders slump, he replied. "I'm glad. I can't hate you, either."

I left, my heart clenching… but somehow lighter. It was a step.

Then I ran into my mother. It really wasn't surprising, seeing as how we were living in the same hotel room (thanks, Henry), but still, I was hoping she would be in bed or something.

Knowing my luck, I should have expected what I saw: Mom in a frilly hotel bathrobe, her hair in curlers, sitting next to a box of tissues on the sofa. She was waiting to pounce. "Hi, Mom," I said carefully. "How was your day?"

"So-so," she answered. There was no hint of a smile on her face. Oh, this was going to be bad. "What about you, honey?" There was an undercurrent of steel there- like, _'fess up before I make you._

"Long." I sneakily sidestepped past the coffee table, past the little kitchenette, ambling towards the bedroom. If I could just make it into the other room I'd be home free-

"Katie Lee, get your butt back in here."

Suppressing a groan, I slowly wheeled around to face the music. My mom patted the seat beside her on the sofa. "Come sit down." Reluctantly I complied, fighting to keep from wincing as I noticed the newspaper laid out on the coffee table. "I was reading the paper today," she began. "And to my surprise, I read all about my daughter's escapades in Forks. And Los Angeles. With a young man I presumed to be a gentleman!" Her voice rose and rose until, on 'gentleman,' it was a high-pitched yelp.

I just had to be rational and explain to her. Surely she would understand. I mean, after all, she's my mother- she wants to believe the best of me. Right?

"Well, it's a long story," I floundered. She crooked one eyebrow in a manner I was very jealous of (apparently it wasn't handed down in the genes somewhere). "Um…"

"How about explaining why you and Henry were in the same hotel room?" she inquired, her hands laced together- probably to keep from strangling a confession out of me.

Without thinking, I said: "In Los Angeles or Forks?"

She sucked in a scandalized breath. "Katie Lee Miller!"

"It's not what you think!" I hastened to explain. "Really, it isn't! You were right, Henry is a gentleman- well, in the way you're talking about. In Los Angeles, my room was invaded by terrifying fashionistas bent on my destruction. Henry offered me refuge. And here in Forks, he got chased by a rabid Twilight-fan maid and he couldn't stay in his own room because of course she had a key-."

My mom interrupted me. "Katie, dearest," she said, patting my knee, "please don't make up wild stories to try and get off the hook. It's not necessary. I understand that you are a young woman and Henry is an attractive young man, and that you have no control over your hormones so it isn't really your fault at all-."

"MOM!" I yelped, scooting away from her hand on my knee. "Seriously! We haven't slept together or anything remotely close!"

She ignored me, continuing with her understanding tirade. "Henry, on the other hand, I am rather disappointed with. He seemed so well-mannered. In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn't have trusted him with my young and naïve daughter, but I never expected this of him…" she trailed off as she noticed me rocking back and forth with my hands over my ears. She pried them loose. "It's all right, Katie," she said consolingly. "I won't judge you. It is a natural and wonderful part of life. I do wish, though, that you might have been a bit more private. And that Jason fellow seems a bit shady. I can't believe you're growing up so fast!"

My ears were burning, and my cheeks were hot to the touch. "Mom," I said through gritted teeth, "listen to me. Please."

She folded her hands in her lap again. "Of course, dear."

"Henry and I are friends," I reiterated slowly, pronouncing each syllable with delicate precision. "Only friends. Nothing else. We had sleepovers, like best friends do, except it just so happens he's a boy and I'm a girl. That doesn't mean we gave in to our baser instincts, or whatever you want to call it."

My mom nodded with that same frustrating, faux-understanding look on her face. "Yes, yes, I've heard of this new trend," she murmured. Her own cheeks flushed a bit now. "Friends with benefits, that's what it's called, right?"

I smacked my hand against my forehead. "No! No benefits! Nothing physical at all except a hug or two!"

"That's not what the newspaper implied."

I stared at her in amazement. "Who are you going to believe? A gossip page or your own flesh and blood?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "I really have no idea what to think. A gossip page would exaggerate events to sell more copies, but you would understate events to get out of trouble, so I feel the truth must be somewhere in the middle."

I leaned back against the couch, closing my eyes. All of a sudden the tiredness caught up with me and all my negativity seemed so much more powerful than my will to fight it. "To tell the truth," I said, my throat aching with the pressure of holding back more tears (would they never stop?), "Henry and I aren't really even friends anymore, Mom. We had a huge fight and everything just seems… broken."

Peeking out, I looked at her. She was frowning now, leaning towards me. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

I exhaled in a whoosh of breath. It felt so good to talk to my mom- despite her insanity. (Yes, I understand that THAT trait is genetic.) "I was falling for him," I whispered, staring ahead with unfocused eyes. "Scratch that. I would have done anything to be with him. That much is true in the gossip. And I think he was falling for me too."

"But…"

"But, his ex-girlfriend came back into his life and he did a total one-eighty. He's back with her, despite the reasons they broke up in the first place, and part of her condition for getting together was that he wouldn't be around me as much." Surprisingly, I held my tears back with ease now. I was done crying. I just needed someone to talk to, someone who was unconditionally on my side, with no motive other than to listen.

"He agreed?" Mom asked, her voice breathless with shock.

"Yes," I said dully, a ghost of a smile on my face. "He probably didn't have to think about it too hard, Mom. She's a supermodel. And smart, and she acts so sweet he'll never see the meanness in her until it's too late. Henry always sees the best in everyone, no matter what. It's what I love about him, and it's the reason I'll never have enough of him."

"And to think he called me to protect you from another man!" she said indignantly. "Why, the nerve! I have half a mind to go and demand just what he was thinking."

"Thanks, but I'll deal with it," I said. I snuggled into her side, drowsing and trying to forget that Henry and I had snuggled on this same couch not long ago. "It just hurt that she meant so much and I meant nothing at all. He said he wanted to try to get around it, to still see me, but it would have felt weird. He had to make a choice and he chose her. Not me."

"Then he's an idiot." My mom stroked my hair lightly with one hand. I felt warm and loved, and much better than I had in several days. "You're my daughter, after all, which means you're funny and smart and every bit as pretty as any model."

I smiled, not believing it- but knowing that she did. That made all the difference. "Thanks," I murmured, my words muffled against her chest. "I love you."

"Oh, I love you too, Katie." She was silent for a moment as I slipped into the blissful stage of peace right before sleep. Then she had to go and ruin it. "So you two really didn't…"

"NO, Mom," I groaned, pulling a couch pillow over my face. "We really didn't! Go to bed, I want to sleep!"

"All right, all right," she said, and I could hear both relief and embarrassment in her laughter. She stood, carefully laying my head on the couch and smoothing a blanket over me. "Let me know if you need anything."

By then, I was already beyond comprehension. I didn't dream at all.

**AN: Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!**

**-Silv**


	30. Day by Day

**AN: Two updates in two days after a two-year hiatus! Whoa. Anyway, thanks to everyone who read and commented on the last chapter. I feel a lot more confident- and amazed. Thank you for both your constructive criticism and encouragement! They both help.**

**QOTC: There's got to be a better way for me to say what's on my heart, without leaving scars. So can you hear me when I call your name? And when you fall apart, am I the reason for your endless sorrow? There's so much to be said, and with a broken heart, your walls can only go down but so low.**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Day by Day**

I snorted into the couch, fighting waking up. My mom, being her typical self, was blow-drying her hair- loudly- about ten feet away from me.

"Seriously, Mom?" I said, my voice raspy with the remnants of sleep. "First you put me on the couch, then you wake me up at some ungodly hour so you can dry your hair?"

"It's time for you to get up anyway," she said.

Suspicious, I glanced at the clock. It was six in the morning. "This was the one morning since forever I was allowed to sleep in!" I exclaimed, seething just a little bit.

"Fine, then. Go back to sleep."

I huffed in indignation, sitting up and fully awake. "You know I can't go back to sleep once I wake up. You've lived with me for seventeen years."

"Yes, well… your director paid me a visit yesterday." Mom was very careful to keep her face hidden as I scrunched my blanket absently in my hands.

"What? You met Bob?" I was dumbfounded. When on earth had the man found the time, in between yelling at me and soothing his wife and running three movie sets?

Mom turned around now, shooting me a dazzling smile. "Oh, yes. He's such a nice man. I was rather worried about you, you know, sending you to Hollywood alone and unprotected when I didn't know the people you would be working with, but I do like Bob."

"Why didn't you mention this earlier?" I asked. I stood, stretching and hearing my bones crack. I'm not the most limber person in the world. Not even close.

"We had more pressing matters to discuss," she said. I winced at the reminder. "But it's not like I was keeping it a secret, Katie dearest. I was just saving it for a better time."

"Right," I said. Suspicion dripped from my pores. This alliance of Mom and Bob could not be a good sign for me… no, not at all. "What did he want?"

"Oh, to say hello," she said breezily, attempting to fasten the clasp of her necklace. "Have you seen my glasses?" She peered down at her hands, blinking in an attempt to see better with her own eyes.

I smiled reluctantly. Even when she annoyed me more than anyone else, I loved my mom and her eccentricities. "Here they are." I handed her the glasses and helped her fasten the necklace.

"Bob did mention that you need to learn to drive. I wish now I would have made you take your test when you turned fifteen, Katie, but you were so insistent that you wanted to wait."

Internally I flinched. Well, yes, I had prolonged learning to drive- me plus a fast-moving piece of finicky machinery plus other potential klutzes on the road was a frightening equation. "I've taken a few test drives," I said, not mentioning who had taught me. "But I'm still not good enough to try for my license or anything."

"Yes, that's what Bob talked to me about. He wondered whether I would mind spending a little time helping in that area," she said proudly. I realized that my mom had been feeling a little useless. She knew nothing about movies or this business or my job, just like I hadn't before I began. Bob had given her a purpose.

When Mom has a purpose, she gets scary-intense about it. In a week I would probably be able to parallel park within a milli-inch and drive down a twisting two-lane highway at seventy miles per hour with one hand on the wheel. In the dark. With her throwing things at me as distractions.

Well, that's an exaggeration (maybe). But seeing as how my driving instructor and I had gone our separate ways, it could be a good thing. It would keep Mom occupied and make Bob happy… if, of course, no one was injured in the process. That went without saying, where I was concerned.

"I'm going to get breakfast," I said. "I have acting practice this morning, then a meeting with some publicist lady this afternoon and tutoring and stuff. So I'll see you this evening."

Mom grinned at me. "Make sure to leave time for a driving lesson!" When I scowled, she added: "Come on. You didn't think I'd let you escape that easily, did you?"

"Of course not," I said grumpily. I grabbed my tote bag and stomped out the door in a foul mood.

I sat in the little breakfast area by myself, stubbornly gazing at my script without really seeing it. It was one of those mornings, when it seems everything is wrong and the world is conspiring against you. It didn't help that Henry wasn't there to split my brown sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts with me like he usually did. I just couldn't find it in me to eat his.

"Saving that for me?" a quiet voice said. I jumped, and my elbow brushed my grape juice. Before I could even try to stop its descent, a pale hand righted the cup. I looked up hesitantly at Henry, my eyes guarded.

He was looking especially delectable this morning, with slight dark circles under his eyes and tousled hair. I loved him the most this way, in jeans and a t-shirt. It showed just how natural his looks were- and how gracefully he carried them.

My chest twinged. I couldn't think of Henry as delectable because he wasn't mine to savor. I knew that his offer to share my Pop Tarts was pretty monumental, in terms of peace offerings. It was a Katie and Henry tradition.

Did I want to take the olive branch, or smack it back in his face?

_Building bridges, Katie. Building bridges_, I reminded myself, quelling the urge to take a huge bite of the remaining Pop Tart. "I can't eat two," I muttered ungraciously, glaring at the table. "So yeah, you can have it. I don't care."

He sat down across from me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw his expression: soft again, with a crooked little smile curving up his mouth. "Thank you."

I didn't answer. We finished eating in silence, but it wasn't painful like the past few days of not speaking. Instead, it was almost like the old days; we could just sit and do nothing and I would feel better just by being with him.

But those days were over. This had a tinge of awkwardness and guilt to it that the old silences never had. I had never, ever felt uncomfortable with Henry, even when I felt I didn't deserve his friendship. Now there was a gulf between us. Last night, I set out on a boat to cross the water, but I felt like I'd misplaced my oar.

Henry, just like ninety percent of the time, broke the quiet. "I'm leaving to meet Sara at one, if you need a ride."

"Did you clear that with Megan?" I asked before I could stop myself. I swear, the nasty words just zinged out of my mouth without my permission. "Or does that constitute unnecessary time in contact?" The acidity in my voice was poisonous. How did Henry do this to me? (Why, oh why, I wailed internally, couldn't I have been good and just said "Yes, Henry, I do need a ride. Thank you.")

His mouth tightened. "Fine, then. You can either walk or ride with me because no one else is going there this afternoon. That's why I offered. And if you choose to ride with me, you'd better keep your mouth shut about Megan." He stood up, threw away his trash, and walked out.

I regretted what I'd said before he even left. Heck, before the words were fully to his ears. But now the entire peacemaking breakfast was shot, and to top it all off, my acting lesson was an epic fail.

"I just don't get it, Katie," Brooklyn said in frustration, her hands cradling her head. "You're so good and natural and professional when the camera's on, but it's like you can't focus in rehearsal."

"Sorry," I said. I'd been trying hard to keep my mind on the target- making sure the meadow scene in two days was every bit as perfect as it should be. Despite my best efforts, I could only think about this morning and what I'd said. In a way, I felt justified: Henry had hurt me. A lot. And the whole agreement with Megan was just ridiculous and unfair to me- he should never have said yes.

There was no telltale stinging in my eyes as I thought about it, only a heaviness in my chest that wouldn't go away or even lift a fraction. Henry had done nothing to earn my forgiveness. Pop Tart sharing wasn't good enough. No. He didn't deserve my forgiveness. I would be casually polite to him, and cold, and professional, so that it wouldn't affect the movie. That was all.

A tiny voice whispered inside my head: _Well… not unless he really works for it._

The heaviness increased, as well as the butterflies in my stomach, as one o'clock came closer and closer. At twelve, Brooklyn finally let me out of the acting lesson with a pointed reminder to study my lines.

I ate lunch slowly, prolonging having to make a choice: ride with Henry, after what I'd said (and the meanness with which I'd said it), or walk. One look outside showed pouring rain, a la Forks.

Still… pneumonia was sounding a lot better than riding with Henry. No doubt he was furious. And even though there was definitely a reason for me to be angry with him, I knew that he would feel the same about me- and I didn't blame him. That was the problem. It wasn't like one of us was solely in the wrong, and I was grown-up enough to know that.

Of course, I believed it was ninety-nine point nine percent his fault, but I wasn't in a charitable mood.

He came into the lobby at ten before one, and he wasn't alone. Megan had followed him out to say goodbye. She embraced him and gave him a leisurely, romantic smooch that made my lunch threaten to come back up as smelly goo. Finally they separated, and Henry dug out his car keys.

My mouth tasted bitter, but I reminded myself: build a bridge. Even when it's hard. Also, I really didn't feel like walking a few miles in the downpour, but that was beside the fact…

So I pushed my chair back and walked over to him, clutching my bag tightly out of nervousness. He looked at me coldly. "Do you want to apologize?"

My jaw dropped. Seriously? _Did I want to apologize? _Maybe once hell froze over. After that very public display of affection- right where he knew I would see it- I didn't think _I_ was the one owing _him_ anything. "No, not really," I said.

"Fine, then. Be childish." He pushed the lobby door open with a little more force than was strictly necessary. My blood was boiling all over again, and suddenly I couldn't stand the idea of a tense, painfully silent car ride to Sara's office with him. I turned onto the sidewalk and started walking.

"Katie, where do you think you're going?" His voice was angry.

"I'm walking. I don't really want to ride with you. I have a feeling you'd run me into a pole or something, so no, but thanks for the offer."

I heard quick footsteps coming up behind me, and his hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. "Do you really think I would do that?" To my amazement, he had the gall to look hurt.

We were both standing in the rain, both already drenched and freezing. Finally, I looked away. "No. I was exaggerating. But I don't want a ride, so go away."

He sighed. "Katie, don't make me pick you up and throw you in the car. You're going to get sick if you walk in this weather, without a jacket or anything." I could see in his eyes he really was upset. Yeah, if Bella became deathly ill at this point in filming, it would make his life harder, wouldn't it?

I stared at him mulishly, and then I tromped over to his car without any grace or dignity whatsoever. It was unlocked and I climbed inside. I buckled my seatbelt, crossed my arms, and looked out the window as he got in.

We were both silent for the first few minutes. Again, he broke it with a long sigh. "I think we need to talk about all of this. It's only getting worse."

"No," I said. "Talking is what makes it worse in the first place, Henry. I say something, or you say something, and anything we could do to make it better is irrelevant because we both just get mad again."

"Then what do you want from me? To stay like this? Mad and angry and distracted? It's not going to work during filming. Acting can only go so far against nature."

I laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Oh, please. Don't try to pretend it matters. You have what you wanted, and I'm sorry I'm not falling at your feet anymore, but you knew this would happen when you took Megan back. Obviously, losing me was worth getting her."

His hands gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. "I never thought I'd lose your friendship, Katie. I thought we were different than that. Stronger."

I just shook my head. "You thought wrong."

We pulled up to a tiny little building and Henry parked, turning off the engine- but neither of us made a move to get out. "Is it because of Megan?" he asked, looking at me directly for the first time on the trip. "Is it just that you don't like her?"

"No," I snapped. Geez.

"Then what is it?" It was obvious he didn't have a clue, and I really wasn't in the mood to enlighten him.

"Right now," I said firmly and calmly, "the important thing is that we go inside and be nice to one another for an hour or two, just for show. Then we can go back to whatever this is."

"I'll hold you to that." There was a direct challenge in his expression, and internally I cringed. I'd hoped that if I could put off the conversation, he would forget- or it would be too awkward to bring back up. It didn't look like that was his plan.

The meeting with Sara was actually pretty painless. We talked a lot about what our schedule would be like after filming was over in a month, with interviews and promotions and such. She said she would get back to us about a date for a photo shoot for the film poster and advertisements, and we shook hands with her.

True to form, I procrastinated getting back into Henry's car. I used the bathroom, went next door to a café for a bottle of water, etc. Finally he got impatient and started towards his car. The rain had cleared up. "You know, it's a pretty day," I said airily, beginning to walk on the sidewalk past the dreaded vehicle. "Maybe I'll just…"

I trailed off at the look on his face.

"Katie," he said evenly, "get in the car."

A little shiver raced down my spine at his tone. I told myself it was just nervousness. "Yes, sir," I muttered sarcastically, and obeyed. Wouldn't you?

I resumed my position from the drive to the office and crossed my arms, staring out the window to avoid looking at him. Unfortunately, due to my lack of a sense of direction, it took me a while to realize we were taking the scenic route. As in, out of town and into the woods. "Where are you going?" I asked.

"Somewhere we can finish this conversation without anyone watching and without my being distracted by driving."

"Oh." I let a second pass as I thought about that. "I wouldn't mind you being distracted."

He snorted. "Yeah, I figured." Finally he pulled over onto a little gravel path that had a sign reading "Scenic Overlook". He parked, his the only car in the miniscule lot, and looked at me expectantly.

I found my courage (amazing, I didn't think I had any to begin with) and went with him, walking in silence to the overlook. We sat on the wall, staring out at the scenery. There was a curious sort of peace in the woods, and I could feel the tension fade out of my spine. I breathed deeply and shut my eyes. There was nothing quite like nature to soothe you.

Then a bug crawled over my hand on the rock, and I yelped, shaking it off. So much for the joys of nature.

"Okay," Henry said, thinking out loud. "Where do we start?"

"We don't," I said helpfully.

He shot me a look- still angry, but a little bit amused at the same time. "Oh, believe me. We do." He thought for another little bit. "How about… If you're not angry about Megan, what are you angry about?"

My instinctive reaction was to shut off and not say anything. But out here, I felt like the two of us were alone in the world. It reminded me of the day in the meadow, before everything went wrong. I felt closer to him; I could see the remnants of the best friend that had been destroyed. "I… it's hard to put into words," I whispered, staring out at the valley.

"Try?"

The gentleness of the question made me swallow hard. Henry wasn't fighting fair. He had to know the effect he had on me. "It isn't just that I had… romantic feelings for you," I began, fighting past a lump in my throat as I got the words out. "Although I definitely did, and it hurt a lot that you went back to Megan. That alone, though, I could have understood, even though it would've been hard."

I continued, and it all seemed to just… spill out of me. I didn't have to fight to make sense of it anymore. "I know you were with her a really long time, and you love her. That part is okay. The part that really hurt me, and really made me mad, was that you didn't talk to me about it. You just assumed it would be fine and I'd keep smiling like nothing had changed. And that damned agreement you made with her, Henry!" Finally, I looked at him, and the lump in my throat became a big fat rock. I swallowed again. "How could you do that? Even if you wanted to give her another chance, how could you? It wasn't fair or right for her to ask, and the fact that you said yes means you value her more than our friendship."

He started to talk, but I cut him off. "That's why I don't think we can fix this. At least, I don't think we can go back to where we used to be. It's not about being with Megan or not being with Megan, or my talking to Jason. It's about the value we put on our relationship, whether that relationship is friendship or something else. It held too much value for me, and not enough for you. How can we go back, knowing that?" To my amazement, I felt better with the words out. Calmer.

Now he broke my gaze, looking away. "You think I don't miss you?" he whispered. "I told you, Katie. I was going to get around what Megan and I talked about. I just need to give her time so she'll trust me again, and then it can go back to normal. _We_ can be normal." He looked at me imploringly, tears in his eyes.

"But when you go behind her back to talk with me, you make our friendship feel wrong, Henry. Dirty. When it was never anything other than right. That's what I tried to get across to you before. If Megan can't understand the way we relate to each another, that isn't my fault and I feel like I'm being punished for something I didn't do."

He didn't cry, but the tears lingered in his eyes, and he blinked hard. The sight broke my heart all over again. Somehow, they made me believe that he missed me too, much more than any words could have. "So you don't want to fix this." He said it as a statement, devoid of emotion. It contrasted with the conflict on his face.

"I didn't say I didn't want to. I just don't think it's possible... Not in the way you want. I can't be your friend and constantly feel second best, like I'm sneaking around just to talk to you. That isn't in me and I used to think it wasn't in you, either."

Henry frowned, absorbing my defense. Suddenly he muttered, "I'm sorry for calling your mom. That was low."

I laughed, and so did he. It felt good, even if it wasn't much in the face of everything else. That one apology helped, but we both knew it didn't solve any of the big problems. "Yes, it was," I agreed quietly.

"How do we go on?" he asked me, and yes- there was pain in his voice. It shouldn't have, but it did make me feel better to know I wasn't the only one hurting. I hadn't been a total idiot when I'd thought he cared about me.

"What do you mean?" I answered carefully.

"How do we see each other, every day, and stay mad? Or if not mad, not friends?"

I smiled at him- the saddest, wisest smile I've ever felt cross my face. "We take it day by day. Maybe it will get better, in time. Maybe it will hurt less."

He shook his head. "Maybe."

Deep inside, I doubted it, and I wondered if he did too.

We sat there for a few more minutes, both lost in thought. When Henry finally hopped off the wall and offered me his hand, I was reluctant to lose this frozen moment of fragile honesty. In the real world, with the Megans and the Jasons and the Moms, tranquility was so hard to find. I had started to find it with Henry, but from now on, I had to learn to be strong on my own.

It didn't matter whether or not we could gloss over this rift and be friends again someday. In a few months- or a year, max- people were going to know my name. Maybe not as a real celebrity or someone who made the front page of gossip magazines, but I had to build up strength to make it through that first wave of scrutiny or it would crush me.

I stared down at Henry, with his hand waiting to help me down. _Always the gentleman, Mr. Cavill_, I thought with a pang. He was the one I'd counted on to help me into this new world. I'd been wrong to think that; it was my life and my decisions, after all.

I stretched my hand out tentatively to grasp his. Our hands melded together. His was warm, familiar, and comforting. "Careful," he cautioned. I jumped down from the high wall, the impact jarring my knees, and he steadied me before letting go of my hand.

We talked a little more on the way back to the hotel, mainly small talk about the movie and the work ahead of us. Nothing personal; we'd left that somewhere in the forest. Not the anger, not the hurt, those were still there in our tension and overly light words. But maybe, just maybe, the conversation had taken the first sting of betrayal away, and replaced it with hope.

Henry parked and turned off the engine; I glanced at the clock. With alarm, I noticed it was four o'clock… we were almost an hour late getting back. Jason would be looking for me, armed with math and Spanish grammar.

I didn't really want to see Jason. I wanted to go sit in my room, by myself, and curl up on the couch with junk food and a book to take my mind off everything. But part of learning to fit into this life, I reminded myself, was going to be doing things when they needed to be done- not just when I wanted to do them.

As we walked to the lobby door, Henry stopped me. "There's something I want you to know," he said. "I was debating whether or not to say anything, but it's important to me. If you ever need anything, or you're in trouble, you can still call me and I promise I'll come. No matter what."

The sincerity in his eyes, and the way he said it, almost hurt. "Thanks," I said. Then something prompted me to add : "Ditto."

He smiled at me then, a real smile, even though it was only a tiny upturn at the corners of his mouth. "Thanks."

I went to Jason with a buzzing brain and a tired, confused heart. He was irritated, of course. Jason didn't like tardiness very much. "You're late," he said with a scowl.

"I know. I'm sorry. The meeting with our publicist ran over," I said. I wasn't sure what made me lie. I just didn't want to explain myself and what had just happened with Henry to some guy I barely knew except from one embarrassing, accidentally drunken date.

He tapped his red pen against the table. "Really?" he said. I nodded, my stomach sinking a bit at the smug look on his face. "That's interesting, Katie, because when I called Ms. Isun, she told me you had left early. Over an hour ago."

My breath caught, half in fear and half in anger. Where did Jason get off, acting like he had the right to know where I was every second of the day? Still, I tried to smooth it over. "There was traffic," I said lamely.

He snorted in a very ungentlemanly fashion. "In _Forks_?"

I blew out my breath in a huff. "There was a car accident." It was clear he still didn't believe me. "A moose was involved."

"Oh, of course," he said with an oily smoothness that I disliked instantly. "I apologize, Katie. I shouldn't have questioned you."

I was pretty sure my eyes were crackling. After the last few days of sweet-talking and puppy-dog eyes, you would think he'd try to tamp down the control maniac attitude a bit. "No, you shouldn't have."

We left the awkward subject there and moved on to a much easier (and more boring) one: math. Again. I was pretty sure Jason was punishing me for lying to him, because he had _promised_ me a break from equations, but there was no way to call him out on it.

Two hours later, my head aching (numbers simply should not be mixed with letters. That's why they were not included in the alphabet), I trudged to my room and found a note from my mom.

_Out for the evening with Pam and Simon! They are just so sweet, welcoming me to Forks. There's a Lean Cuisine in the kitchenette fridge. Call me if you need anything! Love you!_

_Mommy_

_P.S. It'll be dark before I get home, so you escaped a driving lesson. Lucky… but don't get used to it._

My dream from earlier was coming true. I plopped onto the couch, called for a pizza to be delivered (along with Coke, chips, and dessert), and happily flipped through the TV before settling in to read a book.

Gradually, after I'd eaten five slices of pepperoni-and-sausage pizza, almost the whole bag of chips, my weight in chocolate, and downed a two-liter of Coke, I fell asleep with the book open in my lap. I knew I'd regret eating all that in the morning- and at my next meeting with my physical trainer- but it felt good to indulge myself.

My mom came home around midnight, tiptoeing through the room. I tried very hard to look dead asleep, and my acting skills must be improving (ha. I KNEW there was some sort of benefit to Brooklyn's lessons!) because she kept going, shutting the door between her bedroom and the living room.

I snuggled against the couch quietly, placing my book on the coffee table, and fell back asleep.

The next morning, I was glad for the extra sleep. I woke up to the phone ringing shrilly. I stumbled over to the phone and mumbled a groggy "Hello?"

"Oh, Katie," Bob said breathlessly. "Thank the high heavens you're awake."

Well, I was now. Surely he knew how loud these ridiculous phones were? Then again, he was probably staying in some posh condo or penthouse or something like that. Directors.

"What's up?" I said, staggering back to plunk onto the sofa. Briefly, I considered hanging up and snuggling back into the warm spot left from the night's sleep, but decided that would only result in another, more frantic phone call. Better not to make the Bobster mad.

I giggled a little, still half-asleep and foggy in the thinking department. The Bobster, Bobster, Bobster!

I stopped chanting in my head when I started chanting out loud. Luckily, the Bobster (BOB, I told myself strictly) didn't notice. "Bad news, kid. The weather was supposed to be perfect for tomorrow- a little cloudy, but with enough sunshine to make it work, plus there's always editing. But there's this little upstart of a storm coming in early and now we have to change all the plans."

Frowning, I thought really hard. Tomorrow… tomorrow… what was tomorrow again? Then my eyes jolted wide open. Oh, yeah. Tomorrow was the meadow scene. "So it's getting postponed or what?" I asked, wide awake now.

"Of course not, it's almost all set up now, we'll lose a ton of labor and prop money if we have to redo it. I'm going to need you on set at the meadow ASAP, Katie."

I sighed. "All right," I muttered, thinking longingly of sleep and pigging out and being lazy.

"ASAP, Katie," Bob intoned before he hung up. "ASAP!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.

The phone rang again, and I growled a little, pouncing on it before Mom could hear and possibly wake up to make my morning even better. "Yes, Bob, I know," I said, finally losing my temper. "ASAP. As soon as possible. I understand."

There was a moment of silence. "So I guess you got a phone call too?" said a familiar voice with the most attractive British accent I'd ever heard.

My breath got sucked out of my chest. "Oh… yeah. Sorry." My heart started to thump in the old pattern. Stupid lungs. Stupid heart.

Stupid, predictable me.

"Want a ride?" he asked. "Most of the crew is already over there, getting it ready ahead of schedule."

I paused for a beat, deliberating. "I don't know if that's a good idea, Henry," I said, with as much gentleness as I could muster. I didn't want to hurt him, but he couldn't start thinking that things were getting back to normal. Because they weren't. I had decided to be a coldhearted, professional, mature woman who could handle a little pain and loneliness without caving in and crawling back to his feet.

Still… ye gods, his voice was incredible to hear first thing in the morning. I just wanted him to talk more, and yet I didn't. "It's logical," he said with exasperation. "I thought we covered this yesterday."

I toyed with the phone cord (what phone actually uses cords anymore?) and decided that it might be best to be friendly, since the meadow scene was… Pretty friendly. "Okay. I'll meet you in the lobby in ten." I checked myself in the mirror and cringed. The aftereffects of my late night one-girl party were pretty evident and grungy. "Make that fifteen."

"Okay," he agreed, and hung up. I showered and dressed in comfortable, warm clothes, ready for the day in every technical sense. I had reviewed the context of the scene to the movie/book, practiced the lines, and thought about Bella's character in it, as Brooklyn had assigned. In every personal sense, though, my stomach was flip-flopping.

One thing Brooklyn had said before I left her lesson yesterday stuck with me, niggling in my head. "In all acting, the most important thing is to let go. Not of who you are, but of everything else. The good, the bad, the ugly. The shields and barriers you have. Let it all fade away, and what you're left with is the barest part of yourself- the part that can be molded and shaped into a character, because you can change. You can be whoever you want. The best acting isn't putting on a character every day. It's finding that character in yourself and making it fit who you are."

Here, she had stopped and grabbed my shoulders, as though afraid that I wasn't listening. "But to do that, Katie, you've got to let go of everything else and just feel. If you can't lose yourself in the moment, if it doesn't affect you like you want to affect the people who are watching, it will just be mediocre."

I knew why she'd said it. Everyone on set could tell by now that something was wrong between me and Henry, even if they didn't know the details. She had been telling me this for the meadow scene.

The idea of just letting go, and feeling… it was one of the scariest concepts I'd ever comprehended, especially in this instance. As the hot water raced down my hair and back in rivulets, I wondered if I had the courage to drop the anger, the insecurity, the pain, and lose myself in Henry like Bella should lose herself in Edward.

It would be all too easy to do- that was the problem. I was worried that if I got lost, I wouldn't want to be found again. There was no other choice; it was what had to be done. I just hoped it didn't hurt too much after I resurfaced this evening and faced reality once more.

**AN: Soo the meadow scene is next! XD Please let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!**

**-Silv**


	31. Collide

**AN: It's a little rough, but I still like it haha. I had to create my own sort-of movie script for this chapter, because obviously recreating the entire meadow scene would be unrealistic. I hope it's not too far off from the original!**

**My playlist when writing this one was: Call Your Name by Daughtry, Collide by Howie Day, Ashes and Wine by A Fine Frenzy, and Falling Slowly by Kris Allen.**

**I hope you enjoy reading as much as I loved writing!**

**QOTC: Even the best fall down sometimes, even the stars refuse to shine. Out of the back you fall in time. I somehow find you and I collide.**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Collide**

The drive to the set actually wasn't too uncomfortable. We ran lines together, and that ensured that we had no time to talk about anything awkward. Then again, the lines themselves could get a little awkward- but I wasn't thinking about that. Nope. No thinking.

Henry pulled up to the side of a tent, and both of us quickly jumped out. He tossed his keys to an aide waiting nearby. The meadow set was a hive of activity. Men and women raced from spot to spot, some running wires, some arranging lights, some checking camera angles or doing last-minute changes to the set.

I felt a pulse of energy rush through me, fueled by the energy I could feel in my surroundings. Everyone was working hard to make this perfect.

Henry and I parted wordlessly. I headed towards Orla, who was beckoning me into a trailer along the side of the road. She carefully drew out my features with makeup, and I popped the brown contacts into my eyes while she got ready to arrange my hair. It was mostly down, with just the front part pulled back in a pretty barrette.

I was quiet, lost in my own head, and she finally tugged my hair playfully. "Anybody in there?" she teased.

Blinking, I came back to reality. "Yeah. Sorry." I grinned despite the butterflies in my stomach.

"Are you nervous?"

"Orla, I don't know how I'm going to handle this." Her perceptiveness astonished me. Orla could read me so well.

She placed her hands on my shoulders for a moment, and we both looked at our reflection in the mirror. "You'll be surprised how much strength there is inside you, Katie. I see it."

I grimaced. "Thanks. I guess most people would be jumping on me for dreading this, wouldn't they?" I let out a panicked little chuckle. "It's not like I'm being tortured. I just have to pretend I'm in love with a gorgeous guy."

The feeling of Orla's fingers working in my hair soothed me. "It will all fall into place. Just don't worry about it. There's a reason you were chosen as Bella, right?"

There was a burst of warmth in my chest. "Unless they just picked my name out of a hat. Or they were desperate."

She swatted me with the brush, laughing. "Oh, hush, you. Just be yourself and forget about the stupid crap. Now go change."

Wise words.

I stood and she handed me familiar clothes to change into. It was the first outfit I'd worn in filming, that day in Los Angeles when we'd done Edward running in front of the green screen… and the first onscreen kiss.

I left the trailer to walk around outside. I heard Bob talking rapidly to one of the cameramen; it seemed that the big storm was supposed to come in late tonight, after it got dark, but the forecast threatened mild rain later in the afternoon.

My double, Jessea, met me to walk through the scene. We were beginning as Edward and Bella approached the meadow, and continuing on with a few different shots until we were resting with our arms around each other.

"It'll be gorgeous," Jessea said excitedly. "Sweeping panoramic shots, close-ups, all that good stuff. This scene is going to make the movie!"

My stomach tightened a little bit. "I really hope so," I said softly.

Her eyes widened as she was distracted by something over my shoulder. "Oh… wow," she breathed, her mouth resting in an O.

"What?" I asked, turning around.

I should have known. Henry had just entered the set, his shirt (matching mine, like in the book) unbuttoned. I closed my eyes, fighting my instinctive reaction to him- not just desire, or attraction, but happiness. In my heart, his presence was like hot chocolate, warm and sweet.

I remembered Brooklyn's lesson painfully. _Don't fight it_.

With difficulty, I watched him as he moved towards Bob and engaged him in conversation, and I allowed myself to feel happy.

Feelings that I had locked deep down surged back up- pain and grief, in small doses, but mostly affection and love.

I turned away. Surely there was no point in being masochistic. The temporary reprieve restored my sanity as I talked with Jessea, observing the finishing touches being put on the set. Finally, Bob and Henry looked in my direction and Bob waved me over.

Gathering my composure, I said goodbye to Jessea and walked over to them, politely greeting both. "Good morning," Bob said briskly. "Jessea described the scene, right?"

"Yeah, she told me about it." For once, Bob didn't have a variety of phones, pagers, and walkie talkies clipped to his belt. He seemed to be as singularly focused as the rest of the crew.

"We'll be doing three different segments. One as you two walk into the clearing, one up until Edward has his little panic attack, and from then until the end. We'll probably have to do a few different takes with some different angles and vantage points." He gestured vaguely as he spoke.

Henry and I nodded, and I avoided his eyes. Bob glanced between the two of us, and worry creased his forehead- but he didn't say anything about it. "We're almost ready to go. It's going to be a long day, kids, but all the fangirls are gonna love this one."

I smiled reluctantly, remembering how it felt to read the scene in the book for the first time... The sense of magic. Bob and Jessea were right; it could be incredible.

Someone called over to Bob. I couldn't tell what was said, but apparently he'd been expecting the message. "All right," he said, slapping his hands together with enthusiasm. "Ronnie here is going to take you two a little ways into the woods with the camera crew."

A short, dark-haired man appeared at Bob's side almost out of thin air. He had a headset on, talking to someone about location. "Katie?" Bob added as we followed Ronnie away from the meadow. I twisted my head around to glance at him inquiringly. "Please, please don't trip and sprain your ankle."

Henry burst out in laughter, and I flushed. "I'll do my best," I growled, my back going ramrod-straight.

Henry and I had fallen into step automatically, his longer strides shortening to match mine. He nudged me gently. "Oh, come on," he said. "You know that was funny."

"No. It was a jinx," I said stubbornly. "Now I _will_ trip, and it will all be Bob's fault."

We had entered the woods. There was a narrow path, but it was riddled with stumps and tree roots. My companion smiled at me, his even white teeth flashing in the shadows of the trees. "Don't worry. If you trip, I won't let you fall."

I swallowed hard as we looked at each other, and I read the affection in his expression.

Then, in an ironic twist, Henry's foot caught on a stump and he tilted forward alarmingly, his arms pinwheeling. I didn't even have to think about it. I instantly reached out and grabbed his arm with both hands, using my entire weight to jerk him upright.

I stared at him, and his face colored a little. I laughed. "And Bob was worried about _me_," I exclaimed. Ronnie and the cameramen in front of us gave me a bewildered glance, having missed the whole escapade.

"Everything okay?" Ronnie asked.

"Yep," I said, still chuckling. "Gorgeous trip." Henry shot me a glare, but there was no heat in it.

"Oh, come on," I parroted. "You know that was funny."

A smile broke onto his face, lighting him up from the inside. "Yes, it was," he agreed.

We walked about two hundred feet into the woods. There was already a tiny team there waiting for us. After a brief wait while the equipment was placed into position, we began.

Henry walked slightly in front, holding my hand to guide me through the unfamiliar territory. I relaxed into the setting, concentrating on not falling down. I tried not to notice the warmth of his hand, securely clasped with mine.

"Are we there yet?" I asked.

"Nearly," he said, and he smiled back at me. "Can you see the brightness ahead?"

I squinted into the distance. All I could see was the occasional spot of sunlight where it broke through the ceiling of leaves. "Um... Should I?"

He laughed under his breath. "Maybe it's a bit soon for _your_ eyes," he teased lightly.

"Time to visit the optometrist," I muttered, and he laughed again. Then, after a few more seconds, I saw what he was talking about. Up ahead, there was a faint glow of light. Eagerly I took the lead, letting go of his hand.

I walked into a pool of sunlight that almost hurt my eyes after the shadowed forest. I was awestruck at the incredible beauty of the meadow. Violet, yellow, and white wildflowers dotted the tall green grass, waving in a gentle breeze. It amazed me that something this perfect could exist in nature. (Of course, it was man-made, but I was lost in the moment.)

After I had drunk in the lavish sight, I turned around with a radiant smile to look for Edward, expecting him to be there beside me. My smile faded as I kept looking. Then I saw him, hanging back at the ring of trees. I took a confused step toward him and stopped when he held up his hand.

We both took a deep breath as he walked forward into the sun.

Unlike in the book, nothing out of the ordinary happened. Edward's sparkling skin would be added digitally later. Still, seeing him like this in the full sunlight hit me hard. Here, I felt halfway between a dream and reality. Halfway between a fictional character and a live human being.

"And _cut_," Bob called.

I tore my gaze away, watching as Bob and his staff reviewed the tape to decide if another take, or a different vantage point was needed. Finally he shook his head. "No, that one was pretty simple. We'll move on."

There was a whirlwind of commotion as Orla came over to touch up my makeup. The day was a bit muggy, and the thickness in the air threatened to make me sweat. I tilted my face to the sun after she was finished, trying to catch the breeze on my face and not mess up my makeup.

The wiring and lighting was already in place, so once the cameras were set, Henry and I were instructed to sit in the center of the meadow. For a little bit, while Bob talked with his staff about the best way to shoot the upcoming dialogue and action, Henry and I were left alone.

"This is beautiful," Henry said. He leaned back on his hands and tilted his face back too. "Wow. Talk about going all out."

It was small talk, but it made me feel a little more comfortable with the intimacy of the scene ahead- and Henry probably knew that. The problem wasn't physical intimacy, because compared to a lot of things in that arena, the meadow scene was pretty tame. The problem was the deep, soulful connection that was supposed to be between them at this point.

After all, it was kind of Bella and Edward's first date. This was the point in the story when he made up his mind for good that he would never hurt her, where they talked about what being together meant.

Still staring at the blue, clouded sky, I responded to Henry. "This was always my favorite part of the book."

He was silent for a second. "Why?"

"It's the simplicity of it. It's… romantic, for lack of a better word. They're trying to learn how to love each other."

I could see his head turn out of the corner of my eye to watch me, but I said nothing else.

My hand reached down to pull up grass, only for my brain to remember in time that that would be a very bad idea. I could practically feel the creative team's collective eyes boring into the back of my skull.

After so long a pause that I thought he had dropped the conversation, Henry asked: "So you think people have to learn to love?"

I glanced at him, startled. "Of course. You can't just come out of the gate with a perfect relationship. You have to pay attention and listen, and make compromises. It's not easy." Then I blushed, realizing I'd gotten a little carried away. "Well, not that I have any personal experience or anything, but that's just what I think."

He sat entirely upright now, on the same level as me. "Couldn't the same thing apply to all sorts of relationships? Any kind of love?"

I shrugged, answering cautiously. "Yeah, I suppose it would."

"Ready in two!" Ronnie called over at us, flashing two fingers up.

There was a last-minute hubbub as our positions, outfits, and hair were fixed; Bob gave us some last coaching on our lines. A powerful silence fell over the area as we started. Everyone who wasn't doing some task or other sidled over to the set to watch.

Henry/Edward was sprawled in the grass, lying back with his arms stretched out. The sunlight washed over him, making his pale skin glow. I sat beside him, my arms wrapped around my knees, just looking at him. We rested in peace, enjoying the tranquility of the world. A gentle breeze played with my hair.

Slowly, I reached out to touch his palm, laying flat on the grass close to me. I traced the veins, studying the sunlight's effect on him. In a leisurely way, his eyes opened, bright and intent. "I don't scare you?" He asked curiously.

I smiled down at him. "No more than usual." He laughed quietly and smiled back at me. Both of us spoke softly without being directed- it seemed like if we made any sudden movements, or made much noise, this fragile peace would be shattered.

Getting bolder, I shifted a little closer and lightly ran a finger up his forearm, marveling at the feel of the skin beneath my fingers. I imagined what it would be like to see that skin glittering, as though it hid diamonds just beneath the surface.

Heaven help people watching the finished product. This Edward was already breathtaking enough without any special effects.

As I traced his arm, I peered over at him. "Do you mind?"

"No." His voice was a little rougher than normal. "You can't imagine how that feels. You're so warm." I met his gaze, and the intensity of his eyes jolted me. The person behind them- though he looked, sounded, and moved like Edward- wasn't Edward. He was Henry.

I tried hard, but I couldn't get back into the moment with him, back to when it all seemed like a fantastical dream. I lost our comfortable, tranquil dynamic.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Henry whispered. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing." His expression was soft, sincere, and caring. A thought popped into my head: what was he thinking of, with that look on his face? Was it Megan?

With an effort of will I wrenched myself back into the acting, but for the life of me I couldn't remember my next line.

"I'm thinking…" I started, but I had no idea what came next. There was a brief pause as Bob waited for me to catch myself, to continue, before he yelled "Cut!"

I panicked a little bit. In general, I might mess up the little things, or not go in quite the direction Bob wanted me to, but I never forgot lines or lost track of what I was doing. My hand still rested on Henry's arm from the scene, and my face flushed as I hastily moved it.

He caught my hand in his, not letting me withdraw, and leaned close. "Hey." His eyes bored into mine, seeming to search for something. I couldn't meet his gaze for long, dropping my eyes in embarrassment. The entire crew was watching our private drama. "Shake it off, Katie. Everyone messes up sometimes."

"I know." I couldn't keep the discomfort out of my voice, and inside I was afraid that another take wouldn't change anything that had gone wrong.

"All right," Bob called. "Let's start again. Take two."

This time, I took Brooklyn's advice and let myself slip into the dangerous world where thoughts and reason were forgotten. No manipulation or calculation, Katie, I reminded myself. Just… emotions. I relaxed into the peace again and this time, when Henry and I looked at each other, I let my recognition of him wash over me and enhance my acting instead of destroying it.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he whispered for the second time. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing."

I weighed my words for a moment. They came so naturally, it was hard for me to believe that sheer minutes ago they'd been unreachable. "I was wishing I could believe you were real," I answered. My throat locked around the truth, and I almost felt bittersweet tears in my eyes. "And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

The vulnerability in my expression prompted an instinctive protectiveness in Henry. I could feel the two of us getting closer to that scary connection, the effortless one we'd never really appreciated until it was gone.

"I don't want you to be afraid." Henry's eyes were shadowed.

"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant."

Slowly, he sat up, his hand never leaving mine. And slowly, so carefully, he leaned closer, our eyes locked.

I could feel his breath, like an almost-touch. "What are you afraid of, then?" He asked. The warmth of having him near made me tingle all over, half in fear and half in anticipation. The way he smelled… I would never get used to it.

We both shifted a little closer on the grass, hands linked. I was drowning, and I couldn't seem to take a deep enough breath to fill my lungs. Without a conscious decision to do so, my eyes drifted shut and I leaned in to kiss him. I couldn't help it. If I didn't kiss him, I felt like there would never be any relief from this sweet, painful tension.

This time, Henry shattered the magic, but it was on purpose. The lips I was searching for were suddenly gone. Even with eyes closed, I noticed the instant lack of him in my bones.

"And cut," Bob said with a distinct note of satisfaction. "Much better."

The next segment would be digitally altered later as well, with Edward's display of his superhuman strength and speed. For now, we skipped to him standing in the shadows, staring at me with mingled hunger (for Bella's blood, I supposed), confusion, and fear.

"Edward?" I called, my voice shaking. "Edward, I'm sorry."

"Give me a moment." I saw him collect himself, inhaling deeply, before coming back to sit beside me- but farther apart than we had been. "I am so very sorry," he said softly, and sincerity radiated from his pores. "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?"

I smiled, but it was still strained. Those topaz eyes were watching every minute change in my face, my body language. "Don't be afraid." The words were gentle and firm. "I promise… I _swear_ not to hurt you." I could hear the decision there, and I thought he might've surprised himself by the forcefulness behind it.

Carefully, making sure he didn't frighten me, he reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear before placing his hand back in mine. "Are you all right?"

I nodded, temporarily having lost the faculty of speech. Looking at his hand (anywhere but at those tender eyes), I traced it again while I recovered. Finally I had a question. "If it's this difficult to be around humans, why do you do it?"

He smiled ruefully. "After all this time spent building my endurance, it's usually not so hard. It's only you."

My hand stilling on his, I frowned. "What do you mean?"

He seemed to consider his words before he spoke, each one pronounced with precision. "Your blood… Every person smells different, has a different essence. For whatever reason, your scent draws me so strongly that at first, when I wasn't prepared, it threatened to overcome all my will to fight the compulsion."

Now he was the one who couldn't meet my eyes. Understanding clicked inside me. "The first day of Biology…" I trailed off, hoping he would finish my thought so I wouldn't have to guess.

A frown was etched on his pale, beautiful mouth. "I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, then and there. Again, at the car accident, and in the hospital." By which he meant he could have killed me, bystanders or no. I shivered a little, but I was glad he was being so honest.

Then he lifted his face back up to see me, a bittersweet content smoothing his expression. "For all that… I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here- with no witnesses and nothing to stop me- I were to hurt you."

"Why?" I was captivated by his confession, unable to move an inch.

"Isabella," he said with a little laugh. He ruffled my hair, the casual touch making my heart skip a beat. "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you. You are…" Oddly, here he seemed to trip over his words, his gaze dropping in uncertainty. "The most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever. "

The discomfort of the scene seemed to catch up with us both at the same time, and everyone else sensed it too. We went through the lines and the motions, yet there was no heart in it. No magic. At the end of the scene, Bob called "Cut!" in frustration, not excitement.

"What happened?" He demanded, stomping over to us. "It was perfect! It was great! And then you two just _lost _it."

I purposely didn't look at Henry. "Sorry." He echoed me.

Bob scowled. "What disappeared?"

Henry coughed. "What do you mean?"

The director's face was red. "There was this… connection. Then it was gone and it all just got weird."

I looked down at my hands. "It wasn't a disappearance that was the problem," I said softly, my hands clenching on my jeans. _It was what appeared out of nowhere and stopped us in our tracks_.

Beside me, I could feel Henry catch my train of thought. We shared a long look. There was a little bit of accusation, but mostly emotion that the scene had come too close to putting into words.

"Well… fix it," Bob grumbled. "All right. Get ready for the next take, and get it back, whatever it was."

That was when I felt the first raindrop.

I reached up to wipe it off my face, trying not to attract attention. Maybe it was a freak occurrence... Leftover dew from a nonexistent tree above me?

Of course, we would have no such luck. I heard Bob curse suddenly. "Umbrellas!" He yelled. "Protect everything!" Henry and I were hustled out of the open sky. I was pressed tightly against him as the heavens opened up and it started to pour, both of us huddled under the same umbrella until we reached the trailer.

"Slight chance of afternoon showers… yeah right," I grumbled. I wasn't talking to anyone in particular, and no one answered me. Everyone seemed to be in a bad mood now as we waited the rain out. An aide was in the trailer with us, but after a few minutes Bob called him on the radio, and he left us alone.

Henry was staring unseeingly at the wall. We sat in silence, a distance apart. This time, I was the one to reach out. "Hey," I said. He looked up at me, and his eyes were a little bit lost. My heart wrenched. What was he feeling? Did I want to know, or would it make tomorrow harder?

"Remember the last time we were in the meadow?" He asked me, never blinking until I nodded.

"How could I not?"

He swallowed. "I can't seem to think of anything else."

"Then don't," I whispered, half-afraid and half-ecstatic. "Just for today." The frustration in his voice made me want to soothe away the worried lines on his forehead. I was surprised. Was he telling the truth? Had that tenderness been real? Had it been for me, and not for Megan? There was no way to know. I didn't really believe I could affect him that way. I didn't want to believe it. It would hurt even more that he'd chosen her.

"How did things change so quickly?" he asked me, not willing to let it go.

I scuffed my foot against the floor. Where was everyone? Surely someone else should be in here, out of the weather? _Save me!_

"Don't ask me," I said. "I didn't have any say over what you decided."

"If you could have, what would you have said?" Henry posed the question gently, but he reached out and turned my face toward him. "Would you have told me to go, or to stay?"

My gaze lowered. His touch was wrong, and intoxicating, and somehow I couldn't make myself move away. He leaned in, giving me a chance to push him off, and then he kissed me.

It wasn't like the kiss in the meadow days before, soft and hesitant. This time, Henry kissed me like he was starving and I was the only thing he wanted. A little desperate. A lot incredible. My hands came to his shoulders, and even I wasn't sure if it was to shove him or hold him closer.

I had just pulled away, sanity trickling through my mind and causing alarm throughout my system, when the door opened and two crewmen came in. "It's easing off," one told us. "Once all this gets cleared up, we should be able to squeeze in a little more shooting before the big storm moves in."

Henry and I waited without speaking. Our knees brushed whenever I moved, because there just didn't seem to be enough room on the little couch. My mind was whirling. I felt so many emotions I could hardly pick any out. Shame was one of them. Amazement, another.

I didn't hate Henry, but he had no right anymore to act like we still had something. Still, when the time had come, it had been impossible to reject him. I wasn't capable of it, not today, and that frightened me to my marrow.

Half an hour passed, and everyone began again. It was now late afternoon and we all knew we were racing the weather, so there was a degree of urgency in every action. The scene progressed through the talking again, until we arrived at the difficult part. This time around, though, it felt like something had changed. I felt as though my heart was about to burst and one word from him would control whether it burst from happiness or pain.

"Isabella," he said with a little laugh. He ruffled my hair, the casual touch making my heart skip a beat. "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you. You are the most important thing to me now." Gently, his hand dropped to my chin, and he tilted my face up. "The most important thing to me ever."

My head spun- both from my reaction to his nearness and his declaration. I swallowed hard, thinking about the situation I was in… and how I would never want to be anywhere else. "And I'm here, which means I'd rather die than stay away from you." I laughed dryly, breaking the seriousness enveloping us. "I'm an idiot."

He followed me into the lighter territory. "You are an idiot," he agreed, and his hand caressed my face gently before dropping back to the grass between us. He stared at me. I'd never felt more precious. "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."

The sentence hung in the air, fraught with hope and honesty. There was a lump in my throat. I felt… loved. Like there was a whole world in front of me, all encompassed within this little meadow. "What a stupid lamb."

His mouth twisted crookedly. "What a sick, masochistic lion." His hand rested on the side of my neck, and both of us felt the rapid, steady beat of my pulse. "The blush on your cheeks is lovely." Slowly, he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. His eyes were a little bit hooded as he cupped my face.

"Be very still." His soft words registered after a moment. I was lost in the drifting haze, floating, tethered only to the way he made me feel. Both of his hands skimmed down my neck, leaving a trail of fire behind them. He explored my shoulders, my collarbone. I shut my eyes and our heads bent together, nose to nose.

I listened to the sound of his breathing, and we began to breathe in sync, silent in the revelation of these emotions. Quietly, he began to speak. "I wish you could feel the… complexity… the confusion… I feel. I'm not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?"

His voice was a little ragged, its normal melodic cadence roughened. I responded openly. "For me? No. Never. Never before this." I reached up to trace the strong lines of his face, as I had always longed to. The broad bridge of his nose, the soft, upturned corners of his mouth. I smoothed his forehead gently, trying to erase the lines of worry.

He pulled an inch away, showing signs of strain. "I don't know how to be close to you," he admitted. "I don't know if I can."

My head laid against his chest, and our arms wrapped around each other in an embrace meant to keep out the rest of the world for eternity. "This is enough," I sighed. Every cell of me hummed in contentment. The familiar feel of him, his smell, the way he kissed my hair before resting his head on mine…

It was enough to last a lifetime, I convinced myself. It would have to be. It's all I would ever have of him.

With my face hidden, a tear squeezed from underneath my eyelid and slid down my cheek. I was learning how to be strong, which meant I understood that sometimes you have to be weak because there's no such thing as constant strength. I let myself be weak for the moment and pressed as close as I could, his arms around me. _Don't call cut_, I prayed.

**AN: Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading! :)**

**-Silv**


	32. Turn Around, Bright Eyes

**AN: Under the dictionary definition of "not cooperating," you will find this chapter. But here 'tis. Also, it's songfic timeee! Except I'm not doing a character competition anymore, just a songfic, because that got complicated. I wrote about 12 pages of this chapter with "Total Eclipse of the Heart" as the song (as sung by the Glee cast), but the timing was all wrong. Then I switched to "Suppose" by Secondhand Serenade, and I hope you'll agree with me that it fits! (FYI: other contenders were "Sunshine" by the All-American Rejects and "What About Now" by Daughtry.)**

**QOTC: Change the colors of the sky, and open up to the ways you made me feel alive- the ways I loved you. For all the things that never died, to make it through the night, love will find you.**

**Chapter Thirty: Turn Around, Bright Eyes**

"Cut!"

I didn't stir. I couldn't. I stayed there, protected and safe in Henry's arms, and prolonged the moment for as long as I could. For whatever reason, he didn't seem to be in a rush either.

Forever wouldn't be long enough for me, but after a few seconds, I took a deep breath (one last inhalation of that smell, one last moment to try and preserve these feelings for the rest of my life) then I pulled away. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.

_Suppose that I missed you  
Suppose that I care_

"Great work, kids!" Bob yelled at us. "All right, we're done for the day."

Not looking at Henry, I went to change back into my comfortable clothes.

Ah, crap. I'd accepted Henry's offer of a ride _to_ the set without thinking about having to accept a ride back to the hotel as well.

Crap.

I was oh-so-tempted to ask someone else to take me- and make some pathetic excuse to Henry- but I knew he would see through it as a coward's move, and I was trying hard to be a little braver where he was concerned.

So when I saw him waiting by his car, tapping his foot absently against the gravel, I swallowed before literally (and figuratively) shouldering my baggage, reluctantly meandering in his direction. _Move, Katie. It's a ten-minute ride to the hotel. Just stare out the window and for heaven's sake __**don't talk**__._

Okay. I could do this. I could be polite and ignore the k-i-s-s. I was afraid to even think the word in my head. The fresh memory, coupled with the emotional overload of the meadow scene, sent uncomfortable tingles down my spine and weighed down my heart.

"Hey," I said breezily, tugging at the door handle. Yep. I had this. I could pretend it was all fine, that I was fine-

The door was locked. I tugged at it again, with increasing violence, before glaring over at Henry. "Open the dang door."

He frowned, looking suspiciously innocent and bemused. "It should be unlocked."

I huffed. "Well, it _isn't_." I'm not the brightest of the lightbulbs, but even I can open a door (most of the time. And, most of the time, without injuring myself or others.). A tiny smile on his gorgeous face, he came around to my side.

Henry stood beside me and held out a set of car keys. The first raindrop of the evening fell on my nose as I scowled at him. "What are you doing? It's starting to rain!"

I tried to snatch the automatic clicker, but he was too clever. His hand closed around mine, holding me immobile. I shivered- and not from the cold. "What's the magic word?"

My breath was snatched out of my lungs as I remembered the last time he had asked me that question.

_A faint look of surprise crossed his face, still half asleep. "Oh. Sorry." His arms loosened around me, but then tightened again, to the point where I could hardly breathe._

_"Hey," I protested mildly, squirming. His grin widened._

_"What's the magic word?"_

_You have __got __to be kidding me. __"Let me up, please?" I rephrased._

_"Nope," he said amiably, arms still wrapped around me._

_I poked him. "Fine, what's the magic word?"_

_He shook his head. "You have to guess."_

_I scowled blackly. "How about… let me go or I'll do something mean?"_

_"You'd never be mean to me," Henry laughed. He was more playful than I'd seen him in a long time- since he and Megan broke up. "Any more nightmares last night?"_

_"No." I frowned, thinking. "Magic word… magic word…"_

_Henry relented. "Say you love me."_

I stared at him, unable to blink or breathe or _think_, damn him. It was clear he had remembered, too. Henry was determined to make all of this as difficult as possible. "I'll go with Orla in the prop truck," I said, fighting back angry tears and trying to wrest my hand free.

_And suppose that I spent all my nights running scared  
And suppose  
That I was never there_

His grip only tightened. "Katie, turn around."

"No."

"Listen to me."

"No."

"Stop being so stubborn. I'm not being unreasonable!"

"You are," I cried out, facing him like he'd wanted. "I have every right to be stubborn and you have no right to kiss me or tease me or hold my hand." Finally I managed to tear free of him. "You lost that. I'm not going to let you hurt me again. I don't think I could survive it a second time."

Pain and guilt welled in those honey eyes, but I knew better than to soften this time around. "You're right," he admitted, his hand falling back to his side. "But…"

Uncomfortably, I noticed we were getting strange looks from the crew that was striking the set. "Don't make a scene any more than we already have."

He unlocked the door and opened it for me with a gentlemanly flourish- only the action had a slightly mocking edge that wasn't like him at all. "Then get in the car."

I protested, backing away a step. "I don't think it's a good idea, not if you're going to act like this."

Henry pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, and all of a sudden I saw the tiredness there. Had he been sleeping at all? I fought the wave of concern that swamped me. "I promise to behave myself." When I still didn't move, he sighed. "Look, you were the one who was talking about making a scene."

To my chagrin, I realized he was right. I sat in the passenger seat with all the dignity I could dredge up after a long day.

The rain was falling harder now. It was quickly turning into a downpour, the water smacking the ground instead of kissing it. Far off in the distance, I heard thunder, and I grimaced. I hated thunderstorms.

_And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you  
And at night I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through_

Henry swung his door open, climbing into the passenger seat with his hair and shirt dappled by rain. "This is going to be an ugly storm," he remarked, and I made a commiserating noise. I crossed my arms and stared out the window. We spent the next minutes in silence. Twilight, that fleeting moment between dusk and nighttime, was upon Forks.

All of a sudden, lightning cracked in the sky, far too close for comfort. It illuminated Henry's face with eerie light, his hands firmly clenched on the steering wheel. Thunder boomed two seconds after, and I shrank down into my seat.

The violence of the weather fit my inner turbulence, even as they both frightened me.

_And I can't hold on to you  
So I guess I'll be lonely too_

Of course, Henry noticed.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"I'm not an idiot, Katie." I made a slightly disbelieving noise, and he sighed, letting that pass. "You don't like thunderstorms, do you?"

I scowled, mad that he could see through me so easily. "Maybe not," I conceded. Then it happened again, like nature was having a major temper tantrum, and even when I pressed my eyes tightly closed I could see the brightness, and hear the noise.

"We're almost there," Henry said reassuringly. I didn't move from my curled-up spot. "Hey. Look at me."

I warily eased one eye open, squinting at him. "What?"

There was mischief in his expression, and he made a funny face at me. Against my better judgment, I cracked up, easing back from my almost-fetal position without thinking. Henry cranked up the radio to drown out the thunder. "Better?" He asked.

I could still hear thunder in the background, but it was just an irregular drum beat against the music. "Yes," I said, still wary.

Without the thunder, the lightning alone didn't seem so frightening, but I still jumped a little when it flashed in the sky. Henry sighed. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this," he shouted over the loud music.

I frowned. "Resort to what?"

Henry began to sing along with the radio. Very loudly… and very off-key. I couldn't help myself; I doubled over laughing, and then I started to sing with him.

Since neither of us could sing, my face was hurting from smiling. My ribs ached from laughing. I had to hand it to him. Henry could distract me like nobody else. He had this… inner light in him, and he drew me like a moth to a flame. It felt so right to laugh and sing with him, to lose all sense of fear.

Still singing, we pulled into the hotel parking lot. Henry turned the engine off, and suddenly there was just silence.

_Suppose we were happy  
Suppose it was true_

Oh, how I missed him. I didn't deny, just to myself, that I missed Henry. I missed teasing him, and seeing him smile for me, and being able to say and do anything and have him just… be there. I'd never had a relationship like that with anyone before, male or female. It was surprising how quickly I'd grown accustomed to something I had known would be transient.

Outside the window, the rain continued to pound the bumpy pavement. Lightning flashed, and it broke the stillness.

"Thank you," I said quietly, and all of the day's events rushed back into my consciousness. I returned to sanity reluctantly.

He glanced at me, a smile in his tired eyes. "For what? My incredible impromptu concert?"

I snorted. "I think everyone in Forks with hearing is thanking you for stopping." He put a hand to his heart, pretending to be wounded. "I miss you." The words slipped out; they were an inevitable result of the kiss, the meadow scene, the talking, the laughing.

Henry's eyes locked on mine before he turned away, staring out the window as I had done for much of the ride. "I miss you too."

_And suppose there were cold nights  
But we somehow made it through_

I reached for the door handle, feeling awkward for having admitted to my weakness. What had happened to strength, and Katie power, and all that? I found that it was locked. Irritated, I hit the unlock button, but Henry locked it again.

Groaning, I flopped back against the seat. "Not _again_. Henry, I'm exhausted. Let's just go inside and forget this whole day ever happened, okay?"

"Okay," he said, and my eyes shot open again in suspicion. He sounded entirely too agreeable. "But there is a catch."

I groaned again. "What is it?"

"I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly. Then you can go and I promise I won't ever mention today again if you don't want me to."

Ouch, that was one dangerous catch. "Um… no."

"Have it your way." I could hear the amusement there, and oh-so-sneakily I crept my hand toward the unlock button. "Don't even try it. Either agree to answer my question, or we can just sleep in here tonight."

I stared at him without expression. "Do you realize how much of a butt you are?"

He laughed at me. "Yes. So which is it? Because I'm pretty comfortable right here."

Sighing, I considered the implications of both decisions. Just about when I'd decided to fall asleep where I was, it thundered again, and I jumped out of my skin. "Okay, okay," I said, hating myself. "I'll answer your question if you'll answer mine. And I get to go first."

"Deal."

Ick. Now I actually had to make up a question that he wouldn't want to answer, and when he wouldn't answer me, I would have a way out of answering _his_ question. Man, I'm good. I chose carefully, picking a topic I knew he was uncomfortable with. I was uncomfortable too, but oh well. "If you love Megan so much you were ready to marry her, why do you do this?"

"You're going to have to elaborate," Henry said after it was clear I was finished. There was tension radiating from him now, but to my amazement he seemed to be_ thinking_. Surely he wasn't going to answer me?

"If she's your one and only, why did you kiss me? Why don't you just let me move on? You have to realize that it's really hard for me to stay away from you as it is, but it's for my own good, and you're making it so much worse."

He was silent for so long I was sure he wasn't going to say anything. I started to prompt him and he held up one finger. "I'm thinking about how to put my answer." I stilled, my breath catching in my chest. All the lightning and thunder outside faded in comparison to my concentration.

Even worse, now that I'd put the question on the floor, I wasn't sure I wanted to know. If he did answer me, I'd have to answer _him_. Maybe I wasn't so smart after all…

"I told you… I'm confused right now," he began, and when I started to protest that that didn't explain anything, he reached over and put his finger against my mouth. I quieted, and he took his hand away. "I shouldn't have kissed you. I don't regret it, but I'm with Megan, and I shouldn't have done that."

I waited for him to continue, and he did.

"I'm confused because for the longest time, Megan was who I wanted. She was that girl I saw and instantly wanted to be with. She was… like fireworks. Bright and dazzling." He smiled wistfully, his eyes far away. "I felt so lucky that she wanted to be with me too. For the longest time I didn't see anything wrong with our relationship. Not until I met you."

Still I said nothing, for once just listening. I couldn't find any words to say.

"With you… it was so different. You were my friend first and foremost. I felt- no, I feel- so comfortable and easy with you. I don't feel the need to impress you, or be someone I'm not. With Megan, the problem was that I liked who I was for her. I didn't mind that it wasn't really me, not all the time. I didn't even notice it until things started to change with you and me, and by then, Megan and I had broken up so I felt like maybe I'd found the reason for everything that had happened. I didn't plan to love you this way."

I tried not to cringe. Me, the reason for everything that had happened? Hardly. And obviously, he couldn't love me that much, but I didn't interrupt.

"And then Megan came back. It repaired my pride, and I've been with her so long it just felt right to say yes to another try. But now, with both of you here, I don't know what I want. It doesn't feel the same anymore. I think about you when I'm with her and I want things I don't understand. It scares me. Megan is the safe option. I know what I have with her. But you… I don't know where I stand. I can't stop wanting to be near you, and I'm afraid it will never stop."

_And suppose that I'm nothing without you._

My throat was locked up with a mix of emotions. I felt… worse and better at the same time. Better because I understood what he was thinking, and my heart was lighter for knowing that he wasn't playing with me. He couldn't help himself.

I wasn't the only one.

I felt worse because no matter what he said or did now, I was still second best. Second choice. No amount of heartfelt explaining, Pop-Tart sharing, or singing off-key would change that. Plus, he was still with Megan, which said something all by itself.

"What's your question?" I asked, my voice raspy. I didn't respond to his confession. I didn't know how to.

He stared at me for a moment, looking… disappointed. He recovered quickly. "What I asked earlier, when we were alone. Would you have told me to go to Megan or to stay with you?"

I flinched, like I had when lightning flashed- but this time it was worse, because there was no escaping Henry. This painful brightness wouldn't go away. It would illuminate us, even the things I wanted to keep in the dark.

"You promised to answer me," he reminded me.

"I know," I whispered, already regretting it. "Give me a second." He waited patiently, his gaze never leaving my face. "Why do you want to know?"

Henry smiled at me, his eyes bright in the shadows. "Now, now, don't go breaking the rules on me. A question for a question, and I already answered mine."

I shut my eyes. Looking at him would make getting the words out even more impossible. "I would have said… to go to her."

Peering tentatively at him, I saw the flash of hurt across his face before he hit the unlock button and schooled his face into an impassive mask. "That settles things, I suppose."

Desperate to make him understand, I reached out to take his wrist as he moved to open his door. "Let me say what I mean." His eyes flew to me, and there was pain there. As always, I had an impulse to take his pain away, and I was determined to try. "I would have told you to go because I wouldn't want you to resent me. It would have been selfish for me to ask you to stay, when so much of your life was with Megan for so long."

I had to swallow hard, throat aching all over again. "If I was choosing for myself, of course I would've wanted you to be with me. I loved you, Henry, in a way I've never loved anybody else. But if we were ever going to be together, there couldn't have been anything in the way. No baggage or regrets or maybes." Then I moved my hand from his wrist to his hand, covering it with mine, because I was afraid to say the next part. "But the truth is, you shouldn't have had to ask me. If I was what you wanted, then there shouldn't have been a decision to make."

His hand released the door handle. "You say you loved me in the past tense. It's not true anymore?"

I smiled at him tiredly. "A question for a question, and I've answered mine." I released him and opened the door; Henry let me go. After I entered the hotel lobby, I looked back to see that he was still sitting in the car, gazing in my direction.

It took everything I had, but I turned my back on him and went to my room.

_My eyes are screaming for the sight of you  
And tonight I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through_

Henry walked inside slowly, and he was soaked by the time he got to the lobby. Almost on autopilot, he went to Megan's room and knocked.

She opened the door, a cell phone attached to her ear. "Oh, hey, honey! Come on in." She leaned up to kiss him, not seeming to notice that Henry drew back from her a little. She talked on the phone. "Henry's here, dearest, so I'm going to talk to you later, okay? Love you bunches, let me know what happens with Milan."

The phone snapped shut and Megan smiled at him, her blinding white teeth glaringly obvious. Henry found himself wishing for a different smile- one with a tiny gap between the two front teeth, a smile that was a little rarer and a lot more sincere.

This had been happening for the past few days. He would see Megan, and he would try to feel happy and contented, but he couldn't get Katie out of his head. It was frustrating. Ever since their conversation at the overlook, she occupied his thoughts. He kept thinking about how to apologize, how to make it up to her and win her over.

All entirely inappropriate thoughts for a man who, a little over a month ago, had been prepared to ask a different girl to marry him; a girl who was standing in front of him, beautiful and sweet and intelligent.

"How was your day?" Megan asked, looping her hand through his arm and leading him over to the couch.

"Interesting."

"Oh, good. You'll never guess what happened today. Camilia called, and she got me the most incredible audition in Tokyo. And I've been booked to do a spread in _Seventeen! _Oh, Henry, I can't believe it. I feel like the whole world is at my feet."

She was beaming at him, her enormous, innocent eyes sparkling in the lamplight. "That's great," he answered, and they lapsed into an awkward silence- the sort of silence that had been happening more and more often since she'd come back. "Megan, there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Of course, honey."

She sat patiently. Her hair, as always, floated around her, perfectly straight and glossy. She smelled of expensive perfume. Megan was what he had always wanted, the girl from his dreams that he had pictured himself with. But how much of her beauty was superficial? It seemed like all she talked about was her career. He'd bet she didn't even know what scene he had filmed today.

_And I can't hold on to you  
So I guess I'll be lonely too_

Just to check, he asked: "Did I mention what we were working on today?" He knew he had- he'd left her a message this morning, in fact, after Bob had called- but for some reason he doubted she'd paid attention.

She smiled as prettily as ever. "I don't think so."

"The meadow scene," he told her. There was no recognition in Megan's eyes. No flicker of worry or even understanding. "It's… an important one," he said lamely.

"That's nice."

Another awkward silence. "Megan… I kissed Katie today."

Was it just his imagination, or did her eyes narrow? "Oh, as part of the scene? Well, I'm glad you mentioned it, but it's only acting. I understand."

Henry braced himself and took her hand. "No. I mean… not when we were acting." He saw his meaning register, and she snatched her hand away.

"That slut," she growled. "I warned her, Henry. I know it isn't your fault, and you're too much of a gentleman to make it clear, but I told her she wasn't to play with you anymore. I can't believe she kissed you."

Now Henry was the one to pull away, standing up abruptly. "What are you talking about? Did you really just call her a… a slut?" The word came with difficulty to him, because that particular four-letter word and Katie simply didn't mesh.

Megan clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh. I suppose so. I'm sorry… I overreacted." Her innocent eyes stared up at him. "She must have done this deliberately to hurt us. To hurt me."

He stared at her in disbelief, unable to recognize this… harpy as the woman he'd been with for three years. Had she always been like this, or had she changed? He didn't know, and he didn't especially care to find out. "Didn't you hear what I said, Megan? I kissed her." He put emphasis on 'I.' "I'm the one responsible, and I don't regret it."'

Tears spilled out of Megan's eyes, and she pushed him, making him stumble. "How could you do that to me? After I gave you another chance. After I gave you my trust. You didn't deserve it! You two deserve each other!"

"This is the first time I've ever done anything to earn your accusations, but you've never believed me," Henry said firmly. He felt plenty of emotions, but the primary one was anger. That day on set, what had Megan said to Katie? No wonder his friend had reacted the way she had. "You don't trust me- you never have- and that's not fair. I've always been honest with you, especially now."

Megan snorted derisively, and all of her perceived prettiness was changed into pettiness with that one revealing expression. "Like I'm supposed to believe that."

"Believe what you want," Henry said, and he was partly in shock. How had things escalated into this breakdown? He couldn't find it in himself to apologize, though, because he didn't know what he would apologize for. He didn't regret kissing Katie and he didn't regret telling Megan the truth. "I think you'd better pack, Megan. We're done here. Good luck in Milan, or Tokyo, or wherever the hell it is you left your soul."

He stormed out the door, and when he arrived at his own room, somehow he couldn't make himself go in. He needed… Katie. Of course he did. He needed to tell her he was sorry, he'd been stupid, it was his fault. He needed to know if she could forgive him.

Of all the mistakes he'd ever made, this had to be the biggest.

_Slow way down  
This breakdown's eating me alive_

(back to Katie's POV)

Jason intercepted me on the way to my room. "Hey, Katie." I stared at him blankly. It was late in the evening and I was tired. What could he possibly want?

"Hi, Jason," I said politely. "We didn't have any work scheduled, did we?"

He grinned, looking completely unabashed. "No. This is pleasure, not business."

"Oh. Okay. What's up?" I was drawing a blank. If this wasn't about my failure to learn Spanish grammar and trig identities in my spare time, what could be so important he'd seek me out?

"I want to ask you a question, and I want you to answer me honestly."

What was up with everyone asking me personal questions today? Seriously. I was done. After I got through whatever Jason had in store for me, I was going into my room, curling up on the couch with a pillow over my head, and sleeping for twelve hours. No more people, please.

"All right, what is it?" I finally grumbled.

"I realize that back in L.A., our date didn't go so well." Jason bulldozed on despite my stunned expression. "But I really do like you. I think you're amazing, and I can't help hoping that maybe... Do you think that you could give me one more chance, and I can promise not to go all psycho?"

He smiled at me, and I was flabbergasted. "I… um…" I ran a hand through my hair self-consciously. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but neither did I especially want to date him. His slightly maniacal tendencies concerned me.

But then again, everyone has their little quirks. "Why not?" I shrugged nonchalantly, fighting the sinking feeling in my stomach. This was a good thing, I told myself. It would take my mind off of Henry, and I needed a distraction. Plus… maniacal tendencies aside, Jason was pretty cute.

All righty then. "Really?" Jason exclaimed, and he gave me a one-armed hug. "That's great! I checked your schedule, and you have tomorrow afternoon free. Want to go get lunch or something?"

I held up my hand. "Jason, if you really want another chance, you're going to have to stop this control thing. Yes, that sounds fine, but from now on my schedule is my issue, all right?"

He looked a little shamefaced. "Absolutely. Sorry!"

"It's okay. Good night," I said, yawning. He kissed me on the cheek before letting me go. I didn't feel repulsion, or attraction. I just… didn't really care, either way, and I knew that that wasn't necessarily a good thing, but I was done with pining over Henry. He needed to see that. Everyone needed to see that I was stronger than one setback.

_And I'm tired  
This fire is fighting to survive_

I dug my room key out of my pocket, happy to see my temporary hotel-room home. My mom was waiting for me, sitting with dinner in front of the TV. "Hi, Katie dear," she greeted me. "How was your day?"

Fighting a burst of (only slightly) hysterical laughter, I swallowed down my instinctive answer and went the safe route. "Lots of rain."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, that's not exactly a surprise in Forks. Were you able to get your scene filmed before this storm began?"

I sat down and picked up a plate, chowing down on pizza and a fruit tray (my mom loves junk food, but hates the guilt trip, so she frequently combines junk and healthy food in an effort to balance it all out. Go figure.). "Yeah. We had to take a break in the afternoon while it rained, but we got it done in time."

Mom and I watched TV together for a bit, and then she sighed. "It's still storming."

"Nothing like stating the obvious," I replied, and she smacked me on the knee. The thunder still freaked me out a little, but inside a sturdy building with food and a TV on, it wasn't bad.

"I was hoping to get a driving lesson in," she said, pouting. "We're already getting behind schedule!" She pulled out an Excel spreadsheet with… a syllabus and a schedule for my driving lessons. Just what I needed.

"That's a shame," I said. "But since there's a storm on and all, I think I'll hit the sack."

I had to hint a couple more times before Mom finally got up and went into the bedroom. I changed into pajamas before snuggling happily beneath the blankets on the couch. Ah... Sleep.

The phone rang just as I settled my head on the pillow. I moaned, flinging my hand out to bring the loud device toward me. I cracked one eye open to see the caller ID.

_Henry_.

I was immobilized. I couldn't hit ignore; I couldn't answer. Not now, I thought. It's too soon.

The phone went to voicemail, cutting off quickly. I sighed in relief, trying to get blissfully snuggly again, and then the shrill ring knifed through the air once more.

My mom called from the next room, "Are you going to answer that, or sit there and stare at it?"

Filled with trepidation, I hit the talk button and pressed the phone close to my ear. "Hello?"

_Tell me a secret (I want it)  
Tell me a story (I need it)_

"I need to talk to you," Henry whispered. His accented voice played across my starving ears like music. The phone had excellent speakers. It was the strangest thing- surround sound. Almost as though he were standing outside the door…

""Didn't we just do that? I thought I made it pretty clear I was done for the day, Henry," I said. I didn't mean to sound irritated, but really, first he acted like he wanted nothing to do with me- then he wouldn't leave me alone. I would never understand the half of my species that possessed a Y chromosome.

"Katie, please. I need you. I know it's selfish, and I don't deserve it, but I need my friend."

I could hear the tears he was trying to hold back, and instantly I sat up, jamming my feet into flip-flops and scribbling a hasty note to my mother, who was already snoring again. "Where are you?"

"Outside your door."

"I'm coming, hold on." I undid the night latch and slipped out. I knew I looked like crap, in baggy pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt, but if Henry needed me, none of it mattered.

And there he was- still in today's clothes, tears trickling down his face. I shut the door behind me, leaving us relatively alone in the hallway. Slowly, I hung up, and so did he. "What's wrong?

His face was pale, the dark circles under his eyes even more evident than they had been earlier. "I broke up with Megan." My heart ached to see him hurting. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to take the hurt into myself. I could stand to see his eyes cold and emotionless, or even angry with me, but filled with pain? I didn't have it in me to turn him away.

"I'm sorry, Henry," I said softly. He held on to me like a life raft.

"I'm not. I know it was the right thing." Henry spoke with conviction.

I rubbed his back gently, amazed that I had the power to comfort him. "That doesn't stop it from hurting, does it?" I asked, still quiet, mindful of the rooms around us.

He pulled away and I saw his eyes were reddened, but now dry. "No," he agreed. "Can we go somewhere?"

I nodded. "I'm here." He took my hand and we walked to the back of the hotel. The rain was still pouring outside, so we sat in the laundry room, which was quiet and deserted this late.

_I'll listen attentively  
I'll stay awake all night_

Henry stared at me, still holding onto my hand. For once, I felt needed. I felt wanted. It was addicting, and if I let this moment affect me, I knew I'd forgive and forget everything between us faster than I could snap my fingers.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked tentatively.

He leaned his head back against the wall. "I just… I could see that she wasn't who I thought she was, you know? She wasn't who I needed." Henry looked over at me. "What did she say to you, that day on set? I asked once, and you wouldn't tell me."

I cleared my throat quietly. "That's because I think it's better to just let it get buried. It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me. I know you wouldn't lie."

There was so much earnestness in his words, and his face was open like a book. I shifted, only then realizing our hands were still linked. My face flushed and gently I tried to pull away. He pulled back. "She told me to stay away from you," I said with a casual shrug. "Typical female marking her territory. Nothing major."

Henry touched my chin with his free hand, turning my face towards him. So close to him. Too close. "Is that everything?"

_All I need is a whisper _

_(So don't leave)_

I blinked, and I could feel my face reddening even more. "It's all that matters."

"Did she call you a name?" He asked. I could hear anger lacing his voice like an undercurrent.

How did he know? I didn't want to begin tossing mud on Megan, even though she definitely deserved it. That wasn't the way to handle anything. "Henry, it's in the past."

"I told her I kissed you."

I froze, my hand clenching in his. "Why on earth did you do that?" I yelped. Visions of being murdered with a mascara wand floated through my imagination.

"Because I needed to be honest. She… didn't take it well." His smile was wry and bitter. "I've never seen her like that, Katie. I didn't know. I guess, even after three years, I didn't really know her at all." I hated to see him cynical. He had such a big heart, and people took advantage of it too often. _Like me_? I wondered uneasily, remembering that when we had met, Henry had reached out to read lines with me, to make me more comfortable, to help me. He was just the white knight type.

_There's nothing left in me _

_(Please help me)_

"She hides it really well," I whispered, not looking at him. "I even liked her when I met her in Los Angeles." There were so many unanswered questions. Questions I didn't want to answer and didn't want to ask. My traitorous heart was just happy to sit here, and be near to Henry. "It isn't your fault. You always believe the best of people."

He started to say something else, but I cut him off. "I don't care about her or anything she said. What I care about is whether or not you're okay."

He squeezed my hand tightly. "I am now." He seemed to choose his words gingerly. "I left her, and I didn't want to be alone. I wanted you." I started to blink hard. _I will not cry. I won't let him do that to me._ "All I could think about was how stupid I'd been. And how I could earn your trust again." Taking my other hand with his, and forcing me to face him, he said, "I don't want to have to be without you. I felt like a part of me was missing every time I saw you, and didn't say anything. Every time I wanted to hold your hand and couldn't."

_Not even my body is strong enough to fight _

_(Let's make this right)  
Please help me make this right_

"Henry, stop," I said, cutting him off again. There were some things it would be better to leave unsaid- at least for now. I looked down at our hands, entwined, and I sighed- half in longing, wishing I could give up the fight to stay strong; and half in sadness, knowing that if I did that, I'd lose some of my newfound self-respect.

"I missed you," I told him. "I do miss you. But that doesn't change the fact that we've both messed up a lot. We can't rewrite anything that happened. I feel like I'm second best, that I don't matter. I know that that might seem stupid to you, but it's how I feel."

"It is stupid," he agreed. "Because it isn't true, and it never was, even when I couldn't see what was really important- but I get it." Henry stared into my eyes, like a scene from a movie, and asked: "Can you forgive me? Not this second, or tomorrow, but can you?"

_Suppose that I was wrong  
Suppose you were here_

I looked at him- really looked at him. I looked past the surface, which admittedly was handsome and incredible and what had first drawn me to him. I looked at Henry, who despite everything I still loved more than anyone else. He had an amazing ability to draw me out of my shell, to take away all my fears, to make me hope for things I'd never even thought of before.

Henry, who knew me better than even my parents. Henry, who was the only person who knew all my vulnerabilities, the only person who I didn't doubt would catch me if I fell. If I would give in, we'd go back to how we had been, and maybe more.

There was a fragile moment where all our secrets seemed to be tossed into the air, and wherever they fell was out of my control.

Swallowing hard, I stared at my knees. "Yes." Out of the corner of my eye I saw a smile begin on his face and reach his eyes. "But it might take a little while. If you really do want to be with me, you're going to have to wait until I'm ready."

Henry, still holding my hands, nodded. "That's fair," he said softly. The smile still curved his mouth, and the tiredness seemed to have disappeared from his face. It thundered outside, but I wasn't scared. He drew me close, and I rested my head on his shoulder in contentment.

_And suppose that I reached out and caught your tears  
And suppose this fight just disappeared._

"If we're calling a truce," I said, "there's probably something I should mention." He looked down at me, his eyebrows raised in question. "I'm going to go on a date with Jason."

Henry's expression barely changed- he was good at controlling himself- but I saw a telltale darkening in his eyes. "Why?"

I shrugged. "He's cute, and friendly. Besides, don't you believe people deserve second chances?" My question seemed innocent, but we both knew that there was only one logical way for him to answer.

"Well… yes, but within reason!" He exclaimed. "Is this to punish me? Because if it is, pick something else. Something that doesn't make me worry about you."

I shook my head, laughing. "Not everything is about you, Henry," I chided. "I genuinely think that Jason acts so strange because he's insecure. Maybe, if he gets more comfortable, we'll really like each other."

Henry glared at me, his mouth set, and I smiled sweetly up at him. _Of course,_ I added mentally, _giving you a taste of your own medicine is an added bonus. Let's see if you like being the second choice._

_And my eyes are screaming for the sight of you  
And at night I'm dreaming of all the things that we've been through_

My friend is a much wiser man than I generally give him credit for, because he knows when to fight… and when to retreat. "You're not going to budge on this, are you?"

"Nope," I said agreeably.

"Fine. But going on a date with him… would you call it being in a relationship?"

I should have noticed the renewed glint in his eyes, but I was too focused on trying to decide the best answer. "Not really. At least, not yet."

Henry grinned, and with his arms around me, he murmured in my ear, "Excellent. Then I reserve the right to try to change your mind." Softly, he kissed the hollow beneath my ear. I shivered.

I tried to push him off, and failed. "You're not playing fair."

He seemed to consider my accusation for a second, and then he leaned in to kiss me before I knew what he was doing. His lips met mine for the second time today, and I couldn't breathe. Sensation shot up and down my spine, and deep in my stomach, I felt a strange little tug.

Henry lifted his head, a tiny smile on his lips. The lips I'd just kissed. Oh, good heavens- literally. "Have it your way. I'll play fair… unless you tell me otherwise." He stood, and I wanted to protest, already missing his warmth and touch. Still… I was the one who had mentioned Jason, and I felt a twinge of guilt.

I took Henry's hand to stand up, and although I never would've admitted it, I was disappointed when he let my hand go. He made it seem so effortless, like it didn't bother him at all.

He walked me back to my room, and I faced him, the room key in my hand. I gazed up at his face, scanning it for any trace left of pain, anger, or sorrow. "You're okay, right?"

"Never better," he answered.

I was sure a smile spread on my face from ear to ear, but I simply said, "Good night."

"Good night." Henry turned and walked away. Taking a deep breath, trying to absorb everything that had just happened, I let myself into my room and fell onto the couch.

That night, I dreamed, and there were no more nightmares.

_And I can't hold on to you  
So I guess I'll be lonely too  
But I'd rather be here, with you._

**AN: Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!**

**-Silviael**


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